House Of Cards
Apologies for lateness. The restaurant is open again and kitchen life is staking its hold on me once more...
Chapter Three
Her mothers ear, always primed to hear her daughters cries even in her sleep, woke her up. Only these cries were not her daughters, and Elizabeth was momentarily confused. Then she remembered Robert was across the hallway, sleeping in her guest room, and realised that the noises must be his. She quickly climbed out off bed and grabbed her robe.
Turning on the hallway light, she opened the door carefully and slipped inside the room. The hallway illuminated his shape just enough for her to see him writhing about, covered in a sheen of sweat, moaning incoherently. She went towards him just as he let out another cry; a cry, the like of which, she'd never heard before, nor ever wanted to ever hear again. "Robert?" she said, sitting down as gently as she could next to him. She placed a hand lightly on his shoulder, hoping not to startle him, but her touch seemed to have no impact whatsoever. She tried a heavier touch, and when that too, failed she shook him a little. "Robert…Robert, wake up...you need to wake up."
She continued to call his name and shake him until his eyes opened wide, and she found herself staring into fear stricken eyes. She started back a little, as suddenly he gasped for breath and sat upright, his right hand gripping his left arm where it had been severed by the helicopter blade. His eyes were glazed over, and his breathing becoming frantic. Worried he was going to hyper-ventilate, she pulled him gently towards her and wrapped her arms around him. "Shhh, it's okay, Robert," she said soothingly. "You need to breathe slowly….in and out, in and out." She let her hands draw reassuring circles over his back and shoulders, whilst she continued to whisper like a mantra 'in and out, in and out,' into his ear, breathing with him until at last he calmed and she felt him come back to her.
Robert's eyes slowly focused and he looked around at his strange surroundings. "Lizzie?"
"I'm right here. You were having a nightmare."
"Oh," he mumbled allowing himself to lean back into her warmth. "Sorry. Did I wake you?"
"I'm here aren't I?" she chuckled.
"Sorry," he groaned. "God, that's embarrassing. I didn't wake Ella up too, did I?"
"No, don't worry, she's out like a light," she said, slightly disarmed that he would even think of her. "And Robert, there's absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about."
When he didn't reply, she gently asked him. "I'm guessing its not your first?"
He shook his head against her shoulder. "No," he admitted. "Most nights, I'm lucky if I don't get one."
"What do you do? How do you handle it?"
"I just normally get up. Watch T.V or go for a walk."
"Right, well its the middle of the night, and Ella is fast asleep so neither of them is really going to work. What else?"
"Uhh, I dunno."
"How about a hot drink? Some tea? I have camomile?"
He pulled a face but she couldn't see it, so he said, "Maybe, some water?"
She smiled kindly and squeezed his hand. "Okay. I'll be right back."
She left to go get the water and when she returned Robert was laid back down, on his right side, a pillow beside him supporting his left arm. He sat up as she entered, and took the glass from her. He took a few tentative sips, and she noted that his hand was shaking slightly. He handed it back to her and laid down again. She looked at him lying there, vulnerable and exhausted, and her heart went out to him. Her eyes drifted to his left arm where the scar seemed to flame, angry and red. A deep bruise was forming around it and she remembered his earlier painful collision with Lily in the E.R. She knew it had really hurt him by his reaction at the time, but to see just how much, as it spread over his arm really drove home just how much pain the man was in, both physically and mentally.
"Any better?" she asked.
He closed his eyes and gave just the slightest shake of his head. "Not really."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
Robert just shook his head and she watched him withdraw into himself. She thought back to when she'd first heard about his accident. She was of course horrified, but she'd never actually given thought to the true horror of what it must have actually been like. He was clearly reliving that awful night, over and over again every time he slept.
"Have you ever spoken to anybody about the accident?"
He shook his head again, but looked at her.
"Do you think that maybe you should?"
His expression turned stony but she continued. "Maybe you should think about seeing a counsellor? Talking about it with a professional could help?"
"No," he snapped, then immediately cursed himself for his harsh tone.
"Oh," she said, and placed the glass on the bedside table.
He watched her movements carefully and sat up, reaching out a hand to hers. "Lizzie, I'm sorry...I just can't right now."
"It's okay," she said, but he felt the need to at least try and explain considering how good she'd been.
"It's just...the dream, the nightmare...it's so real...the sound is real, the smell is real and the pain...the pain is real," he said his voice hitching, his breathing quickening. "Its too much for me right now." He closed his eyes and swallowed.
