Poison

Inspired by season 14 episodes 21 and 24; bad reputation and all of me.

Confused Meredith, drunk Andrew, Cristina being Cristina and the Karev's wedding.

This is a messy scrap that I had, but I feel like, after those three episodes, we need something light.

If mommy bought milk and it was spoiled, and I have to return it.

Some mundane words Meredith told her daughter will define the rest of her life without knowing. She wanted to hide the humongous mistake of having an award named after a sexual assaulter from her child; an ordinary parenting move. However, nothing is that simple with her. There is always a message within her words, in this case, an Italian Garfunkel.

After dropping her kids at school, she was driving to the hospital with her mind acting like a blender. She needed to talk to someone who would judge her a lot to the point she would be able to see her errors. Without taking her eyes off the road, she grabbed her cellphone from her purse and pressed the speed dial. "I called him Andrew in front of Zola." She said, in her classic, Meredith Grey is on a crisis tone.

"Considering how you been calling him in your bedroom, that's no surprise for me." Her best friend, Cristina Yang, answered quickly. The time difference was rude with them sometimes. Today, for their luck, was an exception. It was her paperwork day, or better called, her free day.

"I should've never told you that." She rolled her eyes. A week ago, Dr. DeLuca started crashing on her couch. And after a bad day at work with a lot of tequila exchanged between, six days ago, he started crashing her room just to leave before dawn. As expected, she told her best friend right away, and since, she hasn't heard the end of it.

"And you shouldn't be sleeping with a resident who just got dumped yet, here we are." Meredith could hear Cristina putting her feet on the desk, getting ready to have more fun with her situation. "At least he is any good? With all his crying and complaining during the day, it's hard for me to picture him all Magic Mike like Bello said he is." It's an expected Yang type of comment; she should have been prepared for it; instead, she's regretting the call at the mention of that particular last name. Andrew's ex was a nice, chatty person to Meredith's dislike; however, she was also a promising doctor and an excellent addition to her best friend's hospital. "Why are you silent? Oh my god, you are jealous."

"I can't get jealous of his deported girlfriend after less than a week of uncommitted sex," None of them bought it. "I was taking a difficult turn." She placed both of her hands on the wheel, straighten her spine, moving a little bit to pretend to feel confident when nobody was watching. She was in some trouble. "That's not I why called you!" They never get irritated with each other, it's just a fun game, sometimes annoying, but that's how they work.

"Mhm," Meredith heard how her friend bit an apple, "Okay, you called him by his name, what's wrong with that?" There was a silence that indicated that her best friend was making that face she does when someone is stating the obvious. "Fine, you're getting comfortable with the depressed Italian guy who lives on your couch and makes you scream at night when you obviously don't want to. Kick him out." Her chewing made it hard to understand what she was saying, but the message was clear. She doesn't have to deal with someone she doesn't want to.

"I can't kick him out. He's suffering; besides, it's easier for me if he's already in my house." Truth to be told, she was starting to care about Andrew, just a little -they have been sleeping together for six days, it's not like you can think about marriage-, but enough to scare her. "And he makes great cappuccinos. It's a win-win." He barely moved out of the couch on those days, but when he did was to please her in all the possible situations she was able to picture.

" Meredith, the guy, is heartbroken and seeking comfort in your lonely bed. It's a surprise to me he hasn't called you by his ex's name." A supposedly to be a harmless joke cut deep on her. It was bizarre if Andrew was using her or if she was using him on whatever it was their type of relationship. One thing was for sure; it was leading them nowhere. "I'm not saying you can't keep seeing him." Cristina paused to think carefully about her next words. "I'm just saying you have to put boundaries between you and your booty call." She could picture perfectly how her best friend sat straight and put her apple to the side on her desk to speak in a more serious tone.

The visualization can't compensate for the distance, but it helps.

"Boundaries, you're right." It was logical and what she needed. She wanted to keep seeing him without strings attached. Not living in the same place will be a great start. "Maybe I can make Alex kick him out."

