Thanksgiving 2020. Well, enough of you asked and I had enough free time on my hands to add another one shot to the one shot. I can't promise if this will turn into a story because I have my beloved AU, but, enjoy!

Post-brain surgery, Ed often found himself rehashing conversations and decisions in order to determine how significantly, if at all, his mental capacity had diminished. Olivia assured him she noticed no differences in his wit, reasoning, or speech, but she was prone to being gentle and solicitous with him and his ego. Physically, Ed felt fine, but his one worry during this whole ordeal, other than dying, was that, mentally, he wouldn't be himself. So, he regularly scrutinized mundane exchanges with the doorman or the super. Did he ask the right questions? Did he respond appropriately? Quickly enough? Did he slur his words? When explaining Kindergarten-level directions to Noah, did he make sense? Noah appeared to understand, but was it because he was smart enough to figure things out on his own? Sometimes the uncertainties tortured Ed more than the actual tumor had.

The past couple of months had also brought additional torment. Olivia's face had been plastered all over the news in stills and clips from the arrest in Central Park. For someone who was more accustomed to being treated as a hero, being labeled a villain shattered her entire psyche. She tossed and turned at night and was short-tempered most other times. At one point she sat down across from Ed and said, "I want you to IAB me."

"IAB you?"

"Yes," she replied resolutely, "Interrogate me. Go after me like you would have done in the old days. Curry didn't do that. She lectured me. Deservedly so. I want you to Ed Tucker IAB me."

"You don't want that," he said gently, "You want to punish yourself even more than you've already been clobbered in the press and in the court of public opinion. But, Liv, you're not gonna feel any better until, I hate to say it, you get an opportunity to make a different decision. And, if I can also say, uh…" Ed trailed off, reconsidering making his point.

"Say it."

"Uh, well, the lecture from Curry? I'm wonderin' if maybe that was tougher to take than the Ed Tucker IAB experience?"

Olivia blinked and sent a few tears streaming down her cheeks. "You're right." She sighed and nestled into his arms where she remained for the rest of the night.

Ed thought he handled that well, and, soon after, the spotlight shifted from Olivia's squad to the Presidential Election. Even so, she embarked on a quest of reeducation, and the stacks of books on her nightstand all had titles relating to systemic racism and progressive changes in policing. She also had regular conversations with Barba, who was her friend but not shy about telling the truth. Though uncomfortable, the calls helped her reflect and reposition her perspective. Afterward she would lie in bed and talk her way through an old case, searching for bias and blinders. Ed only offered an opinion when asked. Mostly, he listened. He still had a keen sense of when he needed to chime in and when he needed to simply shut up and just be there.

By default, when assessing his responses and his reasoning, Ed also faced the reality of the reboot of their relationship. He was practically living with her and Noah. In-person school came and went in abrupt stops and starts, and after the last closure Olivia declared she was keeping Noah home indefinitely. Though he'd seemed to have grown out of his asthma and lung issues, she shuddered to think of the damage the virus could inflict on his young body. Besides, he loved learning at home with Ed, and Ed loved his second career as a homeschool Kindergarten teacher. He also was thrilled Olivia assumed he was happy with the arrangement. He was. But, the romance levels were far from where they'd been during their best days together. Sure, there were moments of flirtation; however, he felt Olivia's apprehension. They kissed and hugged and cuddled together on the couch and in bed, but he knew she was holding back. Ed was caught in the dilemma of wanting to know why but not wanting to ask and hear the truth. It had to be more complicated than concerns about his health; he was terrified she didn't love him like she did before. If that truly was the case, his brain could take it. He wasn't sure he could survive a second Olivia-induced heartbreak.

"Hey," Olivia breezed into the room dressed in her work clothes bringing with her the intoxicating combination of shampoo, lotion, and a dab of Jo Malone fragrance. "Noah's waiting for you." She kissed his cheek and, out of habit, touched the scar.

Ed smiled. He and Noah began each school day with a series of stretches, jumping jacks, and running in place. Gets the blood flowing so you're ready to learn, Ed told him each day. "Be right there, bud!" He called to the little boy.

"Kay!"

Ed spun around on the stool and watched Olivia button and belt her coat. "Cold today?"

"Yes. I think we've jumped headfirst into winter."

"Should be okay later? To take Noah out for a little bit?"

