Coming Out or Going In

by Castlefan6

Authors Note: From a fan prompt (Castle was lent out to Robbery temporarily to work cold cases while Demming is on suspension. Lead Detective Joy Park, a woman with a big secret causes friction between our couple. COMPLETELY AU, Some Scenes and events used to enhance the story,

I don't own Castle; I use the characters for amusement purposes only, except the ones I create.

Also, we take MANY liberties with the timeline from Canon and use events from other Canon episodes to make this a more believable fiction, thanks.

Chapter 18

Crosby Street Hotel

79 Crosby St, New York City, NY 10012-3905

1 Hour 15 minutes later,

/_/

Rick had been so polite with everyone in line, these were the VIP's but it didn't matter to him, a fan was a fan and deserved to be treated with respect. He had just pushed his chair under the signing table when Joy approached took his hand and whispered in his ear. He smiled, and kissed her forehead, and disappeared. Kate was silently hoping that he was sincere when he agreed to talk but he had gone down a hallway and behind a door.

A few minutes later she jumped, almost spilling her second drink when she heard his voice,

"Kate, I have almost an hour is you want to talk?" Rick asked,

She turned, knowing she was embarrassed at just how much his voice impacted her, and tried to read him, as she had earlier. Nothing but politeness, and no emotion showing that he was either overjoyed or dreading this talk.

"Sure Rick, I saw you disappear and I thought you might have forgotten" Kate got out weakly,

"No, just a nature call and a visit to the bar that hides my good stuff for a drink, I'm ready now," she noticed his three fingers swirling in a glass with one small ice cube. "Shall we go, there's a private spot we can talk without interruption?" he asked gently,

"Sure, I'd like that" as he placed his hand in the small of her back and led her back through the door he had disappeared through, his touch sent shivers down her spine, just his touch, the smell of that cologne that always drove her crazy.

They walked past the main bar, Rick asked her softly, "Do you need a refill before we start?"

"No, but water would be great, thanks" as the bartender produced a bottle of water and Rick escorted her to the elevators. He inserted his room key and pressed R and the elevator started up until they reached the roof. He had a table and two chairs sitting there,

"I know you need your privacy, well I do if not you," Rick said softly,

"Yes, I do, and thank you for thinking about that, this works great, the stars will be coming out soon, but I know you have the general signing to get to, so I won't hold you too long. I guess I wanted a chance to apologize in person, I know I did somethings that bothered you, and without any excuse or reason, I just want to say I am sincerely sorry. Please believe me, if I could get a do-over, I would handle everything totally different." Kate rushed out,

"Well, thanks for the apology, but it's all water over the damn, at least now. I have to admit I was shocked when Bob told me about the 5 letters you wrote, he didn't read them to me in their entirety, except for a few passages that had him upset.

"There's no use in discussing past history, I just wish you had come to me, told me the same things you put into the letters, I wouldn't have embarrassed you or myself by trying to convince you that I was much more than you what read in the papers. As I said, it all worked out, so no harm, no foul." Rick said, almost emotionless,

"Rick, there is harm, and there was a foul, when Roy told me you were transferred to Robbery, I couldn't figure out what I had done to make you so angry, then he brought out the letters. I promise you; they were all written in the first three months you were here, afterward, I grew to count on you as a valuable team member, and right before you left my partner" Kate confessed,

Rick laughed, "Partner? Is that what I was Kate? Think back, you had the thing with Sorensen, no big deal he was your ex, that could be expected, especially working a similar case that you both had in the past.

"Then came Tom, or as I describe as the Demming Debacle, I have no idea why you found it necessary to lie to me when I invited you as a friend to my place in the Hamptons, all you had to say was I'm with Tom, I would have backed off. There wasn't any need for your PDA's on the stairwells, or the treatment you allowed him and Esposito to dish out before I left for the summer, I was contemplating not coming back then.

"Bob talked to me, he told me about the letters you had written that had finally made their way up to his desk, 'hostile work environment, really?" he asked, as Kate's face turned crimson and she lowered her head.

"I apologized to Bob and told him I would end the shadowing arrangement, but he told me no, that there were things brewing that Roy, as a friend asked me not to quit, to hang in there for a few weeks when I came back. I had no idea what he was talking about, so I called Roy about a week before I was due back to tell him I wouldn't be returning. That's when he told me that Commissioner Boyle had reassigned me to Robbery and the new lead detective would need my help more than ever,"

"Is that when Detective Park showed up? Rick, I wish you would have told me, I mean we were partners." Kate whined,

"You wish I had told you what? That your letters had finally hit home, and I was being transferred, I would have thought you would have had a party. When I returned, I heard about your blowout with Demming, and it wasn't surprising which detective got suspended, you don't have a lot of fans in case you don't know and Roy was reprimanded for that action. You won't hear it again, but it was one reason he chose to retire.

