I am so sorry that I disappeared! A huge thing happened and I've had NO time to write or do anything really but things are finally settling down so I wrote one more chapter for Whumptober. I hate that I had to basically abandon it this year, but I really wanted to write this chapter, so it's a bit late. Hopefully when things settle down more, I'll have more time to write :) Thank you all so much for your patience!
This chapter is an AU for the Handmaids Tale, and includes allusions to sexual assault of a minor, but nothing graphic. It is for day 24: Forced Mutism
Forced mutism
"Penny Parker. Penny Parker. Penny Parker."
Penny whispered her name to herself as she knelt in her closet, her forehead pressed against the wall, shaking hands resting on the floorboard where the package of letters was hidden. She'd just gotten another one a few days ago, and had slipped it into her dress and snuck it back to her attic bedroom in the commander's house. Her name. Penny Parker. She hadn't heard it in two years...not since she was thirteen years old, the day she was stolen from her family and thrown into a school for the other girls that they didn't think would make good wives.
Children of the rebels. Mutants. Children who were just a bit too old to blindly do as they were told. She, of course, fell into all three categories. It had been three years since her country had seemed to collectively lose it's mind. Since the plummeting birth rates and increased infant mortality rates had paved the way for a religious cult to take over the government. For the women of her country to be reduced to nothing more than child-bearers. And, when the wives of the rich and powerful couldn't have children, they were given a handmaid.
Ofjared. It was her new name. The one they'd given to her at fourteen when she'd been assigned to Commander Jared and his wife. Fourteen was old enough, they had said. At least for the children of rebels and mutant children...children they didn't consider children at all. She wasn't a child to these people, she knew. She was an opportunity to have children. And so, twice a month…
It was something she didn't think about. It was a job, she told herself when the images would flash into her mind at night. A job. That was all.
She knew what the government said. That they were volunteers. That the women were all adults who had volunteered for this job. That the handmaids wanted this life. That the wives agreed to it. That the women of this country had come together and agreed that this was the way to save their country and that they were happy to do it. Of course they were. Who would refuse to save their own country? That's the question their government asked in the glimpse of the video Penny had seen in the place they'd sent her. The place with the women with the tasers and the whips and the cold, hard mattresses on the floor.
But the letters said otherwise. The letters written by handmaids over the last few years. The tear-stained letters that poured out life stories and pleas for help. For the world to wake up and take notice and step in. For the people of the world to save them. Penny hadn't added her own. Hadn't dared risk sneaking a pencil in. Hadn't dared risk being seen writing something down. But with shaking hands, she held them almost every night and flipped through them, her own tears joining the dried ones on the papers until she had all thirty-two letters memorized.
And then she would tie them with the twine and place them back beneath the floorboard and try not to even think about them during the day lest the guards patrolling the streets or her commander or even her waking partner suddenly gain the ability to read her mind. Women weren't allowed to have letters. They weren't allowed to write them or read them or anything else for that matter. The only thing Penny had read since she'd been captured were those letters, written and delivered in secret by the underground organization still fighting their government.
The clock chimed. Two o'clock in the afternoon. Two chimes, resonating through the house, and Penny made sure that the floorboard was secure before jumping to her feet and slipping them into the black heeled boots sitting by her door. Grabbing her white, winged hat, she placed it carefully so that it covered her hair, then tied the string under her chin rested a hand on the door, her heart pounding. This was it. This was her chance.
"Be brave." She whispered the words under her breath, glancing down at the iron bracelets on her wrist, covering the tiny flap of skin where her pulse point was. The spider bite had come only months before the fall of her country, but the close inspection by the aunts at the training center had revealed everything. Only her commander had the key to the cuffs.
"Be brave." Those were the last words her uncle had said to her, the blood spreading from the wound in his chest. Father. Mother. Aunt. Uncle. Gone in that order. Now it was just her.
Taking a deep breath, she pulled the door opened and hurried down the stairs, then took her place beside their Martha, hands clasped in front of her, face tilted downward so that her features would be in shadow. She was expected to greet their guests, of course, but she wasn't allowed to speak to them. Or let them see her face. She was too young. Everyone knew it, even it the government said it was okay since she was a mutant. The child of rebels. Not really a human anyway. Her commander didn't seem to mind. Just that thought was almost enough to make her shudder, and she shoved it back.