"Oh yeah," Olivia smiled, "Where to today?"

Ed shrugged. "Maybe just down the block. If the basketball courts aren't too crowded he can ride his scooter for a little bit. You alright with that?"

"Of course." Olivia stode back over to Ed and gave him a kiss. Something in his expression told her not all was well with him. "I trust you," she said.

"Thanks."

"Do you feel okay?" She touched the scar again.

"Oh yeah. I, uh, just don't want to take him here or there and you not be on board with it."

"I'm on board," she replied, "And he needs to get out."

"Okay."

"Mittens and hat are in the closet on the shelf in the basket if you need them."

"Got it."

She put a hand on the side of his face, "I'll see you later."

Ed told her goodbye without adding I love you. They hadn't been saying it much lately. Maybe the emotion of him being near death had worn off. Maybe they'd skipped a whole slew of relationship steps and phases and were now in the category of an old married couple who operated in a world of mutual yet unspoken affection and admiration. Or maybe his presence was getting to be a burden.

Ed groaned. He was too old for this and too cowardly to be honest with Olivia.

"Ed! Gotta get da blood goin!" Noah shouted from his room. His words were followed by a few thumps. The jumping jacks had already begun. Pity the neighbors below.

"Comin' bud!"

Ed hopped from the stool and strode to the bedroom, eager to start his day with Noah. For the next few hours, at least, he could concentrate on other matters.

…

Olivia's first stop of the day was Chief Garland's office. She needed to take care of an issue that had been nagging at her for the past few months and became more glaringly pressing when she met with Curry. The Captain mentioned they'd met before, which Olivia didn't remember until Curry reminded her of the time and place a few years prior. She then went on to murmur how she'd heard about Ed'd tumor and hoped he was doing as well as possible. "I'll have to reach out," she said, "I sent a card but I should call. I know his fiancee's a nurse, so I'm sure he's in good hands."

Olivia stared at the cold table surface. Curry had no idea. There was no reason why she would-Ed didn't publicize the end of the engagement-but it was strange to hear Curry talk about her Ed with such detachment. Those closest to Olivia knew she'd taken the time off to care for Ed, but his convalescence overlapped with the Covid invasion, so everyone's attention was focused elsewhere. Nobody even asked about him anymore and she was certain they didn't know Ed was living with her.

Since Ed was retired, there was no technical need for a disclosure, but Olivia was still traumatized by the bungled way the first rendition of their relationship had been exposed. This time, she was going to control the narrative.

Chief Garland wasn't surprised to see her. He barely looked up from his work and when she sat down he didn't close the laptop. "Good morning," he said in a friendly yet formal voice.

"Morning," Olivia replied. She got right to the point. "I wanted to run something by you."

"What's that?"

"Remember how I took some time earlier this year? For Tucker?"

"Sure," Garland replied, "How's he doing?"

"Good. Great, actually. He's feeling pretty much like his old self, which," Olivia paused to make sure Garland was listening, "Which I know because I see him every day."

"You're back together." It was a statement, not a question.

"Yes." Relief washed over Olivia. She hadn't known how refreshing it would be to admit to another human being she and Ed were a couple again. Garland's expression was blank. Olivia blinked and grimaced. "Chief, I'm sorry."

"No need to apologize," he said, "Tucker's not NYPD anymore-"

"-That's not what I meant," Olivia said. "I know I'm not obligated to tell you or anyone else, but I wanted to, so there are no secrets or misconceptions, or...but, I was apologizing because...I appreciate you introducing me to Edgar. I do. It's-"

Chief Garland offered a tiny smile. "We're not in middle school, Olivia. I'm not going to be mad at you because you don't like my friend."

Olivia nodded, "There was some...intentionality...the night we were introduced. So I think I owe you at least an explanation."

"You don't. And I understand. You and Tucker have a history. Hard to compete with that."

Olivia squinted at him. "You know about our history?"

"Probably not all of it," he replied, "But people talk. You know that."

"Right." Olivia stood up. "Anyway, I wanted to let you know. To be safe."

"Consider me informed," Garland shot her a friendly smile, "Give him my best."

"I will."

….

