For the heart I once had
Chapter 3
When Aalia stirred from sleep the next morning, she found herself warm and comfortably, snuggly wrapped up in Trowa's arms. She was still sleepy enough not to realize that he shouldn't be in bed with her, and snuggled into his chest once more.
But then realization sank in. She shot up and gazed down at him with wide eyes. Her movements woke him and he rolled onto his back, stretching lazily beneath the sheets.
"I… You… What… What are you doing here?" she stammered.
Trowa stifled a yawn behind his hand and pushed at his hair with the other. It took a while for him to answer her, which caused her agitation to rise.
"You were having a nightmare," he said, voice husky from sleep. "And the couch is not comfortable."
"You should have woken me," she told him, while fidgeting with the hem of her shirt.
"I tried." He sat up as well and reached out to rest his hand on her shoulder. "You wouldn't wake up and you were crying in your sleep."
"Oh…" Her eyebrows drew together in a frown. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be. You can't help this." The look he gave her was kind and settled the worry in her gut somewhat. "I held you until you calmed down."
"Thanks…" Mortification made color rise to her cheeks.
"I'm sorry," he murmured. "I didn't mean to startle you."
"I-it's fine…" she replied quietly. "It's just…" I never slept next to a man before.
The utter mortification following that thought made her blush once more. What must he think of her! She scooted back from him and propped her pillow up against the headboard. She leaned back against it and simply sat looking at him.
It once again occurred to her that he had grown into a beautiful man. One who had slept holding her… She cleared her throat.
"You were holding me."
"Was I?" His lips twitched and his eyes glinted with amusement.
"Yes."
He reached out and tugged on a lock of her hair. "We should get up. The sooner we hit the road, the sooner we'll be back."
"Ah, right." But she made no move to get up yet. "And then what?"
"I thought we'd head to the mall so you can buy some clothes."
She smiled and nodded. "That would be nice."
"Good. We'll have breakfast on the way."
-x-x-x-
Trowa was glad to plop down on the couch at the end of the day. In hindsight, it was comfortable. He groaned and sank into the cushions, throwing an arm over his eyes. He was never building Ikea furniture again.
Aalia seemed happy enough with the furniture they had bought. Alongside the bed, there had been a wardrobe and a nightstand, a bookcase and some other cabinets that she insisted she needed. At the time Trowa hadn't been able to phantom why she would need so much storage space for the meager items she had.
Until he took her to the mall. The allowance Quatre had given her was enough for her to buy a cellphone, a complete wardrobe full of clothes, toiletries and whatnot, and then there were the books. Heaps of them. Given the fact that she wasn't strong enough to carry all of her purchases herself, Trowa had been the one to carry the bags for her and he had caught other men at the mall giving him sympathetic looks.
"I want to hate you," he groaned when he heard her footsteps coming down the hallway.
She laughed at his disgruntled expression. "I wasn't that bad, was I?"
"Terrible."
She was grinning at him, her eyes sparkling with mirth. He was glad to see it there.
"I'll start on dinner soon," he said. "You can help me."
"Can I?" Her expression turned hopeful as she came to sit at the end of the couch. "You'll teach me how to cook?"
"I can make a decent meal, but I'd recommend cooking classes if you really want to be good at it," he said dryly.
"Oh! I could do that!" The excitement lit up her entire face.
It was almost endearing to see her realize she was free to make her own decisions. Her face had sported the same expression when they had shopped for furniture, and again at the mall, where she had just reveled at all the shops and the things she could buy.
At one of the stores he had texted Sally while Aalia had been trying on clothes. Sally had promised to drop by the next day to check on Aalia and to set up a plan for her.
For now she seemed fine, he thought. All the new experiences were keeping her spirits high. But once she was settled in, her demons would come to haunt her. And Trowa wasn't sure he was the right person to guide her during the confrontation. He'd support her. But he had his own demons to face, and he was sure he'd struggle alongside her.
He'd have to face his guilt again.
Razouli was going to pay dearly for what he had done. Trowa would make sure of that. But in the aftermath, he'd need someone to support Aalia. Someone who knew what they were doing.
-x-x-x-
Aalia looked up when the doorbell rang and felt her nerves increase as Trowa went to open the door. He had told her a doctor would be stopping by today to see her. Aalia wasn't sure if she liked it. Back in the plane, Trowa had suggested she'd see a therapist and she dreaded the very idea. She didn't want to think of the past few years. She didn't want to relive the memories and the horrors.
