They made it to the crime scene as quickly as they could. Right away, JJ could tell it wasn't good by the looks on the officers faces.
"Jessica Sanders, she had her ID on her," an officer told them.
This time the body had been found on another hiking trail. "He killed in the middle of the day? All of the other murders were committed in the early morning, not many people around, still dark enough that nobody could see much.
"That's not the only thing that's different this time," he said grimly.
"What do you mean?" she asked.
He sighed. "This one was a lot more... violent. And there was DNA left behind. But it'll take a while for DNA test results."
DNA? Oh. She swallowed hard, nodding her head. In rape cases that usually meant semen had been left behind. She glanced over to where her team was already studying the crime scene, and followed them over.
The moment she laid eyes on the body, her head started to spin and her stomach flipped. She couldn't tell if anyone was saying anything over the rushing in her ears.
JJ had barely made it to the SUV, where she rushed behind it, hiding herself from the view of the team and the officers as she heaved, vomiting into the bushes. She desperately tried not to think about what she had just seen, but images of Jessica Sanders' corpse were burned into her eyelids.
Her pale skin, blonde hair, blue eyes... cuts... bruises... blood.
She threw up again.
Blue eyes staring back at her just as they had so many times in the mirror. Skin marked with bruises and scratches. The sight was too familiar.
Bile was all that was left now. She understood what that officer meant by "more violent."
She tried to shut down the images that were flashing behind her eyelids. It was too much.
What if that had been JJ? Would she look like that? Glassy blue eyes staring at nothing. Cold... lifeless.
Her throat burned as tears stung her eyes. She willed them back, telling herself she could cry when she was back at the hotel. But not sooner. Nobody could see her like this.
Hearing footsteps behind her, she pressed the back of her hand to her mouth, turning around. It was Spencer. As embarrassed as she was, she was glad it was him. She felt safest around him. Shaking her head, she turned her face away from him.
"JJ?" he asked softly. "Are you okay?"
She nodded and flashed him a fake smile, knowing he would see right through it. But he wouldn't say so. "Yeah, Spence. I'm okay, I just haven't felt the greatest this morning." Or at all this week.
Spencer's brow furrowed in concern. "What's the matter?"
JJ had to look away again. If she looked into his worried eyes any longer she wouldn't be able to stop the tears. She was struggling enough as it was.
But she couldn't. She couldn't tell him how Jessica looked exactly like her, that the very sight of Jessica's body made her want to wretch until bile had burned her throat. How it made her want to claw at her skin, scrubbing off the memories of all the times she had looked in the mirror, and seen those same bruises around her neck and breasts and stomach and hips. The same scratches in her skin, made only to inflict pain. She couldn't tell him that. Instead, she forced a pained grimace.
"Just nauseous. I think it's some sort of stomach bug, or something. I'll be fine." She could feel him watching her, but didn't dare to look over at him.
"Do you feel like you're going to throw up again?" he asked gently. JJ shook her head. "Okay. I'm gonna take you back to the hotel."
Then she did look up at him. "What? No, no. Spence I'm okay, I promise."
He looked at her with a small, unconvinced smile. "JJ, you need rest. I'll let Hotch know that you aren't feeling well. You can rest at the hotel, and you'll feel better by tomorrow."
Feeling another small rush of nausea, she gave in. She didn't want to get sick in front of the rest of the team, and she didn't know if she could handle seeing the girl's body again. Not right now. She would wait for crime scene photos.
JJ nodded softly. "Okay."
Walking around to the other side of the SUV, she pulled she door open and very gingerly pulled herself up and into the passenger seat. She waited patiently for him to go talk to Hotch. In the meantime, she closed her eyes and settled into the seat.
.
Spencer sighed, his sad eyes resting on JJ for another few moments before he tucked his hands into his pockets, crossing back over to where his teammates stood. He pulled Hotch aside and explained that JJ was feeling ill, and that she'd be taking the day off.
He glanced at the body one last time then averted his gaze, nauseated. She looked exactly like Jennifer.
"I have my cell if you need us," he said and quickly made his way back to the car. He wanted to get JJ to the hotel as soon as possible.
She didn't open her eyes as he climbed in and started the engine, starting down the street. The silence was nice, but he was just itching to break it, and ask her what was really wrong. She looked so small and broken in her seat. He didn't believe that it was a stomach bug. But he didn't want to push her, just hoping that she would come to him, or anyone, when she was ready.
