AN: I know my updating isn't regular, but I appreciate those readers continuing with this story, so thank you so much.
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Song suggestion: Shirtsleeves, Ed Sheeran.
Chapter Five: Dark Clouds.
The truck's groaning cut off suddenly and I glanced around, realising we were back at the house. Billy rubbed his strained face and took several deep breaths. I watched in concern as he climbed out of the truck looking thoroughly exhausted. He looked back at me and pulled me out through the driver's side, hugging me to him.
"You look tired Bella; I think its bedtime, don't you?" I knew he wanted to spare me the harrowing scene that would unfold. And I was glad, I didn't think I could handle being around others right now. A room of overwhelming grief was a mere first to being alone to cry and thinking over the terrible future ahead of us all.
"Yes, thank you." My answer was meek and spluttering around my tears but Billy understood. He kissed my forehead and led me to the door. It felt so strange to be here. The last time I arrived here it was with my dad. I whimpered at the memory and Billy put his arm around my shoulders and looked down. His eyes seemed to read mine and understand exactly what I was thinking. Giving my shoulders another squeeze he placed is hand on the door knob, taking a deep breath and collecting himself.
As soon as the door opened, Rebecca and Rachel flew at Billy. They could probably sense the grief on him. Moving aside, I slipped passed the people who began to converge around Billy. It was now my turn to allow them to grieve. I was a disturbance, intruding in on a moment of immense destruction on their lives. Creeping around the room to the small hallway to the bedrooms, I listened to their distressed calls.
"Daddy?" "Daddy?" "What's wrong?" "Daddy?" They chorused and I glimpsed Sue trying to keep them back so Billy had chance to sit down. The strain on his face and tension in his rigid posture spoke volumes. He was struggling to keep his own pain hidden so he could be brave for his children. I had never seen something as hard in my life as he barely covered his inner expression in his ever present aura of calm authority.
I opened the first door I found and closed myself into Jacob's room. It looked like Sue had made Jake make his bed and clean up the toys he normally had strewn everywhere. The normalcy was a stark contrast to what the day had become. My heart seized and I had to grip the bed to stop myself from falling under the crippling emotions. Knowing he wouldn't mind if I stayed here, I clambered onto his bed and snuggled under the covers. Trying to find comfort in the small heat the blanket created the illusion of.
But I couldn't block out the sounds coming from the other room. Billy's deep tone was quiet but I could hear everything of what he had to say, the terrible news he had to break. More tears gathered in my eyes and I buried my face in Jacob's pillow. They never stopped dripping, I felt like a broken faucet, my face forever wet.
"Some people leave us earlier than others, it may not seem fair but we must be strong. Like the Great Spirit Warriors. Mom would want you to be strong as she loved you all so much. But today mom was in a car accident and passed away. Gone to live with our ancestors in the Final Lands, where we shall all meet again." His voice cracked several times and I was sure he was crying as he tried to deliver the most heart breaking of news to his three children and wife's best friend. My heart would have broken for him had it not already shatter into millions of tiny pieces blown away in the wind.
The wails and cries coming from the front room could have destroyed a frozen ice berg heart with the grief they displayed. It was soul destroying to think of what they were going through. I could only imagine the pain the others were going through. Losing a parent seemed to be an all-consuming situation and I couldn't see the light yet, the pain only worsened in a downward spiral. It seemed like the sun no longer shone in the sky, brightening the dreary world. Like a downward spiral to the depths of hell.
I tried to smother my cries in Jacob's pillow as I heard quiet, reassuring voices from the other room and hiccupping sobs. They needed time to mourn for their own family before they could comfort me. It would be selfish of me to wish for company when Billy had been with me before his kids for hours in the hospital. I couldn't help but want someone's arms to hold me in my sorrow and tell me everything was going to be fine even though it probably wasn't. But I refused to look for their company when they were in pain too. Never would I put my own grief above anyone else's, how sickeningly selfish that would be.
Though, in the end, I didn't need to worry about being alone. Rightly forgotten in their own grief for their mother, wife, and best friend. The door cracked open and I heard footsteps coming to the bed. They were too light for an adult's and I looked up puzzled. I should have known. Jacob climbed onto the bed and pulled me into his arms. Even in his young age, he was still my best friend. Unselfishly taking care of me before himself.
Jacob was like the tiny but steady ray of sunlight that broke through the dense cloud cover during a storm. Like my own personal sun. Always there to show me through everything. I thought about pushing him off and comforting him as I had grieved more than he already but instead I found myself selfishly wailing into his chest as he cried too. We grieved together, comforted by each other's presence.