A/N: Wow, I'm so happy to see that you all liked the last chapter. I'm glad Katara's response and Aang's coma resolved in a way that resonated with everyone. Sorry for the delay, busy week, but Unwavering Heart should be finished soon so I can updated this fic more frequently.
Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar: The Last Airbender
Empty, never-ending blackness. Can't make a sound. Time always was and always would be. No awareness and no consciousness. Blinding light burst through the darkness, sending a jolt of electricity to his heart. Worried blue eyes belonging to a tan girl with flowing brown hair crying out, "Aang!" "Katara!" I shout but she can't hear me. The girl fades away as his name echoes in his mind. A blip of life before darkness spreads again. Everything returns to black.
The steady beeping of the medical equipment fills his mind as he startles awake. Grey eyes slowly opening to the sterile, white room around him. He tries to move his limbs but is met with resistance. Panic sets in as he squints at the fluorescent lights and bare white walls. His breathing quickens as he scans the room for any sign of familiarity. His head turns to the right in excruciating pain. The girl fumbling through her back seems familiar. Instantly he recognizes her. He struggles to speak but nothing comes out of his mouth. After a few minutes, his vocal chords finally vibrate together and utter a weak sound. "Katara?"
Aang's heart fluttered as he saw her turn around, an ecstatic look upon her face. He was so relieved to see her, his waterbender. Something seemed wrong about her as she came close to him in a blur. She looked haggard. The love present in her hug and kiss was brief before pain shot through his entire body. "Oww," he managed to murmur. As she pulled back, apologizing for nearly crushing him, his heart sank. She was not only thin but looked frail, as if she could collapse at any minute from the weight of her joints. Dark circles plastered under her eyes made me feel sick. "Something bad happened," he thought.
His belief was unfortunately confirmed after searching his mind. He knew what had happened but asked Katara to fill in the blanks of how he ended up in the hospital. He couldn't be sure, but he thought he died briefly. After hearing everything she told him, the set up planted in the email and his coma, the familiar weight of shame came crashing down on him. He had to look away from her. His mind began to race. "I did this to her. I let her down. I let everyone down. I should've checked with the White Lotus. I'm a failure". Aang swallowed hard as he sank further into self pity. The gentle squeeze he felt on his hand returned his thoughts to the room. She always brought him back.
With all of his energy, he squeezed her hand back. He couldn't protect her, or even protect himself, but he could let her know he loved her. The shock of everything he was told slowly fell away as he laughed at Katara telling him about Sokka being jealous of his beard. The lightheartedness was replaced with more shame. "Poor Sokka. My friends fought for me and I let them down. I need to set this right," he thought. A surge of energy flowed through Aang in this instance. No longer feeling despondent, he was now enraged.
"Where's Ozai?" is all Aang could think to ask at this moment. His question was met with confusion and stuttering from Katara. "Uh, well, no one really knows. White Lotus is tracking Zhao but so far..nothing." He felt his strength coming back to his muscles as he vigorously shook his head. "No! No, we have to find him. I have to find him. I need to fight him!" Aang was trying to push himself off the bed but was met with numb limbs that wouldn't listen to his command. "Katara, I need to go! I need to get up!" She reached out her hands and placed them on his shoulders trying to calm him down. Talking through tearful eyes, "Aang, you will find him but you're injured and we don't know where he is."
"NO! Let me go, Katara," he yelled as he shook her hand away. The monitors were beeping rapidly as Aang clenched his jaw, using every last ounce of strength to try to move his body. A nurse ran into the room suddenly, "Mr. Bensen, you need to remain still. You're still seriously injured!" Aang arched his back as he winced in pain, turning his head from side to side. His yells quickly turned into sobs. He leaned his head back on his pillow, crying as tears rolled down his cheeks. Rest was imminent as the drip of the morphine took control of his muscles. His chest heaved slower and slower until his breathing returned to normal. He was no longer angry or sad. He blinked as he looked at a scared Katara who was pushed aside by the nurse. She was standing a few feet away from him full of emotion while he laid in his hospital bed physically and emotionally numb.
