Captain Inej Ghafa stood on the deck of the ship. The colours of dawn rippled across the sky as she watched the clouds go by. She was up early for the sole reason that she wanted to have peace and quiet for a few moments before the rest of the crew got up and began going about their day.
Inej gripped the steering wheel, leaning back and closing her eyes, letting the sun hit her face. She hadn't seen the sun in ages. The winter before this spring had been full of storms and hunting down those who didn't treat people as people. She was proud of herself, and her crew. They'd managed to mow down fifty slavers in those months, when the cold had been biting, and when her crew had been shivering as snow had landed on their coats and their faces, mercilessly attacking them with white. Inej could still remember the faces of the slavers as she'd emerged victorious, being the last person they'd ever see. Still, she had a long way to go. People were only just beginning to learn her name.
Inej's eyes opened. Her dark brown eyes reflected off the sunlight as she stared at the peaceful, sparkling blue waves below. It was like looking into a more pleasant alternate reality. Just a fortnight ago, these same waves had been against her, roaring with anger and spraying her crew's faces with cold water as they'd slammed onto the ship. The Wraith had escaped by the skin of her teeth.
But that was distant now. All that mattered in this moment was where she was heading to.
I'm glad to be going home, she thought as she looked at the rosy gold sky above. Inej was going to visit her parents after a long twelve months out at sea. She couldn't wait to see them again and tell them all the stories she'd accumulated over the past year - when Ama accidentally ate some jellyfish, or how Laina had massively improved in her cooking.
Inej knew that her parents would ask about her profession, but she wasn't sure she was ready to tell them about it. She wasn't ready to tell them about the terrified faces of the children held in dungeons, about the smiles on the slavers' faces that reminded her of her clients at the Menagerie. It still hurt to remember those times, and the wounds were still fresh. They had not yet healed.
The Captain looked up at the sky again. She closed her eyes. Saints protect me, she thought to herself. She believed she had been put on this path by them, that they had chosen her to make the world a better place. There was a reason she'd survived all those assignments in Ketterdam, and the mission at the Ice Court. To Inej, all those instances added up to mean something, and she hoped it meant she was destined to change the world, and she hoped that was true.
Inej looked to the left and right, checking to see if there were any ships besides hers. There were none. She was alone.
It was good, in a way. Inej had always valued her times of solitude, and it meant that there was no trouble to be had. Besides, she wanted to enjoy the rise of dawn peacefully this morning.
The Captain steered right, checking the map she had on her person. She was going in the right direction. Thank the Saints, she thought to herself, and continued to steer.
The sun was on the horizon, and Inej shielded her eyes from how bright it was, bringing her hat down to cover her eyes from the light. Her mind wandered from thoughts of how beautiful the world looked right now, to the Sun Summoner, Sankta Alina. I wish I could've known her, Inej thought as she steered to the left to make the ship straight. She hoped the young Saint was resting in peace, anyhow.
The sun was still glaringly bright. Inej wondered what her Saint would have thought: maybe she'd think it too bright - or maybe she was bright as the sun itself, always happy, always willing to help others. Sankta Alina is certainly someone I admire, Inej thought as the waves lapped tamely against the wood of the Wraith. I wonder what she'd think of my hunting slavers. I think she'd be happy.
The Captain was so caught up in her own thoughts that she didn't hear the noise behind her at first. It was the footsteps of sturdy boots, she realised, and Inej turned round, hand on her tabbard. Inej saw Specht, her first mate, with his hands up in the air.
"It's just me, Captain."
Inej laughed softly. "I told you, call me Inej."
"Yes, Capta-I mean, Inej."
The girl turned back to look at the horizon. Specht joined her at the wheel, gripping the railings. He watched the ocean waters and smiled to himself, as if in his own little world.
"Did you rest well?" Inej asked, her eyes trained on the horizon ahead.
"I did." Specht glanced to the side, looking at her. "Did you?"
Inej opened her mouth to say she had, but something stopped her. She still had nightmares about the Menagerie, and about the slavers she hunted. Sometimes, the slavers were her clients, and they dragged her back to Tante Heleen. Other times the children wouldn't be saved, and she'd watch helplessly when they screamed for her to save them as they got farther and farther away from her on those ships, whilst she was trapped by the very ropes she used to tie up the slavers.
Inej shut her mouth.
Specht pursed his lips. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be."
Specht shook his head. "I don't mean that. I mean that you're doing this because you want to, but you're also doing this because if you don't, no one else will. You're the first person to go up against them. That's really damn brave."
Inej couldn't help smiling, despite herself.
"Thank you, Specht." She then sighed. "I'm glad to be going home to my family, anyhow."
Specht grinned, watching Inej's black hair billow in the wind. His own black hair was coily and dense, and his skin was only a tiny bit lighter than the colour of his hair.
"All those cousins, eh?" He elbowed her lightly, then sighed, looking out at the horizon.
"I wish...I wish I had a big family. You're lucky, you know. Most people don't have that."
I know, Inej wanted to say, but she stopped herself. Specht was right. Most people didn't have that - so many family members were lost in wars, or taken, or killed, and it made Inej even more grateful for the family she had. She looked at him.
"I am lucky," she said. She elbowed him lightly, watching him beam at the gesture. "You're part of my family too, Specht. The whole crew is my family."
Specht leaned his elbows on the railing, staring out the sea. Still calm, still peaceful. It was hard to believe that they'd been fighting against these very same waters just two weeks ago.
"I'm glad for that."
There were a few moments of silence between the two people as they stared at the sea. Then, the peace was broken by a commotion.
"Okay but you have to admit, I would be better at you at swinging an axe."
"Says the person who couldn't even lift it up!"
"Hey! At least I can cook!"
Specht looked at Inej, then rubbed his forehead.
"How can two people be so loud that you can hear them from the cabins?" he groaned. Inej laughed.
"I'm glad Ama is lively today, anyhow." Specht cleared his throat, and Inej couldn't help but smile.
"Mhm," she said. Laina could be argumentative when she wanted to be, but with Ama, it was more just bantering than anything else.