The drive wasn't long, and he was soon pulling into the parking garage. The car jostled as it came to a stop, and JJ looked up sharply. He had a suspicion that she had fallen asleep on the shirt ride. His expression softened as he looked at her.
He climbed out of the car and surprised her by coming around to let her out, helping her down. She thanked him, and together they made their way to the elevator, Spencer making sure to steady her when she wobbled.
They exited the elevator and made their way into the lobby of the hotel. JJ was glad that it wasn't busy. She didnt want to be around so many people. One more elevator and they were waking down the hall toward the group of rooms that belonged to the team.
JJ produced her keycard and he followed her inside. She tossed the card onto the small table, and took her shoes off, sighing. She was very aware of Spencer behind her. Unsure of what to do, she just looked at her bed.
"Why don't you get into some pajamas?" he suggested softly. "I'll go get you something to drink, and maybe something for you to eat when you feel better."
The look she gave him filled him with sadness. She looked so guilty. "You don't have to do that. Really, you can go back to the team. I'll be alright here."
He looked at her and felt himself blush a little bit. "I'd like to stay here if that's alright. I want to make sure you're okay." Did that sound weird?
To his surprise, he saw JJ's cheek turn pink as well. "Well... if you're sure."
Spencer nodded. He was. As she rifled through her duffel bag, he turned back around and made his way to the vending machine. He pulled out his wallet, and grabbed her a few drinks and a snack, as well as something for himself.
He sighed as he bent over to pull the bottle of ginger ale from the machine. Turning it over in his hands, he couldn't stop thinking about JJ. He wanted to know what was wrong. He had his speculations of course, and he was fairly certain he had at least an inkling of what was going on. But he didn't dare bring it up to her. Scaring her off or making her talk about something she wasn't ready to talk about wouldn't do anyone a bit of good. So as much as he hated it, he had no option but to wait for her to confide in him on her own. He hoped she would.
Thinking about how small and helpless she had looked earlier hurt him. She had lost weight, and the look in her eyes was different. He hated feeling like he was losing her. Even though she wasn't his to lose. As much as he wished she was. Spencer shook his head and cursed himself as he gathered up the rest of the snacks and made his way back to JJ.
Entering the room with a quick knock, he smiled when he saw that she was now dressed in sweatpants and a long sleeve crew neck t-shirt. Much more comfortable than her slacks and a blouse had been, he was sure. She was just finishing up brushing her teeth, turning to look at him.
"Feeling any better?" Spencer asked, and she nodded but her smile didn't quite reach her eyes. He pretended not to notice. "Good."
.
JJ hated lying to him, but she wanted him to relax, and not worry so much. He had enough on his plate.
He handed her several cold drinks and a few snacks for when her stomach settled. She took the bottle of cold water, twisting the cap off and taking a grateful sip. It was so refreshing, soothing her dry mouth and throat. Barely resisting the urge to gulp it all down, she settled for a few small swallows before closing it back up. Even though she wasn't really sick, her stomach was still feeling off, and she didnt want to risk throwing up again.
She didn't want Spencer to see her like that.
He handed her some ginger ale and she blushed softly, pleased that he had remembered that it was her favorite. Then there was a small bottle of juice, and a few packs of crackers with peanut butter. "Thank you, Spence."
He gave her a small smile. "Of course. Just let me know if you need anything else."
JJ flashed him a grateful smile, and this time it was genuine. As she turned on the tv, putting on some random movie, she leaned back into the pillows. Even though it was early in the day, it h as d been stressful. She could feel her eyelids starting to droop. But truth be told, she was scared to sleep. Her nightmares were so bad lately.
Before she could second guess herself, she looked to where her friend was about to sit on the other bed in the room, Emily's bed. "Um. Spence?"
He looked up at the sound of her small voice.
"Can you..."
"What do you need JJ?" he asked her, and she felt herself relax as she looked at him.
"Can you sit with me?
His eyes softened at the timid sound of her voice and there was no way he could deny her. Not that he wanted to.
"Of course." He made his way over to the bed and she lifted the covers. Spencer slid under them to sit up with his back against the headboard. Looking down, he saw her look up at him before resting her head on the pillow. "Sleep, Jayje. You need it."