"Isn't he the same Italian resident he hit the hell out?" Good point.

Getting Andrew out of her house was easier than she thought. A couple of lies here and there, a pediatrician, a sister, and there you had it, problem solved, or not. When he came back to the hospital, he seemed to be doing angrily fine, the expected from someone like him who always felt everything too deeply.

They didn't stop seeing each other, they couldn't, and they didn't want it. They were each other's anesthesia, a safe escape to forget about their lost loves. None of them demanded more than what the other could give. They would find Wonderland in their arms just to lose it over and over again when they were apart.

It was safe to say that besides the mind-blowing sex, there was some talking involved. Nothing meaningful; just the basics to not make them feel like they were in some bizarre one-night stand situation. Once Meredith revealed at an elevator that she knew Italian, and understood every single word between him and Carina. Andrew felt embarrassed and inspired for the next step in the relationship (if you feel obligated to call what they have something).

They would meet at on-call rooms, the rooftop, stairs, supplies closets, anywhere it was available for them to have a little fun and forget about their worries. They were going through a lot simultaneously, she having to bring down a part of her mother's name and him still being bitter about Sam. Their extracurriculars were frequent, passionate, totally secret, and to their knowledge, nobody was suspecting anything.

They had learned to communicate through their eyes so quickly that words weren't necessary, something that helped with the discretion. Andrew had been focusing a lot on peds so they were rarely on the same case, their lunch breaks were different, and he still carried the whole 'she hates me for almost putting her best friend in jail' so that was another advantage. Nonetheless, that didn't stop the teasing and sometimes too obvious sexual tension.

Meredith discovered that the more comfortable he was getting, the more handsy -and cocky- he was. He was obsessed with sneaking his hand to the skin of her waist whenever he was capable just to lay his fingers there without doing anything. Also, he loved to unhook her bra on her way out of any room that they used; he has done it all the time. It was annoying, but she never showed any opposition to it.

She also discovered new things about herself. First, she loved to whisper to Andrew in his ear and see how tense he gets from it. Second, she did need the company. She was enjoying way too much that she didn't mind having to kick him out of her room before her sisters find out, to do all kinds of things quickly, to not be there for him twenty-four seven. She loved the simplicity of not having anything and everything with him.

It has been almost three months of illicit encounters who progressively evolve to secret meals, he made for her sometimes to enjoy in the on-call room on the general surgery floor. It seemed reasonable to know each other on the inside a little bit better as time kept moving with how well they knew the exterior; nevertheless, something was changing. They were texting on a daily basis with phone calls on the nights they weren't spending together -which were rare- yet they refused to believe there was more to them than desire.

On the night of the first day of April's hospitalization, there were fireworks between them. Meredith seemed to be going through something Andrew couldn't understand, yet, he wanted to help. That night they barely touch the other. They just talked until they fell asleep to wake up tangled in what they thought was more than an embrace. That night, feelings were involved.

"I'm serious, Cristina." Meredith was hidden, sitting while eating some baby carrots in the corner of Bailey's office. It was an excellent place that was always empty at midnight. "He was looking at me with puppy eyes." She bit her carrot with fury. Why their perfect little arrangement had to be going down?

"Why do we always talk about the obvious? Meredith, you were naked in front of him. He is not going to look at you the same way." Cristina was doing her morning rounds while talking to her best friend. People around were looking at her as if she were crazy to be using headphones while treating patients, but nobody dared to question her.

"That's the thing, I wasn't naked!" She screamed at the phone for better emphasis of her outrage, making Cristina grunt for the loud noise directly to her ears. "We were just…" She pauses to take a second to relive such fond memory. "-talking and eating some leftovers of my fridge, nothing worthy of a moment." She can remember how they gravitated around each other that night. They were sharing deep little moments of their lives in mumbles, doing domestic activities. Intertwining hands when their closeness demanded; even though that was a violation of their unspoken rules. Andrew was there for her when he didn't have to, it worried her, the last person who did that for her wasn't even alive.