Ama was the first person to join Inej's crew after Specht. She was the same age as Specht, and she'd wanted to join because she wanted to get away from a gang of robbers that were trying to hunt her down after she'd hurt their leader when they tried to steal from her. Ama had forged friendships fast, and she was a good trainer, as well as a good person. Inej was lucky to have her.
Laina joined a bit after Ama. She was Inej's childhood best friend, and had pleaded with her parents to let her hunt slavers. Her parents had told her not to; they were scared she'd get hurt. But Laina persuaded them, and she said goodbye, she kissed them both on the cheek. Laina was loud, but she also was dedicated when she needed to be. She worked best in spaces that were noisy, making things she could make herself without any interruptions. Needless to say, she picked up cooking very quickly.
Inej heard laughter coming from the cabins. After a few moments, the door leading to belowdecks swung open and two girls ran out. Specht raised his eyebrows and looked over his left shoulder. The arrivals were talking animatedly to each other as they approached the two people at the wheel. One of them was Suli, like Inej, and the other one was Zemeni.
Laina bounded towards Inej, greeting her before sighing dramatically.
"Someone decided to wake me up early."
Inej laughed when Laina looked at Ama, who grinned at her and then laughed at Laina's expression. The Suli girl beside Inej snorted. Inej thought their friendship was sweet. It was a little like hers and Nina's. How she missed Nina. She had yet to visit Os Alta. She would, after going to her parents.
Inej watched Ama grip the railings, staring out at the sea. Beside her, Laina sighed, closing her eyes. "The smell of the sea is really good."
Inej nodded. It was. But she could still remember the crashing waves on the slaver ship she was put on all those years ago, and she could remember the conversations she had on the ship whilst scared children whispered to each other about their stories of being stolen. She shuddered.
Inej glanced at Ama and Specht, who were laughing together. Ama had curls down to her waist and sparkling deep brown eyes that made Specht speechless whenever he looked at them. It made Inej smile.
Laina stretched. Her black hair was cut short, and in the sunlight, her eyes were tinged with gold.
"Should I wake the others up?"
"You mean Ai and Dishi? No, let them sleep. They worked hard yesterday."
"Yeah, they did. Ai is a really good artist, isn't she?"
Inej nodded. Ai was the person that charted the stars and used that to navigate. She was also the one who drew up the map that Inej kept on her person. Needless to say, she was an amazing artist, and an even more amazing person. Ai had lost her parents when their boat had been overthrown by waves. Inej had saved her, and immediately Ai had wanted to pledge herself to Inej's cause - she had lost her friends to slavers, and she vowed never to let that happen again to anyone else.
Dishi was one of the friends Ai had lost, and an excellent healer. The Wraith had sought out a slaver ship that was heading towards Kerch. Dishi was one of those people on the ship that the crew had saved. Ai was eternally grateful to Inej for saving her friend.
Dishi could be quiet, but they were often playful and mischievous, giving off an air of friendliness and easiness. They were good at managing the masts and helping Inej out with things around the ship, including cleaning. Inej didn't struggle with it, but Dishi had at first. There was so much of it, and Dishi couldn't do it all, so Inej often helped them. The two became fast friends after that.
As Inej thought about the two Shu people still asleep in the cabin, she stared out at the horizon, gripping the railings. She still remembered how she'd saved Dishi.
Inej leapt onto the ship. Something smelt horrid. She was silent as she and Ai hid behind barrels. "Where do you think they are?" Ai whispered.
"Down belowdecks," Inej whispered back. She knew that because she'd stayed there in this very ship. Inej felt like she was going to throw up as she heard the very men that had stolen her from her parents talking in hushed tones. Their voices and disgusting laughter rang out across the ship, and Inej closed her eyes, feeling like she was going to keel over. She grabbed her sword.
You'll get them today, Inej. It'll be over for them. You can send the people back to their homes. You can free them from this.
"Captain? Are you okay?" Ai asked. "You look pale."
"I'm fine," Inej whispered, but she didn't feel it. Her hands were shaking. She tightened her grip on her sword.
Ai held an axe in her hand. She looked nervous. Her choppy black hair was tied into a ponytail, and her gold eyes frantically looked around for any sign of danger. She had a right to be nervous - this was her first mission, after all.
Inej felt her knives. She still hadn't given them up, and she didn't want to. Her knives were what got her through the whole of her time at the Dregs, and they'd serve her well in the next adventure. Inej murmured the names of her Saints before looking back at the four men, huddled around a table. They were playing some sort of card game. Inej watched as someone slammed down a card. Raucous laughter filled the air once more.
The Captain gently gripped onto Ai's arm. The Shu girl looked at her, gold eyes filled with concern. "Captain? Are you okay?"
Inej's breath came in ragged bursts. She felt like she was going to pass out.
"I-those men took me," she gasped out. "They were the ones that took me from my parents. Help...help me make sure that those people down there don't suffer the same fate. Please."
Ai nodded. She gently took Inej's hands in hers.
"That's what I'm here for, Inej," she said gently, and Inej couldn't help feeling happier when Ai said her name. It was a term of endearment on her crew, calling people by their first names. Ai had picked up the names rather quickly, and had made friends with everyone on there. Inej was glad she was by her side in this.
"I'll make sure. I promise."
Inej smiled.
Ai's face turned serious. "Should I?"
Inej nodded. "Do it."
Ai grabbed the grenade in her hand. Inej watched as she took a deep breath.
"Three...two...one…"
Both Inej and Ai covered their eyes once Ai aimed. She threw the bomb at the men, and the two girls heard shrieks as the men were set on fire.
"Go!" Inej cried, and Ai called for the rest of the crew. Immediately Specht and the others jumped on board and ran towards the men. Two of them had perished in the fire, but two others stumbled out, burned but still ready to kill. Inej recognised them as the ones who had stuffed a gag in her mouth to stop her from screaming for help, and she felt sick in her stomach.
The men sneered. They were surrounded.
Ai struck first. The man on the left fell to the ground, and Specht lifted him up clean off his feet.
"Captain, what should we do?" His eyes were hard.
Kill him, a voice chanted inside Inej. Drop him into the sea; let him find safe harbour, said another. Soon, the two opinions were clamouring, climbing over one another. Inej didn't even hear herself issue the command over her trying to sort out her thoughts.