A few days following Aang's awakening, he was discreetly and safely moved into a room in the White Lotus had overheard a doctor telling Gyatso that his emotions might be unstable for a few weeks due to the long amount of time with low brain activity. Aang had seen Katara a handful of times since he woke up, but she never stayed long as their conversations consisted of him not talking to her much before asking to be left alone. He knew this wasn't fair to her but seeing what happened to her because of his impulsiveness hurt even more. He felt like his emotions weren't his own and he couldn't control himself like he used to. Whenever Katara, or anyone came to visit, it was like a painful reminder of his loss staring him back in the face.
One week after he woke up, Katara brought Toph, Sokka, Suki up to Aang's room. Toph had not visited Aang since he woke up and could not hide her reaction when she entered his room. Even on this sunny summer day, Aang had blackout drapes preventing most of the natural sunlight from escaping into his room. Although she could not see the darkness of the room, Toph felt the maligned energy and sadness permeating Aang's being. "Man, this is really bleak Twinkle Toes. Are you okay?" Aang turned his wheelchair around to face his friends, furrowing his brow at the earthbender. "I'm fine," he spat.
Sokka took it upon himself to try to lighten the mood. He coughed as he presented an oblong box to Aang. "Go on, open it!" His cheery demeanor was met with a cranky response, "Put it in the corner." Sokka refused to give up, "Come on, man! It's a telescope so you can pass the time until you get your cast off. You know, to complete the Rear Window vibe going on in here?" Sokka grinned waiting for his friend to speak. A few moments passed before Aang looked at him confused and asked, "What's Rear Window?" Sokka laughed, "Oh man, you don't know? Someone help me out here," he gestured his arms wide open to his friends surrounding him. When silence and murmurs of "what" could be heard, Sokka pressed on. "Come on, guys! Rear Window! The movie about the guy in a leg cast that has a telescope and catches his neighbor murdering people? No?"
Suki chuckled at this display of humor but was the only one. Katara rolled her eyes, crossing her arms as she narrowed her eyes. Toph just stood in a confused state, "The idea of a telescope is lost on me, but nice try, Snoozles." Aang continued to stare at Sokka with a blank expression, "Uh, thanks, Sokka. Glad you think I possibly have murderous neighbors here." Sokka beamed without missing a beat, "I know, right? Creepy, old rich people in these mansions have to be doing some illegal shit. You can thank me later!" Aang's expression remained flat as he turned his chair away from the group, looking back towards the drapes.
The group stood awkwardly in the room for another half hour before deciding that this attempt at hanging out was unsuccessful. Katara motioned to her friends that she would stay with Aang a little more. "Katara, I'm fine, you can go, too," the airbender spoke in a soft voice as he stared at his draped window. Katara closed the door and walked over to her boyfriend, crouching by his side. "No, I'm not leaving you. You may think that you have to take on all of this by yourself, but you're wrong. The world needs you but don't you see that we need you, I need you. I love you, Aang, please don't shut me out."
Aang remained still, not meeting her eyes, "I'm really tired, Katara. You should go." The coldness in his voice broke her heart. She had hoped after a few days he would be better, but he's not. If anything, she told herself, he seemed to be getting worse. She rose to her feet and spoke in a soft, firm voice, "Okay". Turning her back to him as she walked out of the room, closing the door behind her.
Aang sat in his wheelchair for at least an hour, blinking as emptiness took over his mind. The buzzing of his phone was nothing but white noise to him now. All he could think about was how he let Katara and the whole world down. His body was still so broken and he can't protect anyone right now. "Useless," is what he told himself over and over. A knock at the door shook him from his self-pity. He didn't answer in the hopes that the person would go away. He was wrong. The door creaked open and revealed someone so familiar yet it had felt like years since Aang had seen them. "Zuko?"
"Hey, Aang, long time no see."
