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Chapter Sixty One: Breakfast Ideas.
"It's a good idea, Sam." Emily's voice drifted up the stairs to me and I paused a few steps from the top.
"I don't know, Em, I think it's too soon." Sam sounded pained and I bit my lip, deducing the topic of their conversation.
"I think it would do some good, make things normal." She insisted, opening a kitchen drawer, "Normal is good."
"Nothing about this is normal. Our lives are not normal." Sam huffed. Crouching down, I perched on the edge of the stair and ducked my head to see between the slats of the stair rail, spying on them.
"It's our normal." I could see her crossing the kitchen to raise his solemn chin and kiss his lips, "Trust me, this would do her some good."
"I'll think about it." His voice sounded gruffer and his hand reached out to her as she danced away from his grip. I heard a low growl of annoyance and Emily let out a bright laugh as she continued working in the kitchen.
"You two sound happy." I said after a moment of silence, standing straight again and making my entrance.
"Aren't we always?" Emily squeezed my shoulder in passing, as she placed a stack of waffles onto the table.
"This looks good." I complimented her upon seeing the breakfast spread she'd laid out, as I joined Sam at the breakfast table.
"I hope it tastes as good, I'm trying a new recipe." Emily sat beside Sam and we began helping ourselves. Taking a waffle and drizzling it with syrup and piling it with strawberries, I took a tentative bite. I chewed thoughtfully, measuring the flavours of the cinnamon and banana, a hint of vanilla. It was good. It tasted really good. The last few days my taste buds seemed to have awoken once more and food became a new experience, and with Emily's constant experimentation, there was always something new to try. I nodded my head and hummed, letting her know I liked this new recipe, as I took a second mouthful.
"It's delicious." Sam agreed, finishing his mouthful and leaning over to leave a sugary kiss on her cheek.
She gasped playfully and rubbed the residue off. This only encouraged him. He began to leave kisses on her temple, her jaw, and her ear, while she giggled and batted him away. Their happy relationship made my stomach churn and I looked down at my breakfast, unable to watch their flirting. My breakfast began to taste stale and I pushed my next square of waffle around my plate awkwardly.
"Bella?" Emily drew me quickly from my thoughts, almost conscious how what their behaviour was doing to me, and I tilted my head up to acknowledge her, "I was thinking of doing a Pack breakfast this weekend...what do you think?" She tagged on the question in a half hopefully and half concerned tone. Sam became tense across from me, his hand gripping the spoon plunged into the whipped cream.
"I think-" I swallowed hard around a treacherous thought threatening to unbalance me, "I think it's a nice idea."
"You do?" She questioned and I could tell she was smiling, "I was thinking we would do a continental spread - I could make that really nice raspberry jam, and maybe these waffles too. What do you say about you making those chocolate doughnuts you make so well?" It had been months since I had made much of anything, never mind chocolate doughnuts. It reminded me of autumn days and memories forgotten – happy memories that had been buried under heavier memories. Memories of beach days, wandering the sands and watching the Pack cheat at games against each other. The corner of my mouth twitched with a smile as these memories ran on a reel through my mind's eye.
"I could do that." I shrugged and focused on carefully cutting another square from my slowly depleting waffle.
"The boys would love your doughnuts. Jared was only saying the other day about them." She enthused, glad that I was finally re-involving myself in Pack activities. I could feel her happiness from across the table. It was nice to find my mind didn't curdle with envy at her positive emotions, even if my mind stung with resentment at that fact too. Sam started to relax and seemed content to observe this new development quietly.
"What about those peach pastries you make? The boys like them too." I suggested, trying to be helpful.
"Yeah, I'll make some of those – we can never make enough pastries with our boys coming over. We'll need to make a bakery's worth just to stop them complaining that they're still hungry!" She laughed and I cracked a smile, "I don't think we have enough in – I'll have to go shopping for more ingredients."
"Do you want me to?" I asked quietly, uncertainly.
"Oh, no, Bella, that's okay, I need to fetch a few things for myself anyway." She reassured me and I nodded, understanding what she meant. She didn't like me shopping for contraception for her and Sam, she said she didn't like the idea of waving it in my face that my brother was having sex in the same house that I lived in – although it would be impossible not to notice they were doing anyway – but she worried it made me uncomfortable. I simply pretended it wasn't happening, despite being all too aware of the fact, "Do you need me to pick up anything for you? Or just the doughnut ingredients?"
"Just the ingredients, thanks." I said, finishing my breakfast, "That was good, Emily, I enjoyed it."
"I'm glad you did." She replied brightly, serving herself a second waffle, "Do you want another too?"
"No, thanks." I sipped my orange juice.
"Are you sure?" Emily offered again, but I shook my head in refusal, "Sam, you'll need to tell the boys to be here at ten o'clock for breakfast or there will be no doughnuts left for them." Sam chuckled and agreed, laying the plans to rest. A thrill of fear and hope shot down my spine and I tried to wash it away with another mouthful of juice.