Trigger warnings: vomiting, depiction of war-torn battlefields, OC Character death, reference to PTSD
A/N: The number of soldiers for this battle was based on the brief flashback clip from 2x06 - "Heart of Titan", then finding out each flag piece meant 500 soldiers in 3x04 - "The Midnight Dessert".
Walking back into the fortress of the Standing Battalion, Corvus could feel something was off. There were notably fewer people in the bailey and walking along the battlements. Still, Corvus stayed focused and headed straight for General Amaya's office to give his full report on this past mission.
"General Amaya." Corvus said sternly as he saluted, bringing his fist to his heart.
The general smiled at him, "C-o-r-v-u-s." She spelled out his name with a small smile. "How did the mission go?" He translated in his head slowly. It'd been about a month and a half since he started taking Gren's recruit level class where he learned the alphabet, and some key words. Thankfully, after each class Gren pulled him to the side to teach him specific words and phrases he was likely to encounter more than the average recruit. "Mission" was definitely one of those words.
"Very well," he nodded and started to look around. He appreciated the general signing slower for him, but he was used to a certain freckled lieutenant commander acting as her voice… But not today?
General Amaya smiled, "G-r-e-n is not here today." She paused, "Translator?" She signed, her expression conveying it was a question but a small grin on her face telling him that she was not offended.
"No, no need." He blushed, still feeling a little embarrassed despite her assurances, "Thank you for going slow, I'm still learning."
"I know." She grinned.
Corvus relaxed a little at that. He would never want to let his general down. "I will continue with my report then…"
"Yes, thank you." She signed.
Corvus continued recounting his covert mission on the Xadia side. He showed General Amaya the rough maps he drew regarding the locations of the Sunfire elves, how Thunder's flying route had stayed consistent, and that further research was still needed on the Moonshadow elves' location.
General Amaya studied the charts, and nodded. "Good. Thanks." She smiled, "I will think on this." She signed slowly, "Return tomorrow for another briefing."
Corvus nodded.
"Dismissed." She signed, and Corvus nodded again, but hesitated before he left.
"Umm… General Amaya, if I may be so bold as to ask, where is Commander Gren?"
General Amaya raised an eyebrow.
Corvus paused, was that too bold to ask? Corvus knew he and Gren weren't especially close but he thought they were…well, friendly towards each other. The commander did ask him to just call him by his first name...so that was something, right? Scratch that, it was too bold to ask - much too personal.
"Are you friends?" General Amaya asked.
Corvus looked away and hesitated, "My apologies, it was too personal to ask. We've had some friendly conversations is all, but I don't think you could call us officially friends."
General Amaya nodded in understanding, then a light seemed to go off in her head. "C-h-a-n-g-e t-o-p-i-c-s." She signed then gestured to a paper on her desk, "Check the calendar."
Corvus leaned in closer, was today an important date? He looked, oh, it was that day in June…
General Amaya looked at him with knowing eyes, "Your mother… she served, right?"
"Yes. Thank you for your understanding. I will write to her."
General Amaya nodded and placed a hand on Corvus' shoulder in solidarity before letting him leave.
It was the 4th anniversary of the most recent Battle of the Breach.
Gren spent the day at the Xadian outpost with another cluster of soldiers. A priest had been sent to the Breach earlier this week, and prayers and ceremonies to remember the dead had started two days ago. Gren never felt like he needed to be part of the first two remembrance groups. The third day of remembrance served him better and felt more personal, since that was the day his older sister had died.
The Battle of the Breach.
Gren was no tactician, but he contemplated the battle in some capacity a few times a month, and more-so when the anniversary approached. Considering the year's worth of prep leading up to it, the battle itself was swift, the retreat hasty, and in hindsight, it was evident that the higher levels knew there would be a high blood cost. So many questions lingered, though: why summer? The days were longer. Why not winter, when the nights were longer and provided more cover so more troops could get into Xadia?
He already knew the answers: in the winter there would be difficulties in mobilizing needed weaponry for the size of attack that was planned. Food was more plentiful during the summer and made for a stronger army. Lastly, the longer days meant that Thunder patrolled the skies for longer, and the shorter nights meant that he might not be fully rested. At least, these were the reasons he was initially told as an Aide-de-Camp when he first enlisted, and Gren found himself repeating those reasons to himself to try to bring some semblance of certainty that there was no other way – this was unavoidable, the deaths had to happen and they meant something.
Thankfully, Gren's battalion never found themselves on the Xadian side during that battle, but Gren did. He was pulled out of his battalion and found himself next to people of status and power he would have never imagined being near, and he could still recall the breakdown of the plans:
Day 1: Group forces at the Breach. Move as many troops and weapons to the Xadian outpost as possible for quick invasion into Xadian territory.