She could hear the distress in his voice and squeezed his hand understanding. "It's okay, Robert." She sat down beside him keeping hold of his hand. "But, at least tell me what I can do. What will help?"
He opened his eyes relieved that she wasn't going to push him further and locked his gaze with hers. "Stay with me?" He asked in a voice so soft, she wasn't even sure it was his. "Please?"
His dark eyes pleaded with her blue ones and she saw him, as she'd never seen him before, utterly exposed and vulnerable. She noted his clothes lay neatly folded on the dresser. "Are you at least decent under there?" she asked, lifting the corner of the comforter a little.
He gave a small chuckle. "Do boxers count?"
She smiled and stood up, removing her dressing gown. "I guess they'll have to. Okay, scoot over," she said lifting the quilt as she slid under it.
He watched her gratefully, and obligingly shuffled over to give her more space. Elizabeth carefully removed the pillow supporting his left arm and gently lay it across her stomach.
"Is that better?" she asked.
He smiled sheepishly and nodded, watching her every move, but saying nothing. She could see the gratitude shining brightly in his eyes, threatening to spill over, and lifted her hand to gently cup his cheek. He closed his eyes, feeling himself relaxing into her touch and she let her thumb trace small circles up until she met the moisture that pooled in the corner of his eye. "We'll get you through this, Robert. I promise," she said and gently wiped it away.
He dared not open his eyes, for fear of falling apart, and he relaxed further as her hand slipped down to the base of his neck, caressing, calming and soothing him all at once. "Lizzie," he sighed.
"Yeah?"
"Thank you."
She touched her forehead to his. "You're welcome….now go to sleep."
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The painful throbbing in his arm after yesterdays collision in the trauma room, woke him early. Elizabeth lay fast asleep beside him, which he battled to get his head around; he couldn't believe how great she had been. He tried not to move so as not to disturb her but the pain in his arm was becoming too much to bear and he couldn't help but fidget and he felt her stirring.
"Hey," she said groggily.
"Sorry, did I wake you?"
"It's no problem. Are you okay?" she asked, reaching for the bedside lamp. Blinking, she turned back to look at him.
He brought his right hand up to shield his eyes at the sudden onslaught of light, and thought about toughing it out. As his eyes adjusted to the light he saw her concerned expression and considering he was more or less, already laid out bare, he allowed his features to reflect what he was feeling.
"You're in pain?"
He nodded slightly. "It's my arm. I banged it pretty bad yesterday."
"I remember. Can I get you something? I've got Advil in the cabinet?"
Right now he'd take anything. He nodded gratefully, and she climbed out off bed to get him the pills.
"What time is it?" he asked when she returned, sitting up, accepting the proffered pills with a drink of water. He swallowed them.
"Just after half past six."
"What time are you on?"
"Eight. You?"
"Same," he said, but he didn't really feel up to it. "Actually, I think I might just call in sick. My arm's really sore and I think I'm just going to go home."
She gave him the once over and agreed he did look tired, but she didn't like the defeated tone in his voice. "No, Robert, come in with me. Why not go and see Doctor Gunn, and have him take another look at your arm? Then take an admin day. You could even do some of my paperwork if you like?" she said cheekily.
"Lizzie, every day is an admin day these days," he said quietly, looking down and she could sense the melancholy coming off of him in droves.
"Well, I really don't like the idea of you sitting home alone all day, brooding...it's not healthy. Plus we could get lunch together? Please?"
He had to admit, touching base with Gunn after yesterdays mishap was probably a good idea, but lunch with Lizzie cemented it. He looked up and gave a small smile.
"So, you'll come in then?"
He nodded gratefully.
"Good," she said. "And on that note I guess we should start moving. I'm going to go and get Ella ready...there should be some clean towels in there," she said, nodding in the direction of the bathroom.
"Okay," he said. "Is Ella in day-care or is your babysitter coming?"
"She's in day-care all week….Kris is off for a few days."
"Oh," he said. When she made no move to leave he grinned. "Well, unless you want to see even more of me, you should go."
She shook her head and laughed, happy to hear him more like his old self. "Consider me gone," she said and left.
By the time she descended the stairs with Ella in her arms, her nostrils were assailed by a glorious smell. She walked into the kitchen to be greeted by the sight of Robert stood by the stove.
"Made yourself at home, I see."
He turned and gave her a sheepish smile, that revealed dimples she'd never really noticed before.
"Thought it was the least I could do, considering. There's fresh coffee in the pot, and eggs and toast on the way. As for the munchkin, I'm not really up to speed, so I mashed up some banana. I remember that's what my niece enjoyed around that age."
