Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Synopsis: 'Know Teddy, that whatever I did, I learned from the best - that's you, of course. We may or may not have locked the troll in a room after finding him. But you know our rotten luck, don't you? Love, Harry' Teddy blinked. "A troll! A goddamn troll, Teddy!" shouted James. "And dad was always complaining about me getting in trouble? This is an outrage! What the heck is going on at Hogwarts?"
A.k.a the time-traveling Teddy and James S. fanfiction no one asked for.
Warning: un-betaed; loosely based on canons, it's gonna go AU; the Teddy/Victoire ship sunk like the titanic, Jeddy if you open your eyes (if you don't want too, keep them close); Teddy is a man and sometimes a woman 'cause he feels like it.
Lost In Time - Jeddy Style
Chapter One - The Duncans
"I can't believe that you-"
"Please, don't make me laugh, you know who I am." arrogantly interrupted a youthful man.
"Would you fucking listen, at least for one fucking minute?" harshly said a young woman.
"Jeez, I apologized, didn't I?"
"Yes, but you didn't mean it!" hissed the scorned lady.
"Look. I know what I did was wrong, but" he ignored the tired groan coming from the angered lady and spoke louder. "But, it's like an adventure! I'm pretty sure dad will help us!"
The odd woman crossed her arms, her golden eyes glaring fiercely at the messy-haired man in front of her; she opened her mouth to retort but was interrupted by a tiny voice.
"Er, excuse me, ma'am and sir, could you please move out of the flowerbed?"
The strange pair turned toward the newcomer and both blinked in surprise at the sight of a little boy, with messy black hair, green eyes, and battered glasses.
"Albie! What happened to you?" loudly shouted the messy-haired man.
The woman pinched the man on his shoulder, and the youth dramatically fell down and… rolled merrily on the flowers. The tiny boy whimpered at the sight of a grown-up inevitably destroying his aunt's dainty flowers (and his work); grown-ups were really useless and inadvertently gave him more work to do. The boy let out a small groan of displeasure, for he undoubtedly knew that he was the one who will be unjustly punished again; his aunt won't believe the truth, not if it comes from him, she never did.
"Are you stupid? No. Don't answer that, after what you did, how could I question that?" sarcastically finished the woman. She crouched down in front of Harry, her golden eyes meeting his green orbs, she gave him a small smile.
"Hello, are you Harry Potter?"
The boy's jaw dropped, after a few seconds of silence when they both decided to ignore the drama queen still rolling on the flowers, he bravely nodded.
"Good. Good." said the woman with a cheerful smile."Is your family at home? I think they could help us?" continued warmly the blue-haired lady.
"Well... not really," said Harry, as he tried and failed to imagine the Dursley helping someone in the need. "Aunt Petunia went grocery shopping. She'll be back in a few minutes, though." His eyes awkwardly focused on the destroyed flowers.
The unknown woman got up and pushed resolutely the messy-haired man from the flowers, who rolled merrily toward Harry. He instantly gave the tiny boy a wide grin, and something in Harry thought that this odd man was very familiar to him as if he was a friend from his past, and that was some weird feelings for a seven-year-old boy.
"Let's go inside, I could go for a coffee." said the blue-haired woman.
Harry scrunched his nose, and so did the man who rolled in the flowerbed as he got up. The green-eyed boy naturally hesitated - could he really allow two strangers to enter the Dursley's home? But if he didn't, aunt Petunia will falsely accuse him of intentionally destroying the flowers, which he didn't destroy! With that thought in mind, he nodded grimly and willingly let them follow him inside.
A few moments later, Harry and his two unknown guests were sitting comfortably at the table and sharing a plate of biscuits. The woman carefully made him a nice fresh lemonade which was the ideal drink for his dried mouth due to chores done under the scorching summer. Not unexpectedly, as every joyous moment stopped, his limited happiness reached its end as his aunt entered the house and caught them red-handed. His face paled drastically as his aunt screeched angrily, her blue eyes instantly freezing his blood - and the boy thought at that critical moment, that this was the end; he will die here, by the hands of his aunt and in front of two strangers-slash-guests.
"Who let the giraffe escape from the zoo?" interrupted the man with the messy hair.
