AN: Hello readers, firstly, I would like to apologise deeply and sincerely for not updating in so long, I was even shocked when I realised how long it had been. The last few months have been incredibly chaotic and I've barely had time to sleep, never mind write, but I'm hoping to get back into the swing of things again. Thank you for sticking with this fanfiction, I know the pain of slow updates, and I regret inflicting this on you all, but real life unfortunately happens. Also, thank you to my reviewers; April-Showers82, Ana Quinzel, and Anony, I love hearing from all my readers and they are seriously the reason I keep updating, so thank you for sharing your thoughts. I hope you enjoy this next instalment!
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Chapter Fifty Three: Sunshine Awakenings.
Three nights and three days passed in a blur of painful memories haunting my nightmares and Emily forcing me to eat and wash at regular intervals. Emily and Sam sat with me, soothing me as I cried out for people who would never come back, for the person I yearned for most. It was agony, a slow torture. My own mind was my enemy.
On the fourth day, I was awoken by my own whimpering; my cries muffled by my pillow. Internally, I reached for the numb mental blanket that had become the only way to comfort myself in the past few days, as I braced myself for Emily's kind, sympathetic tone to force me to function. All my mind wanted was to hide from my new reality.
Reluctantly, I opened my eyes to see the sun peeking around the edges of the closed bedroom curtains. It was such an unusual sight, I stared in bemusement for a long moment. Bright sunlight was rare in La Push, and it felt even more surreal as I emerged from the dark storm of my thoughts. As I lay there, staring at the golden rays, I found myself wishing to feel the heat of the day on my pale skin. It was the first real thought I had had in days and I felt a deep impulse to follow that thought to fruition.
Easing myself up into a sitting position, I felt my joints pop and creak in protest. I had been lay in a stiff position for far too long, leaving me feeling disjointed and achy. Sliding my feet to touch the hardwood floor, I breathed a quiet sigh. Slowly, my senses began to piece together my room. A soft breeze rustled the leaves outside my window. I could see my clothes had already been laid out for the day, draped carefully over my desk chair. The smell of breakfast wafted through the gap beneath the door. My mouth tasted dry and stale. Curling my toes against the floor, I felt the coolness of the varnished wood. It was so peaceful, I felt my chest flaring, reminding me of why I wouldn't feel the same peace internally for as long as I lived.
But the external peace of my bedroom was soon broken, as I heard voices disturbing the morning quiet downstairs. My head tilted in a curious motion, eyebrows furrowed and lips pursed; Sam and Emily had been so careful to be quiet and respectful these last few days. Two voices drifted up to me, their words muffled by the floorboards. One voice seemed to be more irate than the other softer tone. I surmised Emily must be speaking with someone, as the other voice wasn't deep enough for Sam.
Being careful with my dubious balance, I raised myself to standing and crept to my bedroom door. My toes touched a light line of sunshine stretched across the floor and I could feel a slight warmth as I stepped forward again. Pausing by the door, I turn my ear towards it. Another voice had joined the other two now, sounding stern and very much like Sam. This close to the door, I could make out what they were discussing.
"-still in bed." Emily said firmly, "I'll ask her to call you when she's ready."
"What's that even supposed to mean? I thought she was sick?" A spark of recognition sprung through my mind; Jacob.
"She is sick, Jacob, that is why you can't be here." Sam replied, "Go home."
"I don't care if she's sick, I want to see her." Jake demanded.
"Listen, Jacob, Bella won't want to see you now. She's sleeping, so I suggest you go now, before you wake her." He responded in an authoritative tone.
"No, I'm not going anywhere until I see her."
"Jacob, please, she needs to rest. You need to go home and she'll call you later, if she's feeling well enough." Emily instructed in a calming tone, "Otherwise, I will call you myself and give you an update on how she's doing."
There was a silence downstairs. I could imagine Jake rocking onto his heels as he deliberated whether he was going to argue further or go. Jake was stubborn enough to push the issue further; I wouldn't put it past him to force his way up here. But I also knew how imposing Sam could be, and the combined effect of Emily's soothing voice and Sam's commanding tone was lethal on anyone's free will.
"Go home, Jacob." Sam ordered in a quieter tone, which was no less threatening as his previous. A moment later, the front door closed with a faint click and Sam and Emily began a quiet conversation between themselves.
Without any conscious input, my hand turned the doorknob. Sliding out into the small hallway, I shuffled down the stairs, keeping my eyes on my bare toes. The wood barely strained under my feet, but I knew Sam could hear me descending, and I could feel his eyes assessing me from across the room.
"Bella!" Emily's voice was as radiant as the sun outside my bedroom window, "Would you like breakfast? I was just fixing Sam and I some waffles."
I paused on the last step, unsure of how to continue. Somehow, I had managed to get this far without having to think about what I was to do next, but now my mind needed to respond, and I found myself hovering in a mental abyss. My mind was torn between running back to the safety and ignorance of my room, yet I couldn't force myself to retreat. The world had carried on throughout my days of mourning and it was time I re-joined the living, no matter how reluctant I felt about doing so. I had to do it for Sam and Emily's sake; they had spent far too long pandering to me and pausing and rearranging their own lives to care for me.
"Bella?" Sam's shadow fell over me, warm and reassuring.
"Yes." I croaked, my voice sore from disuse and crying. Coughing dryly, I curled my toes over the edge of the last stair, "Yes, please." Carefully, I stepped onto the floor, feeling grounded for the first time in days.