"Actually, that's just about spot on," she said, impressed. "I didn't know you had a niece. Where is your family?"
"Overseas," he said succinctly and she got the feeling not to press further. Instead, she filed the information away for later.
Elizabeth put Ella down in her high chair, then sat down and set about feeding her, and he placed a cup of coffee next to her, already creamed and sugared the way she liked it, she noted.
Just as she was finished with Ella, he served her a plate of scrambled eggs on toast, which she promptly tucked into.
He sat down opposite her with his own coffee and watched her eat. "Whoa there, Lizzie, you might want to slow down."
She swallowed a mouthful of eggs and wiped her mouth with a napkin. "Sorry, but these are really good."
"I'm surprised you can even taste them. Christ, my dog has better table manners!"
"Ha-ha," she said and shovelled another forkful into her mouth. She looked across and noticed he wasn't eating. "Where's yours?"
He shrugged. "I'm not really hungry."
"Robert, you need to eat something."
"Roasted java is all I need," he said taking a long slurp of coffee for effect.
She gave him a disapproving look and got up. Walking past him to the cabinet she retuned with another plate and cutlery. He watched as she pushed half the contents from her plate onto it and set it down in front of him.
He raised his eyebrow and smirked. "Still, not hungry."
She crossed her arms and scowled. "Robert."
"Yeees."
"Eat."
"Wobbuh Eet," Ella piped up trying to sound out the syllables like her mother had, and banged her sippy cup on the high chair for effect.
Robert laughed and nodded. "Okay Ella, but only 'cause you ask so nice." He picked up the fork and speared some eggs into his mouth. Ella beamed back at him and clapped her hands together.
He looked up at Elizabeth who still stood by him. "Happy now?"
"I will be when you finish it."
He rolled his eyes, but started eating. "Good boy," she said patting him playfully on his cheek before sitting back down.
"Gud boy," Ella copied, and they both smiled at her.
"So, you still have that big hound of yours, then?"
"Yes, and her name is Gretel."
"Gret-el," Ella said and Robert smiled at her again.
"Should we go by yours to feed her or something?"
Robert finished his coffee and shook his head. "No, its fine. Don't laugh, but I have a dog sitter called Diane. She comes by twice a day and feeds and walks her...with the hours we keep I can't guarantee getting home and its not fair on Gretel."
"Sounds perfectly plausible actually," she said and carried on eating.
"Elizabeth?"
"Hmm?" she said, taking a bite of toast.
"Look, erm about last night. I wanted to say thank you."
She looked up at him. "You already did, Robert.'
"Yeah, I know...but, you know, me being here… it must all be very weird and I kind of sprung all of this on you...and I really want you to know that I'm very, very grateful."
"Robert, it's fine...really."
"Please, just hear me out. I don't want you to be worried, or for us to have any crossed wires."
She reached across the table and took his hand. "I'm not, and I don't."
"So, we're okay?"
She gave him a smile that took his breath away. "I would say we are actually more okay than we have ever been...wouldn't you?"
He smiled at her and dipped his head. "I guess."
They finished the rest of the meal in affable silence.
Afterwards Robert cleaned up the kitchen while Elizabeth gathered Ella's things together. A car horn heralded the arrival of their cab, and when Ella lifted up her arms to Robert, he bent down and obliged as she scrambled up into his hold, and wrapped a chubby arm around his neck.
"She likes you," Elizabeth said.
"She's a smart kid," he said and headed out towards the waiting cab.
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The door to Robert's office flung open, and he looked up to see a very tired and frazzled looking Elizabeth enter.
"I know, I know," she gushed apologetically as he glanced at his watch and raised an eyebrow.
She glanced around quickly until her eyes landed on their intended target. Ella lay napping on the couch. She noted the open colouring books and crayons that lay sprawled out around her and wondered briefly where they'd come from.
He watched as she all but collapsed beside Ella as carefully as she could, trying not to disturb her. Leaning back into the couch, she absently played with Ella's hair, closed her eyes and yawned.
From the moment she'd dropped Ella off with day-care she'd not stopped. A multiple pile up had kept her in surgery all day, and she'd not had time to drink a coffee, never mind get away for lunch.
When day-care had called through to the O.R saying she needed to collect Ella, she was hands deep in her next patient, a young man who'd managed to get himself shot while attempting to rob a store. With Kris out of town for a few days, she'd had Shirley call several of her friends...none were available to help. As a last ditch attempt she'd asked to be put through to Robert's office. She remembered with embarrassment, the looks on Shirley and the others' faces as a clearly unhappy Romano reluctantly agreed to collect Ella and watch her until she could get out.