It was a job. This was her mission. If she succeeded...maybe she could be a small part of bringing this system down.
The door opened, one of the guardians with his huge gun strapped to his back revealing the two men and a woman standing in the doorway, and Penny's heart jumped into her throat as she risked a peek. It was him. Tony Stark. Iron Man. And Steve Rogers. And Natasha Romanoff. The Avengers.
It was supposed to be a diplomatic mission. But Penny had known about Iron Man since the moment he'd announced his secret identity. He was a superhero...he would save them. Right? Surely, surely the Avengers would save them. It was what Penny was counting on as she stared down at her hands, clasped in front of her, skin pale against the blood red fabric.
"Mr. Stark. Captain Rogers. Agent Romanoff. It's an honor," her commander murmured, reaching out a hand and smiling. Just his voice made her stomach turn, but she forced herself to remain still. Stoic. This was her job. Her mission. Women all over were counting on her. Girls, her age. Mutants. The children of the people who had fought so hard to keep this future from coming to pass. All of them were relying on her.
"Commander Jared," Mr. Stark replied, voice cool. All three Avengers shook his hand, eyes darting around the room, and Penny quickly lowered hers back to her hands and the iron bracelets. "Thank you for having us in your home."
"Of course. We have guest rooms set up for each of you. This is my wife, Caroline."
"It's nice to meet you," Mr. Stark said with a smile, shaking her hand too. And then there was a pause. Her commander cleared his throat.
"This is our Martha. I'm not sure how much you know about how our households are run…" There was another long pause. Penny didn't dare lift her eyes. Neither did their Martha. "Martha's are older women whose role is to aid in running the homes of certain families."
"And they volunteer for this job?" the Black Widow wanted to know.
"We are all honored to do our part for the greater good," their Martha told her, voice just the right amount of pious to make Penny's lip twitch. Based on the amount of grumbling that happened in the kitchen every morning, she doubted that.
"And you?" Captain America's voice was soft, gentle, but still, Penny didn't dare look up.
"Our Handmaid, Ofjared. Handmaids are the backbone of our society, Captain. They do the most important work, and they are a blessing to our family."
"Ofjared," Mr. Stark repeated flatly, and Penny fought the urge to look up. She was under strict instructions...don't look at the guests. Don't speak. "What's her real name?"
"That is her real name, Mr. Stark," her commander informed him coldly. "Martha, why don't you and Ofjared get the table set for a late lunch? I'm sure our guests are hungry."
Penny and the Martha hurried to do as they had been bid, setting out plates with shaking hands in the hushed silence. Right as Penny was about to start serving the tea, the Martha, whose name she had never dared ask, reached out and gripped her hand with a surprising strength. "Are you going to do it?"
Penny hesitated, then nodded.
"Tonight?"
She nodded again.
The Martha's face softened, and she squeezed Penny's hand. Together, the two of them had been collecting those letters to keep them safe. Penny knew that her Martha had been trying to smuggle children out of the country, and she knew that she would move on to handmaids next. Every day, her Martha risked her life to put a stop to this. Now Penny would do the same. "They're good people. They'll get you out."
"What about you?" Penny asked, but her Martha shook her head.
"My work is here."
The door creaked open and Penny hurried to pull her hand away, reaching for the teapot as the Martha grabbed a tray of sandwiches painstakingly cut into tiny squares. The Avengers seated themselves, looking awkward as Penny stepped out of the way, making sure to keep her face pointed toward the floor.
And then her commander and his wife were in the room and she was dismissed.
She sat in her room for hours, listening. With her hearing, she could hear every word of their conversations, and she felt like it wasn't going all that well. The three Avengers sounded angry most of the time, while her commander urged them to open their minds and think about the greater good. That night, Penny knew, her Martha would be smuggling a baby out of the house next door, working with the other Marthas to get both the baby and her mother, a handmaid, out of the country.
And Penny would be throwing herself on the mercy of Tony Stark.
She waited in her room until after midnight. 12:31am. She should have been asleep. And she knew from the sounds of her commander and his wife breathing that they were asleep. Their Martha wasn't in the house. And Tony Stark was awake. Standing silently from her bed, Penny padded over to the closet, kneeling as quietly as she could and removing the floorboard, and then the bundle of letters. Holding them in shaking hands, Penny stood, then stood in front of her door once more, eyes closed.
