Spectre: Sorry if short chapter this time you guys, but hey, it's a good time to visit the classics. Luckily it's summertime here so I can update as much as I would want.
Fortitude501: Good idea. Might do it someday.
Sp0onGuy: Oh, Jaune's going to be Jotaro if that were the case. Now that you brought up Ironwood as Stroheim, that becomes my upcoming plans, coz I want to see Ironwood's reaction at seeing himself acting like Arthur Watts.
Levibrechbiel: Ah, my apologies for that. I could feature it if I managed to pull off Mace Windu vs Palpatine duel then Order 66.
Guest: I could but there is a seperate reaction fic that features Ruby as Luke but I will go and try my best to pull it off.
aa.sourav: Consider her living a triple identity. Willow Schnee is just her public name in politics but her real name is Salem, and in turn, her title being Darth Sidious.
Inspiration: Monty Python: The Black Knight
Chapter 7: The Epic(?) Battle between Knights.
"That's that", Aeralyn announced as she pushed a button of the remote. She can still see members of the audience crying at Taiyang and Summer's fates, and she thought maybe she went a little too far. "We'll take a break or another screening. Your call", she said to them.
"Another screening would suffice to forget what they had witnessed", Ozpin requested to her. "But preferably something light-hearted"
Aeralyn looked at Flit, who only nodded in approval. "Very well then", she complied.
After a few minutes weeping their tears and adjusting themselves. Yang asked her. "We're ready".
Aeralyn smiled."Okay, off to the next world we go!", she declared as she presses a button of her remote and the screen flashed white before them.
All they could hear was hoofbeats. The sound of a mighty horse coming closer and closer. The beating of the hooves echoing in their ears.
"I guess someone is riding a horse?" Ruby said as she didn't understand why they didn't just show him riding a horse.
And then King James Ironwood and his loyal servant Winter Schnee rode into the scene, well more like they skipped into the scene. Medieval-themed music was playing as they skipped along the road.
"What the hell are you two doing?" Glynda asked as she looked back at Winter.
"Why does Specialist Winter Schnee have coconuts in his hands?" Ozpin asked.
"To mimic the sounds of horses galloping perhaps", Summer thought. She assumed that these two are probably living at their imaginations at sorts.
"HAAGGGH!" They saw a green knight fighting with a black knight as they teaded blows
Ironwood and Winter continued their trek, seemingly unaware of the danger they were about to come across.
"HA!" The black knight counter attacked back at the green knight.
Ironwood and Winter were getting closer and closer to the battle at hand. But as of now, they were simply riding unaware as to what was going on. Winter excused herself to take a piss (Causing the said woman in the audience to blush furiously in embarrassment and dared Qrow to say anything, who merely put his hands up in defense). And since Ironwood couldn't move without his horse, he simply had to wait til his trusty servant Winter, who others for some reason called Patsy, had finished.
"GAH!" The green knight roared as he swung a mace.
Ironwood and Winter were watching the two combatants fierce battle. The green knight must have been really pissed at the Black Knight, because he was attacking with such ferocity that could only be matched by a man who has expertise at fighting. The Black Knight seemed to be unfazed, and at times didn't even flinch.
"HA!" The green knight was attacking the black knight when he fell onto the ground, but the black knight grabbed his wrist and kicked his leg up into his stomach and flipping him over.
The black knight stood back up and grabbed his sword.
"GAAAHHHH!" The Green knight was charging forward with a war hammer.
"Has anyone else noticed these two knights have not said a word at all? Just screaming and war cries?" Raven asked.
"Maybe that will change soon." Summer suggested.
The black knight responded by throwing his sword at the green knight.
The sword traveled through the air, going through the slit in the knight;s helmet, and coming out the other side. Orange blood pouring out of the wound.
"Or not." She said as some members of the audience are impressed at this.
"Did he just throw that sword through his helmet?" Glynda asked.
"Yes, yes he did." Ozpin said as she had to admit, that was impressive.
"Why would his blood be orange?" Blake asked as she was wondering if she was the only one who saw that.
Impressed by his skill, Ironwood and his loyal man servant rode up to the Black Knight, who was now guarding a tiny foot bridge across a stream.
"You fight with the strength of many men Sir Knight!" Ironwood praised the man.
"..." He didn't speak a word.
"I am James! King of Atlas!" He said trying to get a response out of the man.
Ozpin, Glynda and Qrow were surprised at the concept of Ironwood being a King but said man was not so proud of his portryal. "You don't seem happy, Jimmy", Qrow said to him.