The boy and his aunt's heads sharply turned toward the man; this man was either brave or he must have lost one or two brain cells in the flowerbed, thought Harry. The blue-haired woman groaned as her head harshly hit the table, Harry hoped she didn't bruise.
"Excuse me!" loudly hissed Aunt Petunia, her fists gripping harshly her bags full of groceries.
"You're excused." wittily replied the man with an easy grin.
And then, everything went weird. (Harry suspected the homemade lemonade.)
Instead of screeching, Aunt Petunia's face paled drastically - the grocery bags fell on the floor with a raucous sound, and Harry could see the red tomatoes crushed under the chicken. His aunt was trembling uncontrollably as she dramatically raised her arm and pointed accusingly at the messy-haired man.
"You… You…"
Her wide blue-eyes were glazed, she continued to point scornfully at the man, and her astonished gaze fell on the blue-haired woman who was sitting near the man - she was sitting too close, exactly like that man sat near her s-
"You killed Lily!" shouted loudly Petunia Dursley. "It's your fault she's dead! You took her from me! And you left me with her boy! You filthy cockroach! Liar! FREAK!"
Harry's face paled dramatically. He didn't know who was Lily, but that sentence - 'you left me with her boy' and she said 'FREAK'. His teary green-eyes focused on the man who had seemed so familiar, he understood now - this man with the tousled hair, the kind grin, the warm brown eyes - this man was his f-
"Wait a m-"
"AND NOW, YOU DARE ENTER MY HOME WITH YOUR MISTRESS." screeched Petunia, her teary eyes glaring daggers, she started to march toward that man.
And then she froze. She literally froze. (Was it the lemonade?)
"I think that you are misunderstanding the situation." firmly interrupted the blue-haired woman. "This is James… Duncan, cousin of James Potter. We have nothing to do with the Potters' murder."
"Hold on, my family was murdered? !" repeated loudly Harry, his vivid green-eyes wide open as he tried to understand all those new pieces of information.
"You don't know?" incredulously questioned the man called James.
"Not now James. Listen, Mrs. Dursley, we need to contact professor Dumbledore." calmly continued the blue-haired woman.
"No. I won't listen!" shouted the frozen Petunia, her pinched face was still pale and her eyes contained only anger and fear. "You left me with the boy; we had to take him, feed him, and now, you're telling me that you could have raised the freak! He should be with you, in your world! We took him in the kindness of our heart because he was the orphaned son of Lily and that he had no one else! But you!" hissed the blonde, her cutting blue eyes were fixed on James. "You could have taken him! You must have money!"
"Hold on lady. You're telling me nobody is paying you to raise Harry?" asked James, his arms crossed as he tilted his head.
Petunia blushed guiltily and suddenly averted her eyes.
"It is not enough to cover the expense of a big family. " snottily said Harry's aunt.
Harry turned his wide eyes on his aunt.
"You lied to me?" shouted the child. "You told me that I have to earn my keep!"
"What?" angrily asked the blue-haired woman as she glanced at Harry and turned her eyes back on Petunia, her eyes were, strangely enough, the color of burning lava.
"Ha ah!" loudly said James, "So someone is paying you! And you lied to Harry?! You know, that woman is one of the best Auror in the country; she could arrest you and put you in Azkaban, lady!" finished the young man as he pointed at the blue-haired woman.
Aunt Petunia paled again and whimpered.
"We took him in." whispered the blonde, her voice sounding loud in the silence of the room. "We kept him, raised him, fed him."
"You let me eat the leftovers of the leftovers, the burnt food, and the bread crumbs! You lock me in my cupboard every time if I don't do all my chores!" screamed Harry, feeling betrayed that his aunt had lied to him, that he had family who had never cared for him and that now, a weird cousin of his dad was back but didn't seem to care about Harry.
"What do you mean by 'my cupboard?' " sharply asked the man, his eyes now on Harry.
"The cupboard under the stairs, it's my room. And what's it to you?" angrily asked Harry. "You just want to find that professor Dumbdoor, or whatever?"
James snorted loudly, and the blue-haired woman sighed.
"I need a moment so everybody shut up." coldly said the woman. "And I mean it, James."
