AN: Thank you to serenity1006, Anony, and April-Showers82 for reviewing. I know a lot of my readers are finding it hard because this story is taking a while, but I promise its getting there, just keep with me.
Okay, so obviously anyone on this site has either read or watched New Moon to be reading this fanfiction, so I'm going to skip over a little bit. The story follows the same timeline as the book/movie; birthday party at the Cullens, papercut incident, Edward being distant with Bella, breakup in the woods a few days later. I'm going to pick up the story from where Bella is in a catatonic state in the woods, after Edward and Bella break up (In the woods near the Cullen's house, as there's no Charlie's house), as I don't think it's necessary to copy out what happened when you should all be aware of the story line and it just wastes your time and my energy. So, please excuse the small time jump, and enjoy the fanfic from this point.
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Chapter Fifty One: Gone with the Wind.
He's gone. He's finally realised he deserved better. That I wasn't good enough for him. It was over; he was over. He was gone.
In my desperation, I had followed in his invisible trail. I couldn't stop myself, tell myself it was impossible. As long as I walked forward, kept searching, I'd find…I didn't know. All I knew was if I stopped, if I gave up, I'd have to face…I'd have to acknowledge that…I'd have to face the reality of my loss. The knowledge ate away at my chest, ripping at the wound left behind. But I couldn't stop. I refused to stop, even as my feet tripped and branches tore at my hands and arms and face. If I stopped, I'd have to give in to the truth.
He was gone.
Suddenly, I felt the forest floor under my hands, the slick mulch coating my bleeding fingers. Unable to push myself up again, all of my energy draining into the ground, my body slumped to the ground. A weight too heavy to carry any longer crushed me, encompassing my mind in a protective white noise and my sight with blurs of black and grey. The denial and fight flooded away from me, as the hours turned into minutes and the seconds turned into hours.
My tears soaked the bracken beneath my cheek as thoroughly as the rain did, as it splashed dully around me. The cold wind rippled through my coat and I hugged my knees to my chest, as I hiccupped a breath into my lungs. But I couldn't feel the cold or the rain or the wind, it was as if nothing happened. As if nothing ever happened. Nothing existed anymore, not to me. There was a gaping hole in my chest, weeping pain and heartache. The agony of it stole my mind, my emotions, my every thought. All that was left was a vast wasteland where my heart used to be, a black hole festering in the remains of my love.
Above me, the trees hid the dark night. No stars broke through and the moon was no longer shining. It had been eclipsed and darkness lay in its wake. The irony was missed as my mind grew numb and my eyes closed. I didn't want to see the new moon. I didn't want to see anything. Our future was gone. He was gone. I was gone.
Then, there was a snuffling sound. It broke through the oblivion of my mind, startlingly loud and close. It sounded big, like a large animal. I wondered if I should feel afraid or comforted. I didn't feel either – just numb. A vague notion passed through my mind, that I should move or speak or…nothing, I did nothing. It didn't matter anymore. Nothing mattered anymore.
The animalistic noise disappeared, giving way to leaves rustling and loud curses from a distance. It sounded familiar, like a memory being teased from the recesses of my idled thoughts, yet sounded strange to my mind. I couldn't comprehend the noise; understand its implications, as I continued to lay there.
"Bella!" The curses turned in a soft word in a deep voice, as a shadow fell over me. It loomed over me, hulking and warm, for a hesitant moment. Slowly, he crouched at my side and touched my shoulder, "Bella? Are you hurt?"
Somehow, I found the energy to open my eyes and look up at the person intruding on my hell. For a second, my eyes stared dazedly at the familiar features. Dark, closely cropped hair. Concerned, brown eyes. Dominating, muscular body hastily dressed in shorts. I knew this person. I knew he preferred chocolate over blueberry muffins. I knew he had a quick temper.
"Paul." My mouth formed the words, but no sound exited my lips. Several expletives were spat from his in response to my pathetic reply, before he scooped me into his hot arms, while his eyes did a quick examination of my lethargic body.
"Are you hurt?" He repeated, cradling me tightly as he began running.
I barely felt the motion of travelling, his grip holding me secure to his broad chest. The heat from his body was thawing my rain numbed fingertips and I whimpered as it not only thawed my extremities but my mind too. Mistaking my pain, he held me closer, swearing under his breath. He must have thought I was physically hurt, the mud on my palms barely covering the telling scent of my blood. I couldn't summon the thought of mind to reassure him that I felt no pain. No physical pain, at least. The pain drowning me was the cold, unforgiving agony of heartache.
"Bella!" Sam's voice broke the night around us, a tortured roar, as shuffling echoed around us and Sam suddenly appeared beside Paul, "What happened to her?"
"I don't know. She just keeps saying 'he's gone'. But I can smell blood." Paul reported bleakly. I hadn't realised I was saying those treacherous words out loud.
"She's still human." Sam said it as a statement, not a question, but Paul nodded. They must have feared they had broken the Treaty and turned me, if only they knew that future was no longer for me. My body curled in on itself, trying to protect itself from any more pain, as the hole in my chest flared with the icy reminder.
Without breaking their pace, Paul handed me over to Sam. His anxious expression registered in my mind and I burrowed my face into his chest as an emotion familiar to guilt tried to infiltrate my mind. Deafening silence fell and my eyes closed again.
"I'll run ahead and give Emily the heads up to get the first aid box ready." Paul murmured, "Don't let her fall asleep, she might have concussion."
"Bella, wake up." Sam jostled me gently and I prised my eyes open to look up to his concerned expression, "Come on, Bells, we're nearly there now. Stay awake a little while longer." But my eyes wouldn't obey him, they slowly slid shut again, prompting panic to leak into his voice, "No, Bella, don't go to sleep. You need to keep your eyes open. Please, Bella, stay with me." I couldn't. My mind was being dragged into the depths of numb relief and I allowed it to take me into its smothering arms.