Night 1: Move as many large weapons and troops to the Xadian side as possible. Be battle ready - the fight starts at dawn.
Day 2: The battle (slaughter - he notes) begins, but more troops are coming in from the breach for reinforcements. Large weapons come in fewer supplies now. New soldiers are expected to take control of the weapons left behind by the first round.
Night 2: Keep attacking Thunder. Don't let him rest. New soldiers will come in.
Day 3: Same as the day before: keep up the front. Don't let Thunder rest. A steady stream of soldiers come into the Xadia side and will continue the attack.
… But that was the thing, Thunder didn't seem like he needed rest. A storm came in and renewed his energy, his attacks grew stronger and the morale of the Katolis troops was weakening. Dead colleagues can surround you for only so long before you feel effects of hopelessness sink in. In addition, troops could never come in quickly enough to replace those lost in battle because of the narrow pathway of the Breach. (Though that turned out to be a blessing; who knows how many lives that saved.)
By the afternoon of the third day - the second day of actual battle - Katolis troops started the retreat. Over seven hundred soldiers were left dead in Xadia, hundreds more injured and thousands never seeing the battle at all – just the effects.
The battle led to many changes in his life. Gren first met General Amaya during the battle because his skills as a Katolis Sign Language interpreter reached her. She had "borrowed" him from his commanding officer.
He had first met Lord Viren at the Xadian outpost as General Amaya gave him a mouthful (of which he interpreted) about the stupidity and recklessness of the battle. ("The blood price is high, but it will ultimately make the human kingdoms safer." – "Bull sh-it! Who will be here to defend the kingdom when Xadia wants their revenge? Our army will be dead and Katolis open for the elves!")
He spoke for General Amaya to King Harrow for the first time, "Throwing away the lives of your people Is Not the way to avenge her, Harrow!"
Throughout the battle, as she quickly signed her anger, Gren was there to interpret beat-by-beat, a battle of words.
Finally, the order to retreat, and General Amaya, along with King Harrow and Lord Viren, was going to ride into the Xadian side to call the orders. She paused for just a small moment, long enough to probably assess that Gren had never been in battle, and signed to him, "Brace yourself."
He nodded and took General Amaya's hand, and shared her horse while riding into Xadia.
The air was hot, dry, and full of static, the sounds of screams and clanging iron deafening. Blood ran from stones, turned the dirt to mud, and bodies lay limp around them, battering rams and ballistas overturned. It was hard to focus, but he tried, he shouted the words the troops desperately needed to hear, "RETREAT! RETREAT!"
When they made it back and adrenaline was no longer pumping through his blood Gren threw up several times, unable to stomach the images he saw any longer. General Amaya knelt beside him and rubbed his back in understanding. After he was finished she signed, "You did well to hang in there for this long. Thank you for being my voice."
Gren nodded, already fiercely loyal to the General, and continued being by her side for the coming days.
General Amaya was also by Gren's side. As the aftermath of the battle could start to be tallied, she was there when Gren received news that his older sister, Embla, died on the last day of battle from a sword in her back. Most likely, falling back into it during battle.
The world melted around him and General Amaya kept him steady. She watched as he paced around the room and rambled on about how it was impossible, tears streaming down his face. Finally, a wail escaped his mouth as he fell to his knees crying hysterically. He had never heard his voice make that sound before, but no words could properly describe the wave of grief that hit him. In that moment, Amaya grabbed him by the shoulders and hugged him - an enlisted soldier, whom she'd only just met, but her eyes told him that she knew. She really knew what he was feeling. Meeting General Amaya was the only good thing about that battle.
Gren was only seventeen and a half then - Heh, he smiled, that's Corvus' age now. He thought to himself. I hope Corvus never has to experience something like that...
A new thought: I hope he didn't already experience something like that.
"Commander Gren." Gren looked up – thoughts interrupted. "The service is about to begin. Would you like to join us?" Lieutenant Robin asked gently.
"Yes," Gren replied, "Of course. Sorry, I was just lost in thought." He smiled, embarrassed.
"Many of us are, on days like today. Come, let's grieve together."
Corvus was exhausted. He should be in bed - no, he should be already asleep by now. The air in the fortress was still heavy. Soldiers were going in groups to the Xadia post for service, rotating their shifts accordingly.
Tomorrow will probably feel like this too. Corvus thought to himself as he looked over the wall of the turret towards Katolis - home. I wonder how mom is doing today. I hope Chlo, Asha, and dad are keeping her busy.
It was the second time he was away from his mom during the anniversary of the Battle of the Breach, and even though he had just sent her a letter, he still felt guilty for not being there with her in person.
