AN: Firstly, I'm so sorry it's been so long! So, I'm so thankful to my readers who'll still read this, thank you so much! And thank you to my reviewers; sarah88, Wolf Born Woman, Taino Delsan13, and Guest.
Read and review please!
Song suggestion: Wildest Dreams, Taylor Swift.
Chapter Twenty Six: Later Longings.
Easing Sam's truck to a stop, I sighed and looked at my hands gripping the steering wheel. After Sam's disappearance, I had taken to using his truck. It still faintly smelled of his cologne and take-out pizza, a piece of portable Sam.
Glancing at our house, I scowled. I hated coming back to the house, it wasn't home anymore, and it gave me no comfort to return at the end of the day. The dark windows mocked my loneliness as I stepped out of the truck and slammed the door in frustration. The earlier misty rain had evolved into heavy, fat drops crashing down to earth, but nothing could hurry me to the door. I didn't want to walk into the cold, empty house. I didn't want to see Sam's ghost in memory captured rooms; I wanted Sam to come crashing out of the forest surrounding our house. He'd be dishevelled and near delirious with relief, but he'd be home.
Shoving the key into the lock, I rested my head against the wood, preparing myself to face another night. The door creaked under my weight and I pushed it open. Familiar scents of the wooden cabin filled my senses and I closed my eyes. I could see Sam fitting a handle to one of the kitchen cupboards, wood shavings under his boots from making the screw holes. He turned to me and laughed. I'd asked 'What? What are you laughing at? What?' and He'd nod at the mirror by the door and I'd gasp. I'd been painting the outside of the house and my left cheek was smattered with specks of paint. 'Only you Bells' He'd smiled and I'd scowled before rubbing my cheek with a rag, muttering about how I'd cover him in paint if he didn't stop laughing.
A noise pulled at me out of my reverie and I opened my eyes, startled. For one moment, for one desperate, hopeful moment I'd thought it could be Sam's voice call to me. But it wasn't, of course it wasn't. It didn't even sound like him, but I'd wished so hard in that moment it was that my heart broken slightly as a gentle hand touched my shoulder.
"Bella?" Leah eased me over the threshold and shut the rain and wind outside behind us, "You okay?"
"Fine, I'm fine." I lied and shrugged her off. Hanging up my raincoat and dumping my bag by the shoe rack, I turned for the kitchen, "You?"
"Fine." She replied, but we both knew we were being deliberately dishonest with each other. But those lies stopped either of us from breaking down in fits of tears, our heart seized with emotion, of wanting our Sam back. We couldn't be honest, but we could be strong, in memory of Sam, "Mom sent me with dinner."
I glanced at the covered casserole dish in her hands. Harry must have dropped her off nearby because neither she nor the dish was particularly damp. Nodding, I took it from her and set it on the kitchen island. A map of La Push and its surrounding areas lay next to it. Dismissing the idea of eating yet another well-meaning meal, I focused on the map. Sections coloured to show where search parties had covered already, and the few spots we hadn't been too yet.
"We should look here next." I pointed to a thin strip of land between two areas already searched, "If Sam thought to head south, he'd probably pass through there."
"Bella-" I ignored Leah's tone. It was one I was familiar with. The pitiful, hedging tone so many spoke to me with now. Even if it surprised me to hear it from her, I wouldn't listen to the next words out of her mouth, I could guess them.
"If we head out now, we can cover at least half tonight before curfew." Adamantly, I continued on, "Do you want to borrow a thicker raincoat; it's going to be a cold trip?"
"Bella, the weather is predicted for a storm…dad says to not go for tonight-we can look tomorrow though." She quickly pointed out at my outraged stare, "Sam wouldn't want us to endanger ourselves in this weather. That stretch of land will slide under this rain."
"Well, we can look somewhere else then!" I snapped, "What about here? It's not on a hill and it's covered by trees. We could even cover all of this area in one night!"
"Bella. We can't." Her eyes looked suspiciously bright and wet, her lips trembled as she spoke, "I hate to admit it, but dad knows what he's talking about. We can't go out tonight." Leah swiped at her crumbling face, "I want to, I really do, but we can't. Bella, I-I-"
"Don't give up, please don't give up." My own tear ducts reacted to hers and I sniffled them back quickly, "We can't give up. He's out there and we have to find him. Everyone else is giving up, but we can't, he needs us to find him. Leah?"
"I know, I know." She hurried calmed herself, barely collected herself, "But we need to wait until better weather."
"What about Sam in this weather?" I reasoned, "He's out there Leah, in that."
"I know, but we won't find him in this. We won't find our own feet in this downpour. We need to wait, even if we wait a couple of hours for it to dry off a bit." However ridiculous that hope, I gripped onto it desperately and smiled, nodding at her reasoning.
"Yeah, it might dry up yet, if we wait…" A plan to look later for Sam looked more positive than giving up for even one day and my heart seized onto the dismal hope, "We'll eat and wait."
"Yeah, we'll wait." Leah smiled, "Come on, mom made sausage casserole." Nodding to each other, we reassured ourselves Sam wasn't lost yet. Later, always later, we'd find him later. He would come home, but later. Always, we'd hope for his later return.