A/N: Based on the song by Ledger. A more detailed version of a previous Drabble.
But I don't think you know me
There's a side you don't see
Been to hell and made it out
My enemy, I'll watch you bleed
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There he was. Wrapped up in chains with the judgment dagger pierced through his heart. This man who looked and acted so much like Uvogin… he had set Kurapika off.
He didn't ever want to kill again, but what other choice did he have? This man nearly killed him and his comrades. This mission wasn't labeled S rank for nothing.
His eyes were piercing red. His face felt like his face was on fire. Old wounds in his heart had been violently ripped open.
And he thought he had come so far…
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His final battle with Chrollo a couple years prior played through his head. Out of the countless abilities Chrollo had stolen, one of them was the power to forcibly replay peoples' memories. He had made Kurapika mentally relive the day he discovered the gory scene of his clan's massacre. And as it would turn out, the shinobi he fought today had a weaker, yet similar ability.
He was in no mood for anyone's nonsense.
Upon returning to the estate, a grumpy elder started harassing him about some overdue paperwork, following him everywhere he went. He paid no attention to Kurapika's wounds or the fact that his eyes were still scarlet. He was bored and wanted something to do.
Kurapika snapped.
"Shut the hell up, you bastard! You don't have the slightest clue what I've been through today. Why don't you take your useless, lazy ass over to the hospital and see what the enemy did to my comrades. I don't owe you anything!"
He pierced the elder's heart with the judgment chain, forcing him to leave him alone.
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How is it that he could come so far, heal so much, and be so transformed… and yet still struggle with rage like this? It's not like it happened often or anything, but he truly thought he had moved past it.
He had apologized profusely to the elder and talked with Rori for a while. Now he was in his room just lost in a trance.
He was trying to meditate on what Rori had told him.
"What if this is something I can never overcome? What if it just keeps coming back and I have to keep facing it again and again?"
"Then you fight, Kurapika. While there's breath in your lungs and until the day you die, you never stop fighting. Don't give this permission to rob you of your own joy and your own life."
This would probably be a lifelong struggle, he supposed. But everyone was fighting their own battles. He wasn't alone.
He was not who he once was. He would not be a slave to rage or bitterness anymore. Those things no longer defined him. He would fight.
~.~
But I'm not dead yet
So watch me burn
Go on trying, lying, you're so sure
I may be broken
But I'm not done
I'll go on fighting, while there's breath in my lungs
'Cause I'm not dead yet
No I'm not dead yet
I'm still awake
I won't go away
It's gonna take more than you can bring
A/N: obviously I don't take credit for the song lyrics