She didn't respond, but less than a few minutes later, her breathing had slowed and he heard a very soft snore. He smiled.
It was now quite a bit later, and he didn't want to leave her, but he was getting hungry and he knew she probably would be too when she woke up. She'd been sleeping for a few hours now and it was just past dinner time. As carefully as he could, he slipped down off of the bed. There was a diner across the street from the hotel.
Grabbing his coat, he opened the door quietly and shut it behind him. He hoped she wouldn't wake up while he was gone.
.
JJ woke up slowly, blinking against the light from the bedside lamp. Closing her eyes again, she groaned as she stretched her body, lifting a hand to rub the sleep from her eyes. It took her a few moments to remember where she was, and she froze for a moment, pulling back into herself as she looked up to see where Reid was. He wasn't in the room.
She did her best to ignore her disappointment, telling herself that she couldn't have expected him to just wait around while she slept. JJ sighed, pushing herself up to sit on bed, pushing her hair out of her face. Pulling the blanket up around her shoulders, she shivered. The room felt empty. She coughed, her mouth dry.
Reaching for her drink, she jumped as the door opened. Reid entered, a bag of food in hand. Seeing her wide eyes, he smiled sheepishly.
"I'm sorry. I thought you'd still be asleep."
JJ shook her head, taking a deep breath. "No, it's okay. You just scared me a little."
Spencer set the bag down on the bed. "I'm sorry. I just thought you might be hungry when you woke up."
She nodded, and on cue, her stomach growled and she blushed. Reid chuckled and reached into the bag.
"I, uh. I though this might be easy enough on your stomach."
Opening the container she found some soup, and he offered her some fries as well. Touched by the thought, she smiled shyly. "Thanks Spence." He nodded
They sat side by side on JJ's bed, eating quietly as they watched whatever daytime television was on. Soon enough their food was gone, and he was surprised to see that she was able to finish all of her food.
As she tossed her takeout container in the small hotel trash can, she felt eyes on her. JJ turned and saw Spencer studying her. He looked away when he saw her looking back at him.
Her gut tightened at the look on his face. "What?"
He glanced over at her, that odd frown on his face still.
"Spence, what is it?"
He looked down at his hands. "I just..." He looked back at her. "Is everything okay, JJ?"
"What? What do you mean?" she asked, panicking slightly. Had he seen something? Is that why he was staring at her? No, all the bruises were hidden. She'd made sure.
His brows were pinched together. "You've just been... You haven't been feeling well a lot lately." Spencer shrugged. "You've been having headaches, and... and you've lost weight."
JJ flinched. "I-I'm fine, Spence, really." Could he hear the waver in her voice?
If he did, he didn't comment on it. "I'm just worried, JJ."
She tried for a smile. "I'm okay, I promise. I just haven't been feeling well, but I'm okay."
He nodded, but she could tell he wasn't convinced. "Okay."
.
Her phone ringing woke her up the next morning. She groaned loudly in complaint, rolling over and reaching for her phone. She hissed, her aching body not appreciating movement. With each day that went by, the throbbing pain in her body only got worse. "Jareau."
Morgan's voice came from the other line. "Hotch just called, a woman was just seen being kidnapped from a park ten miles away."
"Our guy?"
"Witnesses saw him driving off in a white van."
She shook Emily awake and they dressed as fast as they could. Just a few minutes later, the whole team was assembled in the lobby.
Hotch looked to her. "Are you well enough to work today?"
She nodded her head, embarrassed as everyone turned their concerned gaze on her. "Yes Sir, it's passed. Just food poisoning or something."
He nodded and gestured for everyone to follow him to the SUVs. "Okay. In that case, I'd like you to interview one of the witnesses. There were three other people in the park, maybe one of them saw something that can help us. We'll each split into. Morgan and Prentiss, I'd like for you to each take a witness as well. Rossi and I will head to the abduction site, and Reid, I want you to go over everything again, see if you can find anything we missed."
They all nodded and separated into two cars. Hotch and Rossi took one to the park just a few minutes away, and the rest of them were in the other. JJ looked down and noticed that her hands were shaking. She clasped them together, and looked out the window. The station was further than the crime scene, and she wished the drive would go quicker.
