thank you to Emrys Ivy for the review! you have guessed right LOL

just wanted to preface using as little spoilers as I can to say that this chapter has a different tone. discretion is advised. I will expand more about things at the end of the chapter.

also, wanted to note that Byakuran is talking to them in Japanese here bc I can only assume that the Vongola crew doesn't know an ounce of Italian

Chapter 25: Blood

"Choice!"

The golden roulette began spinning, and eventually landed on the following symbols according to the Flame Type.

Vongola - Sky:1 Rain:1 Storm:1 Non-Ring:2

Millefiore - Sun:1 Mist:1 Cloud:1 Lightning:1

I stared at the Lightning Flame symbol for awhile, coming to the realization that Byakuran had likely rigged the roulette to have me participate in the battle. I knew what he was doing. He was telling me to choose between my family, and well, my famiglia.

Sick bastard.

As each side identified who would be participating, I felt someone's gaze on mine and turned to meet it.

Hibari.

I donned a mask, yet Hibari's eyes narrowed directly at me. Did he know? Could he tell? Still staring at me, he boldly declared, "I'm fighting."

Dino piped up immediately. "Kyoya, you can fight whoever you want after everything is over."

Hibari frowned. "No. I'm fighting her."

Dino sighed. "You can fight her after, Kyoya."

Hibari continued to hold his gaze on me. I could only hope he was telling me to stay alive, as he then turned to Tsuna. "Don't kill her. She's mine."

Tsuna frowned, confused, but nodded. "Of course, Hibari-san." Tsuna's gaze turned serious. "I can guarantee there will be no killing."

I flinched. Killing. The word alone lead me back to the events that had happened days prior, though it felt like years had past since then. The day I...

"Mark my words, bitch! You'll never be able to forget about me! Ever! Eve-"

Every time I looked at the mirror I could still see his blood on my face. The blood that resembled the color of my eyes, the blood that continually spilled out of the corpse, the blood that belonged to someone who did not hesitate to kill Takeshi and would have if I hadn't-!

A hand on my head snapped me out of my thoughts. Byakuran's face was right in front of mine with a bright smile. "Now, Mi-chan, letting out your bloodlust now would be pointless, wouldn't it? Wait till the battle! After all, there will be no killing, Vongola says! Ha!~" His eyes glinted with amusement. "You wouldn't want to let your family know of what you've already done, now would you?"

They would look at me like I was a monster.

No...

I am a monster.

Byakuran, you son of a bitch.

"You were called 'Mi-chan,' right?" He averted his eyes. "Nee-chan always told me to treat girls gently, but you're on Byakuran's side... Ah, what would Nee-chan get mad at me for in this situation?"

Of course I had to come across Takeshi in the battlefield.

Tuono e Lampo.

He immediately blocked my incoming slash with Shigure Kintoki. As the clash of metal rung loudly, Takeshi stared back at me with bewilderment. "Sheesh, you're strong! You know, I feel like this is what a spar with Nee-chan would be like." He smiled sheepishly. "Sorry, I keep talking about Nee-chan but how are you supposed to know who she is? Haha!"

Sciame di Tuoni. I spun, releasing spinning waves of lightning in all directions. Takeshi dodged all the lightning waves at great speed, as if teleporting from one place to another.

He held his hand to his earpiece, and winced as if he was getting yelled at.

Having sent Misa and Zai out earlier to scout, they returned to my shoulders with the information they found. Tsuna was fighting Torikabuto, Gokudera with Kikyo. The two targets remained safe at their bases. Kojiro was in the air, spreading Rain Flames.

I held out my dual knives, stalling for time. Zai tightened his grip on my shoulders to catch my attention.

Boss, can you really do this? I can tell from your eyes... you do not see this human as your enemy.

Misa pecked my cheek. "MISA MISA!"

My grip tightened on my knives. I...

Suddenly I felt the tension thicken in the atmosphere, and I looked up to see Takeshi's expression had changed from being his usual happy-go-lucky state. But he wasn't angry... he was shocked.

"...Nee-chan?"

I flinched. Rather than answering, I threw my knives at him, which he dodged. I dashed behind him to grab my knives before they hit the floor and swung both towards his throat, to which he parried with his longsword. He used the three short-swords to draw him away from me once more.

"Is it really you, Nee-chan?!" He seemed reluctant to hold his sword out.

I dashed towards him, channeling Lightning Flames onto my knives. Fulmine di Fiamma. I switched my knives to the blunt edge before I hit Takeshi's side. Though he winced at the hit, he brought back his sword before swinging his sword into my side. We both jumped back.

He looked like he was about to burst into tears. "Why are you fighting for Byakuran, Nee-chan?! There's no way you would join on your own accord, you..."

"Oh please," I say for the first time. I smiled cynically. "Is it really so hard to believe? Which reminds me." I did a little twirl with my knives. "Remember that Genkishi guy? I got rid of him for you. Honestly, his life was so easy to take. It made me question your abilities a bit, Takeshi! You really lost to him?"

Takeshi's eyes went wide. "You... killed him?"

I analyzed my knife. "Are you surprised? How are you supposed to survive in this world if you haven't killed a single person? You act like it's the end of the world or something!" I tilted my head. "How about you retreat, and take me to the target? I'll let you survive since I've known you for so long."

He stared at me. I was still wearing my mask, which solely revealed my blood-red eyes, but it felt like he could see me. The trauma, the pain, the suffering I was experiencing inside. The terror I felt about disappointing everyone, the anxiety that increased the longer I stalled for time. Byakuran is watching all this on that damned monitor, he's going to use this to punish me by hurting my family-!

Then he opened his mouth.

"Your family is safe."

My blood ran cold. All at once, I felt immense rage build up. "I decide to spare you, and you lie to me?! You think I'm easy to manipulate, Takeshi?! Is that what you think?!" My bloodlust escaped, and I noticed Takeshi stiffen.

Still, he managed to speak. "Nee-chan, please! I don't want to fight you! You can still join our side again, Byakuran holds nothing against you-!"

I laughed, but there was no humor. "Me?" I jabbed my thumb to point at myself. "Join your side?! Would the infamous lawfully innocent Vongola really accept a murderer like me? A monster? Do you really take me for a fool?! You fucking bastards!" I pulled my mask off my face, throwing it towards his direction. "You really think I'm going to fall for that?!"

A few months ago, I was just a normal sixteen year old girl, working part-time at a sushi restaurant. My mother had passed away, but I was managing fine due to the help I received from my loving neighbors and monetary funds from the government.

Yet look at me now: holding knives aimed to kill, the boss of an assassination group, a murderer.

I felt tears stream down my face. My legs gave out and I collapsed onto my knees. Misa and Zai dissipated, my vision returning to normal and my knives clanging onto the floor beside me. "They're safe..." I sent a shaky smile to Takeshi, my adoptive little brother, the poor boy who was sucked into this world despite his will, just like me. "Say hi to Kyoya for me."

And then I blacked out.

so. to be concise, Nami had no one to turn to when she killed Genkishi, her first kill. that's why the subject was not expanded on last chapter, because she's a hostage. if she showed weakness, they have even more control over her. that's why she is like this now, in the presence of the very people she betrayed, the innocent fourteen year olds she was afraid of disappointing.

bit of a darker chapter, not gonna lie. this story was intended to be light-hearted, but once I had the idea of making her join Byaku's side as a hostage there was no going back.

hope you don't mind the tone shift too much? next few chapters will be a transition to the usual tone, but I'm not gonna immediately switch over.

characters are human. trauma is real. healing takes time.