If she was caught, she would hang for this. They would hang her from the wall with the other rebels and traitors.
If she didn't do this, though...the rest of her life would be this. Twice a month with the commander until she gave him a baby. Then a new commander. Then another and another until she couldn't be used anymore.
No. That would not be her life.
All of her life, she'd wanted to be a superhero. Now she would be the next best thing.
She slipped the packet of letters into the front of her dress and took a deep breath, and then another. And then she opened her door, moving into the dark hallway and closing it as quietly as she could behind her. This was her mission. This was her job. She could have crawled along the ceiling, but she knew which floorboards were creaky, and she knew that being caught out in the hallway was possible to explain away but being caught using her powers would be unforgivable.
It seemed to take her hours to reach Tony's Stark's door. She could hear a pen moving on paper, and she took shaky, shallow breaths as quietly as she could as she stood in the hallway, her fingers brushing against his door. This was it. This was her chance. And so, not daring to risk the noise of knocking, Penny placed her fingers around his doorknob and slowly, silently turned it, moving as quickly as she could and slipping into his room as she shut the door behind her.
The room was one she'd seen before...a guest room with long, heavy curtains covering the windows and a perfectly made bed. Mr. Stark sat at his desk, pen in hand as he scribbled on a piece of paper, but the moment the door closed behind her, he stiffened in his chair, head jerking around as he turned to stare at her. Immediately upon seeing her, his irritation and suspicion dropped away and his face softened as he turned fully in his chair. "Hi," he murmured, and just that word, soft and inviting, coming from the man who had been her hero for so long, nearly broke her.
Biting down hard on her lip and closing her eyes, Penny lowered her face, glad for the hat she'd slipped on. She was expected to wear it when company was in the home...was expected to keep out of the way and stay silent and play her role in this horrible, demeaning place, but this was her chance and she wasn't going to screw it up. "Please," she whispered, her voice shaking, but she soldiered on, taking several steps into the room and reaching into her dress to pull out the parcel of letters that she held out to him with trembling hands.
They were the last hope of so many women, including her. And placing them on the desk in front of him felt like exposing her back right before a beating. What if he betrayed them? What if he didn't understand? She couldn't let that happen.
"Please…" she whispered it again, ignoring the tears that fell as he looked from the letters in her hands to her. "We didn't volunteer. None of us. They force us...please...none of us wanted this. They killed my family. They beat us and they force us...they force us to have their children and if we can't or we don't...if we fight back they kill us. Please...please help…" The tears were coming too quickly, her breath catching in desperate pants, and the man jumped to his feet, gripping her shoulders and leading her over to the bed, but she balked, heart racing, a scream caught in her throat.
She couldn't scream. Couldn't risk getting caught!
"Woah...hey…"
But his words didn't register. All she could see was the bed and all she could remember was the ceiling and her commander's wife's hands gripping hers and she hated that woman and she hated that man and she wished they would die. It was a job but she hated it and she wanted them dead for what they were doing! "Don't...no I don't...don't want to…"
His face clouded over, lips pressing together so tightly they went nearly blue, but then he led her to the chair instead as she fumbled for the string under her chin. It was too tight all of a sudden!. "I'm sorry. I'm not going to hurt you. I promise. Hey," he knelt down in front of her, reaching out to touch the string of her bonnet as she tried to keep her gasping breaths quiet. "Do you want to take this off?"
Penny nodded, fingers shaking too hard to do it herself, so Iron Man undid the knot, then went rigid, eyes widening in horror as he took in her face. "How old are you?" The question was almost a demand. He was angry. Good. If he was angry, maybe he would be more likely to help. Still, the tone made her flinch on instinct.
"Fifteen."
He looked away then, eyes moving to stare at the wall and staying there for a moment as the man took long, deliberate breaths. "The letters?" he asked, voice shaking.
"From the handmaids. They sneak them...we're not allowed…" The tears still fell but she had to tell him. To explain the full extent. "They don't let us read or write or listen to music or watch movies anymore...they took it all away."
His eyes darted back to her, then down to her wrists. "What is this?" he asked, a finger tapping the metal there.