A second later, the man dropped to the floor. Specht wiped his hands on his jacket, then grabbed the man's gun off the floor.
"Jesus, he looked dodgy."
"Little help over here!" Laina called. Specht and Inej both turned their heads to see her, Ama and Ai struggling with the man on the right. Inej sprinted towards him, grabbing her knives. Sankta Lizabeta, protect me, she thought, and she leapt, aiming for the man's throat.
At the last moment, the man tried to grab her wrist. He failed, but the hand that shot out threw Inej off balance. The Wraith fell, and the man laughed. Inej realised in horror that he recognised her.
"Little Lynx. I know you."
His smile was a leer, and before Inej could get to her feet, he slapped her.
Inej cried out and fell down. Ai growled and hit him on the head, rendering him unconscious. Laina helped Inej to her feet.
"Are there any more of them?" Laina asked.
"Not that I know of!" Ama called back as she grabbed her axe. Inej felt like she couldn't breathe.
"Down here!" Specht called, and the rest of the Wraith's crew followed him down belowdecks.
They found the people, and Inej was sickened when she saw all of them were her age or younger. The crew quickly freed them, with Specht giving many of them food and water.
"Get them onto the ship!" Inej commanded.
Specht nodded, and he and Ama began helping the children from the slaver ship to the Wraith. Inej was about to speak when she saw Ai was hugging someone.
"Dishi, I'm so glad you're alright!" she said, brushing their hair from their face. The person looked stricken and frightened. Inej nodded to them.
"It's okay. You can go on the ship and-"
"No," they croaked out. Their voice was unfamiliar, strangled. "No, I want to help fight."
Ai's eyes widened. "Dishi-" she started, but the person clambered towards Inej, looking at her with determination in their eyes.
"Please. Let me fight, Wraith. Whoever you're fighting, I want to be by your side."
Inej let out a gasp. Wraith. They knew her name.
Inej didn't open her mouth to speak. She simply nodded. Dishi gave a small smile before they looked past Inej, and their eyes widened.
"Look out!"
Inej saw the man who had called her 'little lynx' swing a fist. Before Inej could react herself, someone pushed her down to the floor. Inej threw her arms over her head. Not a moment later, she heard a sharp clang and looked up. She just made out the shape of Dishi above her form, pressing an axe against the slaver's sword.
"Dishi!" Ai cried.
"You won't get out of here alive," the slaver hissed, and Dishi stepped over Inej, still pushing. The Captain got haphazardly to her feet. She, Ai and Laina followed Dishi. Ai began pressing into Dishi, and Inej knew she was giving them support. Laina joined in, and soon Inej followed, pressing against Laina and pushing with all her might against the slaver. The man laughed, and Inej growled and pushed harder.
The man stumbled up the stairs onto the deck of the ship. He kept pushing, but it was clear he was losing strength; he couldn't hold his own against the four that were pushing against him. He caught Inej's eye and leered.
"Little lynx," he said. Inej caught a flash of a blade in the air - she realised the reason he wasn't pushing against Dishi and the others as well as before was because he'd freed one hand to grab another weapon.
Inej acted fast. She pushed Dishi, Laina and Ai out of the way of the weapon; a cudgel. She grabbed one of her knives and immediately recognised it.
Sankta Alina, protect me.
Inej ran towards the slaver, the man who had taunted her, who had stopped her from screaming for help. Her eyes narrowed.
The Wraith was here, and she would be the last thing this man ever saw.
Sankta Alina plunged into his throat. The man gagged, choking. Inej didn't push further than was necessary. She pulled her knife out of the slaver's throat and closed her eyes.
"Throw him into the sea," Inej said. This wasn't an order, she realised; her voice came out pleading. It was the plea of someone who was broken, someone who was taking their time healing. Dishi must've recognise the desperation, because immediately they threw him into the sea - a few seconds later, a thunderous splash was heard, and Dishi turned to her.
"Inej? Are you okay?" Laina asked, worried. Inej closed her eyes. She swayed, and Laina reached for her hand, pulling her close into a hug.
"It's okay. They won't hurt you. Not anymore."
Inej nodded wearily, and Ai and Dishi got onto The Wraith. Laina helped Inej onto the ship. She nodded to Specht.
"Let's go."
Inej opened her eyes. She didn't realise she'd closed them in the first place. She let out a deep breath she didn't know she was holding. How could she tell her parents that she'd killed the very people who'd stolen her from them? What would they think?
Her knuckles turned white as they gripped the railings tighter. Beside her, Laina frowned.
"Inej, are you okay?"
In, out. In, out.
The Wraith took a few deep breaths to calm herself. She turned to Laina.
"I'm okay. Just...remembering things."
Laina looked sorrowful. She turned to the horizon; the sun was now higher in the sky than before, and the breeze in the sails meant that the Wraith was going towards Inej's destination faster than before. She smiled.
"Don't be worried for me."
"I will always be worried, Inej."
Laina took her hand.
On the other side of the railings, Ama and Specht were talking, pointing at the big fish they could see in the sea. Inej sighed and took a deep breath.
I can smell the wild geraniums, Mama. I'm almost home.
Inej wanted to see her mother again. She wanted to hear her sing Suli songs whilst she cooked, and she wanted to hear her fond laughter every time Inej's father left his wife flowers.
She closed her eyes and thought back to when they were first reunited.
Inej and her parents sat in a cafe in the wealthier part of Ketterdam. Inej refused to take them to the Crow Club for dinner, so here they were.
Her father gave her a smile as he smoothed back her hair. "I'm sorry for not speaking so much. I'm just...I'm speechless," he said. Inej laughed softly, reaching over and squeezing her father's hand.
"It's okay, Papa. I'm here."
Her father tore up. "I just...I can't believe my daughter is back here with us." He gave her a weak smile, then let out a sob. Inej's eyes widened, and she gave him a tissue. Her father thanked her as he blew into it.
"We thought you were gone forever, Inej. We mourned you. We missed all those years with you because you were taken from us…" her father closed his eyes, then opened them.
"Inej...we know what happened to you."
Inej's heart began to pound until all she could hear was her heartbeat in her ears. She felt ill. She gripped onto her mother's hand, who squeezed hers reassuringly.