Arriving at the precinct, there were three people waiting for them. JJ shook hands with the closest woman. She was around JJ's age, and she was obviously shaken up.
"Hi, my name is Jennifer Jareau, I work with the FBI. I was hoping I could ask you a few questions about this morning?"
She nodded shakily, and followed JJ. "My name is Susie. Susie Kessler."
JJ gave her a friendly smile as she sat her down on the couch in one of the offices. "Susie, thank you for agreeing to this interview. I know it's not something you want to think about."
Susie nodded.
JJ offered her a cup of coffee, and she accepted it gratefully. "Okay, we'll start with the easy stuff. What were you doing at the park?"
"I was waiting for my husband. I had left my laptop at home, and I need it for work. But I didn't have time to go all the way home, so he was gonna come and meet me. I pulled over at the park to wait for him."
JJ gave a reassuring smile. "That's sweet of him." She looked at Susie. "Can you do me a favor? It might help you remember what happened in more detail." The other woman nodded her head. "Okay. Can you close your eyes for me? What happened next?"
"I'd been sitting in my car for about 10 minutes or so. Just around the corner of the sidewalk, this big van pulls up. Nobody got out, just sat there."
"You're doing great, Susie."
"Then I saw a girl, a little bit younger than me, maybe? She was on a run, and she was coming down the sidewalk. She passed by the van, and uh." She swallowed. "The door on the side of the van opened, and a man jumped out. He... he grabbed her and shoved her into the van, and jumped in with her, shutting the door. I pulled out my phone to call the police and a few seconds later he drove off."
JJ nodded her head. "Okay, you're doing great so far. Is there anything you saw about his car maybe, any company logo or anything?"
Susie thought for a few seconds before shaking her head. "No, it was just all white."
"Did you get a good look at him?"
She shook her head. "No, not really. The whole thing only took a few seconds, I mostly only saw the back of him. He looked just like anyone else. Middle aged, white, brown hair."
JJ smiled at her, sighing internally. "Okay. Is there anything else you can think of that you saw? About his clothes, it appearance? Anything is helpful."
Susie frowned. "Wait... yeah. He was wearing a work uniform. Like he was a plumber or something, he was wearing a jumpsuit. I could see a tool belt."
JJ settled her arm on Susie's hand, smiling. "Thank you so much, you helped a lot. We appreciate it."
"I hope it helps."
She exited the office, heading toward the conference room, motioning to Morgan and Emily to follow here. She dialed Penelope on the phone on the table.
"Hello! You have reached the lovely Penelope Garcia, how may I assist you?"
"Hey, Pen, can you patch in Hotch? Him and Rossi and I think I've got something."
"Aye aye!"
A few moments later Hotch had answered. "Hey Hotch, I think I might have a lead. Garcia, do you still have that list up from yesterday?
"List of divorced van drivers at the ready!"
"Great. One of our witnesses said the UnSub was wearing a work jumpsuit with a toolbelt. Can you see if any of them work in some type of labor job like that, plumbers, electricians, construction, mechanics, anything like that?"
"Searching right now!"
They waited, JJ tapping her foot impatiently as they listened to the clacking of Garcia's keyboard.
"Okay, my sweets, I've pulled up all of their employment information. Most of them are delivery drivers and such, a couple are owned by a transport company. It seems only two of them work the kind of job you're after. James Neely and Richard Nelson."
"Tell us about 'em, Mama."
"As you wish. James Neely, 34, is an electrician, he's been divorced for nine months after being married for two years, doesn't seem to be any bad blood between them. He lives alone. Perfect attendance at work, normal guy."
"What about Nelson?"
"Oh boy, he is a whole different story. Richard is Nelson is 45, He owns a small plumbing company, only two other employees. Seems he just laid off almost all his employees, he's racked up quite a bit of debt. His wife filed for divorce three months ago and filed for a restraining order. It seems there were multiple domestic dispute calls to the police but no charged were ever filed."
JJ glanced at Emily and Derek. "What else can you find about the wife?"
"Ex Mrs. Nelson, now known as Michelle... oh snap."
"What?"
"Now known as Mrs. Shaun Landon."
She frowned. "Wait, she's married? They only divorced 3 months ago. "
"Yes, her and her beau got married only 5 weeks after the divorce. I'm looking up more on her now. It seems like she's definitely the active type, they were both interviewed for the local paper at the county's marathon last year." More typing. "Oh double snap."
