Author's note: Borrowed bits from "Plight at the Museum" (3x05) and "We're Gonna Need a Bigger Vote" (3x07).
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
"If it's because I'm pregnant, you can take that ring and shove it."
Happy's threat hung heavily in the air as Toby stopped struggling against Cabe's full nelson hold. Walter darted a glance at Paige, whose face had paled significantly. She had both arms wrapped protectively around her abdomen, which also concerned him. Was she having contractions? She didn't seem to be in any pain. . . At least not physically.
"Wait." Sylvester paused in the middle of restoring the items on his desk which the shrink had mowed down in his haste to pummel Walter. "You're not a US citizen?" he asked with a puzzled expression as he looked over at Walter, who was picking himself up off the concrete floor.
"No. Why?" He brushed off the seat of his trousers.
"I've decided to run for the position of city alderman of West Altadenia and I was hoping I could count on your vote," the younger genius explained.
"I don't live in West Altadenia." Walter wondered if Sly's decision had anything to do with the comic book store where he played Fantasies and Frolics being torn down.
"Oh, right," the human calculator said. "Never mind." His face a bright red, he went back to reorganizing his belongings.
"Hold up a minute," said Cabe. "I don't understand. Why didn't you just renew your visa? I had to pull a lot of strings to get a sixteen year old an Einstein visa."
"An Einstein visa?" asked Toby, a malicious gleam in his eye. "That must have been a real slap in the face, Mr "My IQ is Higher Than Einstein's."
"Can it, Doc." The Homeland agent stared at Walter, who fidgeted uncomfortably under his scrutiny.
"I had been renewing it, every year after the initial three year visa expired. But then. . ."
"But then you met Mark Collins," Happy sneered, "and he filled your head full of crazy shit.."
"Starting my own business was my idea," countered Walter, "as was applying for permanent status." At least he thought it had been. Mark had always complained about the hours he'd wasted while at his job as a forensic analyst. Hours they could have devoted to working on their intellectual endeavors.
"Yeah, but he was the one who suggested you quit your job at the bank so you two could spend more time together. And since you weren't employed, your application got denied. Your O-1 had run out and I had to marry your sorry ass to keep you in the country."
"So, was this marriage consummated?" the shrink asked out of the blue. "Because, I swear to God, O'Brien, if you fucked her. . ." He took a menacing step forward, only to be corralled by Cabe once again.
"Oh, God." Walter spun around as Paige sank down into her desk chair. Her skin was like chalk. His anxiety over her well-being escalated.
"I never touched her," he stated, running his hand through his hair. "Except for a kiss in the judge's chamber."
"And it's not like we enjoyed it," Happy added, glancing at him with a smirk. "It was gross."
"Come on, it wasn't that bad." he said, his pride smarting a little. It had been weird though. Like kissing an inanimate object.
Happy ignored him. "Besides," she began, directing her words at the psychiatrist, "remember that morning we went to the garage and those two. . ." she pointed at Walter and Paige, "were upstairs getting their freak on and I said it was about time he got laid and you agreed?"
Heat crept up Walter's neck. Dammit, had everyone known he'd been a virgin? He knew he shouldn't let it bother him, but, for some reason, it did.
"Oh. Yeah. I. . .uh. . ." Toby had the decency to look ashamed. But that emotion was short-lived. "Still doesn't change the fact you two are married and you've been cheating on him. . .with me."
"It's not like he cares," she said. "You're not the first. . ." She abruptly stopped talking.
"I'm not the first what?" the shrink demanded angrily.
"It doesn't matter," she ground out. "It's never been a real marriage. But getting out of it is going to be tricky. The second we file for a divorce, INS is going to come down on us like a ton of bricks."
"That's your problem, isn't it?" Toby walked over to where he'd dropped the engagement ring and plucked it up off the floor. Even without a degree in either psychiatry or psychology, Walter knew the behaviorist was looking for a scapegoat to blame for the botched proposal. He just hadn't decided whether it should be him or Happy.
"I'm outta here," the shrink snarled. "Let me know when you get it all figured out." He stormed out of the garage, his grand exit marred by the fact the door got stuck and wouldn't slam shut behind him.