"You know?"
Her voice came out quiet, weedy. Her breath came out in short bursts, and her mother squeezed her hand again.
"It's okay, Inej," she said quietly. "We won't let those monsters get near you again."
Inej couldn't breathe. She felt like her lungs were filling up with water.
Her father reached over the table and squeezed her other hand.
"We know you didn't want to do it. It's okay, Inej. It's not your fault. It was never your fault."
Inej broke.
She began to sob loudly. Her father looked alarmed before getting out of his chair and going over to her, hugging her tightly.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Inej. We shouldn't have talked about it. I-"
Inej hugged him tighter, closing her eyes. She didn't say anything. Her father spoke again.
"I'm sorry."
Inej gave him a squeeze before pulling away, eyes red. She gave him a weak smile. Her father kissed her forehead before looking at her mother. She was still holding her hand, but in her other hand her mother held flowers.
"Papa," Inej laughed weakly, "did you hide flowers for Mama again?"
"Actually," her mother said. "These are for you."
Inej stared in shock at the flowers before her. She remembered the name.
"You got me Zinnias," Inej said softly. Zinnias had always been her favourite flower - she loved the bright colours and the happiness they gave her every time she found one of them in the places she went with her family. She could remember their smell and the way they moved in the wind.
Inej got up from her seat, walking towards her mother. She felt like she would cry yet again.
"Mama," she choked out. "Thank you."
Her mother smiled at her, then yelped when Inej hugged her tightly. She smiled wider and hugged back.
"I am glad you like them, darling."
Mama pulled away and took Inej's face in her hands. She stroked Inej's hair before giving her a big fat kiss on the cheek, and Inej let out a happy laugh.
The food was served, and the food was delicious. Her parents tipped the waiters afterwards.
That night was one of the best nights of her life.
Inej took a deep breath as she watched the waves lap against her ship. She stared down at the waters.
I'm glad I didn't jump in there, back when I was stolen.
And she was glad - she'd escaped from that life and gotten her dream of becoming a slaver hunter. That, for Inej, was ultimately better than being under the waves, unmoving, still.
Inej shuddered. She'd always remember that moment, even if it hurt her to do so.
She closed her eyes, and the smell of salt hit her nostrils. She let out a sigh, and she heard a voice.
"You okay Inej?" Specht asked.
Inej nodded, her eyes tracking the waves. She relaxed her grip on the railings and shielded her eyes from the sun. It was about six now. Her parents would be getting up and getting ready for the day.
"Shall I try and jump her?"
"Try, but she'll get to you first."
Inej didn't hear the voices behind her; she was so caught up in her own thoughts that she didn't notice the two arrivals until it was too late.
"HA!"
Inej yelped as someone jumped onto her back. She couldn't help the breathy laugh that came from her throat as she heard Ai's voice.
"I gotcha!"
"Good one Ai," Ama called. Specht lightly scolded the girl, who gave him a cheeky grin in return. Dishi just chuckled as Inej turned round to face them, pulling her in for a hug.
"How are you?" She asked softly. Dishi sighed and stuffed their hands in their pockets.
"I'm good. Tired, but good." They paused, looking at her, and Inej's heart leapt into her throat. Dishi knew how she felt. They had a knack for doing so, and could calm people down - it was why they were such a good healer.
"Inej," they said, and she forced herself to look at them. Dishi stepped forward, and they looked at her, analysing her face. "It's okay. It's in the past."
"I know," Inej sighed. "I just.." she looked out at the horizon, shook her head. She turned back to the person in front of her. "I'm just glad to be going home."
Dishi nodded. They walked towards the wheel, watching the waves. "I'm glad too." They gave her a grin. "I can't wait to meet your parents."
Inej blushed. She cleared her throat and adjusted her hat.
"Well," she said, "you all must be on your best behaviour."
"Of course, Cap'n," Specht said, saluting with a grin. Inej couldn't help the smile that came onto her face. She was truly blessed to have these people by her side.
Now content, a sigh passed the Wraith's lips as she stared out at the sea. The sun was high in the sky now. Inej gripped the railings again, not noticing that everyone was now dispersing, going back to their jobs and whatever else that needed doing.
Inej watched birds circle in the sky. She sighed again, taking off her hat and undoing her hair before redoing it in a tight bun.
There. Now I can see better.
Inej closed her eyes. Behind them, she remembered something that she'd rather forget.
An enemy had tried to blow up her ship. Naturally, Inej was angry, and she grabbed her knives, bracing for the impact as the two ships crashed together, jarring her from her fear.
Three men walked onto the ship. Inej gripped her knives tighter.
He was the man who had given her over to Tante Heleen. She recognised him immediately - the small nose, the pale eyes, the blonde hair. She stared him down and he laughed, mocking bowing to her,
"Wraith."
He knew who she was, though. It was clear he remembered her; that flash of recognition in his eyes and that sinister smile was all she needed to know that he knew. Inej pursed her lips.
Whilst the two other men fought against the crew, Inej and the man circled each other. Neither dared to make the first move - but the man did bear his teeth.
"Little lynx," he hissed, and Inej drew in a sharp breath. Her hands shook, but she forced them to still.
No. I will not be cowed.
The man's mouth drew up into a sinister smile. Inej would never have anticipated what happened next.
The man struck, hitting her leg. Inej fell to the ground, knives still in her hands. She tried to get up, but he stood on her hand, boot crushing on her knuckles. She cried out in pain, heart pounding in her chest. The man grinned. She hardly noticed that one of her knives were now in his hands until he put the tip under her chin.
"Get up," he growled. Then, when she didnt move, he pulled her up and grabbed her hair.
Inej's head swam as he pulled on her hair. The other two men were doing well - Dishi and Ama were injured, and Specht was getting tired.
"Little lynx," the leader hissed. He shoved her forward, and Inej stumbled. She turned around and cried out as the man grabbed her hair, forcing her to look over the railings. He put her own knife to her throat.
"Should I take you back to Tante Heleen? Or should I throw you into the waters?"
Inej had made that choice, years ago, not to jump. She'd been led to Tante Heleen, given over by this man, with no control over her own actions. Inej's eyes narrowed.
