Coming Out or Going In
by Castlefan6
Authors Note: From a fan prompt (Castle was lent out to Robbery temporarily to work cold cases while Demming is on suspension. Lead Detective Joy Park, a woman with a big secret causes friction between our couple. COMPLETELY AU, Some Scenes and events used to enhance the story,
I don't own Castle; I use the characters for amusement purposes only, except the ones I create.
Also, we take MANY liberties with the timeline from Canon and use events from other Canon episodes to make this a more believable fiction, thanks.
Chapter 27
Wallingford Dr,
Beverly Hills, CA 90210
/_/
Kate almost fainted, here was this beautiful lady living in the same home, make that mansion as Rick, the same lady that had talked to Roz, and arranged for her to spend her time here, not miles away. That didn't sound like a jealous lover, unless she was waiting to kill her in her sleep, wait, she had already taken a nap, oh well, no time like now to find out what's going on she thought.
"OK Joy, I've got water, I'm so confused with what's going on, I don't dare introduce alcohol into our conversation. I have to say thank you before we go any farther, you went out of your way to make me feel welcome, and to, well, orchestrate a meeting with Rick. I guess I'm, eh I"
"Kate, come out and say it, you want to know what my motive is, why is this lady helping me try to work things out with the man she loves? Well, the short answer is I love Rick, I have since college." She watched as Kate's face fell, then she quickly added,
"BUT I know as well as he that we could never work out, we're fire and ice when it comes down to it," Joy added with a sad smile,
"I don't understand Joy, you're a beautiful woman, just his type, you love him, and everyone knows he loves you, so I guess I'm having trouble understanding what I'm doing here, and why you think you two wouldn't work out. I mean you're so kind, what am I missing?" Kate asked,
"Well to start with, he's a man," Joy said and stopped,
Kate looked confused, her face screwed into a what the hell does that mean look,
"I can tell by your face that you haven't figured it out yet Kate, that's one reason why I wanted to talk to you one on one until recently I was 100% lesbian, Rick changed that, and since you had your lovers going on at the same time, that's all I will confess to about that. I guess my status has changed to bi-sexual, but not really, Rick is the only man I have or would ever sleep with.
"Rick can tell you whatever he pleases, but I'll confess, until your letter, I was in his bed as much as I was mine. I don't regret one moment of that time, it was what we both needed until he had gotten to a spot where he could begin to think about forgiving you, he was hurt badly, Kate. I moved to my own suite the day he received your letter and decided it was time to try to forgive.
"I hope you will take that and understand, just as your physical needs were being met by, well that's your business but by some men whose very thought of them touching you hurt Rick to even think about. Rick and I made love to each other, because we love each other, BUT I can never be in love with him like a wife should or must be, I can see by your face you're hurt and confused.
"The confusion I can understand and I'll do my best to explain, but as for the hurt, Kate, you were doing your thing, never thinking for a moment just how much Rick loved you. You know he had been celibate since the second year he met you, something to do with some movie star and hurting you, I never got the entire story, and being truthful, I didn't care.
"When I was in his bed, he made love to me, only me, and if that hurts you, it's time for you to deal with it before he gets home. Everyone on this earth has needs Kate, I was hurting, so was he, we didn't plan it, but neither of us was attached or even dating so when the first time happened, we talked. I made him promise that he wouldn't stop working on trying to have a relationship with you, he may have made love to me, but it was you he talked to at night in his dreams. She silently handed Kate a box of tissues to wipe the tears from her eyes then continued.
"I'll share my story with you, it goes all the way back to college, when my fiancé, Cathy Foer was standing next to me the night Rick first hit on me. He had dated Kyra Blaine for three years, I and all of the girls thought they were a done deal then we saw Rick alone on campus and heard that Kyra had transferred to some school in London, and broke up with him.
"It was about three months after that he finally showed up at one of the parties, and hit on me, of course, he had a few drinks for courage first. He came on with some lame pick up line, and I countered with I knew who he was, and my fiancé and I were sorry for the rotten deal Kyra had given him. He was shocked when I introduced Cathy to him, but he wasn't judgmental, he accepted us both from the first moment.
"From that moment on, Cathy and I had a friend, a brother, a defender who always made sure we were treated fairly, even by some of the hob knobs on campus. We did almost everything together, and it got around that we were a threesome, having mind-blowing sex. Rick laughed, he never treated us any differently, other than not hitting on us. He never corrected anyone so he was the STUD," she paused and for the first time she saw Kate smile,
"He never lost that Joy, he always made sure those without a voice always had representation, one of the things that made me love him. I never knew, never had any idea of how wealthy he was, I didn't care, since I wouldn't fit his standard anyway." Kate said sadly,
"You passed judgment on yourself for Rick and you couldn't have been farther from the truth. He doesn't care about all this, this is really an investment for him, not for a show like most celebrities. He sees behind the curtain Kate, even tries to see past the faults, but even he has his breaking points." Joy said,
"I know, I found out the hard way, but the joke was on me. I kept telling myself I wasn't ready for a relationship it would hurt too much, I wound up hurting more than I ever have in my life because of my own stupidity. I know you love him Joy and thank you for telling me about the physical part of the relationship, I won't ask Rick, it's not my business.