"Stupid son of a bitch," muttered Happy. Unlike Toby, however, she knew exactly who to blame. She marched up to Walter and jabbed a finger into his sternum. "You just had to listen to Mark Collins, didn't you?" she asked as pain radiated through his chest. "I should file for a divorce. If you get deported, it'd be one less dumbass in my life."
"Happy. . ." Walter didn't know what to say to change her mind. He couldn't go back to Ireland. Not now.
"We all need to take a beat," Cabe said, coming up to stand next to Walter. "You're a government asset working on high-clearance international cases. If you had a US passport, you could move in and out of the country faster. I could get Immigration to expedite your application."
"Thanks, Cabe," he said. "I'd appreciate that."
"Don't thank me yet," said the agent. "It could be risky. An expedited review could mean extra scrutiny."
"And extra scrutiny could uncover our marriage is a sham and I'd still get deported." Walter took a deep breath. Either way, he was screwed. He doubted they'd get a case worker who was 82 with cataracts like they did six years ago. But. . . He glanced over at Paige, who appeared to be in shock. For her sake, and for Ralph's and the baby's, he had to try.
"Do it," he said.
"I'll get the ball rolling first thing in the morning," the agent offered, patting Walter on the shoulder. The older man then turned to Happy. "You need a ride home, kid?"
The mechanic seemed surprised by the offer. "Yeah, I guess I do," she said, reaching her hand into her jacket pocket and coming up empty.
"Me, too," Sly chimed in, smiling uneasily. "Not home though. The Warlock's Chest."
"More the merrier." The Homeland agent started walking toward the door, followed by Happy and Sylvester.
"Cabe, wait."
Walter spun around to see Paige rising awkwardly from her chair. "I don't have my car and besides, I don't fit behind the steering wheel anymore." She gathered up her purse and sweater.
Cabe tossed him a look which was a mixture of sympathy and 'what did you expect?'
"Paige. . . Please. . ." He couldn't let her go. Not yet. Not until he could reassure her he would never abandon her. Not willing anyway.
She hesitated, turning her wide eyes in his direction. Cabe cleared his throat. "We'll just wait outside." He ushered his other two passengers out the door.
Walter warily stepped closer to her desk. "I'm going to fix this so I can marry you. I want us to be a family."
She stared at him, her eyes brimming with tears. Opening her mouth, she quickly closed it, biting her lip.
"There was never anything romantic between me and Happy," he repeated, "it was just the most expedient way to keep me from being deported."
An angry expression slid over her face. "I understand why you did it. I'm not an idiot." she snapped. And even though she was pissed at him, he was glad she was finally showing some emotion. "You've been cheating on Happy. . .on your wife with. . . Oh, God. . ."
She gasped, falling back into her chair, and his fear over her health returned. "You've made me the 'Other Woman'."
Ducking his eyes away from her furious glare, he said, "You're not the other woman. You're the only woman." He rubbed his hand across the back of his neck. "Besides, it's not like Happy's ever been faithful to me. It was never like that between us."
"Why didn't you tell me? Don't you trust me?" She sagged back in her chair, stroking her very pregnant belly.
"I trust you with my life," he reassured her. "But it wasn't just my story to tell. Only three people knew and that was already one too many."
Paige inhaled sharply, realizing he'd said those words before. "You said that about that time stamp. . . On those. . .those photos Linda sent us," she added when he appeared confused. "And there was a number, two thousand and something. . ."
"Two thousand one hundred eight-four. It was two thousand one hundred eighty-four days," he said, looking like he was going to be sick.
She tried to do the mental arithmetic but her brain was too agitated and the numbers kept jumbling together until she couldn't make any sense out of any of it.
Walter must have sensed her struggle because he supplied the answer. "It's approximately six years."
"You could have told me then, but you didn't." The baby kicked and she rubbed the spot where the tiny foot had hit her. "You've been lying to me all this time."
"I never lied. . ."
"Lied by omission. . ." she said accusingly.
"To be honest. . ." he began.
She snorted. "Oh, now you're being honest?"
