Elizabeth had begun to think that she was being punished. That she was perhaps being forced to do penance for her past wrongs – which she knew were numerous. It seemed a reasonable explanation. When she had desired nothing more than to neither converse with or even see Mr. Darcy she was constantly in his company. Now when she wanted very much to speak with him she had not so much as seen him for three days, not since their ill-fated walk in the gardens of Longbourn. To add insult to injury the one person whom she had seen most frequently was the persistent Mr. Collins. Mr. Darcy was nowhere, not in the sitting room with Mr. Bingley who came each day to hear news of Jane's recovery, not on the road between Netherfield and Longbourn where Elizabeth walked one morning in the vain hope he would do the same, not in Meryton where she had gone with her sisters to visit their Aunt Phillips. However, present at each of these moments was Mr. Collins. His presence as unwelcome and constant as Mr. Darcy's was desired and absent. And so by Thursday Elizabeth was nearly ready to run away from home. At least as long as Mr. Collins laid his head under its roof.
These were the thoughts that consumed Elizabeth as she sat with her mother and Jane, who was well enough to come below stairs for the first time. Mr. Collins was, of course, also with them and as Elizabeth considered her undesirable circumstances he was expounding on the wisdom and beneficence of the honorable Lady Catherine De Bourgh. He sprinkled his riveting bits of nothing about Lady Catherine with the occasional hint regarding the joy Elizabeth's imminent acquaintance with her ladyship would bring. Mrs. Bennet nearly squealed with delight at such evidence of his intentions. Jane looked uncomfortable, as she knew her sister's thoughts and feelings on the matter. Elizabeth was long past subtle eye rolls and demur subject changes. She was now courting disagreements with their guest and antagonizing him by design. During one such conversation where Mr. Collins had no notion of her meaning as he continued to smile on her in naïve oblivion Mrs. Bennet, well acquainted with her least favorite daughter's habits of verbal abuse, interupted.
"Elizabeth, you will excuse yourself immediately." She demanded. Mr. Collins seemed much surprised and Mrs. Bennet, not wanting to alert her future son-in-law to his intended's many flaws changed her tactic at once. "You must pardon our dear girl, Mr. Collins but we had forgotten that she is wanted by her father. He relies on her so much as you know. Quite a head for estate matters."
Elizabeth, who had never heard her interest in the well-being of Longbourn mentioned by her mother as anything but a burden sat momentarily stunned. Then, realizing both her mother's intent and her chance for escape Elizabeth quickly complied with the request that she leave the room. Did her mother realize she was giving Elizabeth exactly what she most desired in that moment? If so it must have galled her to do so even if it was necessary to preserve the fiction of her desirability as a wife for their vapid relation.
"Papa," Elizabeth said stepping quietly into her father's study. "Mama insisted I was needed by you for some matter regarding the estate."
Mr. Bennet raised his eyebrows and Elizabeth understood the look. Mrs. Bennet was not interested in estate business. Her only interest was in the business of marrying her daughters to the most eligible gentlemen she could find.
"Are you indicating you have no need of my assistance at this time?" she asked hopefully, already hearing the call of the outdoors.
"Off you go child." He answered with a fond smile. "But be sure you are back before dinner or your mother will have both our heads."
"Perhaps." Elizabeth agreed with an impish grin and quick embrace. "Or perhaps I will find a troop of gypsies who will take me in. If so I promise to write and tell you of my grand adventures."
With that she was out the door intent on enjoying both her freedom and the sunshine. There were still the looming questions of Mr. Collins' alleged regard and Mr. Darcy's unfavorable perception of her opinions but for now she would banish all thoughts of both gentlemen and simply be grateful for a few hours of peace and fresh air. However, as fate would have it only minutes in to her sojourn Elizabeth was interrupted by one of the very men she had intended to put from her mind.
"Miss Elizabeth," Mr. Darcy exclaimed in that shocked way he seemed to have when finding her in the very places she was most likely to be. In this case the lane beside her home.
"Mr. Darcy." She returned the greeting with equal surprise and, she couldn't help but note, considerably more pleasure. He certainly appeared in no way happy with their unexpected encounter. His mask was firmly in place and he already seemed poised to flee from her presence as soon as good manners would permit it. When he remained silent she asked, "are you on your way to call at Longbourn?"
