Hi, Lunchies! Trigger warning, in here, for discussions of past suicide! Enjoy!

Thor explained everything to Loki. How he was Jotun, how he'd died, then been revived only to attack Midgard, how he had been imprisoned, and how he'd died once more. Loki had listened quietly, his iron body not moving once, until Thor had finished. The Thunderer was in tears by then, himself.

"I'm very sorry." Loki finally said, once Thor had dried his eyes.

"I suppose it wasn't your fault." Thor sniffled.

Loki was silent at that. "What about Father?"

Thor raised his eyebrows. "What about him?"

"Has he disowned me?" Loki twisted his metal fingers nervously.

Thor shrugged his shoulders. "I don't quite know. I wasn't allowed at your trial, and I was so angry, I most likely would've made a fool of myself, anyway."

Loki nodded somberly. "A wise decision, Brother. You had every right to be angry."

Thor sighed, and dropped his face in his hands. Loki used to be such an encourager, and now that he didn't remember his pain, he was once more. Where had the Thunderer gone wrong? Had it even been avoidable? If this had been the same Loki who had tried to level New York, he wouldn't have said such a thing, at least, not so kindly.

"You're awfully quiet." Loki noticed. "It's unlike you."

"Yes, well…" Thor didn't know how to respond. "You're not in any pain, are you?"

Loki shook his head. "It's strange, not having an actual body. It's hard to get used to, but it can be convenient. Do you know, at this moment, I'm talking with you, helping Anthony in the laboratory, and terrorizing the captain all at the same time?"

Thor laughed aloud. "You always did like multitasking, didn't you?"

The robot nodded its helmet gleefully. "And you? How have you been? You didn't take my death too hard, did you?"

"I took it pretty hard." Thor admitted. "I may have wept on Anthony's shoulder for a solid week…"

"I probably shouldn't be flattered, should I?" Loki giggled. "I'm sorry, it's really no laughing matter, but… I never thought anyone would miss me."

"You what?" Thor gasped. "Loki, you're my brother! Of course I missed you!"

The helmet looked away, somewhere on the floorboards. "You know… Thor… you don't have to pretend for my sake… I understand."

Thor gripped the metal shoulder earnestly. "Loki, don't say such things! I love you, you must know that!"

Loki heaved a deep sigh. "But what is love?"

Thor blinked in surprise. "Well, that's simple. Love is…" He hesitated, choosing his words carefully. "…always looking out for someone. Making sure they're safe, and happy, and… encouraged. Ensuring their needs are met, and that they know they are loved."

Loki was disturbingly quiet for a few seconds.

"What?" Thor demanded.

Loki shrugged. "I suppose… I must have been too self-centered to… notice?" It came out as a question. "Father always did say I was a selfish little bastard."

Thor gaped in surprise. "You didn't notice? What about that time when… when you accidentally set Sif's hair on fire, and I convinced Father to let you go to Nidavellir to get a replacement?"

"Yes…" Loki admitted, the armor hunching in on itself protectively. Too late, Thor realized that he hadn't been there for Loki that entire escapade. After Loki had come back, the dwarves at the forge accused him of stealing the hair, and demanded retribution. Loki had been locked without food or water in a dwarvish prison for three weeks, and when the dwarves returned him, starved, traumatized, and half-crazed, he had refused to speak for months. Thor hadn't been looking out for Loki, then, or he would have been out of that cell before a day was up. Come to think of it, the only reason he'd convinced their father to let the Trickster go was so that Thor could get an update on how quickly his hammer was coming along. And, that was not the first or the last time a quest had ended badly for Loki, and Thor had not cared. He'd never cared. Loki had been suffering, under his very nose, and he wouldn't have seen it coming if Loki had decided to end his misery.

"I'm so sorry, Loki." Thor breathed.

Loki gulped. "I-I-I'm sure… you were very busy…" It sounded like a lame excuse, one most likely made over and over in Loki's head, trying to find some logical explanation for his brother's… indifference. That's what it had been. Thor, in his younger years, never thought twice about the raven-haired mage who followed him around, green eyes wide and admiring; poor, adoring child that he was. Thor's eyes stung with tears.

"I was blind." Thor corrected, his voice thick. "I never saw you, Loki. I was a… a vain, greedy, cruel boy, and I should've known better."

Loki turned and stared at him in shock. "You weren't…"

"I was." Thor sniffled. "Oh, I was, and it took your dying for me to see it. I didn't know how precious you were to me, until you were gone, and this is all my fault!"

"Your fault?" Loki breathed, confusion weighing his words. "I fail to see…"

Thor wiped tears off his face miserably. "If I had been paying attention, if I had thought of someone besides myself for once in my life, you wouldn't have been so miserable. So lonely, so desperate for attention that you… you..." Thor choked. "You let go."

Loki awkwardly patted Thor on the back, as the Thunderer heaved sob after regretful sob.

"I forgive you."

Thor looked up, swiping at his swollen eyes. "Wha?"

Loki shrugged lightly. "You said you're sorry. And I can tell you really mean it. And… I forgive you."

Thor hiccupped, and gave his brother a wan smile. Quickly, though, his face turned serious, again. "Loki, please tell me. Did my apathy ever drive you to desperate measures? I must know."

"Desperate… what do you mean?"

Thor bit his lip. "Um…"

"You mean killing myself?" Loki deduced, his voice small.