"To be honest," he repeated, "being married was an unimportant detail I'd shoved to the back of my mind until I saw that time stamp."
Paige pursed her lips. "I'm going to overlook the fact you think being married is 'an unimportant detail'," she said. "I'm just curious how Linda found out if supposedly only you, Happy, and Mark Collins knew about it."
"Uh. . ." He aimed his gaze down at the floor as he ran his hand through his hair. "It's a matter of public record. Anyone can access marriage records, no hacking required," he added, biting off a laugh.
His poor attempt at humor didn't amuse her. She stood up, a task which had been getting harder and harder to do since her swollen belly had shifted her center of gravity. "Are you serious about getting married?"
"Yes," Walter replied, "very serious. I want you and me and Ralph and the baby. . ." He pointed at her stomach. "I want us to be a real family."
He seemed sincere, but then so had Drew. And she knew she needed to stop comparing the two men, because they were as different as night and day. But she couldn't help it. Her ex has promised her essentially the same thing, minus the mention of marriage, and had abandoned her anyway. A lot could happen in six months, like Walter could be living in Ireland. Leaving her by herself with a newborn and a very distraught older son.
"You haven't officially proposed yet, you know," she said peevishly.
Walter started to open his mouth to do just that, but she cut him off. "The answer would be no," she said, "I won't even consider it until you're officially a free man."
"But. . ." But it could be months before he was single again. There was the possibility he'd have to leave the country for awhile. He could miss the birth of their son.
"I need to go," she said, intruding into his dire deliberations, "the others are waiting."
"I'll drive us home," he offered. "Just let me get my stuff."
"Oh, no, you're not coming back to the condo with me," she said. "I can't sleep with a married man."
It suddenly became impossible to breathe. She didn't mean that. Couldn't mean that. Was she. . . Oh, shit, was she leaving him? Gulping in several lungs full of air, he waited until his full-blown panic subsided into a mild hysteria.
"What. . .What d-difference does it make now?" he asked, a bit of lingering dread leaking into his voice.
"Truthfully," she said, looking down to play with the clasp of her bag, "I don't know. It just does." Lifting her gaze to meet his, she added, "I need some time. . ."
"Please." Tears began to fill his eyes but he didn't care. "Please. . . Don't do this. . . Don't. . ."
She interrupted his desperate pleas. "I can't deal with this right now," she said, agitatedly waving her hand. "I'm. . . Since I'm more or less sidelined anyway. . . I won't be in. . ."
"Paige, please. . ."
"Walter. . ." She bit her lip and he could see she was wavering. "Please, just give me some time to. . .to think things through. Okay?"
She didn't wait for his reply, instead moving past him as she waddled toward the door. He wanted to chase after her, beg her not to leave, not to leave him. Instead, he kept his eyes trained on her until she disappeared out the door, not wanting to acknowledge it could be the last time he'd ever see her. But he had to acquiesce to her wishes and give her the space she needed to sort it all out.
All he could do was hope it all sorted out in his favor.
ooooo
It was a little after eleven Friday night when Walter's cell phone rang. He was in his lab, hypothetically boosting the signal strength of the antenna he and Ralph were constructing to make contact with the Cassiopeia satellite. In reality, however, he'd spent the last four hours as he'd spent the last four days. Anxiously brooding over how he'd screwed up and the possibility Paige had left him for good.
He tried to reach out to her, but his calls dumped straight to voice mail. His texts remained unanswered. He worried whether she'd gone for her weekly check up on Wednesday. It would have the first one he'd missed since learning she was pregnant, and it pained him not to be there.
Then to add to his already hellish week, a summons had arrived on Thursday to appear in court on Monday. The trial had gone to the jury for deliberation, and Ms Lee wanted him and Paige to be there when the verdicts were handed down on the militia members.
So when he picked up his phone and saw her number, his heart rate accelerated and his palms began to sweat. He swiped the answer button so fast, his finger slid off the screen. "Paige?" he asked, unable to contain his elation.
But it wasn't her voice on the other end of the connection.
"Sorry, Walter. It's me. Ralph."