You won't take control of me again.
Inej gripped her knife tighter before thrusting her arm backward, catching the man in the groin before pulling the knife out. The man screamed in pain and let go of her, dropping her knife in the process. Inej grabbed her knife back and grabbed the man. She looked at him.
"I am not a little lynx. I am not the Wraith. I am Inej Ghafa, and you are unwise to try and go against me."
She'd stabbed him then, turning her head away before grabbing his body and throwing him into the waters. She didn't look at her crew, putting her knives back in their rightful places. The other two men that had been fighting them were now dead on the floor.
Inej opened her eyes. She looked at them, but couldn't find the ability to speak. The words lodged in her throat. Tears built in her eyes.
She swayed. Inej was going to fall. Specht's eyes widened.
The last thing the Wraith heard was Specht screaming her name. Then, everything went dark.
Inej's eyes snapped open. Her heart pounded. She was going to fall.
She grabbed onto the railing to keep herself upright. Be still my heart, she pleaded, taking deep breaths. It was hard to get her breathing under control. The man that had handed her was dead now, so why did she feel so scared still?
Perhaps there's something that I'm avoiding, Inej thought. Her eyes were unfocused as she stared out at the horizon. The waves were still very calm. She could still remember how they'd once smashed against her ship, angry with the world, and had nearly brought the Wraith down.
Thank goodness that they're calm today. With that thought, Inej's eyes cleared, and she blinked.
There was nothing she was avoiding, was there? No person she wasn't thinking of, no event that she'd shoved down into the depths of her heart, closing it up with a zip over her emotions that threatened to burst.
The Captain continued to stare out at the horizon. Something was wrong. She couldn't pinpoint it. Then, all of a sudden, as she looked down at her brown hands - she remembered.
There had been someone she was avoiding. A certain Suli jailer with black gem eyes: Adem Bajan.
But why? Why had Inej's mind turned to him? He hadn't done anything - but then...that was the point. He didn't do anything bad, but he didn't do anything good to help her, either.
What a strange man, Inej thought. She remembered his words, that her talking Suli made him maudlin - and wrinkled her nose. Memories that she didn't want to remember floating to the surface of her mind. Him teasing her, flirting with her. He was just like the boys she grew up with - maybe that's why she remembered him. She was missing home, and as much as Bajan was annoying and kind of strange, she knew that he reminded her of her childhood.
Inej grabbed the steering wheel, turning the ship to the left. She checked the map on her person again, breathing out a sigh of relief when she found that they were still going the right way.
At least we haven't been blown off course, Inej thought. Just then, wind filled the sails, and the ship veered to the right. Inej yelped and grabbed the wheel tightly, trying to steer them back into the right direction, but the ship was blown to the right. Inej stared out at the horizon and scowled.
Spoke too soon.
With a heavy sigh, Inej tried to steer back to the left. She groaned when the ship continued sailing straight. "Great," she muttered.
It took some tries, but Inej managed to steer the ship back onto the right course. She sighed again and closed her eyes.
"Mrow."
A fluffy feeling against her leg made Inej's eyes snap open. The girl smiled down at the ship's cat and bent down, picking her up before lifting her up into the air.
"Hello Ami. Where have you been?"
"Mrow." The cat yawned and rubbed her fluffy cheek on Inej's hand. Inej laughed and smiled when the cat reached out to the wheel of the ship.
"No Ami, you can't do that. You wouldn't be able to steer a ship, you're a cat!"
Inej booped her nose. Ami meowed and then wriggled and leapt up onto Inej, curling herself around her shoulders.
Inej smiled at the cat before looking up at the sky. She sighed softly and closed her eyes, remembering she'd be home soon. Well...unless the ship blew to the right. Again.
The Captain brushed her hair back from her face, continuing to steer the wheel. As she did, she looked at the clouds in the sky and pursed her lips. It was strange to see clouds so calm when before, there was only thunder and lightning.
"Speaking of lightning," Inej muttered. She needed to send a letter to a certain blue eyed woman with raven black hair.
Zoya Nazyalensky had helped her with hunting, once. She'd joined them on the ship for two nights and three days, and Inej would never forget the hellish storm that rained upon the slaver ship that day - the ship that Tante Heleen herself had been on when she'd docked back in Ketterdam after a 'vacation' in Os Alta, all those years ago, to receive Inej - and because it was Tante Helen's ship, there had been more fighters, more men, and Inej had nearly lost.
But the enemy didn't have Zoya on their side.
Inej remembered the Squaller's ferocity, her anger, coming upon the men in full force, wracking the slaver ship to bits. She remembered Zoya lifting all the children into the air and having them land on Inej's ship safe and sound. Inej remembered Zoya's blue eyes struck alight like lightning, blue and cold and unforgiving. The woman hadn't just destroyed their ship, oh no - she'd killed the men herself once they'd hit the sea. Everyone had pleaded Inej to stop staring, but Inej hadn't been able to look away. The force that Zoya had used was enthralling, magnetic, but also terrifying. Magic.
That day, Inej had reminded herself that Zoya was a Commander of an army. She certainly had the force and strength needed to kill slavers.
And so did Inej. Zoya had said it herself, trying on one of Mrs Ghafa's traditional dresses in the mirror. She'd had her hair tumbling down to her chest, blue eyes alight with happiness as she'd stared at the light blue and pink lehenga in the mirror, gold bangles on her wrists and a traditional necklace being tied around her neck.
"Inej," Zoya had started, and Inej had looked up from where she was doing the necklace. The woman had met Inej's eyes in the mirror.
"You are the storm that the world has been waiting for. You are the storm that will lift the roofs off the pleasure houses, you are the torrential rain that will drown the monsters." Zoya's eyes became hard, alight with passion. "You are the storm. You will change the world."
Inej hadn't dared to breathe. Zoya's voice was not soft. It commanded the whole world to listen to her. It commanded the wind to howl, the very air to shake.
The Wraith had stared at Zoya for a few moments. She hadn't spoken. Then, she'd nodded, not trusting herself to speak, and had resumed putting on the necklace. After a few seconds, she'd stepped back.
"I'm done."