She swallowed hard, bringing up a hand to wipe her eyes. "I'm...I'm a mutant," she whispered, just the word spoken aloud making her shudder. That word wasn't said. Not ever. It was just understood. "It's why...usually they would have made me a wife when I turned sixteen. But...but they don't...I mean...they don't think we count."
"Count?" Mr. Stark repeated softly.
"As people."
He closed his eyes, then nodded, tapping his fingers twice against the metal before standing, grabbing the letters and stuffing them into his bag. "Okay. Can you stay in here? Just for a minute?"
"If they catch me in here…" she started, jumping to her feet, but he caught her before she could leave.
"Hey, look at me. You know who I am?"
Penny nodded.
"Then you should know that I'm not going to let those people hurt you. Not anymore."
They were the words she'd waited so long to hear, and she found that her legs refused to hold her, buckling under the wave of relief that nearly flattened her. He easied her back into the chair and rested a hand on her back for a moment as she cried into her hands, desperately trying to muffle her sobs.
"You're okay. I promise. You're going to be okay. Just give me five minutes."
Mr. Stark didn't take the full five minutes. Instead, he was back in less than three, followed by Captain Rogers and Natasha Romanoff. It was Natasha who approached her, face unflappable while Captain Rogers balked at the sight of her. She heard him whisper 'fifteen' to Mr. Stark, but she kept her eyes on Miss Romanoff who came to kneel in front of her chair, her face soft. Kind. Penny felt her heart clench. There hadn't been much kindness in her life for the last few years, and as hard as she tried not to let anymore tears fall, one more escaped, her breath hitching.
"My name is Natasha Romanoff. Do you know who we are?"
"The Avengers," Penny answered, fighting to keep her voice steady.
Natasha nodded. "That's right. What's your name?"
No one had asked her that in so long...long enough that she couldn't even remember the last time it had happened. So, despite knowing the consequences if she were caught, she let herself say it, the name she whispered to herself at night lest she forget. "Penny Parker."
Natasha nodded, smiling a little at her. "It's nice to meet you, Penny. We're going to get you out of here, okay? We're going to get you somewhere safe."
A thousand questions flashed through Penny's mind. Where was safe? What about her Martha? And the other Handmaids? What about the children of the Handmaids? The ones that had been taken away, either before the fall of their country or after. What about the guardians and the commanders and the aunts and...what was going to happen to everyone else?
Natasha must have seen the look on her face...the confusion and the questions and the fear, because she reached out, resting a hand on her knee. "One thing at a time, okay? Do you ave anything to pack?"
Penny started to shake her head. There was nothing in this house that she wanted to keep, especially not the clothes that she'd rather burn than ever put on again. But then she remembered the little package of pills hidden beneath the floorboard where she'd hidden the litters. If they were found by anyone, they might trace them back to her Martha. So she nodded instead, jumping to her feet. "There's one thing."
"Okay. Can you get it and meet me in the kitchen?"
Penny nodded. It didn't feel real...surely she couldn't actually be getting out. Blood pounded in her ears as Mr. Stark and Captain America moved out of her way, stepping aside to let her pass back into the hallway, her socks sliding a little on the old hardwood floor as she hurried around the corner and up the stairs to her room.
Body on autopilot, she knelt in her closet and grabbed the little packet of pills, clutching them in her hand and heading for the door once more, shutting it as quietly as she could behind her. Maybe they wouldn't even know she was gone. Maybe she would get away. Maybe…
"Ofjared?"
The name made her jump and she turned to find her commander standing behind her, dressed in a nightshirt she'd seen too many times, his eyes narrow and confused. She froze, her blood turning to ice in her veins as she struggled to get her mind to work...to think!
"What are you doing up?" he wanted to know, too much suspicion in his voice.
"I...I wanted a glass of water," she whispered, as though trying to keep from waking his wife. "I'm sorry if I woke you."
His eyes went from her face, no longer covered with the bonnet, to her clenched hand down at her side. "What do you have there?"
She didn't have an answer. Blind with fear, she started to move past him. To pull away and make a run for it. But his hand closed around her wrist and had she not been enhanced and the metal cuffs already around her wrists it would have hurt. She jerked away, forgetting her own strength and forgetting the consequences. Not again. She couldn't stand his hands on her, not one more time. He lost his balance and started to stumble, and she pulled a foot back and kicked at him, ducking and following her instincts for the first time in so long.
They'd silenced her for so long. No more.