Thor nodded, as the robot fidgeted uncomfortably. "Well… don't be mad… and don't tell Mother…" He hesitated. "Only a few times. And… I never actually went through with it…"

The Thunderer dissolved in tears, again, and clutched the suit of armor to his chest protectively. "I'm sorry…" He kept muttering.

Loki hesitantly returned the hug. "It wasn't your fault…"

"But I didn't even know!" Thor insisted, wiping his nose on his sleeve. "When was this?"

Loki sighed. "Well… when Father hit me, that one time, in front of all Asgard at the Yuletide feast… the one year Yuletide fell on my birthday… and you laughed… and he said I was nothing but a burden, and he wished the fevers had taken me when I was small…" Loki glanced up. "You remember?"

"That was your birthday?" Thor gasped. He had vague recollections of the event, but he'd thought it was hilarious, at the time.

Loki nodded miserably. "That was the first time. I only didn't, because Ragnar, you remember Ragnar? My valet? He caught me with the dagger, and talked me out of it."

Thor did a quick calculation in his head. "You were only twelve!"

Loki glanced up. "Promise you won't tell Mother?"

Thor paled. "Loki… Mother… she…"

"Yes?" Loki's voice thinned apprehensively.

"She was killed in the Dark Elves' attack." Thor whispered.

"Oh."

Loki curled into a very small ball, and wrapped his arms around his synthetic body. The two brothers were quiet for a while.

"Thor?" Loki spoke up in a very small voice indeed.

"Yes?"

Loki turned, and looked straight at him, and, unbeknownst to him, asking the same question he'd asked when Thor had first brought the subject up, in Asgard's dungeons. He sounded every bit as forlorn and hopeless as he had, then. "Did she suffer?"

Thor wept.

A few weeks passed, and Loki became very adept with managing the tower. Naturally, he also became very adept at using the tower to cause mayhem. Randomly locking doors just before people tried to open them, rearranging furniture in the middle of the night, suddenly switching the water from deliciously hot to freezing cold in the middle of showers… it seemed there was just no end to his mischief. Of course, when asked to reverse whatever ridiculous things he'd done, he would always good-naturedly comply, still laughing his head off at whatever reaction his antics had produced.

Tony realized that this was not the result of any malicious intent on Loki's part, merely a lack of other things to occupy his mind. Thor assured the engineer that this was normal behavior for Loki, and he typically only did it when he felt secure, so Tony considered it a high compliment.

It wasn't too long before Natasha came back from her SHIELD mission with Clint, and, at that point, Tony sent a message over the Avengers chatroom.

Tony: GUYS I HAVE A VERY IMPORTANT THING

Tony: GUYS YOU ALL NEED TO COME TO THE TOWER IMMEDIATELY

Tony: GUYS

Tony: …GUYS?

Sam: Dude, if you just want to know who ate your peanut butter, again, I swear…

Tony: No, I know that was Clint

Clint: I don't know wHaT yOu'Re tAlkInG aBoUt…

Natasha: Can we PLEASE get back on track, here?

Wanda: What track? You're all crazy

Tony: OUCH

Tony: CLINT IS THE ONLY CRAZY ONE WHAT U TALKING ABOUT

Clint: I am very flattered by that comment

Natasha: CAN WE PLEASE GET BACK ON TRACK, HERE?

Thor: A noble cause, Natasha, but also a very futile one

Natasha: PLEASE SOMEBODY

Vision: I'm on your side, Natasha

Natasha: FINALLY

Vision: Mr. Stark, what did you contact us for?

Tony: OH YEAH

Tony: I need you all to come to the tower immediately.

Sam: WHYYYYYYY

Clint: I second Sam's motion

Wanda: Third.

Vision: Fourth

Natasha: VIS, WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON?

Vision: The curious side? I wish to know what Mr. Stark's done, before we do anything about it.

Natasha: Fair point.

Thor: I don't think it would be wise to explain what has occurred over a cellular device. They are far too easily hacked.

Tony: Where'd you learn that word, Point Break?

Thor: Hacked? You, actually.

Tony: OH, MY LITTLE BABY IS ALL GROWN UP

Steve: Thor has a point; we shouldn't explain, here.

Sam: Cap, you're in on this?

Clint: THOR, you're in on this?

Tony: CAP DID YOU JUST USE A SEMICOLON IN A TEXT?

Steve: …yes?

Steve: It's good grammar…

Tony: MY GOSH, YOU'RE SUCH A BOOMER

Wanda: Except that most boomers are actually young enough to be his kids…

Clint: BUUUUURN!

Tony: Let me educate you, real quick. The only thing semicolons are good for in texts are winky faces.

Thor: I KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!

Thor: ;)

Thor: I love it when I know things…

Sam: Uh-huh…

Natasha: I'm on my way, Stark. I should be there in a few minutes.

Tony: And the rest of you…?

Clint: Fine, I'm coming, but only because Nat is.

Wanda: I'll come if Vision does

Vision: I'm already there.

Tony: O.O

Wanda: Oh, okay then I'm on my way over!

Tony: Sam?

Sam: Fine, coming.

Tony closed the chatroom with a satisfied smile, and went back to tinkering with his suit. The Avengers would be here, shortly, and they'd most likely blame him, and tear him into shreds for potentially destroying the world, again, but that was most likely worth it.

TheOnlyHuman.