Zoya looked at her, surprised. Inej grinned.
"Give us a twirl."
Zoya placed a hand on her hip. Inej saw the corner of her mouth twitch upwards.
"Only for you, Inej."
Why that made Inej's heart flutter with happiness, she'd never know. Maybe it was because she saw Zoya as a big sister. Zoya had been cold at first, but when Inej had spoken to her in Suli and Zoya had stopped short and asked what she was speaking, at that moment, Inej had offered to teach her Suli. Zoya had graciously accepted.
Zoya had twirled, and Inej did not miss the genuine smile that came onto the woman's face on seeing the lehenga twirl outwards, laden with jewels. Inej had been smiling, too. She'd been happy Zoya was connecting with her culture.
As Inej thought back to that time, she found herself smiling widely.
"Mrow?"
"You remember Zoya, don't you Ami?"
"Meow!"
"Yes," Inej giggled. "You kept jumping onto her lap and she begrudgingly accepted you."
"Mrow!"
Inej smiled wider, a fond expression on her face at the memory of Zoya sighing and stroking Ami's fur whilst the cat melted into a puddle of fluff. It had been sweet.
I can't wait to see Zoya again, the girl thought as she steered the ship more to the left. Maybe she could talk to Zoya more about Ami. Inej had also taught Zoya some Suli too, and had taught her some proverbs as well. She remembered that when she'd said "the heart is an arrow. It demands aim to land true", Zoya had smiled.
It was near lunch when the Wraith finally docked in the harbour. Inej knew where her parents were - they'd told her a day ago, and said they'd be there waiting when she and the rest of her crew docked.
Inej was exhausted. She'd been steering since before dawn, and so before she could descend from the ship, Laina ordered her to eat something.
Tiredly, Inej did. The fish tasted very nice, and she was glad for Laina's stubbornness when it came to food.
After a few minutes, Inej got up from her seat at the table, feeling much better. Specht was leaning against the door when she walked towards it, and he gave her a smile.
"So," he started. "Apparently your parents are going to get visitors."
Inej's eyes lit up. "Visitors?"
"Yeah! Two people. Someone and that Shu kid who kept a low profile."
Inej smiled softly. She couldn't wait to see Kuwei.
"Will Jesper be there?" she asked hopefully as she came out onto the deck, Specht's arm linked with hers. Inej remembered how Jesper and her had walked across a ship just like this, six months ago. It made her smile wider than before.
Specht smiled secretively. "That's something you'll see when you get off this ship. Let's go."
Inej's heart leapt with happiness as the whole of her crew descended from the deck. True to their word, Inej's parents were standing near where they'd docked. Inej beamed and ran towards them, sweeping them up in a hug.
"Mama! Papa!"
"Oh Inej!" her mother cried, happiness in her eyes. Inej brushed the older woman's hair back from her face.
"Sorry we're late Mama, we got blown off course a bit."
"Ah, don't worry! It's all good, hmm?" The mother placed her hand on Inej's arm. Her eyes lit up when she saw Inej's crew behind her.
"Oh, these are your esteemed friends? They're lovely. Come, come!"
Inej's parents hugged her friends. Inej watched with a big smile on her face, elated at the situation. Before she could go forward to her crew, she heard a familiar voice as someone grabbed her shoulders from behind.
"Surprise!"
Inej screamed, then turned around and laughed happily on seeing her friend.
"Jesper!" she cried, throwing her arms around his neck. Jesper hugged back just as tight. They stayed like that, trapped in each other's arms for those few seconds. Then, Jesper pulled away and grinned.
"I like your outfit."
Inej smiled. After working in the Menagerie and with the Dregs, she'd been able to pursue her own style, free of any restrictions in atmosphere and the people she was with. Inej found that she quite liked trousers, so she stayed with those. She'd managed to acquire a nice purple blouse, and had sewn together a white undershirt, with sleeves that ruffled at the end. It covered her arms and made her feel safe.
And then, of course, there was the hat - her pirate hat that she'd gotten off a market. It was deep purple, with a feather sticking out of it. She had good taste, if she did say so herself.
Inej, of course, also had some of her and her mother's traditional wear on her ship - sometimes, she'd dress in them and spin round the cabin. Laina had caught her one time, but instead of mocking her she'd merely stepped into Inej's chamber and spun her round. They'd spent two hours like that, helping Laina into a lehenga and spinning round and laughing. For all that she'd been through, Inej was happy to have her crew by her side - they allowed her to be herself, and in that moment, Laina had given her a chance to be a little girl again, dancing and with her family and friends, without a care in the world.
Inej was glad she knew Jesper, though. He was a blessing in this cruel world, a breath of fresh air that only he could give. Now, she grinned at the Fabrikator and squeezed his hand.
"Thank you. You look amazing, as usual."
Jesper had dressed with care, as he always did. He wore a purple bow tie, matching suspenders, a white shirt and dark blue trousers. He gave her a grin.
"Thank you, Wraith."
Inej laughed. As she did, she noticed a person behind Jesper, and her eyes widened.
"Kuwei!" she cried. The Shu boy waved shyly.
"Oh, come here!"
Inej pulled him into a hug. Kuwei yelped as Inej hugged him tightly. She pulled away first, hands on his shoulders.
"How are you?"
He beamed. "I'm good! Training is going really well."
"He draws good," Jesper said. "Look! He drew me."
Inej took the paper from Jesper and gasped. "Kuwei, this is amazing!" She grinned at him. Kuwei had a twinkle in his eyes.
"I'll draw you next!" he said, walking over the group. Inej blushed.
"Oh pssh, you don't have to do that!" she said. Jesper slung an arm around her shoulder and squeezed it gently.
"You deserve it, Inej. You're a good one."
Inej smiled. "Thanks Jesper."
Jesper smiled back.
Kuwei and Ama were talking, whilst Laina, Specht and Jesper were laughing about something. Her cousins and Ai were laughing I the corner. Inej was talking to Dishi whilst she ate. Her parents had prepared a big feast for her return, and everyone was happy. As Inej bit into the naan bread, she was glad for it.
"You need to teach me this recipe sometime, it's amazing!" Dishi said as they shovelled chicken korma and rice into their mouth. Inej laughed.