"Being a General of the army is hard enough, while also acting as the leader of an entire Kingdom is much, much difficult. And not to mention whatever whining I would have to deal with the Council at their meetings", Ironwood reasoned out as the others came to accept that statement.
"I seek knights to join me at my Court at Atlas!" He said as the black knight still wasn't speaking.
"You have proven yourself worthy! Will you join me?" He asked as his loyal servant Winter, was keeping an eye on the two.
The black knight simply shrugged his shoulders in a 'I don't know' pose.
"You make me sad...come Winter!" He said as the knight suddenly spoke.
"None shall pass!" He said in a gruff, slightly drunk tone, catching the two's attention.
"You got to be kidding me!" Yang, Summer and Ruby yelled out at the same time.
"What's wrong?" Jaune asked the three.
"It's Uncle Qrow!" the two girls said, as they recognized the voice. Qrow however, fell asleep from his drinking and those who knew him sighed.
"What?" Ironwood asked.
"None shall pass!" He repeated loudly.
"I have no quarrel with you good sir knight! But I must cross this bridge!" He said referring to the tiny foot bridge.
"Then, you shall die!" The black knight declared to him, ready to fight him once more.
"What the hell are they fighting for?", Roman asked, flabbergasted at the King's behaviour.
"James, its a tiny foot bridge going over a stream, you can literally jump onto the other bank. You don't need to fight over it!" Glynda said as they seemed to be fighting for a childish or stupid reason
"I COMMAND YOU! AS KING OF ATLAS! TO STAND ASIDE!" He said in his royal beacon voice.
"I move...for no man." The knight defiantly said.
"SO BE IT!" Ironwood said backed as he unsheathed his sword.
"What the fuck am I doing?", Ironwood spoke out, clearly not liking his alternate self's behaviour.
"Oh you got to be kidding me!" Glynda cried out as she face palmed.
"They are really going to fight over about six inches of water under a bridge?!" Winter shouted out, she can't believe her general and superior would be so stupid.
"It wouldn't be the dumbest thing we've ever seen." Taiyang said, remembering the time when Qrow was so drunk that he was left with only in his underwear at the morning and was sleeping at the women's faculty room.
Medieval battle music played. The Black knight and Ironwood faced off. Swords at their hands as they engaged one another.
"HIYA!" The black knight said as he swung his sword, only for the King to deflect it and swing his sword at the man's head.
"HUWA!" The black knight yelled again as he went for a diagonal slash.
Only for Ironwood to dodge it, and for it to hit the ground. The knight repeated the same tactic, only this time he did it from the other side, which Ironwood evaded the strike.
The battle ensued for a few more seconds. The knight refusing to give any ground, and Ironwood refusing to back down, until he could cross that bridge.
Ironwood in the audience facepalmed at his counterpart's behaviour, cursing at himself for being childish over a mere crossing on a bridge. Winter had to resist doing so out of respect for her leader.
"HUGA!" The knight said as he missed a slash and Ironwood banged the hilt on his helmet. This staggered the knight enough for him to make a lousy slash. And Ironwood tapped his shoulder, only for the arm to completely be sliced off.
"WOAH! He only tapped his arm and it fell off!" Jaune called out as he had no idea that Ironwood was that strong.
"What in the world just happened?" Cinder asked as she was pretty sure the human body didn't just fall apart like that.
"Well, he won. Sort off" Mercury replied, also wondering how the knight's arm fell just like that.
The knight looked down at his arm.
"Now stand aside worthy adversary!" Ironwood declared as the knight looked up to his gaze.
"Tis but a scratch!" He defiantly said as Ironwood was flabbergasted at this.
"What the hell is he smoking?", Roman questioned, seeing his scratch to be way worse than it seems.
"Or rather drinking, if you may", Ruby replied, not also believing her Uncle would not feel something like that.
"A scratch?! Your arms off!" Ironwood yelled at him, looking at the severed body part.
"No it isn't!" He insisted.
"YES IT IS!" Kali Balledona yelled out in frustration. People began to look at Qrow, who was still asleep.
"Whatever he drank must've been laced or poisoned, that's for sure", Jonathan Arc said as the adults have a similar thought.
"Then whats that then?!" He yelled pointing at the severed arm.
The black knight looked at his arm on the ground like it was just tuesday. "I've had worse."
"That's got to be a stupid-ass reason", Mercury said as Emerald reluctantly nodded in agreement with him.
