Sorry if this chapter seems a bit repetitive.
Soma did not see Megumi for the rest of the night.
Nor did he see her the next morning, as her door was still closed as it was last night.
And as it was the various times he checked during the night after waking up from dreams that centered around her.
She didn't show up for breakfast.
And she was nowhere to be seen by the time they would leave for school.
Soma contemplated on staying home in order to make it easier for Megumi to find him if she wanted. However, she would have came to him long ago if she had wanted to. He decided to go to Totsuki in the end.
Unlike the way from school where they had been coming home at different times, they would always go to school together. This would be the first time in a very long time that he took the road alone, and the path felt even more vacant and longer than it had last night. "It's just brighter this time and I'm tired." He mumbled a reason to himself, and it did make sense at the time.
Yet the empty feeling only grew as the day went by. It didn't help that he had an unnaturally vacant seat beside him most of the day. He never knew how instinctively he would look over in that direction until today, whether it was to share an expression over what the teacher said or to start up a conversation during a break. There were even moments that he just would simply glance over when his focus was starting to falter in the classroom.
He would be met with empty space each time.
And a reminder of the events from yesterday.
He went home immediately after class, ignoring anyone calling his name.
None of them were the person he wanted to see, anyways.
Soma decided to go the kitchen after changing. Just because he did not want to duel anyone at the moment did not mean he wasn't in the mood to cook. Maybe if he focused on a new take on a dish he could get rid of…whatever was making him feel so weird.
However, that plan never got executed.
Mainly because of the person standing in front of her door a little bit away.
Once again, Megumi made him shut down. This time it was just from the shock of seeing her.
She seemed surprised to see him as well, as she jumped at his appearance. However, she took far less time to recover than him.
"You're home early." She observed, and Soma hated the neutral expression she was starting to take on. Megumi was an emotional person, even in her quiet moments. Seeing this side of her was not okay. "Whatever," She continued. "I'm sure you have other things to do."
"I don't." He uttered out. "That's why I was trying to find you-"
"Oh. Nice to know that I'm the last resort." Her face fell into such a miserable expression that Soma thought he would rather see her impassionate one from earlier.
"That's-" He tried to explain, but the female straightened up and turned away from him.
"See you later, Soma." Megumi didn't even look back at him as she went down the stairs, effectively ending his chances for conversation at the moment. He groaned and punched his doorframe. He had nothing to do because he was trying to find her, not the other way around. Why did she take it the wrong way? Why did it bother him so much that she did? She didn't even let him explain. She wouldn't let him explain. He clutched his head in his hands, suddenly getting an awful headache. His head was too loud. It was never too loud. Questions and theories and feelings were bouncing around his mind in an endless chatter. He felt powerless. Confused. Suffocated.
And he had no idea how to make it stop.
The sky was cloudy on one of the nights of the Moon Festival.
Soma was busy pushing the small but heavy cart through the emptying pathways. He had run out of extras a bit ago and was just returning the cart to its place for the next day. Megumi was walking besides him, seemingly deep in her own thoughts.
"Tadokoro!" A voice interrupted their semi-silent walk. They both paused to allow a student to catch up with them. The bluenette smiled and called a greeting to the male. Soma never caught his name, though and stared in confusion.
"He's from club." Megumi clarified as the male came closer. Soma nodded, understanding.
"We missed you at our booth the last couple of days." He said.
"Ah, sorry. I had promised to help my friend out this year." Megumi apologized.
"Is this your stand?" The guy looked around the noodle cart. Megumi nodded.
"It's mostly Soma's, but yeah."
"Wait." The clubmate gaped at Soma like he just realized that the redhead was there. "'Soma', like in 'Yukihira Soma'? The crazy person who's taking on Kuga?"
"That's the one." Soma replied. "And I think I can take him down."
But the male ignored him. Instead he sent a worried glance towards Megumi. "Aren't you afraid that you won't make enough and get expelled?"
"I'll be fine." She assured him.
"Is that what you did in middle school?" Soma asked once the male had left. "You used to help out in their stand?"
Megumi nodded.
"Do you miss working there this time?"
"To be honest, I do. But I already told you why I chose to work with you."
"But you're not worried about being expelled?" Soma had no idea why he was asking that question, as he was confident that he would succeed in his challenge with Kuga. But the slim chance of him not being able to and taking Megumi down with him was suddenly a prominent outcome in his mind.
"Do you think that we can take Kuga down?" She asked.
"Of course." His pride was starting to take over again.
"Then we will be fine. I trust you."
Soma felt a warmth in his chest at her words.
"I'd be less confident if I didn't have you." He blurted out.
"Eh?" Her head snapped towards him. Shock was clearly etched on her face.
"It's true. You're helping me a lot." Soma continued. "I'm glad to have a best friend like you."
"Best… friend?" Megumi said slowly.
"Yup."
The moon decided to peek between the clouds then, catching Megumi's face the moment she broke into a smile. Soma froze at the sight.
Had she always looked this…angelic? Ethereal? Enchanting?
"You look like shit."
"Nii-chan…"
"I know I do." Soma lifted himself from his desk, slightly annoyed that whatever peace he had found had been broken.