"What is it Garcia?"
"I found her facebook, and I'm sending you her most recent photo."
JJ waited until it arrived, swearing softly when she opened the photo.
Michelle Landon resembled the victims. She was young, petite, thin. Other than, of course, her rounded belly. "She's pregnant," JJ remarked, surprised. "And she's more than 3 months along."
"So she was seeing this man while she was still married then. She leaves him, gets a restraining order, and he finds out she was pregnant with another mans child."
"Garcia, we need Richard Nelson's address."
"Sending it over as we speak!"
They rushed out to the SUV, putting the address into the GPS.
"You guys start heading to his house, we'll meet you there," Hotch ordered.
"Yes Sir."
The drive was longer than they wanted it to be. The four of them kept shooting concerned looks at one another, Morgan pressing harder on the gas. Twenty minutes later, they slowed as they reached the address Garcia had given them. Not a minute later, Hotch and Rossi were pulling up beside them with two squad cars behind them.
Getting out of the cars, they each donned a kevlar vest and withdrew their weapons.
"JJ, I want you to interact with him. You fit his type, that could throw him off," Hotch said, and JJ nodded reluctantly.
"Yes Sir."
The officers and Morgan went around back while the rest of them approached the front door. Hotch knocked loudly. "Richard Nelson, FBI!"
They heard nothing in response and Hotch steadied himself after nodding to the rest of them. He took a deep breath and kicked in the door. Guns drawn, they filed in, silenty making their way through the living room, kitchen, bathroom, and bedrooms. After each one there was a loud "clear!" The garage was empty too.
"He isn't here," JJ pointed out. Hotch pulled out his phone to call Garcia as the team looked around.
Making her way to the master bedroom, JJ studied the room. It was small, the large bed taking up most of it. There was a tv on the dresser across from the bed, some personal effects, but it was mostly empty. She looked in the closet, sighing as all she saw were his clothing. Turning around, she frowned as she spotted something sticking out from under the bed.
She crouched, pulling out a plastic bin, her eyes widening. "Hotch! Guys!"
The rest of them entered the room, scowling at what they saw. The bin was full of the womens missing clothes, and she sas revolted to see that it seemed as if Nelson had taken to pleasuring himself with them, as was evidenced by the fluid dried onto the clothing.
Hotch swore under his breath, turning his phone to speaker. "Garcia, we need another address. Are there any other properties in his name?"
"The only thing under his name is the house, and an office space for his business, but he's only used it for a couple months, and it isn't private at all. It's in a busy business center, he wouldn't be able to take her there."
JJ frowned. "Garcia, did he own a space for his company before he started using that office? He had to have had another office or something beforehand."
"Let me see," Penelope said quickly, and JJ held her breath. "Okay, so it seems like Nelson Plumbing used to be listed at a warehouse that he was renting. His company was evicted from the space after he wasn't able to play rent anymore."
"Is anyone using the warehouse now?"
"Uhh," Garcia said as she quickly typed on her keyboard. "No, the warehouse has been out of use for two months now, and it's pretty isolated."
Morgan looked at Hotch. "That could be where he took her."
Hotch nodded. "Garcia, we need the address for that warehouse."
"Done, my liege, I have sent it to you! Be safe!" She hung up as the team rushed out to the SUVs.
JJ suppressed a groan as she pulled herself up into the car. She prayed that they would find Nelson at the warehouse so she could rest. All this movement was just so painful and she wanted nothing more than to lie down.
The warehouse was about 10 miles away from his home, and they were all impatient to get there. She could see Emily biting her nails in the passenger seat. Once more, they pulled up to the given address. This time, they could see the large white van parked around the side of the building.
The back exit was a large garage door, padlocked shut, so they all took the front exit. Assuring they were all ready, Morgan tested the handle. It was unlocked, so he glanced at them all as the handle turned, giving one last nkd as he pool ushed it open.
They all filed in quietly. The sight in front of them made JJ want to throw up again, bile rising in her throat.
A young woman laid on the ground crying, a knife to her throat. She had been stripped nude, her clothes thrown all over the floor of the empty warehouse. Richard Nelson knelt between her spread legs, his pants unzipped, just about to...