Ed and Noah lucked out. The basketball courts were empty save for a boy and his father playing catch with Lacrosse gear. Ed and the other man nodded to each other, silently agreeing to stay on their respective sides of the fenced area. Noah made loops around the half-court, playing his own game of him accurately he could roll over the painted lines. Ed cheered him on and thought about the newest public health recommendations. Limit travel. Stay home. Celebrate Thanksgiving with the people you live with. Avoid large gatherings.

Keeping his eyes on Noah, Ed called his sister. He rarely called, so she answered with a bit of trepidation in her voice. "Everything's good," he assured her. "I'm fine. I just need Ma's recipes. I'm in charge of cooking Thanksgiving dinner this year." Olivia did not know this yet. Head chef was a title he'd spontaneously bestowed upon himself just now. His sister cautioned him that their mother's collection of dog-eared pages and faded index cards probably did not contain all of the secret culinary tricks that passed on with their mother, but she agreed to hand off the book. Ed thanked her and told her they'd come by for a curbside exchange later on that afternoon.

"Who ya talking to Ed?" Noah asked.

"My sister. Want to take a drive after we finish working?"

"Yep! Where we goin?"

"To get some recipes for Thanksgiving."

"Oh. We need a turkey, too."

"You're right. Thanks for reminding me. After I get the recipes we'll make the order, okay?"

"Kay!"

"Bout five more minutes, pal. You cold?"

"Nope!" Noah sped off to squeeze in as many laps as possible with the remaining time.

Ed shoved his hands in his pockets and looked on, satisfied. This was good, he thought. A holiday in quarantine might be just what he and Olivia needed. He rolled his eyes at himself. He was thinking as if they're relationship was on the rocks again. It wasn't. He simply wanted to recapture what they had. It was foolish to think Thanksgiving would suddenly reignite the spark-Ed knew it wasn't going to return without a heart-to-heart-but he firmly believed the magic of the holidays might just give him the courage he needed to bring up the subject.

On Noah's last day of remote school before the break, his teacher asked the students to unmute and list one thing they were thankful for. For some reason, Ed was surprised at the old-school question. Education seemed like such a different world from what he remembered, and there didn't seem to be room for this type of reflection. He sat at the table and eavesdropped on the responses. Noah's classmates were thankful for their dogs, siblings, and certain toys. Finally, the teacher called on Noah. "Can I say two?" He asked.

"Sure," the teachers replied.

"I'm thankful for my Mom," he said before turning the camera, "And, my Ed! Dat's him right here! He's my teacher too!"

Ed smiled sheepishly and waved at the class. Most of them, including the teacher waved back. A few minutes later, everyone said goodbye and Noah dutifully shut down the laptop before closing it.

"Now whadda we do?" He asked.

"We start cooking."

…...

Olivia walked into the apartment and was immediately taken back to the first time she walked into Ed's mother's house for dinner. There was nothing better or more welcoming than the aroma of a homemade meal being prepared, and Noah and Ed were getting a jump start on their Thanksgiving feast. When Ed mentioned the three of them celebrating together, he did so hesitantly, as if he expected her to say no or to respond unenthusiastically. It was a little odd, but she forgot to ask him about it because Noah interrupted the conversation by opening the pantry and revealing all the food that had been delivered earlier in the day. He followed that reveal by opening the refrigerator door with a flourish and showing off the turkey.

"Wow!" Olivia had said. She was genuinely shocked. "It's huge!" It was way more than they needed, but Ed claimed there were no smaller options and insisted they would make good use of the leftovers. She believed him. Ed had proven to be a capable cook.

She removed her boots and coat and joined Ed and Noah in the kitchen. "Looks like you made progress today," she said after kissing them both hello.

"We did. Not much to do tomorrow but watch the virtual parade and relax."

"And Fin's taking tomorrow with Kat, so, no interruptions"

Ed never knew how to respond to this type of information. He wanted to say good, because it was good news, but he didn't want it to be construed as a reminder that so many other dates and plans had fallen through because of the job.

Olivia reacted to herself. "So that's good news."

"Yeah, it's great," Ed smiled at her and nudged Noah, "Right, bud? Gonna be fun tomorrow, the three of us. We can play some games. Maybe see if the court's empty again so you can show Mommy how you ride on the lines?"

"Ride on the lines?"

"It's an obs'cle course," Noah explained, "But no ramps or jumps."

