Tag to The Gamblers

Jack avoided looking Sam and Dean in the eyes when they sat down, guilt weighing heavily on him. How could he ever make it up to them? He had killed their mother and that was unforgivable but he at least needed to apologize. Facing them, on the other hand, was terrifying so he kept the conversation on topic - Chuck. "We'll beat him." He wrinkled his nose up. "Eating hearts is disgusting but I'll do what I have to do defeat my grandfather."

"We'll find a way," Cas assured him, grinning at his son.

Jack flashed him a nervous smile and stood up. "I'm going to my room - see you in the morning." He waved at them and then proceeded to flee to his bedroom, not coming out again until late the next morning.

When he did, he ran straight into Sam and Dean in the kitchen. He had his foot halfway out the door when they stopped him. "Come sit," Sam said, patting the bench.

"Okay." Jack chuckled nervously and made his way over, sitting down next to him. Too nervous to eat, he opted not to grab any cereal despite how much he wanted some - he had lost his appetite.

"How you feeling, kid?" Dean questioned as he sipped on his coffee.

Avoiding eye contact, Jack forced a smile. "I'm fine."

"No side effects from eating a heart?" Cas asked, walking into the kitchen to check in on the three people he loved most in the world.

Restless and panicking, he tensed up. "No side effects." Jack bit his lip and turned his attention to the wall.

Cas, Sam, and Dean exchanged worried glances. "You want to watch a movie? We can move movie night up," Dean suggested.

"Sounds wonderful doesn't it?" Cas flashed his son a smile.

Jack's smile didn't reach his eyes, worrying them even more. "Yeah," he replied. He stood up. "We can choose something in a little while." He bolted back to his room again.

Unfortunately for him, none of his fathers wanted him to wallow in guilt anymore so they knocked on his door and checked on him about ten minutes later. Cas sat down on the bed first and patted his shoulder. "We're here if you need us but don't bottle anything up - that's how we got in this situation in the first place. Tell us what you're feeling, Jack," he encouraged.

"We're thrilled you're back - watching you die in front of us was heartbreaking," Sam murmured as he too sat down on the bed.

Dean followed suit seconds later. "It really sucked. And your grandfather can go fuck himself."

Jack chuckled but his gaze was hollow. "How can you even stand to look at me?"

Sam frowned. "What do you mean?"

He stood up and they went with him. "I killed Mary - your mother! Why do you even want me around?" He whirled around to look at Sam. "Why did you hug me? Why aren't any of you furious with me? I hurt so many people." His voice cracked and he desperately hoped he didn't start crying.

"You didn't have a soul. I've been through the same thing, so it would be hypocritical if I didn't forgive you. You're our kid, and I love you." Sam pulled him in for another hug, which Jack resisted at first.

Dean grabbed his face again and smiled at him. "I can't forget that you killed my mom - I miss her so fucking much - but I forgive you."

"And I forgive you too, but you already knew that," Cas reminded him. It had been a long drive home and they hadn't been able to spend it all in awkward silence.

Jack bowed his head and a sob broke through. "I'm sorry," he repeated over and over again, unable to stop crying as they stepped forward for a group hug.

It was far from okay - the four of them still had a lot of unresolved issues - but Team Free Will was finally starting to heal. And Jack would just have to live with the guilt for the rest of his life, even though he took comfort in his fathers' forgiveness. He was more than okay with the feelings currently drowning him, and they had more pressing issues to deal with anyway.