"I rode here with Bingley who desired to call on Miss Bennet whose recovery we are pleased to learn is progressing. However, when we arrived I found I had no desire to be confined indoors on such a fine day and so begged to be excused."
Forgetting her desire to explain herself to him. Forgetting she was firmly in the wrong between the two of them at this point being behind one owed apology all Elizabeth could think of was that Mr. Darcy continued to be the proud disagreeable man who thought himself too far above the neighborhood in general and her family in particular to even bother paying a courtesy call on her ill sister.
"I understand that Longbourn and all its habitants are far from acceptable to you, but I would have thought that even the proud Mr. Darcy would be civil enough to pay his respects before escaping the undesirable company."
If Elizabeth had wanted to see Mr. Darcy without his mask her wish was granted, and then some. At first he looked concerned, then shocked and finally infuriated. It was odd to see a face usually devoid of emotion show so many so quickly.
After what felt like an eternity of looking at each other –Darcy clearly possessed by a righteous anger and Elizabeth equally so until she remembered that she misjudged this man before and had intended their next meeting to result in an apology.
"I apologize for intruding on your time, Miss Elizabeth." He said at last.
"Mr. Darcy," she called after he had turned to make his way, she presumed, to his horse and then Netherfield.
"It is I who owe you an apology." She said. Still bothered by his refusal to see her family Elizabeth forced herself to focus only on her own failings. They were after all the only ones she could remedy. His being a proud disagreeable man who occasionally demonstrated glimpses of compassion and feeling was not something she could change. "I should not have spoken to you as I did just now." Although she intended to continue Mr. Darcy forestalled the rest of her apology.
"I understand why you did." He said simply in that gentler voice she heard him use several times that day they walked together to Longbourn. "You believe I had rudely refused to pay my respects to your family because you rightly have a low opinion of me based on my earlier behavior. I had hoped we had reached a better understanding . . . but I realize I was mistaken."
The mask was gone and Elizabeth almost wished it was not. Mr. Darcy looked at her, for just a moment, with such naked vulnerability that she wondered how her opinion could cause such a state. She had no desire for such power over such a man and could not fully trust her perception of his expression as it came and went so quickly and was so at odds with most of what she knew about him. Most of what she knew, but not all. And if she desired to learn more about this Mr. Darcy who peaked out on occasion she would need to set the record straight.
"You were not mistaken, Mr. Darcy." Elizabeth replied, his mask had returned but he turned toward her as if waiting to hear more. This was sufficient encouragement. "I too had hoped that you and I had begun to build a better understanding but I realized that before we could do so I needed to apologize."
"But you have already done so."
"Not merely for my unkind words this morning." She responded.
"But though your reprimand was based on a false assumption I admire your willingness to support your family."
"False assumption?" Elizabeth asked, again distracted from the task she had set for herself.
"I had paid my respects to your family when Bingley and I first arrived." He began, surprising Elizabeth at the outset. "However, shortly thereafter your mother was needed by Mrs. Hill and she chose to take Mr. Collins with her. As your other sisters are from home this morning that left only myself, Mr. Bingley and Miss Bennet."
Embarrassment and understanding dawned and Elizabeth rushed to forestall any further explanation.
"I suppose if she could have contrived a way to remove you as well she would have." Elizabeth offered with a smile. "Once again I have been too quick to judge. I am not certain you and I can indeed be friends after all, Mr. Darcy as it seemed I am to be continually learning hard lessons at your hand. I am more accustomed to and more inclined toward being the teacher rather than the student."
"It was not my intention to teach you any lesson this morning or at any other time, Miss Elizabeth." Mr. Darcy responded earnestly. "I hope therefore that you will overlook this incident and choose to offer your friendship as it would most gratefully be accepted."
"I am afraid I cannot do that. Mr. Darcy," she said and then seeing his sober expression quickly added, "It would not do to forget a lesson so necessary to my own improvement. I have rushed to judgment far too often in your case and you seem far too quick to forgive this very serious fault."
"I must confess I have never been accused of being too quick to forgive." He replied gravely, but with a half-smile that showed, just barely, that small dimple she had discovered during one of their first earnest talks. As she looked at him and wondered how she could have missed, so completely his humor, kindness and genuine good looks which appeared so evident now as he gazed down at her Elizabeth took the arm he offered and determined to start anew.