A/N: Hey ya'll, thank you so much for the reviews! I love the feedback. Just a reminder that this is a more realistic, introspective modern AU so it won't have too much action/drama. This is a slow burn self-love story but it will get more lemon-y I promise. Next chapter is Kataang fluff.
Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar: The Last Airbender
The red, yellow, and orange leaves swayed and fell onto the ground amidst the crisp, autumn breeze. September had come and gone, making way for October, the month of Aang's birth. The tall airbender put the hood of his orange, hoodie over his head as he walked to his car in the school parking lot. In 10 days he would be 17 and his mind started to play about all the events of the past year like a depressing movie. He wanted to ball up everything that happened to him since he turned 16 and set it on fire. Death, loneliness, and humiliation all to be burned away and never mentioned again. On the positive side, he did have a solid group of friends for the first time since being announced as the Avatar. They were the only thing in his life making the mixture of sympathetic and dirty looks from the rest of the school manageable.
Since the embarrassing party, he can't walk around school hallways or classrooms without getting a sea of pity from people. This pity wasn't limited to other students unfortunately, as even teachers or other adults would look at him like he was a lost puppy. He hated the looks and everyone that thought of him as some broken toy. "Maybe I'm just projecting?", he asked himself. That's a word he's been saying a lot since he started therapy a few weeks ago. He wasn't sure if other people really felt that way about him or if he felt like something unable to be fixed.
As Aang drove speedily out of the parking lot, he put on a playlist made for him by Katara. He smiled and bit his lip at the thought of the gorgeous waterbender. It's been 4 weeks since Zuko's party where he had a panic attack in front of everyone. He groaned and became uneasy thinking about that incident. He resigned himself to never being normal. The kindness bestowed by his friends that night is something he will never forget. Sokka hugged him and explained his personal struggle with loss. After that night, Aang had become pretty close with Sokka, and for that he was grateful. They were as close as brothers now. He even got a reprieve from Toph's jokes for the rest of that night, only to resume the next day with her "fancy dancer" and "Twinkle toes" names yelled at him. He didn't take it personal and actually loved that Toph still made fun of him, it made him feel less fragile. Zuko was nothing short of apologetic on behalf of his sister, and made a point to ask how Aang was doing a few times a week. Aang always reminded Zuko that it wasn't his fault and thanked him standing up against Azula.
Although he had not seen Suki very often since she was homeschooled, they had found time to talk when everyone got together on the weekends. Suki was very connected to Aang's past life, Avatar Kyoshi, as well as training in the Kyoshi warrior fighting style. The two would spend long periods of time discussing spirituality, justice, and the art of war. And then of course there was Katara. He was forever appreciative that she was okay taking things slow. The last thing he wanted was to jump into a relationship and mess everything up. "How could anyone want to be with me now, I'm a basket case," he pondered. Any alone time they had spent together was platonic, which consisted of watching movies or practicing waterbending at the lake. By all accounts, their relationship status was still friends. He hasn't said anything to her about what she means to him and she didn't push the issue. He thanked her in his mind as he parked at his therapist's office, indebted for her therapy recommendation.
"Hi Aang, great to see you. Come on in," Ms. Wu said as she motioned for him to follow her to her office door. Aang smiled as he walked past the crystals and essential oil diffuser in the waiting room. The hallway smelled of orange and the soothing sounds of a waterfall could be heard throughout the entire building. He liked Ms. Wu, mostly because she believed in meditating, which was a rare quality among non-air nomads. The room was filled with comfy furniture of all shapes and sizes. There were scattered art materials and snacks on a few coffee tables. He sat on a big, green chair and began to doodle on some paper. Ms. Wu believed in encouraging freedom of choice in session with no pressure to talk. After a few minutes, Aang decided to finally speak, "So, I think I want to ask Katara out on a date, but.." His eyes continued to look down where he was coloring. He took a deep breath and looked at Ms. Wu, "I'm worried I'll mess it up. I have never been with a girl and I still can't think about my parents without having a panic attack. She deserves better than that."