"I'll be honest, it does hurt, but not nearly as much as I'm sure I've hurt him. He was far from New York and as you said, you fell into the physical needs, it didn't hurt that you both loved each other enough to think long term and plan a strategy for it. No woman ever wants to hear about another woman being in the arms, much less bed of the man she loves, but you said it was me he dreamed of, I'm sorry if that hurt you Joy." Kate said sincerely,
Joy smiled, "Well, I see for myself Kate, you have changed. Thank you for that, it would have hurt more if I hadn't pushed him towards you, I love him more than anyone I ever have other than Cathy, but we know we can only take it so far, for both of our sakes" Joy said,
"Joy, you mentioned your fiancé and how close the three of you were, may I ask what happened, I mean don't say anything if you don't want to, it's personal I know," Kate said softly,
"It's OK Kate, I can talk about it now, three years after we graduated, right before we were going to be one of the same-sex marriages in New York, she developed cancer of the brain. Rick, God Bless him, tried everything, he researched for hours, called everywhere trying anything to extend her life, her quality of life, but we lost her 9 months later.
"We can only thank God that it was painless since cancer had destroyed her ability to feel pain. Unfortunately, it also destroyed her memories, as well as her sight and ability to speak in the last week, but Rick, he never left me, not for a second for the first four months.
"Finally, he had to go to Los Angeles for a potential offer on his book, it didn't work out, but he met Meredith at some party. Well, you know the story of that, 11 months later he was back in New York sleeping on my couch, Alexis was sharing my bedroom, so if you wonder why there is such closeness between us all, well"
"No, No Joy, thank you that fills in so many blanks I had. I'm sorry to bring up bad times for you, I know how painful it can be" she said softly
"You mean your mom, Rick told me about it. I think that's one reason he took so much crap, sorry Kate but I'm not going to sugar coat this, he took more from you hoping he could love you through your grief as he did me. I'm sorry you didn't see what I did, no matter how bad things got, I had Rick, I'll always have Rick as my best friend. I can tell you now, that unless you accept that, well,"
"I know Joy, if I can't accept you in his life, then there's no place for me, I respect that, I do. It will take some time to get over the thoughts and vision of you having the part of him I have longed for on so many lonely nights, regardless of who I was with.
"It was Rick, it was always Rick I loved. I have to allow him time to forgive me, not the other way around. I guess I should be glad that it was with you, not some floozy of the month. I can accept it much better now that you've told me about the timing, thank you for that and for being one of my biggest supporters" Kate said softly,
"Kate, I'd like to take credit for that, I would, but just being blunt, it wasn't for you, it was for Rick. If you ever hurt him after I have pushed him towards you, well, I"
"Joy, I know, and whatever the reason was, thank you, it's kept my slim hope alive. I just hope he's still in love with me, at least some small part, I don't know what I would do if he rejects me forever." She said as tears formed,
"You would deal with it, just like you deal with everything in life, Kate. I'm not telling you to become his floor mat, just be flexible, and love him as he loves you, it's not hard, believe me. Cathy was jealous at first, but when she knew she wasn't going to make it, she called Rick, told him what she wanted, and asked him to take care of me. He has, and I will him, you're not competition Kate, you're family if you take it and I hope you do."
Kate yawned, and Joy looked up at the clock, it was after 1:00 AM,
"Kate, you better get some sleep, hopefully, if things go well you won't tomorrow, don't worry the house is soundproof and my room in on the lower floor, all the way across the floor. I didn't trust myself once I knew he was going to try to work things out with you, so I moved from your room to that one." She smiled,
"Good night Joy, Thanks for everything, especially for loving Rick when I wasn't around or I was too fucking stupid to do so, I'll see you in the morning,
XxX
Kate laid in a huge bed, on sheets with thread counts she couldn't even imagine and took in the ambiance of the room. A gentle light from the moon was just shining in her window, acting as a natural night light, soothing, gentle light, almost like her day had been since she first spoke to Joy when she met her at the limo, she had gone out of her way to make her feel welcome.
Now, in a few hours the real test would come, how would Rick react? Would he be angry with Joy? Would he throw her out before she had an opportunity to show him her journal? She knew she would never get all of the words out once she saw him.
She thought back to the kind gentleman on the flight out, and the young lady telling her it was going to be all right, two strangers but they had supplied a greatly needed boost of confidence when she needed it more. She allowed her mind to return to the first night she had spent at the loft after the bomb almost killed her, it would have if not for Rick.