This was the second day Megumi had not come to school. To be honest, he was fine with that fact today. He really did not want a repeat of the treatment he had suffered last night. Megumi had eaten dinner with everyone this time, but she made the extra effort to sit as far away from him as possible. She didn't even look in his direction the whole meal. He knew because he had been staring at her for most of the time he was there. She acted like nothing had happened, easily having conversations with their dormmates and laughing along with them.
He wished that he could do the same.
It was not like his other friends were ignoring him. They had made it clear that they wouldn't. They even tried to get his opinion on things that night. But seeing Megumi so far away from him instead of their usual closeness made Soma feel sick. Somehow, he finished his food before excusing himself early. He vaguely remembered someone asking if something was wrong.
Of course something was wrong. This empty, sick, and somewhat painful feeling would not go away and was getting worse each time his eyes would land on the girl he called his best friend.
But he had shaken his head, mumbled some excuse about exhaustion, and went up to his room.
"You didn't sleep well last night?" Takumi asked.
"No." Soma answered truthfully. His dreams haunted him again, but he was used to little sleep. It was the weird feeling that he still had that he wasn't used to.
"That's not an excuse to look like this." The blond gestured to all of Soma.
"I know." The redhead simply said.
"Hmph." Takumi folded his arms. "You haven't challenged me in a couple days."
"You have your giant-ass knife, so why should we battle again?"
"Because I won last time." Takumi reminded him. "However, it was by one judge so I have no choice but to challenge you again for a landslide victory. So, do you accept my challenge?"
"Here we go again." Isami sighed, and Soma remembered some words the last time he was challenged like this.
"I think the only way I'll get to hang out with my best friend is by challenging him, because he seems to forget about any other plans he makes with me beforehand."
"No." He mumbled.
"Are you sure? Scared that I will succeed in a landslide vic-"
"I just don't want to this time, alright!" Soma snapped. He could hear his voice echo in the nearly empty Elite Ten office. That's was the whole reason he came in at this time, to be alone and have something to do instead of going home and risk running into a certain person again.
Takumi, finally taking the hint that he wanted to be alone, huffed and went back to his seat. Isami, however, did not follow.
"Sorry for my brother." The brunet apologized in a low voice. "When he gets fired up, he forgets about everything else in the world but his challenger."
Soma stiffened. It sounded somewhat similar to what Megumi had said to him. Did he really act like this all the time? He looked over towards Megumi's seat. Other than a few papers, the desk was empty. She was always vigilant about her paperwork, making sure to not let too much pile on her desk. She would even do some of his as well when she was done with hers.
"It gives you more time to focus on your challenges." She had said.
"Is Megumi okay?" Isami asked. "I haven't seen her since, well…"
"I don't know." Soma said dejectedly. "She won't even talk to me."
Isami hummed. "I can tell that you're not okay, though."
"I'm not. And it's all my fault. And I don't know how to fix it. I don't know how to fix anything. He started to rambled but couldn't stop himself. "And I feel so empty. I feel sick. And there are so many things that remind me of her and how far away she is from me now."
"You feel lonely without her." Isami confirmed.
"Yeah…" Soma said.
It had been such a long time since he had experienced loneliness. He had when he was much younger and ousted by his peers. He occupied himself with cooking to make up for the time that he could have had used for friends if he had any close ones. Sure, he had Kurase and her friends to keep him company, but he didn't really see them as equals as he had with Megumi and everyone here at Totsuki. In fact, the bluenette was actually in different category away from everyone else.
Perhaps that was why he missed her so much. She filled a hole that no one else had or could.
"How do you deal with Takumi when he gets like that?" Soma asked quietly, not wanting to alert the blond of his question.
Isami glanced over at his twin.
"I have to remind him to observe his surroundings. If he focuses on only one thing, he misses on whatever happens in the background."
Soma leaned back in his chair, processing the words. Yuki had screamed this to him the other day as well. However, he had brushed it off because he had thought he could solve the problem like he would when it came to a difficult dish.
And that was the problem.
He had let cooking take up too much of his life, and now it threatened to push a person he realized was very dear to him out of it.
"Shit…" He brought his knees up and buried his head in his arms. "I am such an ass. No wonder she doesn't want to talk to me. I never listened to her."
"Yeah, people really don't like it when they are ignored."
"I ignored her so, so much." Soma's voice was still muffled. Megumi was an angel for being by his side for as long as she had, and he barely showed his gratitude for it. Maybe he had given what now felt like half-assed apologies. And she had forgiven him so many times before for his actions and yet he continued to act the same if not worse.
He had driven his angel to her breaking point.
No one said anything for a few minutes, which Soma was thankful for. It gave him some time to think about what to do next. Eventually, he uncurled himself and stood up.
"Thank you." He told Isami, who just gave him a thumbs up. "Takumi." He called, his golden eyes landing on the blond. "I'm sorry for yelling at you earlier."
"It's fine. Sorry I bothered you when you weren't feeling well." Takumi replied.
"Thanks." Soma sighed and walked towards the entrance.
"Where are you going?" Takumi asked.
"To end the waiting game."