"Freeze! FBI!" Morgan shouted to her right.
Richard's head flew up at the sound of his voice. As he registered the sight in front of him, he grabbed the girl by her hair, dragging her to her feet. She cried out, terrified, as Richard pulled her body in front of him, knife still at her throat. With his other hand, he reached down to tuck himself back into his pants.
They slowly approached him, their weapons pointed at him.
"Richard Nelson, put the knife down and let the girl go," JJ ordered.
He smirked at her, his eyes angry. "Don't tell me what to do, sweetheart."
Her voice hardened as she stepped closer. "Put the knife down Richard."
His smirk fell away. "Mind your tone with me, bitch. Just like my wife, she didn't know her place either."
JJ's gaze didn't waver, and her hands didn't shake. "Let her go, Richard. I won't ask again."
He sneered. "You stupid bitch. You don't tell me what to do!" he screamed, and within a split second, removed the knife from the young woman's throat, charging at JJ. The girl dropped to her knees.
One loud shot rang out, not from JJ, but from Morgan. It caught Nelson in his shoulder, and he yelled out as he fell down, crashing into JJ. They fell to the ground and she gasped as pain seared through her body. All the air had been knocked out of her lungs.
Immediately, Nelson was pulled off of her and cuffed. "We need a medic!" She heard a voice yell, Hotch maybe.
Stars spun above her as she tried to focus, to tell them she didn't need a medic, she was fine. It took her a few seconds to realize the medic was for the man who had just been shot, not her. She couldn't hold in her whimper as she lifted her arm to press a hand to her forehead.
"JJ, are you okay?"
She blinked as Reid's face came into view. "Y-yeah, I'm fine," she forced herself to say as she took a deep breath, pushing herself up, somehow managing to hold in a groan. The pain was nearly unbearable, in her tailbone, her back, her butt. Her whole body was screaming in pain. The deep bruises marring her skin protested as she climbed to her feet clumsily.
"Are you sure? You don't look okay. That was a pretty hard fall, you didn't hit your head did you?"
"No, Spence, I'm fine," she defended, even as she wobbled, the pain making it hard to concentrate on what he was saying.
"Maybe the medic's should check you out," he said thoughtfully, reaching out to steady her, withdrawing his hand quickly.
"No," she said quickly. Too quickly, by the look on his face. "No, I don't want that, I said I'm fine."
"You're hurt, JJ." His eyes narrowed, but there was no anger or frustration in his expression. "What's wrong?"
She swallowed. Looking around, she realized they were alone, other than an officer in the opposite corner near the door. Glancing back at Spencer, JJ found herself fighting back tears. His eyes held nothing but concern and worry for her, and as she opened her mouth, her words of protest didn't come out. How could she lie to him when he looked at her like that? She could feel her resolve crumbling at the thought of him actually caring if she was okay. She couldn't recall the last time someone else had looked at her that way. The last of her resolve crumbled.
"I..." she whispered. "I can't." His gaze softened as he continued to watch her. "I want to tell you, Spence, but... not yet."
He nodded, accepting that. "Okay," he whispered back. He still looked worried, but she could see that he was wasn't going to pressure her. "Okay."
.
Not yet.
That's what JJ had said to him. But when? What did that mean exactly? Did that mean days, or weeks? Longer?
He hadn't been able to focus on anything all day. After the arrest, they had stayed at the scene as Nelson was bandaged up and taken away in cuffs, and the young woman was wrapped in her jacket and taken to the ambulance to be looked at.
She gave them her name, Monica Pope. Just as the witness had told them, she was out for a run when Nelson had grabbed her and tied her up in his van. They had gotten their just in the nick of time. They all knew that this was something she would never forget, and she would be forever changed by it. But they'd arrived just before he had been able to rape her, and they were all so thankful that she had been spared that, at least.
Then they had gone back to the station while Prentiss stayed behind to take Monica's official statement. Richard Nelson had confessed, thankfully, and They were able to take his statement as well. The rest of the day had flown by in a rush of paperwork, and he couldn't help but notice that JJ had been avoiding him.
He had done his best to keep his distance from her, give her space, and he'd made sure not to watch her like he normally did. The last thing he wanted to do was make her feel uncomfortable around him, even though he knew that was probably a lost cause. He'd been pushing her too hard. Spencer sighed to himself.