She couldn't sleep that night either and made her way to the kitchen for a glass of milk, or something to calm her, and saw Rick sitting in his office, just staring out over the city. What had he been thinking? Was it hope, or did she pass on some signal that she had tried so hard to hide? He was conflicted, as she saw his patented hand through his hair, and then on his chin. Something was really bothering him.
She had started once to approach him, to tell him some things that she had since written in her journal but lost her nerve and in her haste had dropped a glass, forcing him to come running out of his office. He had been so polite, so kind, and finally convinced her that warm milk with just a little coco would send her right to sleep. He had been right, but it was more his soothing voice than any liquid.
Just as his voice had that night, her memory of it, allowed her to float off to a pleasant sleep, one not filled with sex scenes of him and Joy doing the deed for the first time since he had left. She could never blame him, no matter how much it hurt that another woman had felt his touch, his loving gestures, hell even the animalistic nature of him during some sessions.
She finally realized that Joy and he were two people who loved each other, knowing full well, they were a round peg and square hole in soulmates capability, but needing to be loved, to be made love to. Joy didn't rub it in her face but she did level with her woman to woman just what she had been missing.
It was touching to hear that Joy relocated to another section of the mansion, castle, home, whatever this beautiful structure was the moment Rick had read her letter, not many women would have, she wasn't even sure she would have herself. She slept peacefully for over four hours straight, something she hadn't done in, well she couldn't remember.
As she opened her eyes, she saw the time on her phone that read 09:07 AM, and jumped out of bed before she realized, it was really actually only 6:07 AM in California, she had kept her phone on NY Time since she was never good with time zones. She slipped into the bathroom, and then to the shower that she didn't want to leave. The shower head was almost like a hidden masseuse the way it beat on her neck, shoulders, and back relieving all of the tensions.
Finally, she dressed in casual shorts and top and made her way down to the sitting area, where the kitchen was right off. Joy was up and greeted her with a cheery voice,
"Good Morning Kate, why are you up so early, don't tell me the damn time zones don't let you adjust either" she smiled,
"No, I always have the internal clock go off, so I never change my phone, years of habit, I guess. I hope I'm not disturbing you Joy; you were up late last evening as well." Kate smiled,
Joy walked over and placed a warm bear claw and her coffee just the way Rick had brought it to her every day for, well, she looked up and saw Joy smile,
"I told you Kate, Rick and I talked about everything, I hope you feel welcome. When Kevin and Jenny come out each month, they stay in the guest house behind us, but always show up here for breakfast" she laughed
"Kevin and Jenny come out every month? I'm sorry I didn't know, am I interrupting anything Joy, I mean I could always go to a hotel" She said sadly, then she heard a voice from behind her, a man's voice
"Like hell you will, everyone stays at the Castle when they come to California Boss, it's good to see you" she felt herself being picked up off the ground and twirled landing in a hug, first form Kevin then Jenny,
"It's good to see you guys as well, but you're here to work, I don't want to be a bother," Kate said weakly,
"Kate, Kevin and I spend about a day, to a day and a half planning, the remainder of the week is a chance to catch up, learn news from back home, and occasionally do something crazy and party" Joy laughed
"Kate, I love my kid, but I look forward to this relief period as much as Grandma and Auntie do, they fight over who will watch her. We're glad you're here, and well for what it's worth, we're pulling for you both" Jenny said as she hugged her,
"So, it's time for breakfast, Kate please follow me," Joy said as she led them to a huge room Kate had missed on her initial tour, there was a "little" breakfast? It was a buffet, a complete breakfast buffet set up with everything from juices, fruits, dry and hot cereals, and a chef standing by to cook your eggs or omelet to order.
"This is a little breakfast Joy? What the hell does it look like when you throw a party? What happens to all this food, we surely can't eat this all?" Kate asked
Joy smiled, "Kevin, you want to take this one?"
Kevin smiled, "That was the first question we asked Kate, but there's a huge homeless shelter, not more than 20 miles from here, once Claude, the chef is sure we are done, his entire staff pack up and cook breakfast for the residents there. Rick has been so generous that his staff who used to have to sneak food, now sit and have a complete meal and then take food home to their families.
"You see them smiling, that's sincere, and whatever you do, never say a bad word about Senor Rick. Everyone out there will fight you, to them, he is more than an employer, he's a person of great honor and respect, or persona de gran resperto y honor as they would say. "he smiled with his pitiful imitation of the Spanish accent.
"Same Rick, same big heart, always thinking of others," Kate said softly with a tear in her eye.
"Come on let's get breakfast so some of us can get to work, Rick will be home around ten, so we hope to have a plan to show him." Joy said,
Kate's body froze up, as much as she tried to hide it, Jenny walked over and hugged her, whispering in her ear, "He still loves you, Kate, it's going to be fine"
Kate smiled weakly, "I hope you're right, Jenny, God, I pray you are"
TBC