But Trowa had insisted that the doctor was nice. Sally, he had called her. He must know her well if they were on a first name basis.
"Trowa! It's good to see you!" The voice that came drifting from the hallway was warm and kind. "How are you?"
"Good." Trowa's tone warmed slightly. "You look good."
"Thanks." The smile was obvious in the woman's voice and she sounded pleased with the compliment.
An unpleasant feeling made Aalia's stomach turn. Their footsteps came towards the living room and she steeled herself.
Her breath left her lungs in a rush when she got her first good look at the doctor. She was tall and curvy and gorgeous, and very, very pregnant. She came to a halt when she noticed Aalia sitting in the arm chair with a book, and a warm smile formed on her face. It put Aalia at ease immediately.
She rose from the chair and extended her hand towards the other woman. "It's nice to meet you. I'm Aalia."
"Sally Po." She firmly shook Aalia's hand and sank down onto the couch. "Trowa told me you need a dietary plan and some exercises that help strengthening your muscles."
Aalia was glad she didn't mention therapy yet, and beamed a smile at her. "Yes. I want to get stronger."
"Very well." Sally pulled a notebook from her bag and opened it. "Let's figure this out."
It was quite a few hours later when Sally left the apartment. She had set up a detailed dietary and exercise plan for Aalia, instructing her to start easy by taking walks on a daily basis. From there on she could build up towards a work out.
Aalia was smiling when Trowa came walking into the living room from the kitchen, carrying two steaming mugs with him. He handed her the one that contained tea and sat down next to her.
"I like Sally," she said. "She's nice."
"That she is," Trowa agreed. "So… want to go out for a walk tomorrow after dinner?"
"Sure!" Her smile was wide and beaming.
Trowa suspected her mood was so good because Sally had been so smart to steer clear of the therapy subject for now. But it was painstakingly clear that Aalia needed it. During the night she had suffered from nightmares again, and it had been so severe that she had ended up crawling into his bed in the middle of the night. Trowa had found himself not minding it. It was rather calming to be next to her, to know she was able to sleep peacefully as he held her. His gut had twisted at the sight of her tear stained cheeks and terror filled eyes. It had made rage simmer. He had felt an almost unstoppable urge hurt Razouli, make the monster wish he had never been born.
"I have to be at work until five. Will you be okay on your own?"
"I can call you if something comes up right?" she said. "You don't have to worry about me."
"Just use the time to rest and eat."
"I was planning on that." She smiled around the rim of her mug.
"Sally gave me a list of supplements that you have to start taking. I'll pick them up on my way from work."
"Thanks." She reached out and curled her fingers around his. "For everything."
Her touch sent a warm feeling coursing through his veins and he found himself having to clear his throat before he could speak again. "You're welcome."
-x-x-x-
It was well past midnight when Trowa woke up from the soft footsteps in the hallway. The next moment there was a timid knock on his door. "Trowa?"
The terror in her voice made the hairs on the back of his neck rise up. "Come on in."
Aalia opened the door and came sailing into the room, sobbing with panic. Trowa found himself flat on his back with her wailing into his chest the next moment.
"I'm sorry," she sobbed helplessly.
He wrapped her up in his arms and held her, smoothing a hand over her hair in a gentle caress. "It's okay."
"I try, but the nightmares…" She wiped at her cheeks and hiccuped. "Maybe you're right about the therapy."
"Shh… We'll talk about that tomorrow." He grabbed hold of the sheets and held them up for her so she could crawl underneath them.
Aalia was quick to do so and snuggled up against him. The warmth of her body seeped into his and Trowa desperately tried to ignore the tightening in his gut. She was Quatre's sister, he told himself sternly. He was not going to lust after her. Quatre was going to have his head if he found out that Trowa allowed his sister to sleep in his bed, even if it was for purely innocent reasons.
But were they really innocent? Trowa wondered as he lay staring up at the ceiling, long after Aalia had fallen asleep. He found himself rather liking having her next to him like this.
He was being ridiculous. He was going to set her up with a therapist so she could sleep through the night in her own bed. And he would keep his fucking hands to himself.
- End chapter 3 -