"Get the fuck off of me!" Penny snapped, feeling something inside of her break loose. She gripped the package in her hand even tighter, freeing her hand and making a run for the door. He followed, stumbling at first, but she was faster. Stronger. The Avengers were here. She'd always wanted to be a superhero and now real superheroes were here and she wasn't going to let this man keep her here. She leapt when she reached the top of the stairs, landing almost noiselessly at the bottom on her toes, landing in a crouch that her body seemed born to do. How long had it been since she'd run or jumped or done anything except walk to the store?
She rounded the corner into the kitchen, Commander Jared's heavy footsteps pounding on the stairs behind her, and nearly ran into Mr. Stark who moved with a quick sidestep out of her way, reaching out, hands hovering over her shoulders before he quickly pulled them away. "He caught me," she whispered, voice frantic.
"Let's get you out of here," he murmured, ushering her toward the kitchen door right as Commander Jared turned the corner.
"Hey! What the hell do you think you're doing?"
"Did you honestly think we were going to let you keep a fifteen year old girl hostage like this?" Natasha snapped, stepping forward out of the shadows as Penny was led out the side door. Part of her, the part that so badly wanted revenge for what had been done to her, wanted to stay and watch. Wanted to see what Natasha Romanoff, feared spy and Avenger, would do to him. But another part, the stronger part, wanted to be out of this house. Wanted to go the rest of her life without ever seeing that man again.
So she walked through the door, pausing only long enough to grip the metal cuff around her wrist, snapping it off easily, then doing the same with the other one. Mr. Stark's eyes widened in surprise as the two pieces of bent metal fell to the ground, and she knew he wanted to know more...more about her mutation and what she could do. But instead of asking, he ushered her through the yard, hands never actually touching her. Instead, they hovered over her shoulders, guiding, until they reached the driveway.
"Okay...so here's what's going to happen," he murmured, turning to face her in the dark and tapping his chest. Slowly, metal began to cover his body, the familiar Iron Man suit materializing before her eyes. All the while, his eyes stayed on hers. "I"m going to fly you out of here, back to our base. You'll be safe there. Okay?"
Penny nodded. She was getting out. Remembering the packet in her hand, she opened her fingers and tried to determine where to put it before stuffing it down the front of her shirt. At Mr. Stark's frown of confusion, she explained with a flush. "Birth control," she all but whispered, cheeks hot. "My Martha...she found them for me. They'll hang her if they find out."
He shook his head, something sad and tired passing over his face. "We aren't going to let that happen. We're going to protect her. But first we're going to get you out. I'm going to have to carry you." Those words were softer. More careful. And she didn't want to be difficult. Didn't want to argue. But the thought of a man's hands touching her...holding her, for so long, made her stomach lurch.
"I can stick," she blurted, taking half a step back when he started to lift a hand. "To your suit. I can hold on."
Mr. Stark narrowed his eyes at that. "Stick?" he asked, obviously dubious.
"Yeah. I...can I show you?"
He looked around, then nodded, and she stepped behind him, reaching out and grabbing his shoulders, then lifting herself up so that she was clinging to him. "And you can hold on?" he clarified, still not sounding convinced.
"Try to move my hand," she offered, feeling a thrill in her chest. How long since she'd dared use her powers? How long since she'd felt any hope? Every cell in her body wanted out of this place, and she told herself that if he could pry her hand off of his suit, she'd would let him carry her. She'd just deal with it, one way or another.
But when his metal-encased fingers closed around her hand, there was no movement. Her hand didn't even slide.
"Okay...yeah, I think that'll work," he murmured, sounding almost amused.
And then, before she could answer, they were off, shooting up into the sky so quickly that her stomach turned and a laugh was forced out of her, starting in her stomach, shoulders shaking as tears filled her eyes, her face hidden in the back of his suit.
She was getting out she was getting out she was getting out!
It wasn't long before that adrenaline wore off, though, and the sound of the wind rushing around her, the suit warming up under her fingertips as he must have turned on some kind of heater, and the gentle rocking motion of the suit as it flew and corrected itself and swayed back and forth a little in the air started to put her to sleep. She wouldn't let go, she knew, so, secure in the idea that she was finally, finally safe, Penny closed her eyes and let herself sleep. She would worry about the rest when she woke.
Thank you for reading!