"By that time, you were already dating that suit from Wall Street, the stockbroker, so why would I talk to you about my personal life, you were the one who constantly blasted me about keeping your private life, private, so I did. Detective Park and I have a long history, and we are very close friends,"

Kate knew it was wrong to say it the moment it was out of her mouth but she couldn't resist it "Really good friends, her moving in with you in days after relocating to New York? Then relocating with you to California when the rest of your friends didn't even know you had moved, much less taken your live-in companion with you? Is that what the kids are calling really good friends these days?" She saw the look on his face, and knew she had really stepped into it this time,

"Look Rick, I'm sorry, that was out of line, I mean it's none of my business, and I shouldn't have said anything, I apologize."

Rick stared at her for a long minute, the look he gave her she had never seen before, he paused then spoke "Is that part of the anger about Kevin, or are you still pissed off about your Training Officer? I talked Joy into not charging Royce with a felony, not only for him but for you as well.

"That wouldn't have looked so good, evidence going missing from the file the afternoon you spent with him in your bed. I'm sure you wouldn't want to have to defend those charges in public. Joy finally agreed not for you, Royce, or me, but for Roy to not have to face disciplinary action which he would have if it had come to light.

"Why do you care about my personal life? You're dating the Wall Street dude, why would you care about my personal life? YOU of all people lived with us when your apartment exploded and know not everything is as those on the outside of the situation want to make it appear. Did you talk to Kevin? Royce? I'm sure they could tell you things I'm not going to, but you're perfectly free to form your own conclusions without fact if you want to"

"Rick, I said, I was sorry, I don't want this talk to end up like that, I mean I've missed you, missed you being here to talk to, to run cases by," She said,

"How many cases have you solved since you were reassigned to the Academy? I hope you realize this is your last opportunity to be prepared to lead others, Weldon pulled rank on Boyle who wanted to fire you, even without knowing about Royce and your escapade and your loss of evidence.

"The academy is supposed to give you the chance to learn, well actually force you to interact with others on neutral terms, not in the Kate Beckett Universe." He said gently but firmly, letting Kate he knew the entire story and the hypocrisy she had demonstrated with him and his dates.

"Rick, this is not the talk I wanted to have, I mean"

"Kate, wait, I don't want to hear a lot of noise from you. I can live with every decision I have made, including Joy, can you say the same thing? If you had talked to Kevin as a friend, you would have known he had huge medical bills he was trying to pay off by working a second job, he doesn't need to do that now. Javi, well that one is on you for not controlling him as one of your direct reports.

"Royce, if you have talked to him in the last few weeks, you would know he fell into a pile of dog dung and came out smelling like a rose, he was awarded the 3% reward for the return of the jewels he was attempting to steal. Finally, you, you have the Captain position waiting for you, IF you learn how to work with people, and how to lead.

"I'm not sure what more I could have done to exit gracefully, and to protect those I thought of as a friend at one time, regardless of how they treated me. It's not about how do I get back at you, or revenge Kate, it's about doing the right thing even though you know you are going to catch hell for it.

"I can live with my actions, maybe you can as well, or you will in time. It's not my concern anymore, is there anything else you want to say, time is getting short before the public launch is set to start." Rick asked looking at her directly in the eyes,

"Rick, please don't kill us off in the book, I haven't read the advance copy because I was afraid of how you were ending us, I know you're Rook, and I'm Nikki, and the only thing I ask is please don't kill either of us off, please. I don't think I could take that, losing you is bad enough, but if"

"Kate, you never lost me. We were never a couple, we never had more than a working relationship, I tried to, several times and once I thought we did, but you proved that wrong time and again. You can't lose what you never had, you made damn sure that never happened. Good Luck with the Wall Street guy, I have to get back. I think you know the way." As he tossed back the three fingers in his glass and set it on the table and walked away swiftly.

Kate sat down at the chair, looking up at the sky, the stars were coming out a little brighter now, had they really spent almost an hour talking to get where they wound up? Tears came to her eyes, he hadn't been rude, he hadn't even been sarcastic as she had been, but he had changed. He knew what he would accept, and she had a long way to go to meet those standards. He had been right about Kevin, almost everyone at the precinct knew of his and Jenny's condition, why hadn't she?

Her thoughts turned to Royce, she didn't know what embarrassed her more, the fact that she had slept with him, or that she had been so blind to allow evidence to be compromised on her watch, hell from her desk. She thought back to the day she chastised Rick about his date from the previous night and sleeping with her. At least he hadn't broadcasted it all through the precinct, leaving for lunch and not coming back. What the hell was that, High Schoolers cutting school? She was sure it hurt Rick, looking back at it now,

She was trying to compose herself when she heard the door open and there stood Roz.