As Shirley had replaced the intercom phone, Elizabeth could clearly see the amused glint shining brightly in her eyes and knew she was smirking behind the mask. "Not one damn word!" Elizabeth had muttered before anyone could.
He watched as she took what was probably her first moment of peace since starting work. She ran a hand over her tired eyes then seemed to remember where she was. "God, that was a long day," she sighed. "I'm so sorry about ducking out on our lunch date, but I just couldn't get away."
"No need to apologise. Its not like I don't know the drill."
"Thank you so much for getting Ella for me. I really hated to put you in that situation, but I was desperate."
"Gee, thanks."
"I didn't mean it like that."
He held his hand up. "It's okay, Elizabeth, I'd be my last choice too, but I'm actually happy you felt you could ask. So, have you eaten anything since this morning?" he asked, changing the subject.
She shook her head and Robert got up from behind his desk.
"Figured they'd suck you into their vortex," he said carrying a paper bag with him. She cracked open an eye as he waved a sandwich under her nose. She sat up straight and snatched it from his hand tucking straight in.
He grinned as he watched her tear the wrapper off the sandwich and take a huge bite.
"Did you flunk finishing school or were your parents too tight to cough up for it?"
Elizabeth swallowed and stuck her tongue out at him.
"Charming," he quipped.
She took another large bite and looked around at the mess of crayons and open colouring books. "Where did all this come from?" she asked.
"Same place Ella came from."
"Oh? That was nice of them. Did you have any problems getting her?"
He smirked and shook his head.
She narrowed her eyes at him. "Please tell me you were nice?"
He raised an eyebrow.
"Fine. Please tell me you were at least polite."
"When am I ever not polite?" he said with mock innocence and reached back inside the paper bag, pulling out a can of soda. He waved it in front of her and she reached up and took it.
"Did you see Gunn?" she asked, noting his arm was immobilised and back in a sling.
He nodded.
"What did he say?"
"Exactly what I knew he would...rest it and take a painkiller."
"Well that's good."
"How is that good?"
"Because that's all he said, so no further damage done."
"That's one way to look at it."
"Its the only way to look at it," she said breezily. "You have to start thinking positively, Robert."
"Easy for you to say," he grumbled.
"What's that?" she said between bites of tuna mayonnaise.
"Nothing. I take it, you are all done saving people for the day?"
She nodded. "Absolutely. I just want to go home, have a bath and sleep."
"So you can do it all again tomorrow," he said ruefully.
She looked at him. "Is it the surgery you miss the most?"
"Yes," he said quietly. "I miss the thrill, call it what you will. I miss the sense of achievement, knowing that you've saved someone's life...that you've made a difference. I miss the knowledge that I've done something that no-one else could, and I miss...I miss working with you."
She smiled at him. "We did do great work together."
He smiled sadly.
"And we will again, Robert, I promise."
"Don't do that."
"Do what?"
"Don't make me promises you can't keep."
She placed the soda can on the table and reached out for his hand. "I'm sorry," she said.
"Don't be. Just be honest."
She looked up into his eyes and nodded. "That, I can do," she said and squeezed his hand.
"One other thing..."
"Yes?"
He looked ever so slightly awkward and she found it oddly charming. "Could you...maybe, help keep me grounded?"
She grinned at him. "You want me to keep Robert Rocket Romano grounded? Didn't you just make me promise not to make promises I can't keep?"
"Touché," he said returning the grin. "How about you try and keep me grounded to the best of your ability?"
"Challenge accepted," she said squeezing his hand just as Ella stirred, and rubbed her bleary eyes.
"Do you want to come back to mine again tonight?"
There was in fact nothing more in the world that he wanted, but instead he shook his head. "Thanks, but I don't want to leave Gretel for another night."
"Oh," she said, surprised by her own disappointment.
"I can however drop you two ladies home."
"Really?" she asked, brightened at the thought of escaping the EL once again. "I thought your precious jag wasn't child friendly?"
He shrugged. "My new best friend at day-care loaned me a car seat."
"But, they don't have car seats to loan?"
"They do now."
"But how?"
He released her hand and pointed at his name badge, still grinning. "Chief...Of...Staff."
"But...oh, never mind." She smiled at him, shaking her head bemused, and wondered just what kind of reception she would get tomorrow morning when she dropped her daughter off.
TBC