"I'll see if I can get the recipe." She winked at them. "Though to be honest, Laina can cook like my parents can. I only know the basics."
"Which are?" Dishi asked.
Inej grinned as she ate some more biriyani.
"Dill."
"Ooh, I want to try-hey. Where's Ami?"
Inej's eyes widened. "Um. I think I left her on the ship."
From across the room, Specht burst out laughing.
"Inej, oh my Saints. Okay, I'll get her, stay here."
And with that, Specht left, and Inej was left bright red.
"You left the cat?" Laina asked with a giggle.
"YOU HAVE A CAT!?" Jesper exclaimed.
"Why didn't you tell us?"
"We only just got her recently," Inej giggled. "Zoya didn't like her at first, but then she begrudgingly accepted her when she wouldn't get off her lap."
It was Kuwei's turn to yell.
"YOU MET ZOYA?!"
Inej laughed at the stunned expression on Kuwei's face. "Yes, I met her! It was fun!" Inej looked down at her fingers, fidgeting with them. "She's like a big sister to me."
"Aw," Jesper said. "She seems really ruthless. She's also stunning."
"She is," Laina agreed.
"You couldn't take your eyes off her," Ai teased. Laina went red.
"She's pretty!"
Just as Ai was about to tease her more, Specht walked in with a fluffy bundle in his arms.
"Presenting...Ami!"
"Aw!" The room chorused. Ami mewed, and Inej's mother clapped her hands in delight.
"Oh, look at her. She's beautiful. Bring her here, bring her here."
Specht obeyed. The older woman took the cat into her hands.
"Hello," Inej's mother said, stroking her fur. "I hope our daughter has been treating you well."
Inej flushed at the mention of herself. "I have. She's a very good kitty."
Kuwei's eyes were sparkling with delight as he watched Ami purr and nuzzle Inej's mother. The grin on his face was unparalleled by everyone else's. Inej knew it had to be his turn next.
Ami mewed again, blinking up at Inej's mother with bright blue eyes. Inej's mother smiled softly. So did Inej. Ami's blue eyes reminded her of Zoya's - only Zoya's promised thunder and lightning, whilst Ami's eyes promised happiness and purity.
Two very different auras, no doubt, Inej thought. She resumed eating, and Jesper joined her and Dishi's conversation. Kuwei joined Ai and Inej's cousins.
"How was Zoya?" Jesper asked. Inej smiled.
"Great! I taught her Suli proverbs and she wore one of my mother's dresses."
Jesper's eyes widened. "You're kidding."
"No, she's not," Dishi said as they continued to eat. "It was quite a sight."
Inej turned to Dishi, surprised.
"You saw us?"
"There was a crack in the door," Dishi confessed. "I saw her. Zoya really is beautiful."
Inej nodded. "Well, she was glad for the visit."
Inej dabbed at her mouth and put the now used napkin on the table and sighed. She leant her head on Jesper's shoulder and closed her eyes.
"It's been hectic. A lot of things have happened."
Jesper nodded. He didn't speak for a few moments as he ate na'an bread with chicken korma shoved onto it. "It sounds it," he said finally. "You must've seen a lot of things."
Inej nodded. "I did." She blinked up at the ceiling and raised her head from Jesper's shoulder, looking around the room.
Today, the Ghafa family were staying at a large house that belonged to their dead relatives who'd passed away some time ago. They were in the dining room - or at least, what could be called a dining room. There was a couch on the other side of the room, and another one next to the window, where sunlight shone through. On the left, people sat down on the carpet, talking and eating food, balancing the plates on trays. The walls were brown, and it was cozy.
Inej smiled. She couldn't believe it. She'd come into big money, she was fulfilling her dream - everything was so good. She had friends by her side, and a large family that loved her. You didn't really get that in this world. At least, not as often.
"You okay?"
Inej was drawn back from her reverie to look at Dishi, who was watching her with interest, head cocked to the side. She blushed.
"Yes. I'm just…" she sighed contentedly. "I'm happy to be home."
"I'm happy to be with your family," Dishi grinned at her. "They're lovely."
Inej took Dishi's hands into hers, rubbing her thumbs over their knuckles.
"You're my family too, Dishi. All of the crew is."
Dishi beamed, cheeks red, and Inej smiled wider. She was truly blessed to have Dishi and the others in her life.
Inej was about to speak when there was a crash. She looked to the side.
"Ami!" Inej exclaimed.
Ami ran out the room. Inej apologised to everyone in Suli before getting to her feet and racing after the cat.
Inej had never seen this house before. She climbed stairs. She rounded corners at lightning speed, eyes flashing around the place in search of a black cat.
Ami meowed. Inej leapt up as Ami climbed the rafters of one of the bedrooms. Inej followed suit, perching on one of the beams. Ami mewed. Inej reached out.
"Come on Ami," she said, then tutted. "Come on. It's okay, I won't-"
Ami's grip slipped.
The cat yowled as she fell onto the floor. Just as Inej climbed down to the ground, Ami had sped off again. Inej groaned, ghosting a hand over her face.
This was going to take longer than she thought.
Finally, after searching the rest of the house, Inej got to the living room and climbed the beams. The months spent at sea allowed her more agility, and allowed her the freedom to learn more skills.
Inej had a piece of fish in her hand. She'd snatched it when she'd ran after Ami. Now, as she searched the room with deep brown orbs, she hoped this would be enough bait to lure Ami in.
Sure enough, it was - Ami soon came into the room, mewing. Inej leapt down from the rafters and fed Ami, stroking her fur before picking her up and booping her nose.
"Naughty Ami!" Inej gently scolded as she walked back towards the dining room. "Don't do that again, you worried us!"
"Mew!"
Ami nuzzled Inej as the seventeen-year-old arrived in the dining room. Everyone cheered. Inej laughed softly and passed Ami to Kuwei, who looked positively delighted at having a black cat in his arms. Ami took to Kuwei immediately, purring and melting into a puddle of fluff on his lap. Kuwei laughed and scritched behind Ami's ears.
Inej grinned as she sat down next to her parents. She giggled. They were both asleep.
