In High Hrothgar courtyard, admist a calm weather. The Greybeards stood in the courtyard while the Dragonborn reflected as he looked down the mountain. The Dragonborn had just finished negotiating the truce. His name was Constantine Aurelian Dragaélogo. He was an Imperial(Nibenese). He wore Studded Dragonscale armour just made to be lighter with out all the bulk. He held the sword of the crusader on his scabbard, on his back he had a ebony bow along with it's arrow pouch and a Dragonbone sword. It was recently created. It had dragon heads on guard and pommel which where the entire hilt was made of ebony. He had kite-diamond in middle of the crossguard. It was forged with lot's of magic and had it's name(Dovah Runes) embedded in it's fuller. It was called Dragon Slayer's Wrath or Dovah Kriidro Bah.
The Dragonborn himself was rather strange looking to the Nords. He was a man don't get this wrong. He looked like a boy but he had delicate and fine features. His skin was fair and pretty much only the finest porcelain could start to rival it. He was handsome but it bordered between cute for a good part of the time. His eyes where emerald and his hair dark-brown.
His build was tallish as he was 6 feet tall. He was lean and fit. It wasn't all was this way at one point he was very ugly and short. But alas puberty and Mara and Dibella's blessings hit him like a Giant. What turned most people off was his movement to the regular he was simply prancing around like a mad men and his mannerism where very fast and weird. It had some truth, he did move very fast but his mannerism where very regal, majestic, grand, imposing, kingly, glorious and elegant all at the same time. Even to the trained eye these movements where very extravagant
I firmly gripped the Sword of the crusader and I continued to see the world below.
"You know when I was younger I was ugly...very ugly they used to call me Spurce Lutulente. I think that mean't disgusting trash. Because how I looked" I spoke outloud. "And maybe I'm still a Spurce Lutulente".
"Everyone in there childhood was ugly young Dragonborn. What matters now is the present" Argneir said as he...well I assume he's trying to cheer me up.
"I guess" I shrugged it off. "Then I started to grow up, I got taller and my hair was constantly changing hair colour along with my eyes. Worse part was that I became 'handsome'." I quickly explained. "In what way tough? The only thing I got was people making fun of me. Especially from Nords and Bretons" I remembered it all.
"People hate what they don't undestand...Paarthurnax is an example" Arngeir stated. I stood silent. "Indeed. The Blades had tried to have me kill him but I chosed life over death"
"You think I did the right thing today? Denying both factions any appeasements?" I asked in my small voice. "You simply told these men of war the situation...I never expected Ulfric to do that. I understand the situation with the Dominion but not to that point of true hate" Arngeir told me.
"Elewen coming. The Empire sure is held under the throat by the dominion" I tought. "This truce won't last as soon as Alduin falls they shall resume this war" Arngeir stated the real facts.
"I want to save them all, I truely wish I could. But I can't no matter how fast I am, no matter all my strength, not even with all my powers...To have so much power and yet to be so powerless. In Highrock I learned you can't save them all". "Many of my battle-brothers died helping me to retrieve something I lost and killed". The pain resurfaced. My heart started to pump, my stomach felt empty and just ached. My breath was heavy and my head pulsed.
Arngeir didn't speak again. "I want to save the Empire but I want to help Skyrim too. I agree with both the Empire and Stormcloaks...I was a Knight of Highrock and a Legionary. Yet I stand as I see the Thalmor simply wait for the Empire to bleed dry" I told. Why? I could stop them all but I was always weak and a coward to use my powers
"Many have died in these Civil Wars, I helped won the High Rock war. I was branded hero, despite killing many. Orders I tought I could trust betrayed me and my fellow Knights, along with there own members. Good men went bad, my loved ones died" I said. I could feel tears fall off my eyes and pass my ears. "I'm a failure, that's what I am. I'm not there paragon of Hope. I'm just a kid of barely seventeen who tought life was an adventure of great honour and selfless duty". I can still remember the word of those two priest of Akatosh which where a lie. "You will be their savior, your strength will be their shield and your will... their sword. You shall remain... unbroken... for your fight... is eternal" It sounded for a man of an unbreakable will and it probably was. Not for a boy who is already going to break.
"I get made fun of by the Nords. I lack proper scars and a proper face. They say that. Sometimes I want to leave it all but I can't. I remember a litany from when I was in Daggerfall. What is your duty?, The Knight commander would ask. We would then say to serve Akatosh's will. The Knight Commander would then ask, what is Akatosh's will?. To fight and die. He would then end by asking us what is death?...It is our duty" I explained to the Greybeards
"I would then take a knife" I took a small throwing knife made of Mithril and started to cut my cheek, I could hear them gasp.
"But they all just heal and never leave a scar" I said as tears started to fall. I felt Arngeir put his hand on my shoulder along with the rest of the Greybeards.
"I can't say much about the matter. Violence is something we left years ago, but we all know what it is to lose a shield-brother" Arngeir said. "People hate what is different to them. You don't owe this world anything. Maybe it is the gods will to let Alduin eat the world or maybe he shall stay in Sovngarde" I wish that was true but I must endure for Tamriel
"Or you can be there hero, there saviour. The light against the dark and maybe one day they shall rise in the sun with you. Or be nothing just a man of this world we call home" Arngeir stated.
I looked to the sky and could see the sun as bleached as it was due to the grey skies. I sighed as I cleaned my tears. "I will be there Hero...I shall endure and sacrifice myself if the need be. That is what a hero does. He takes and endured the decisions no one ca endure" I said.
I spent three days meditating with the Greybeards. My power grew and I felt better. I no longer got mad at the comments of my appearance. Just mild irritations but at then end of it all I think I finally know what I'm worth