An awkward moment of silence entered the kitchen, and Harry didn't dare interrupt the blue-haired woman, not when even his father's cousin was also silent. They all ignored the still frozen Petunia who was trying and failing to move.
"Okay." muttered the blue-haired woman. "James and I have returned to the Isles recently. We thought that Harry was living safely here, but apparently, that's not the case." she glared pointedly at the blonde frozen woman. " We're taking him with us, Dursley. You needn't tell Dumbledore, we'll be having words with him."
The messy-haired man whimpered in protest and found himself under three glares.
"You'll take him?" asked aunt Petunia. "Promise me that he will never come back."
"I can't promise that. There's a war in our world, a cold war which is going to turn into a real one. If James and I were to die, he may have to come back. But, I swear that if both of us were to die, you will be the last family where he will go to." finished the woman, her serious golden-eyes meeting cornflower blue.
Aunt Petunia nodded in agreement and Harry's heart was hurting. He knew that his aunt and the Dursleys had never wanted him, but she gave him to two strangers without asking for his opinion.
"Harry." continued the blue-haired woman. "Is that okay with you?"
No. No, it wasn't okay with him, but aunt Petunia threw him out, didn't she? He was unwanted here, he had always known that fact but he didn't think she would really do that to him. Why doesn't she care?
"Yes." murmured Harry with a hiccup.
"Oh, no, Harry, don't worry, we'll take care of you. But if you really want to stay with your A-"
"No!" interrupted loudly Harr, startling the lady. "No, it's okay I'll go with you." whispered the boy.
They took the bus and the train to London, Harry tried to be brave as he followed his new… caretakers. He had always dreamed that one day, someone - his family - would come to save him from the Dursleys. He had dreamed that they were heroes fighting in a war and learned recently that Harry was alive, he dreamed that his father would have been in a long coma and wasn't dead like the Dursleys told him and that his dad would come back for him - that he will stop drinking and properly raise Harry.
Now, his family had come.
He had been saved, but why wasn't he happy? Why did it hurt to know that his aunt had really abandoned him in the hands of his father's… supposed relative? The man didn't even want him from what he understood; the blue-haired woman was the one who had taken him in, and even so, she hadn't prioritized Harry over that professor she was searching for.
Still, he followed them.
Only because he had no one.
Maybe they would let him in an orphanage in London, he could start anew, or would they leave him on the streets? Will he survive? He wasn't sure, but he will try.
"We're here." said the blue-haired woman.
"Grimmauld Place. Really?" dead-panned James.
"Yes, Grimmauld Place." hissed the woman, she turned toward Harry and crouched gently. "Listen, Harry, we will explain everything to you, but please be silent when you enter the house. James and I haven't been to the house yet, so I don't know what we'll find, okay buddy ?"
He nodded hesitantly, it wasn't as if he had a choice, really, thought the boy. He followed the pair and frowned at their strange drumsticks, they looked alert and entered the house. A putrid smell came out.
"Oh god, can't we go to the Leaky at least ?"
"No money on me, Jamie. Besides, it's dangerous."
The lady waved her stick and suddenly everything smelled better. Harry didn't even have the time to ask questions, because many eyes were on him. His heart nearly froze, the walls were dreary and the ceiling was high, but there were heads - heads of some kind of fairy tale creatures on the walls; it looked like goblins - goblins colored with a strange mix of green-grey, they had long pointy ears, and eyes the size of a golf ball. - They were watching him with their big glossy eyes, he trembled in fear, he could feel that something was wrong in the house.
Suddenly, he heard the sound of crashing, his heart nearly leaped out. However, the sound came from the blue-haired woman who had fallen on the ground after stumbling on some kind of umbrella strand - which looked more like a monster's nail. Were those rotting nails? Ew. - Her fall doomed them all, for a woman screeched.
Someone was screaming.
"FILTH! BLOOD-TRAITORS! FREAKS!"
The blue-haired woman cursed softly as she got up, and quickly walked toward a… portrait. That would have been anti-climatic, except that the sound came from the portrait- the portrait could talk. - Something strange was happening here, something that he knew was going to shock him. Harry was too surprised to speak; he was still trying to process what was happening to him.
