A/N: This chapter has mentions of self-harm you have been warned. I really want to in this story dive into what was happening in season 6. I have never really seen anyone focus on Luke's POV on this topic, I have seen many showing the issues Lorelai felt through the isolation but not Luke when it is clear to me something more was going on that we were told in the background because Luke was always much more moody and stressed and cranky and always seemed to appear more tired at the end of season 6, not just with Lorelai, we could see how short his temper was in the Martha's vineyard episode. I believe it is very possible Luke was struggling to cope with everything and he was feeling some sort of aniexty not knowing how to deal with everything but because it is Luke he felt way to ashambed and prideful to talk about it with anyone, wanting to deal with it himself, and his fears led to him pushing Lorelai away instead of letting her in as he was trying to hide his mental state. If there are other stories about this let me know I would love to know, I am focusing on both parties and how it affects them but because Lorelai has been done in this instance before I want to dive into Luke more, let me know your thoughts and as always enjoy and review!

Diner Dad, Cute Kid, Coffee Addict, Star's Hollow's Girl

Chapter Five

April rushed into the diner, her school bag on her back and grabbed the lunch Luke had made her off the counter as she started speaking.

"Remember parents evening, you have to be there for six, I have a chess club so will meet you at school instead of coming home," she told her.

"Okay sweet, I will see you later have a good day," he said kissing her cheek as he opened the diner door for her. She left and he waved as she made her way to the bus stop when he noticed Lorelai walking across the road with Christopher, they kissed as they walked, arms wrapped around each other. Luke slammed the door in anger causing the crowd in the diner to look at him. He could feel his heart racing and a tightness in his chest and walked behind the counter.

"Cesear I need to go upstairs for a bit," he told him going behind the curtain without waiting for a response as he felt himself sweating and his heart beating faster. He rushed into the flat just as his breathing got harder. He could feel a tightening in his chest as his lungs struggled to take as much air as they needed. He sat on the sofa scared as he struggled to breathe properly and he could hear his breathing was raspy which worried him as that only happened when one was very bad.

He wished this was his first one, but sadly he had been suffering with panic attacks and anxiety for a while now, no-one knew, not April, not Lis, not Lorelai, he had kept it to himself. When they first started they had been bad but after he started taking medication they had gotten much better, now with the break-up and becoming a full-time dad, his anxiety was sky high again and his medication wasn't working.

He sat back closing his eyes knocking things off the table in the process as he half fell with the effort of trying to breathe, knowing he had to concentrate on his breathing and try to get more air into his lungs, he forced himself with difficultly to breathe in and out incredibly slowly knowing he had to breathe. His breathing started to get less raspy and he stood up to grab a glass of water, knowing water always helped. He pushed himself as hard as he could to breathe until the raspiness faded just as someone knocked.

He touched his chest still not completely over his attack and panting as if he had been running. He opened the door to Cesear.

"You alright Luke?" the man asked

"I been running around the flat looking for something April wants me to to take to parents evening that is all," the man said as he panted. Cesar had no reason not to believe him so handed him the phone.

"Emily for you," the man said

"Emily?" I only know Lorelai's mum who is called Emily" Luke replied confused

"She was insisting to talk to you, please she yelled at me," Cesear said handing him the phone.

"Thanks, I will be down soon," he told him closing the door.

"Hello?" he said rubbing his sore chest

"Luke it's Emily Gilmore," the woman said.

"Oh hi Mrs Gilmore?" he questioned wondering why she was ringing him. He wouldn't put it past her to be ringing him to invite him to a celebration party for the marriage of Christopher and Lorelai to rub it in his face, this was the woman who had forced Christopher to break them up after all.

"You left your jacket here last time you were here, I know it is yours as it is that cheap fabric you always wear," Emily said rudely like she often did.

"Oh right..." he said panting. Emily having a hawk's hearing picked up on it.

"Breath normally when on the phone I don't just want to hear your breathing in my eardrum," the woman said

"Sorry Mrs Gilmore I have been running" he lied

"Running at your age?" she went on

"I have a thirteen-year-old I had to see off to school" he replied "Anyway do you want the address to ship me the jacket? Although you found my number so you must have ways to obtain it," he said wondering how on earth she had got the diner's number.

"I don't have time to go to the post office to send you this cheap jacket if you want it you may come pick it up" Emily replied making things awkward.

"I am a full-time dad and have a diner to run, I don't have time to drive to Hartford to get a jacket, just give it to Lorelai or Rory when they are there" he suggested.

"But you are on bad terms" Emily replied

"They don't have to see me, they can send it to me" Luke replied "I am sorry I must be going," he said as he hanged up not wanting to talk to the woman anymore, especially about a jacket he had only bought for their stupid dinners anyway. At least the shocking call had got his breathing under control and the panting had stopped.

At the inn, Lorelai was in the kitchen talking to Sookie as she often did and complaining about the temperature.

"Why is it like 40 degrees in here?" she moaned fanning herself before removing her jacket.

"The heating is stuck, the dial won't move, Michel said he asked someone to come fix it" Sookie replied adding water to the soup she was making.

"I feel like I fell in the oven" Lorelai complained as she leaned her elbows on the table. Sookie stared.

"What happened to your wrist?" she asked her. Lorelai lifted her arm and saw on her wrist little dots where she had cut, normally they weren't able to be seen to well but as she had been doing it more in her depressive state they weren't getting a chance to heal before she cut again.

"I have no idea, looks like a rash, GG was picking plants in the park the other day, she properly picked poison ivy or something" Lorelai replied gratefully it was formed like a rash so she could excuse it away. Sookie shrugged thinking nothing of her as it appeared to be a bumpy rash.

"Martha did that once, and she had an allergic reaction to it, not fun times" Sookie replied as Lorelai nodded letting out a breath of relief knowing she had to be more careful to hide it because next time someone might get suspicious.