Aang's face contorted in a confused expression at the sight of his friend. There was an unknown feeling in his body at this moment. The last time Aang had talked to Zuko was the night of his defeat. As far as Aang remembers, Zuko had not reached out or tried to visit him since he woke up. He wondered if his friend was still mad, or even worse, disappointed. "Uh, yeah, it's been awhile."
Zuko closed the door and walked to the middle of the room where Aang was sitting. The two looked around the room as the tense silence hung in the air. Zuko cleared his throat "So, how have you been?" Aang was a little relieved by the surface level question. He told the young firebender about the aches, pains, memory loss, mood swings, guilt, and helplessness he has been feeling. Aang described how he feels these all at once, all of the time, which is excruciating and unrelenting.
Zuko nodded before stating, "I can't imagine, I'd be feeling that way too. I'm sorry you're going through all that. I wanted to apologize for how I talked to you that night. I think staying inside and hiding, while I saw you out having fun, was making me jealous. And then after I heard that you were in a coma, I felt so guilty. I still feel guilty that this happened to you. It took me three weeks to even come visit you. Katara ripped me a new one, which I deserved."
Aang's eyes widened at all of this new information. He had no idea Zuko felt so guilty and that Katara had gotten angry with him. "Really? Katara did that?" Zuko half-smiled and chuckled before answering, "Yeah, I mean, I don't blame her. She and everyone else was there for you after it happened, but not me. I saw the toll it took on her to be at your side every day. To be there day in day out, seeing the person you love in that way, not knowing if they would make it? She's a stronger person than I can ever be."
Aang's face became pained as Zuko talked to him. He chided himself for being so selfish. Of course he didn't think about what this would do to her. He felt sick to think about her worrying for months only to be pushed away by him. Finally finding his voice, he looked at Zuko with sadness, "She is stronger than anyone I know. I'm so lucky to have her."
Aang and Zuko talked for another hour about their own insecurities and anger towards Ozai. Aang felt energized by the information that Zuko had possible locations for Zhao. While this news was great, Aang knew he needed to apologize to Katara. Aang thanked Zuko for coming. They hugged tightly before Zuko pulled away, leaving Aang to his thoughts and walking out. Immediately, Aang pulled out his phone to call Katara. To his relief, she answered, but he could hear the hurt in her voice.
"Hello," Katara spoke curtly into the phone.
"Hi, Katara, it's so great to hear your voice. I wanted to apologize earlier. You didn't deserve that."
Aang heard silence on the phone before asking, "Katara, are you there?"
She sighed, "Yeah, I'm here."
Aang's stomach twisted in knots but he pressed on. "Okay. Yeah, so, I'm really sorry about how I've been the past week. I guess I'm still in shock and embarrassed. The doctor said my emotions could be all over the place for a while, but that doesn't excuse me pushing you away. I should've listened to you. You do so much for me but all I could think about was myself," he began to talk through stifled sobs, " I hope you can forgive me. I love you."
A few moments of silence passed before Katara spoke, "Aang, I love you, too. And I forgive you, but you need to forgive yourself. Can you do that?"
The surprise that overtook Aang caused him to stutter as his sobs lessened. "I, um...yeah, I think so. It's just so hard, I feel like everything is resting on me."
Katara's voice became softer, "I won't doubt that it's hard being the Avatar, but you don't have to go through it alone."
Aang paused briefly before speaking, "Thank you, Katara. And I'm sorry you had to go through the last couple of months without me. Zuko told me how you took care of me. It reminded me of what we mean to each other. You're the love of my life and I want you to be a part of it."
Aang could hear a joyful hum in her voice, filling him with warmth. She reminded him, "I'll always be there for you, Aang. You just need to remember it. Now, can I come over so I can see my boyfriend?"
Aang beamed, "Yes! Please, I want you to come over. I'll let Iroh know."
He ended the call, a dazed look spreading across his face. He wheeled to his window, pushing the heavy, dark drapes to the edges of the window. The sun filtered through the glass window, filling the room with light and warmth for the first time since he moved in. He looked outside and smiled at the fluffy, white clouds in the sky. The hope that he would soon be in the air and free was within his reach.