I don't blame them, Inej thought as she watched her mother snore away. They'd gone to all this trouble for her, and had managed to talk to everyone for a long time on top of that. They deserved a rest.
Sighing softly, Inej looked over to everyone laughing and talking to each other. She saw Ami asleep in Kuwei's arms and smiled.
"Hey."
Specht joined Inej on the sofa. The Wraith leant her head on his shoulder. He squeezed her shoulder comfortingly.
"It's strange being back, isn't it? With everyone."
Inej nodded. It was strange - she hadn't seen most of these people for six months, and then suddenly they all turned up again, out of the blue. The whole experience of stepping down from her own ship to find herself in her parent's arms again was an almost surreal experience for Inej. It felt like she hadn't seen them for years rather than weeks.
She guessed she was getting used to being near them again.
Inej let out a soft sigh. Her eyes glanced around the place. It was cosy. It was home.
With that, Inej drifted off to sleep, head still on Specht's shoulder.
Flowers bloomed in the meadows. Inej was sat down with Laina, and they were playing games. They both threw a ball as far as they could, and laughed when the sun shone brightly down on them.
Laina sat next to Inej when she retrieved the ball for the third time. Inej leant her head on Laina's shoulder. Laina spoke.
"How do you do it? Being an acrobat?"
"Whaddya mean?" Inej asked. She was lazily plaiting Laina's hair, planting gorgeous flowers in the braids. Laina closed her eyes. Inej felt the sun kiss her skin as the two brown girls relaxed, eyes sparkling with happiness.
"I mean as in like...the wire. The walking. You do it so well, Inej."
The Suli girl heard a hint of envy in Laina's voice. Inej lifted her head from Laina's shoulder and took her hands in hers, staring solemnly into Laina's eyes.
"So do you. Don't ever forget that, Laina."
Laina had smiled. In the sun, the flowers glinted like sunbeams, and her cheeks were dotted with delicate petals, floating in the breeze.
Inej had sat still, then, as Laina had braided her hair and put flowers in her plait. The two girls had laughed and eaten the food that they had set out for a picnic. They lay on the blankets. They counted clouds. They spoke to each other in happy tones, laughing uproariously at each other's jokes and teasing one another.
It had all been so innocent then. Inej could still remember the smell of wildflowers, and how Laina's eyes sparkled as the sun had lit up her skin. She remembered her own laughter, her voice lifting up higher and higher until it reached the clouds, loud in its own innocence and its own happiness, vocal about her emotions and sharing them with the world.
What else did Inej remember? So much, so many memories. She remembered her mother's voice as clear as day, talking to her in soft tones, her gorgeous dark brown eyes lit up with the colour of wild geraniums and the golden colour of the sunset. She remembered her father's laughter, his smile, the way he'd lifted her up in the air, spinning her around and hugging her tight. She'd felt happy. She'd felt safe. Inej could recall the way her cousins made each other over, kohl and paintbrushes scattering the grounds, sweet laughter ringing in the air. She could recall the way her mother's eyes sparkled in the sunlight, and how her hands were wizened and brazen from working her hands into rice too many times.
Inej remembered other things, too. She remembered Jesper sipping coffee, talking to her in a low voice, their hands mingling together. She remembered his laugh and the dazzling smile he gave whenever he saw her happy and well after a mission. She remembered Jesper's silence on the anniversary of his mother's death, and remembered his quiet and stillness when she'd gone to him, crying, after she'd made her first kill. He'd hugged her and rubbed her back in soothing circles.
"I'm sorry Inej," Jesper had said - and he'd meant it. Inej had lived as a killer, and he had too - but whether they were choices was the hard part to face. She'd take all those lives again, and she knew it. Jesper knew it, too.
Inej remembered Kuwei's sigh. She remembered rubbing his back, offering him tea. She remembered him turning the offer down, only to find him slumped in a chair, exhausted, with tea of his own. She remembered his wounds and his triumphs, his heart and his goodness. And she remembered his fire - warm, soothing, not intense and wild like her anger had once been. Kuwei understood her, and she understood him. Her dark brown eyes had met his honey gold ones. In those silences they'd sit, watching the city from the suite.
After Inej had had redone her bandages, Kuwei had been waiting for her.
They'd talked. Kuwei had understood what she'd gone through - being taken away from your home and forced to do something you never wanted to do. Inej's heart had ached for such an understanding, when she realised she'd had it, her whole heart filled with warmth, happiness, and most importantly, relief. Relief that she was not alone in this, that someone understood her wholly and completely.
In those silences, Kuwei and Jesper had understood more than anyone ever would.
Kuwei and Jesper understood her nature, her heart, her faith. They did not mock her for her beliefs - rather, they admired her resilience, her goodness, her secrecy and her talents. They admired her ability with knives. They looked at her in a way that no one else would. It made her feel so, so happy and warm inside.
Sometimes, though, Inej still remembered those times where she was forced to do things she didn't want to do. Her heart pounded when she remembered them, and she let her anger fall out of her, completely unbidden, completely justified. She had come to this world for a reason - to stop those people who had destroyed her childhood, and to forever prevent them from doing the same to others. And she'd do that in any way possible. She had her ship, and her crew, and the rest of her friends. She had her dream fulfilled. Only when the last slaver ship was destroyed would her work be done. She knew this and used it, weaponized it, so that no one could hurt those who were like her. She was not the Wraith for nothing. Her title was one word from Wrath.
Inej remembered getting her ship. She remembered her first attack, and her knives that held so much poignance and power. Her knives had helped her through her time at the Dregs, and Inej knew they'd help her here, too. She'd become a killer again. She'd do it for the right reasons, and she'd ensure that those people prayed for forgiveness - forgiveness that they had not earned. They had not earned a swift death, either. They'd earned a fate worse than death, something that Inej knew she'd have to be prepared for. She was not yet ready. She had a long way to go, but everyone who believed in her, everyone who was by her side - they'd all help her call the storm that would destroy the pleasure houses, that would smash the slaver ships to pieces and make sure the Saints did not forgive those who had done such wrong. And that included one specific person that Inej knew no matter how much she prayed, would not get the salvation that she so dearly wished for.
The Wraith was back, and Inej knew one thing.
Tante Heleen was next.