Ms. Wu had a neutral affect while she sipped her tea and wondered, "Aang, first of all, you've come so far in such a short amount of time. Your panic attacks are less debilitating now. Secondly, everyone processes grief and trauma in different ways. You might not be able to talk about it for awhile and that's perfectly normal." Aang's lips upturned slightly and sighed. Ms. Wu continued, "I am curious, what do you think Katara deserves that you don't have?" Aang furrowed his brow in thought, he had never considered this question before. He began to ramble, "Well, Katara should be with someone caring and understanding. Someone who has their shit together. They need to be funny because she loves to laugh, even though she tries to hide it. Katara thinks she needs to take care of everyone and be the serious adult, but she needs to laugh and have fun sometimes, too. She needs someone calm because she can get..uh...passionate about things she feels strongly about. She needs someone that won't fall apart out in public."
"Ah," Ms. Wu said with a knowing look, "You said 'falling apart'. Why is that a bad thing?" Again, Aang was challenged about something he figured was common sense. He replied, "It's bad because she needs someone strong. Is she gonna want to say, 'Hey, Dad, this is my boyfriend, he might pass out at dinner if you ask him too many questions?' I couldn't protect my parents and I can't stop these panic attacks from happening. How can I protect her?" Aang had a confused look on his face as he realized the connection he had just made. Ms. Wu attempted to build a discrepancy in Aang's thinking, "I hear that you are not good enough for Katara because she needs someone strong, which you say you are not. I think you are very strong. To have so many surprises, loss, and changes happen to you in such a short amount of time is hard. Your identity and the idea of who you thought you were or who you would be is forever changed. That's not easy on anyone. But here you are, still fighting for life, still trying to be the best you can be. That seems like a strong person to me."
Aang felt himself smile against his better judgement. He hadn't considered the fact that he didn't give up hope or caring for others as a strength. "I guess you're right. Also, she is a badass waterbender and fighter, she really doesn't need anyone to protect her. Ugh, I'm a dumb idiot," he groaned with his head in his hands. "Aang, remember to talk about yourself without judgement," she stated. Aang lifted his head to look at his therapist, "Okay, yeah, sorry. Um, I made a mistake and that's okay." She nodded with a warm smile and asked, "Good. So, what do you want to happen next with Katara?" He rubbed hands together in his lap while responding, "Well, I definitely want to date her, and if it goes well, ask her to be my girlfriend. I don't know if I'm ready to talk about my parents with her yet. Isn't that something people in relationships do, talk about their feelings?" Ms. Wu sustained a warm smile, "It is, but you're not in a relationship yet. This is still new. From what you've told me, Katara has also grieved. I don't think she would pressure you to talk about it before you're ready. I do think you should communicate that with her, though." Aang agreed with Ms. Wu and spent the rest of the session playing cards and talking about Gyatso's fetish for the color orange.
Aang was smiling as he began walking to his car, feet barely touching the ground. He needed to ask Katara out sooner rather than later. When he checked his phone he saw a text from Sokka.
Sokka: Down for wrestling and pizza at my house? I'll even let you get veggies on your side of the pie.
He chuckled both at his meat-loving friend and the fatefulness of the universe bringing him to Katara's house tonight. He texted back, "Sure, anything to keep you from eating most of the pizza." His stomach flipped at the realization that Katara would definitely be there and he would get to finally ask her out. He texted her to make sure.
Aang: Hey, Sokka invited me over tonight. You gonna be there?
He began to drive and his heart rate increased at this prospect. Excitement flooded his senses and it took everything inside him to steady himself and pay attention to the road. When he arrived at home, he looked to see a text from his goddess.
Katara: I'm always here! Lmao. Can't wait to see you.
