it happens on a day just like any other.
the fan insignia on his back seemed to burn through the fabric right into his skin as he took on blow after blow, responses getting slower by the hit because they've been at this for an hour now.
neither one wanted to give up.
obito casts a wary glance at the boy opposite from him in the field, eyes narrowing in concentration as he anticipates his next move. he moves to grab his kunai, because the other one had a katana and he wasn't going to take any chances.
he doesn't get to so much as reach for the pouch before he catches wisps of silver hair in his peripheral but realises it too late and only when he feels a sharp pang on the underside of his left chest.
the other boy had punched him. fist first, knuckles clenched and all.
he staggers back, stunned beyond belief because he was led to believe this was only going to be a friendly spar. he waits for the pain to take on its entire form, envelop him in mind-numbing pain rin would surely heal after, if he could just get this over with so he could shake the hurt and embarrassment off.
only it doesn't come – not in the next five seconds or five hours.
much later on during the night as he is safely tucked in his bed and the moon has cast a faint glow over his room; obito is sure he should have felt something then.
obito spends the next few days mulling over this.
once he goes up to rin and asks if she could examine his chest i think there's something wrong to which she does but only frowns in confusion because everything seems to be in order, maybe you're just tired.
he believes her. not just because rin was a medic and she knew everything there was to possibly know, but because he didn't know what he'd do if he didn't. if anything, at least he could feign this slight discomfort into permanent life-threatening injury and lord it over the other boy to make him do his bidding.
predictably, it doesn't work right away.
it is a constant nudge to his arm and artificial faints and doctored grunts of pain and just the right kind of words - i could have died you know! - until he finally breaks him.
then he has the hatake kakashi wrapped around his finger.
maybe this not feeling isn't so bad after all.
obito thinks he hears it break a little just as the ground beneath them shatters to pieces.
like an itch he's been meaning to scratch but can't find the source of exactly where it's been tingling, this time he knows all too well the exact point of origin of this discomfort. he could almost scoff at its impeccable timing.
now you show yourself?
there is a split second everything is presented with painstaking clarity before him; the faint beating matching the drumming of his ears as kakashi weeps by his side, the pumping of blood as rin desperately tries to heal every broken bone, the steady rhythm of his own thoughts flowing quietly as they slow down to barely anything.
so it is like this, he thinks. this is what it was supposed to feel like.
but then something snaps him out of it and suddenly it is doing more than just beating or drumming or pumping or flowing.
it is living.
he decided then this heart was his to keep; after all the trouble he went through it wouldn't do to just let go of it now. it wasn't going to last very long, but it would last him just enough.
his eyes and body and everything else – obito leaves as parting gifts.
for all obito has done getting to know his heart since then, it surprises him how easily it was to un know .
it happens in waves. like a small wire being coiled up thread by thread until all the lines have not only locked onto each other but suffocate the very strokes of life bounding them all together.
maybe the first piece broke apart when he felt, more than saw, her limbless body go rigid and collapse beneath the man he trusted to preserve that very life. it wasn't so much the betrayal of having his dying promise be broken nor was it the idea he was going to have to live without her; but how in a single, fleeting moment that couldn't have lasted for more than a second his very life force has been snipped away forever.
the itch was back.
only he is determined to let this one lurk, manifest, and thrive into something greater than himself or this wretched world that allowed such misfortune.
obito always listened to his heart and look where that got him.
now he was going to move heaven and hell without it.
everything obito ever could have hoped for has become.
until the very same boy who punched the left side of his chest a little too strongly when they were twelve is back and isn't so much wrapped on his finger as he is suffocating his very being.
it's the way he looks at him – searches for the inner storm he left simmer too long but couldn't weather, tries to shield him from mountains of grief he couldn't do with the rubble at the bridge, imprints on his eyes like he could will him to see himself the way he saw him.
the itch persists.
only with the lines all but strangling him now, fighting against their instinct to wind together but instead wanting to break free from the ties that bound them.
then kakashi slams lighting into his heart and expects him to do something .
only obito is out of somethings to give.
where there should have been pain there is only an empty, mass of voidless nothingness and it is suffocating just like the itch only worse because rin wasn't here to check on it and kakashi couldn't possibly understand what that meant for him because he killed her but that's okay he was going to bring her back and change the world and—
obito had a heart once.
it happened on a sunny day.
the warmth from the sun soaked into his clothes, warming his skin and enveloping him in comfort. he hears the familiar sound of birds chirping as they flew atop the lush, green trees their village was known for and into the blue skies, before disappearing altogether.
he lays flat on his back gazing up at nothing in particular until he hears paddles of footsteps nearing him.
how many times do i have to tell you not to overdo it? he recognises that familiar timbre of soft tones and stable spirit anywhere. rin.
ah, i know already. slightly rough around the edges with a hint of resignation could only be kakashi.
obito smiles to himself as they draw closer.
he closes his eyes as he feels the grassbeds around him dip under their weight as they settled into comfortable sitting positions. all of three of them lay there in silence, observing the beautiful scenery and falling into a companionable stillness they were rarely ever given.
rin didn't push further, but only because she could tell from the tell-tale blush on their silver-haired teammate cheeks he was mortified enough.
kakashi didn't object, but he rarely ever did with them now. instead he removes his hitai-ate and lets the rest of his hair fall down as the wind picked up and breezed past them naturally.
obito liked this. it was perfect.
the two most important people in his life were there with him and they were enjoying a nice day out free from missions or worries and he wouldn't have it any other way.
his heart does a funny little thing then; it beat.
like it liked what it saw to the point of doing something about it. this realisation hits him full force because it wasn't getting promoted to chuunin or minato-sensei complimenting him or kakashi acknowledging him as a worthy rival or rin bringing lunch for him.
it was just.. this. as they were.
only he doesn't get to enjoy the revelation as much as he'd like because almost the same time his heart beats his eye pulses and reminds him of something he knows already goddamnit just one more minute —
until he can't stretch the seconds any longer and kakashi is falling into the earth and rin is bleeding into the soil and he is left staring up at a darkened sky raining with blood.
hesitantly, and with all the strength he has left in him, he brings his fingers together and forms the seal: kai.
past the mask, there is a man.
underneath the man, there is a heart.