"Ohhh." Olivia helped them wipe down the countertops and used the opportunity to get Ed alone for a few minutes, "Noah, honey, will you go wash your hands and your face and change clothes?"

Noah looked down at his flour-streaked shirt and blue jeans. "Yep!"

Olivia wasted no time. "What's going on? You're acting strange."

"I am?"

"Yes."

Ed sighed, "We'll talk later okay?"

"We will?"

"Yes," he smirked and tried to lighten the mood, "I need to explain why I'm acting strange. It's not the surgery. It might be a problem with my head, but not because of the tumor."

He must have convinced Olivia because she smiled and gave him a flirtatious wink. "I'm going to change into holiday relaxation clothes," she said, eyeing his attire which wasn't much cleaner than Noah's. "And you might want to consider doing the same."

"Yes ma'am."

…..

Olivia didn't exactly rush Noah to sleep, but she zipped through the stories much more quickly than usual. Noah didn't seem to mind or even notice. He'd had a busy day and was yawning even before taking his bath. After Olivia said "the end", he curled up with his stuffed elephant, closed his eyes, and slurred a goodnight.

Clutching a glass of wine, Olivia sat cross-legged on the coach across from Ed and waited expectantly.

Ed turned off the television. The apartment was eerily quiet. But the lighting was soft, candles were lit, and he figured nothing could go wrong in an ambience like this. "Liv, first of all, I want to thank you for everything you've done for me. You were there for me when no one else was. You've let me stay here," Ed hadn't expected to start choking up, at least not this soon, "And it means the world to me."

"This...isn't going where I thought it was going," Olivia replied.

Ed saw the wine in her glass shake. "It's been hard enough," he said, "Facing mortality. Knowing you were facing it with me. Liv, I, uh, I'm getting the feeling that you and I have different end games in mind."

Olivia furrowed her brow but said nothing.

"Liv, I love you. I know you love me. I love Noah. Being home with Noah, it's all been great for me, for him, I think for you?"

"It has," she croaked.

"But there's something holding us back," he said, "There's something still not right between us. And I know, because it was there before-"

"-this isn't before," Olivia interjected softly. "We went from strangers again to me finding out you were engaged, then a brain tumor, your fiancee leaving, the surgery, Ed, this whole thing has been a blur. A shock, really. Not to mention Covid! Ed, honey, you're right. I do love you. I love you so much that, when I saw you at your retirement party I almost got physically ill when I found out you were getting married. I…" Olivia stared at her hands, "I thought, at one point, that would have been me by your side, listening to people roast you...Ed, I am so, so sorry. I-"

"-Liv, we've done this already."

"I know, but, the truth is, I have been holding back some. I figured you had enough on your plate without questioning us. I want you here. I want us to take care of each other. And I guess I thought by not making a big deal of being back together I was removing a huge question mark from your mind, but, it sounds like I've done the opposite."

"No," Ed said softly. He reached for her hand. "I've been overthinking."

"Yeah. That look has been on your face a lot. Even when you're sleeping."

"You're watching me sleep?"

"I check on you."

He smirked. "Did you, uh, say we're back together?"

"I did. We are. And Garland knows."

Confused, Ed furrowed his brow.

"I told him because I don't want anything weird to happen, even though that's not likely," Olivia gazed past Ed out into the blackness of the night, "But now I think maybe I just needed to say it to someone out loud." Her eyes tracked back to his, "Is there something else?"

"One thing."

"What's that?"

"Liv, I don't want to pressure you, but, I need...sex."

They both turned beet red.

"The doctor says it's perfectly okay. In fact, it could help."

Amused at his near-desperation, Olivia chuckled.

"Whenever you're ready," he placed kisses on both her hands, "I'm ready to make love to you again. You're my one and only, Olivia Margaret."

"How can I say no to the man who's been slaving away in the kitchen so we can have a perfect family Thanksgiving tomorrow?"

Ed's eyes sparkled. "If I screw it up at least you know there's one thing I do well."

Olivia shivered. He was not lying. And he was right. It was time to be normal again. She stood up, still holding his hands, and kissed him on the lips. "Remember, try to keep it down."

"Captain," he quipped, "You always had more of a problem keeping it down than me."

"Well," she raised an eyebrow and cocked her head, "Let's see if that's still the case."

…

#Tuckson