Aang bended high into the air as he exited his car. He ran into his house with a big grin on his face. He had enough time to shower and change before heading over to the twins' house. Gyatso noticed the tall, orange blur with a crooked smile waving quickly at him before running upstairs. Gyatso sighed in relief at seeing him finally happy after so many months of sadness and anxiety. He shook his head and laughed, "Oh, to be young and in love."
After drying off from his shower, Aang put on his brown pants, fitted orange shirt, and white beanie. He quickly ran downstairs and flew out the front door with a quick goodbye to Gyatso. He shortly arrived and took a quick breath to try to stay as aloof as possible. He knocked on the door to be greeted by Sokka in a haughty, dramatic accent, "Ohhhh, Avatar Aang, how do you go on?" He bowed deeply with a grin on his face. Aang returned the exchange in a similar fake, snooty tone, "A pleasure as always, Sokka of the Southern Water Tribe." The two friends alternated between exaggerated bows until Katara came into the living room. "Ugh, I swear you guys share one brain cell when you get together!" Aang and Sokka laughed at each other and made their way to the couch.
Aang froze mid stride as he saw Katara sitting on the couch. Her chocolate brown hair was loose and fell against her shoulders. She was wearing blue skinny jeans and a white tank top. He tried not to stare at her cleavage and quickly averted his eyes to Sokka. The redness in his face had gone unnoticed by Sokka, but not Katara. She got exactly the reaction she had hoped for. Aang flopped in between the twins as they all began to reach for pizza. Katara noticed Aang out of the corner of her eye. He was blushing and looked like he was concentrating hard on eating the pizza. She smirked as she sipped her soda, delighting in the effect she had on him.
During the commercial, Sokka loudly declared, "Man, five slices of pizza! I'm gotta hit up the bathroom. Food was good but duty calls," he patted his stomach as he stood up, "You get, it? DUTY calls? Because duty sounds like-" Aang's laugh was overshadowed by Katara rolling her eyes. "We get it, Sokka!", Katara yelled.
"Sis, no offense, but you don't appreciate comedy. I'll be back," he said with an eye roll. Aang's heart thumped loudly in his chest. "I need to do this now, come one, you can do this," he coached himself. After a shaky exhale, he turned to Katara. "Hey Katara, um..well..," he nervously rubbed the back of his neck as his cheek flushed pink. She smiled warmly at how adorable he was, trying to not get too excited. Aang continued, "See..I was wondering if...and you don't have to answer now...but, did you want to go out with me this weekend? Like a date?" Silence hung in the air for a moment. Aang ducked and went to apologize but Katara stopped him before he had the chance. "Sure! What did you have in mind?"
"You would? I mean, that's great! I was thinking, maybe go to dinner?", he asked shyly. Trying to hide her blushing cheeks but failing, Katara answered, "That sounds great. We can figure it out tomorrow. I'm looking forward to it." She placed her hand on his thigh and leaned in to give him a kiss on the cheek. He laid his hand on top of hers and rubbed his thumb against the top of her hand. He couldn't believe how soft her skin was. Aang began to slowly lean into her. She felt a pull towards him as their eyes met.
As their lips were a mere inches away, heavy footsteps could be heard heading towards the living room. They were abruptly stopped by Sokka walking back to the living room. The blushing pair became stiff as an awkward tension permeated the room. Sokka took his seat at the couch and turned to Aang, "What'd I miss?" Aang and Katara's red faces somehow went right over Sokka's head. Aang, entirely grateful for his friend's obliviousness, replied, "Nothing much, you'll soon find out." Sokka looked between his friend and his sister, feeling the vibe kind of weird, but couldn't put his finger on it. "Maybe Aang actually made his move," he thought. He decided he would give them a break and opted for his facade of cluelessness, "Hmm okay, you guys are weird." Katara and Aang simultaneously breathed a sigh of relief. The airbender was worried that he had messed up by being too forward, but saw out of the corner of his eye Katara giving a flirtatious smile."Yes! We did it brain. Now we have to plan the perfect date," he thought as tension melted from his body.