Corvus turned to the ladder, hearing someone approach - oh, his muscles relaxed. "Commander Gren, I wasn't expecting to see you today," he said upon the first sight of ginger hair.
"Oh, Corvus." Gren pulled himself up and sat down, leaning against the wall Corvus was looking out from, "Please, just Gren is fine, and I wasn't expecting to see you either. How did your mission go?" A surprisingly normal conversation, all things considered.
Corvus smiled and moved to sit next to Gren, "It went well, thanks. I was able to draw maps of the enemy locations. General Amaya wants to meet tomorrow for a follow up report."
Gren smiled, "That's great! I look forward to looking at them and catching up."
Corvus could feel his guard come down further. He and the lieutenant commander might not be friends, but his smile always seemed encouraging. With Soren still replying to his letters as "Traitor" and with minimal inquiry about his new life, it just felt nice that his commanding officer would take such an interest.
Wait. Was Gren his commanding officer? He always reported directly to General Amaya; was it even appropriate to be friends with his commanding officers? In the Crown Guard, definitely not - the chain of command must be strictly followed - but things here seemed oddly relaxed in that regard.
"I was surprised not to see you when I returned," Corvus admitted, creating an opportunity to talk more personally. This had all the potential to backfire because Corvus could infer what Gren must've been doing. He could guess that these days must be painful for him as well. However, there was a part of Corvus that wanted to talk about the battle, to share his hurt from his family and to feel connected in that way. He was not with his family to share in their pain, but he felt like Gren was the type of person to whom he could entrust that, and even share his own, if he felt comfortable enough.
A small hollow chuckle, "Yea, I was on the Xadian outpost for service, but I wanted to be back by dark, and well…" He gestured to the night sky, "Here I am."
That laugh wasn't the commander's though; strike that, it wasn't Gren's laugh. He must've been hurting today too. He had been at service. Maybe he'd lost someone. Maybe that laugh was his way of trying to cover the pain.
Corvus nodded, a small, "That checks out." escaping him, a Crown Guard phrase. Hopefully, Gren didn't notice.
He looked at the ground; how do you ask someone if they are okay? Really okay? Should he pry more into Gren's statement? Could he just share his sadness and then maybe Gren would share his? Or even if Gren wanted to keep his experience private, was it okay for Corvus to talk about what happened? Gren would stop him if he was uncomfortable, right?
"I miss my mom," he said softly, eyes still on the ground, barely registering that he'd even said it himself. There was a part of his brain that registered that Gren turned toward him, gave him his full attention. "She was a general in that battle, fought with her battalion on the final day, Thunder attacked with his tail and several ballistas were overturned. My mom was trapped under one of them, the weight crushing her legs, she was removed from the battle - lost her legs but came out with her life. Still…the loss of her troops, it weighs on her to this day, and the anniversary is especially hard." He paused, still staring at the ground, a few tears escaping, "I should be there."
There was a pregnant pause before he felt Gren's hand on his shoulder, "That checks out."
…Wait, what? Corvus immediately looked up and looked at Gren, who notably seemed to be trying to hold a straight face. Corvus laughed as he wiped his tears, "I don't know what I was expecting, but I was not expecting that." He said while another burst of laughter escaped him, cutting the tense air.
Gren seemed relieved the joke went through, a small smile on his face. "I've found that sometimes laughing with the pain helps," he said softly, his demeanor also looking more relaxed, "I hear you though, Corvus. You're not alone in those feelings."
Another pause, although the air was less thick now.
"I'm sure your mom can feel your love for her. Knowing you, you probably wrote," Gren said.
Corvus felt a little heat rise to his cheeks, "Am I that easy to read?"
Gren grinned and shook his head, "No; well, not on that, you mention your letters sometimes in our conversations."
He had never realized he did that, but it made sense that they would've come up.
"Your family seems close. You have cousins, aunties, and uncles in your town too if I remember correctly." Gren turned to him, his expression indicating he wanted confirmation.
Corvus nodded.
"So I'm sure your family is supporting her with all their love too," he said softly.
A small smile escaped Corvus. It didn't necessarily alleviate all the guilt, but the words were comforting and even voicing his feelings helped him feel better. "Thank you, for listening," he replied quietly.
Gren nudged his shoulder, "Anytime, what are friends for?"
And his chest bloomed with warmth at the mention of the word: friend. Gren felt it too.
"Hey, um, if you ever need to get something off your chest, I'm happy to listen to you too."
Gren's smile lessened slightly and he looked at the ground, "Thanks." There was another pause, "For tonight, would you mind sticking around just a little longer?" He looked up at Corvus, and again with that soft smile, "It's nice – having company."
"That checks out," he said nonchalantly, happy that Gren started laughing afterwards. It was nice to pay that forward. After Gren's laughter died down he continued, "What are friends for?"