He knew that while they were in Washington with the team, they couldn't talk privately, not with them getting ready to fly back home. And he doubted that she wanted everyone else to overhear. Whatever it was, he knew she would tell them eventually, though. They were a family.
But he couldn't stop thinking about her. It had been plaguing his thoughts lately, even more on this case. She was somehow worse. He was pretty sure he knew what was going on. Her and Will were having problems. But how bad was it that she was so withdrawn like this? The more he thought about it, the more he felt sick to his stomach. But he couldn't do anything about it yet. He couldn't know for sure, and he didn't want to make any accusations that would make the situation worse. He just hoped that whatever was going on, she would tell him soon.
So, he was stuck waiting. Until JJ told him, or Garcia, or Emily, or any of them what was happening. Because they were all close, and it might not be him that she goes to first. And that was okay, as long as she talked to someone. No matter what was going on, she needed to talk to someone. The selfish side of him wished that it would be him, though.
Dragging his hands over his face, he groaned and stood up. It was late, nearly midnight, and he couldn't sleep. His thoughts were too loud. They were leaving the hotel at 6am, and as much as he wanted to get at least some sleep, he didn't think he was going to be able to. So instead, he opened his satchel and withdrew a book on mathematics, his notebook, and a pen. He walked over to the small desk that sat against the wall and clicked on the small lamp. Morgan was such a deep sleeper that Spencer knew that it wouldn't wake him up.
Opening the book and readying his pen, he willed himself to focus on the theories and equations printed on the page.
By the time that 5am rolled around, he'd finished the book of course, and nearly every page had scribbles of writing along the margins, underlined words, and numbers, and this notepad and writing filling two of the pages. He yawned, closing the book, making a mental note to grab some coffee down in the lobby. Morgan's alarms would be going off soon enough, and he didn't want the other man to know that he hadn't slept all night.
Standing, Spencer walked over to his bag and slipped the book back inside. Checking his watched, he sighed. He wasn't looking forward to today. He was worried about JJ, and he didn't want her out in the field. But he couldn't exactly stop her, and there was no reason for Hotch to keep her out of the field either. He could only hope the case would be over soon.
Running his hand through his hair, he grabbed a change of clothes and headed into the bathroom for a shower. The hot water did the trick, and by the time he was heading back into his and Morgan's room his head was cleared, and he wasn't so hyper-focused on JJ.
He gave Derek a small smile as he pulled on his socks and shoes, making sure all of his stuff had been packed away.
"Morning, pretty boy," Morgan greeted him as he headed into the bathroom to get dressed as well. A few minutes later, they were looking around the small room to make sure nothing had been left behind. Satisfied, they exited the room to go meet the rest of the team down in the lobby.
Spencer smiled at JJ, and pushed down his hurt when she didn't reciprocate it. His smiled slipped from his face and he shoved his hands in his pockets, staring down at his shoes.
Did I do something wrong?
Maybe he'd just pushed her too far. Maybe nothing was wrong, and he'd overreacted. But then, there wouldn't be a need for a "not yet," would there be? Not if it was just nothing. Either way, he didn't want to make her more uncomfortable than she already was. As much as he wanted to help her, he decided to stop pressing the issue.
With all of them heading to the cars, Spencer climbed into one of the SUVs with Rossi and Hotch, ignoring the confused look that Derek was giving him. Thankfully Hotch and Rossi didn't seem to find it weird, or at least they didn't mention it.
Spencer sighed quietly, leaning his head against the cold window. He was exhausted. Not only because he'd been awake all night, but the stress of this case, and knowing he had upset JJ, it was all just so exhausting. He closed his eyes, using the rest of the drive to the airstrip to shut his brain off and just rest.
When they finally arrived, he startled when Rossi spoke loudly. "We're here, kid."
Spencer opened his eyes, blinking against the bright morning sun as he pushed his door open. Couldn't we have at least stopped for coffee? He'd have to make some on the jet.
They all boarded, taking their seats. Hotch and Dave sat across from each other toward the front, and Morgan and Emily sat next to each other. Spencer could hear them talking and laughing with each other as he headed toward the back of the plane, taking a seat in the chair at the tiny table. He glanced over and saw JJ sitting beside the window by herself. He looked away before she could see him looking. Soon enough, they were taking off.