"Hey, how are you doing Kate?" She asked, glancing at the table and seeking Rick's empty glass sitting there.

"I've had better days Roz; how did you know where to find me?" Kate asked,

"Joy asked me to check on you, she knew by the look on Rick's face things didn't end well, for one or both of you, so she mentioned to me that I should check on you," Roz said,

"She's perfect, fucking perfect. She always does the right thing, she's got Rick trusting her with a huge part of his company, I never heard of her before she showed up at the precinct, and he twirled her around as he kissed her in Roy's office, now they seem inseparable, hell even Alexis loves her." Kate said dejectedly,

"Well, do you want to hear my comments or just serve as your sounding board?" Roz asked,

"Tell me what you think Roz, really, I'm trying, even at the academy I've been able to move past some hurtful history, but with Rick, I'm not sure what to do, I mean he's polite, but he's not the old Rick," she said sadly,

"The old Rick being the one who followed you blindly, even when you paraded other men in front of him, let's see, Will, Tom, oh that was a real winner Kate, what the hell were you thinking? Then came the hotshot heart surgeon, even I remember some of the put-downs Kate, you were very hurtful to Rick, and I still don't know why. Now, you're dating some Wall Street"

"STOP, please Roz, I know what I did, and I'm not dating anyone now, he broke up with me over the phone" Kate blurted out,

"Well, that had to hurt, usually you're the one dumping not getting dumped." Roz just said aloud,

Kate's face turned red, now understanding just how transparent her life, and actions had been to her co-workers.

"Roz, can you answer a question for me, I mean if it's too personal, I understand," Kate said,

"Well you can ask, if I answer it partly, completely, or not at all will depend on what you ask" She replied,

"Well right after we got word that Javi was gone, Roy told me to pick three candidates as his replacement, but Anne Hastings was off the list. I pressed him on why, he told me that when he originally approached her about the promotion, she told him as long as he would guarantee that she wouldn't wind up working for me, or on my team.

"I don't recall any conflict between her and me, and have no clue why she would turn down an opportunity to interview for a promotion, hell I'm not Atilla the Hun, am I?" Kate asked,

"Kate, how much of a background search did you do on your heart surgeon, I know you had a full investigation conducted on Rick, how much did you do on Josh Davidson?" Roz asked,

"He told me he had just accepted the position as Senior Cardiovascular resident at Presbyterian Hospital and was new in New York, we met on the Harley run, you know that Roz" Kate seemed a little perturbed,

"He TOLD you, what did your background check reveal? Was he single, had he been or still was married? Did he have any kids, where did he come from? All simple questions Kate, so what did the background check reveal?" Roz pressed,

"I never did one, I didn't see a need to do so. He's a freaking heart surgeon Roz, not a delivery boy" Kate defended her non-action.

"Well, your friends did, actually it was Esposito, who started it before he left, and handed me the paperwork on his way out the door. You should read it sometime, I think you'll find your answer in there Kate."

"What's that supposed to mean Roz, you have info, spill it, now" Kate demanded

"You do know I don't work for or with you anymore don't you, if you want information, you ask nicely and I'll consider it, after all, it's a private life you are so adamant about keeping private" Roz reminded her about her ability to hold everything going on in her life close and never shared.

"OK, Roz, I get it, I'm sorry, would you please let me know what in the world I could have done to Anne, and what does Josh have to do with any of this?" Kate had calmed down and asked nicely,

"Well, remember when Roy found out that Anne had been a detective in her last police job when she was married, but when she got divorced, she changed her name back to her maiden name and started at the bottom, any guess what her married name was Kate?" Roz asked,

"How would I know that Roz, come on, please give me the facts." Kate pleaded

"Davidson, she was married to Josh Davidson for 5 years, the story was she supported his ass all the way through medical school, even though she caught him cheating, and he decided to move to New York without ever talking to her.

"She divorced him, and he fought her, the entire last year of school, finally Anne signed off, she released all claims to his future income, knowing it would be sizeable, just to get out of the marriage. The case was still making it through the courts when you met him, so technically he was still married. Anne changed her name and moved here to be with her Aunt and Uncle, and joined the force as a Patrol Officer just to have a job.

"You want to know why she wouldn't work with you? Well, you were fucking her husband before they were officially divorced, which she said she didn't care about, since he was lousy in bed anyway, but your lack of checking things out just made her not want anything to do with you.

"The first friend she made at the 12th was Rick, and she hated how you mistreated him. I think she said if anyone deserved the two-timing bastard Davidson, it would be you. Not a glowing review from a co-worker Kate" Roz said as Kate sat stunned.

"I'm going to enjoy the party, let me know if you want to share the limo or I can get a cab, see you later Kate" and Roz was gone as Kate sat there realizing what an ass she had been, was it too late to make things right?

TBC