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Song suggestion: Safe and sound, Taylor Swift.
Chapter Four: Drowning.
I woke up in a hospital bed of my own, a nurse and Deputy Steve watching over me. The nausea was gone along with the smell of bodily fluids but the disinfectant still stung my nose, which I scrunched distastefully. Hospitals were my nightmare. Despite my many trips here, I could never shake the sick feeling that clouded my gut now. Turning to Deputy Steve, I noted his serious and concerned expression. His eyes were pinched as if to stop tears and my lip began to tremble, already at an awful conclusion on its own. A crushing conclusion that choked the air out of my lungs and caused my heart to stop.
"Bel-"
"No." I whimpered, "No, no, no, no, daddy, no." Gut wrenching tears flooded my eyes as I wailed, clutching my heart. He couldn't be dead, he just couldn't, not my dad, please, not my dad, please don't let my dad be dead, "No…"
"Bella." Steve hurriedly pulled me into his arms, "I'm so sorry, it's going to be okay, everything's going to be fine, I promise, ssshhh…" He held me as I sobbed into his chest and the nurse disappeared to give us some privacy.
I couldn't believe he'd died. My dad. Gone forever. The prospect was impossible to ponder. He'd always taken care of me, been there through everything. How could he be dead? No more pizza nights watching sports. No more hugs when I fell. No more late night check ins, because I always stayed up late reading sneakily. Life without him was incomprehensible. He couldn't be dead, he couldn't.
The thoughts turned my stomach and I turned away from Deputy Steve to vomit onto the white tiled floors. Bile burned my nose as he called for a nurse frantically before coming back to me. I wept as Steve pulled me back upright and held a bedpan in front of me. It reminded me of the rare times I was too sick to go to school and dad would sit by me all day, staying off work for once, and hold me until I felt better. The reminder was like a punch in the gut and I heaved into the bedpan again as rivers leaked down my face.
After wiping my face, I turned to cry into Steve's shoulder. His large hands rubbed my back gently and I wished futilely that it was my dad. But then I wouldn't be crying and this situation wouldn't be occurring. With all my might, I wished that I could go back to this morning and stop dad and Sarah from leaving.
That thought brought me up short. What about Sarah? What happened to her? Had she survived despite dad's implications? As the realisation of this mystery filled my grieving mind, Billy entered. My eyes immediately met his and I knew he'd been crying too. His face was flushed and watery but he still exuded the calm aura he wore like a cape.
"Bil-"
"I know honey." He nodded and came over. Deputy Steve moved away to allow Billy to take his place, flicking on his walkie talkie. As Steve walked away, Billy engulfed me with a hug and I sobbed into his chest and I felt tears splashing on my hair.
"Wh-hat ab-ab-about S-S-Sarah?" I asked tentatively and his head shook sadly, "I'm s-sorry." Trying to comfort him, I squeezed my arms around him. Billy sniffed quietly and hushed me. Both of us fighting to regain composure to be there for the other, which was slightly ridiculous considering our states.
We stayed there for a long while, cloaked in our grief, until Billy pulled away. I watched him, as I sniffled back my own tears, straightening his shirt and fixing his face into, what I was sure he wanted to be a reassuring expression but looked more of a grimace. He held his hand out to me and I took it, scrubbing my eyes dry with the back of my hand. The hospital milled around us as we made our way to the exit where Deputy Mark and Steve stood talking quietly. Both glanced up at us as we approached and Mark stood forward to meet us.
"Mr Black, Bella." He greeted us, pausing our departure. Billy seemed agitated, probably wanting to get home to his family after losing his wife. God only knew the grief he was staving back to function so reasonably and being stopped was stretching his evidently frayed nerves, "Deputy Steve and I were just discussing Bella's arrangem-"
"Bella will be coming home with me." Billy interrupted sternly. The fiercely protective glare Billy gave the officers was almost frightening yet it comforted me. I may not have my dad watching over me now but I was damn sure Billy and the Black family were going to now that he was gone. Who else would?
"Certainly sir." Deputy Mark hastily agreed, "If that is what Bella wants." I nodded when he glanced at me. I had nowhere else to go now. The Blacks were my only family now, "We'll be by tomorrow afternoon to discuss the arrangements."
"Thank you boys." With that, Billy led me out to the parking lot. The ride back to the reservation was silent and seemed to stretch a long time. The truck created the only noise of loud rumbling but the quiet in the cab wasn't uncomfortable. We both were consumed by our thoughts, and I frequently swiped away the tears still brimming in my eyes.
The rain was cascading down the windows, as if the world wept with us for our loss. I couldn't imagine how life was going to go on without dad and Sarah. Sarah had always been like a mother to me, and dad…dad was dad. Losing him was like the rain. Everyone was going to feel the loss of the Chief of Police no doubt. But wishing for a miracle, for him to be alive again, was like waiting for sun in this sodden town.