Once they were up in the air, Spencer stood to start a pot of coffee. It was done quick enough and he poured himself a cup, adding cream and sugar. Sighing, he stared down into the cup for a few long moments before slowly walking back to his seat. Running a hand through his hair, he shook his head, taking another sip of his hot coffee. He hoped it would help him stay awake at least until he got back to his apartment. Then, he could crash in bed for as long as he wanted. His body was exhausted but his brain would settle down and it was giving him a headache.
His pained frown must have been quite prevalent on his face, because Prentiss looked over at him and he could read her concern clearly. She stood from her seat and he sighed internally. Emily made herself a cup of coffee as well, but he knew it was just a cover. He was right.
"Reid?" she said softly.
"Hmm?"
"Are you okay? You look like you don't very well." She studied him.
He forced his lips into a small smile, nodding his head. "I'm okay, just a headache. I didn't get much sleep."
Emily nodded, understanding. "Okay. Hey, do you play some chess? Maybe it'll help you wake up a little bit."
Spencer bit his lip, looking back down at the table. He did want to spend time with Emily, but he was so preoccupied with thoughts of this last case, and JJ, and just being so worn out from barely sleeping recently. He knew he wouldn't be able to focus on a game of chess, and it wouldn't be fair of him to only give her half of his attention.
He gave her an apologetic smile. "I, uh. I think I'm just going to read by book, if that's alright. But next time, definitely."
Thankfully she didn't seem too disappointed. Gesturing to the seat across from him, Prentiss raised an eyebrow. "Do you mind if I join you? I've got my book in my bag."
His smile was genuine this time. "I don't mind."
After retrieving her book, she took the empty seat and they fell into a companionable silence, each with a book in their hand. He relaxed a little bit. He had missed spending time with Emily, and her presence was calming. They carried on like that for the rest of the flight, and if Emily noticed that his pages weren't turning nearly as quickly as they usually did, she didn't comment.
A few times, Spencer had felt somebody's eyes on him. And each time he looked up, he saw JJ looking back down at the screen of her phone, her brows furrowed, and he could see her chewing on the inside of her cheek. She only did that when she was upset.
Reid swallowed the small lump in his throat, turning the page of his book without really comprehending anything he'd just read. He really didn't like the feeling of having JJ upset with him. It wasn't something he had experienced often, but that didn't stop him from wishing it never would again. He didn't like the thought of himself making her frown like that.
He turned the page again. He decided that he would apologize to her next time he was alone with her. She needed a supportive friend, not an overbearing friend. She was probably frustrated with him constantly asking her if she was alright. He sighed quietly as he looked up and saw her look away once more.
Shortly before they began their descent, Spencer drained the rest of his cup and tucked his book away. He looked out the window as they neared the ground, relieved when they coasted to a stop. He tossed his disposable cup in the trash, slinging his messenger bag over his shoulder.
Emily smiled at him. "I'm holding you to your word by the way, I expect a game of chess next time."
Spencer nodded his head, giving her a small smile. "Looking forward to it."
She seemed pleased with his response and turned, heading for the door along with Morgan.
Spencer lagged behind, being the last one to step out onto the asphalt. Everyone else dispersed to their cars, and Spencer turned toward Morgan who had given him a ride. He was surprised, however, to see JJ standing a few feet away, looking at him.
He stiffened, not a fan of confrontation at all. He decided to just bite the bullet.
"JJ, I'm sorry," he said softly, watching her.
That seemed to catch her off guard and her frown deepened as she stared at him. "Spence, I-"
Her voice broke off and as he stared back at her, he was alarmed to see the shine in her eyes as they welled up with tears. She held both hands in front of herself, twisting her fingers together. Her lip was caught between her teeth, and he didn't like the look in her eyes. She looked... scared?
He opened his mouth, but he didn't even know what to say. So many questions were running through his head and he fought the urge to reach out to her, not wanting to upset her further. "JJ?" he whispered.
He heard her sharp intake of breath from where he stood and he took a step closer. She opened her mouth, then closed it. The look in her eyes was breaking his heart.
"S-Spence..." her voice cracked. "Can... can we talk?"
He nodded quickly. "Of course, JJ."
She looked up at him and her lip trembled. "I need your help."