The portrait stopped her screeching and looked at the glaring blue-haired woman.
"Great-grand-aunt Elladora ?" mused the startled portrait of a Lady from the past.
"Langlock." muttered the woman while she moved her drumstick in a weird way.
James also approached the portrait and pointed his own wand…Harry wasn't stupid, a magical stick was a wand; this must be a dream.
"Petrificus Totalus. I'll do a rune on her later."
"Good call James." said the now smiling blue-haired woman. "Let's go to the kitchen, in the basement. Those elf heads look pretty disturbing."
The scene was similar to what happened earlier, the only difference was that they were now in a basement in London, a weird creature was frozen on the ground instead of his aunt, and now it was nighttime.
"I'm a- what?"
"A wizard, Harry." answered the kind lady.
"That's why strange things happen around me." solemnly muttered the young boy. "The Dursleys were right, I really am a freak."
"No, no. Harry, you aren't a freak, besides we're also wizards - James and I."
"Oh."
That's right, they did use those drum- those wands. A grumbling sound interrupted his thoughts.
"So… Shall I get take-outs?" asked James with a large grin.
The woman looked at the messy-haired man with a pointed look.
"Jeez, I'll be careful, you can trust me, I'm serious." he waggled his eyebrows.
The blue-haired woman opened her mouth to protest, but she stopped and gave him a small nod.
"Come back quickly."
"Don't be such a worrywart. See ya, Harry!" waved the man with a smirk, he kissed the woman's cheek and quickly avoided her punch. "See ya, Teddy!" And he disappeared with a loud crack, making the woman groan in desperation.
"So your name is… Teddy?" asked Harry, now more curious than ever.
She blushed in embarrassment.
"Can't believe I didn't introduce myself, shit. Wait, you're a kid, I shouldn't swear in front of you. Sorry Harry, but yeah, my name is Teddy, well Edward, but call me Teddy."
"Your name is Edward?!" shouted Harry. "But you're a girl, no?"
Teddy blinked and glanced down at his womanly curves before snorting.
"Right…There are some things you need to know Harry..."
"Wait. So everything was a lie? No. That James dude disappeared, and you froze the speaking painting, the elf, my aunt." rapidly launched Harry.
"Harry, promise me that you're not going to tell anyone our secret." asked Teddy, her golden eyes piercing his soul.
"I promise."
It's not like he had any friends.
"James and I are from the future."
"The future?!"
"Yep, the future."
Harry frowned and looked at the woman, she was looking straight at him, the corner of her lips turned up in a timid smile but her eyes were confident. Harry wouldn't have believed it, but maybe, if it had to do with magic, it could be possible, couldn't it?
"How? And why?
"James." said Teddy as if it explained everything, and in a sense, it did. Harry met James today, but something about him smelled trouble, not in a bad way though, the man was pretty funny. "And yeah, it was accidental. But I guess we're stuck."
"You can't go back to the future?" asked Harry, shouldn't Magic be able to send them back? - If it existed, that is.
"No, we can't… If you want, hm, magic, it's a little bit like technology, it evolves, people research it."
"People do magical research?" confusedly asked Harry.
"Yeah, James does that actually. People who possess magic belong to the magical world, and we call people such as your aunt's family, muggles, and they live in the muggle world."
"Muggle." repeated Harry, what a funny word.
"The magical world has its own laws, its own ministries, and its own schools."
"Really? Where is this world? Is it on Mars?" excitedly asked Harry.
"Er. No, it's here, but wizards and witches have to stay hidden." answered Teddy, her golden eyes twinkling in amusement.
"You're not pulling my leg, are you?" tried Harry one last time.
"No buddy. We really live here. It's just that, there's a thing called the international statute of secrecy, which was created in 1689 to protect our community from muggles. "
Harry was flabbergasted, the lady kindly smiled at him.
"Ask all your questions, Harry, I will try to answer them all. "
She winked playfully at him and he felt that, despite all the weirdness, everything was going to be fine with the Duncans.
- To be continued
AN: Should I really be starting a new fic when there's are so many I haven't finished? No. But I swear this one really wanted to come out! Even if I don't know if I'll ever finish it, ha, ha, ha*hides back inside a burrow*