"You liar!", Ironwood growled out.
"Come on! You pansy!" He said as he swung his sword again at the King.
"HUGA!" He yelled as Ironwood easily blocked his slash.
"GAAAAAAAHHHH!" He yelled as he charged forward with sword in hand. Only for Ironwood to take out his other arm. Leaving him disarmed.
"There! Now he won't be able to fight anymore!" Glynda said, finally relieved that this nonsense is over.
"Still though, its strange to see Uncle Qrow fight like that." Yang said as their Uncle was usually a lot faster and better compared to this one.
"Victory is mine!" Ironwood yelled as he kneeled down in prayer. "We thank thee lord, that in thy mer-" He was cut off by a boot to the face.
"Come on then!" The black knight sound as he was bouncing around on his feet.
"YOU HAVE GOT TO BE SHITTING ME!" Summer yelled out at the screen, not even wanting to think that this Qrow is his alternate version.
"It's official, he's mad", Cinder remarked.
Ozpin couldn't even believe what he was seeing. And this was practically one of the strangest timelines he had witnessed.
"WHAT?!" Ironwood yelled in surprise as he was getting off of the ground.
"Have at you!" He continued to kick Ironwood, who was getting irked at this.
Ironwood's eye twitched at the knight's stupidity, wishing that his alternate self would just cut off Qrow's head in that universe.
"You are indeed Brave sir knight! But the fight is mine!" King Ironwood declared and was starting to get very irritated.
"Oh? Had enough eh?" He taunted.
"LOOK YOU STUPID BASTARD YOU GOT NO ARMS LEFT!" He yelled at him in frustration.
"Yes I have!" He stated in a happy tone.
"LOOK!" Ironwood pointed out his stubs where his arms used to be.
"It's just a flesh wound!" He reasoned as he continued to kick him.
"Just a flesh wound?! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU QROW?!" Summer yelled out at her teammate's stupidity.
"I can't believe he's my brother...", Raven muttered out.
"Stop that!" Ironwood yelled as he backed away.
"Chicken! Chicken!" The Black knight taunted at him.
"I'll have your leg!" Ironwood warned him. The black knight responded by kicking him. "RIGHT!" He yelled out as he cut off a leg.
"Right! I'll do you for that!" He yelled out.
"You'll what?!" Ironwood yelled as this was getting weirder and more dumber.
"Come here!" The knight called out to him.
"Oh my god, when will he learn to give up?!" Jaune said, could not believe what he was seeing.
"How in the world has he survived this long with how much blood he's lost?" Ren said, trying to remain rational.
Winter and Glynda aren't worried for Ironwood at this time. But this knight was getting really weird. But in fairness, this was actually comedic compared to the darker timelines they had seen.
"What are you going to do? Bleed on me?" He asked the knight but the latter responded by rubbing up against him in what looked like a struggle snuggle.
"I'M INVINCIBLE!" He yelled as he was rubbing up against
"Obviously not! You've lost three limbs!" Glynda yelled at him.
"Is he fucking serious now?", Roman stated as this one is getting ridiculous.
"You're crazy." Ironwood pointed out as he was now in awe of how stupid this guy was.
"The black knight always triumphs! Have at you!" He yelled as he continued to rub up against Ironwood.
"Come on then!" He said as Ironwood sighed and finally cut off his other leg.
"If that doesn't stop him, then I don't know what will." Raven said as she was actually embarrassed to be related to this guy right now.
"I don't know if he's brave or stupid", Emerald groaned.
"Likely a combination of both", Cinder replied.
"Oh." He said as he looked at his stumps. "Alright! We'll call it a draw."
"A DRAW?! All your limbs are gone and you're saying its a DRAW?!" Summer shouted out, and she was going to kill Qrow the next time she saw him.
"How is he still alive?! Jaune asked as there was no way anyone should survive that after the loss of all his limbs.
Ironwood was relieved that this is over, but was embarrassed at himself and of Qrow for their eccentric behaviour.
"Come Winter!" Ironwood said as his servant followed him across the bridge.
"Oh I see! Runing away eh? You yellow bastards! Come back here and get whats coming to you! I'll bite your legs off!" The black knight said as he attempted to hop after them on his stubs. The screen fades to black soon after.
AN:End of chapter. Next chapter is a clue: Winds vs Wits. Now I ask, should I still do the Arena Battle at Attack of the Clones until Cinder's (Dooku) duel against Ozpin (Yoda)