"I would never encourage you to do something stupid like dating a resident, but it seems to me that you already are." A bucket of cold water fell on her with those words, reality hit her like a truck. "Make it official so you can save all the useless sneaking out that I genuinely believe you suck at it. Honestly, Mer, when you are in love, you have this dumb face." Cristina hasn't seen her in years and dared to make comments like that. She was seriously questioning how people around her think she looks when she's around Andrew.

"Who- said- said- something about love?" Meredith almost choked with a carrot. They had known each other for some years, but only six months ago, she started to remember his name and having actual conversations with him, which was double of the time they have been seeing each other. It was delirious to assume something so serious and terrifying.

"So, if I send you back his lovely ex-girlfriend, you'd be fine with it?" Cristina was aware that it was a low blow, but if she didn't press her, her best friend would never open up.

"Why would you imply something so vicious?" Meredith remarked instantly. "And besides, it won't be the first time it happens to me." Riggs was the person who showed her she was still capable of feeling something. Losing him was bittersweet. She was happy, jealous, and mad at him, all at the same time.

"Because you are not listening to yourself. We are talking about giving it a go with a hot European guy that you have at the palm of your hand, and you are hesitating." Their friendship was never about puking feelings or telling the other what they wanted to hear. It was about having someone who could read you like an open book and was more than willing to make an essay about it. "Mer, do whatever you want to do. Date him, screw him or dump him, it doesn't matter, just do something about it." As if life was sending Cristina a sign, Sam Bello walks in front of her. Neither of them acknowledges the presence of the other. She just stare at her lost in her mind.

She wants her person to have the life faith took from her, but she wasn't making it easy. Meredith was given an excellent piece of advice and did what she does best. She ignored it completely. Andrew was slowly turning into that non-friend person for her. She will always call him first for the big and little news. They would buy each other's coffee (it's outstanding how nobody seemed to care that they were always carrying around an extra cup). She'd help him whenever he got stuck on a case; he'd always make sure she got all her paperwork done. He was becoming more indispensable for her, a fact that triggered her runaway senses.

According to her logic, the stronger the bond, the stronger the measures. Their special meetings were lesser; however, way more calculated to keep the secrecy, they started happening more and more often at her place thanks to the apparently stable status of her sisters' relationships.

She could feel how they were getting closer, too closer, nevertheless, she would find him sometimes staring at pictures on his phone or looking for a huge amount of time at walls with a lost look in his eyes, the same one she has from time to time when she thinks about Derek. She wanted to know where they were standing, on the other hand, that would lead to a longer conversation she didn't want to have because it would end with him walking away from her. So, she flowed with it. Having half of him was better than nothing, but being alone at a wedding was way worst.

I don't think love is like candy, I don't think you could be too greedy for it, and I don't think you could fill up on it.

Meredith has way too much on her mind to be overthinking her daughter's words. She may lose Alex today; that should be her number one worry, not some silly conversation. Her thoughts were spiraling because it was true; she has more love to give. She has been living on autopilot. Hanging on only for other people, never for her, breathing in and out and painfully feeling how the days pass her by, meaningless.

"Hey! I thought we were late. Where is everybody?" Amelia pulls her out of her alcohol thoughts. Her sister arrives with her whole pretend family -a problem for later- and a cheerful attitude that only makes her take a bigger gulp of her whiskey.

"Bad GPS link, they all went to the wrong location." For her luck, more time before she has to say goodbye to her person.

"Oh, wow!" Her sister says astounded, but she doesn't get it if it's because of the lack of guests or her starting the party early. "Owen never uses GPS; he is like a walking GPS whereas I can get lost on the way to the bathroom." Amelia is annoying her faster than usual in addition to being a widow in a happy wedding, Meredith can't help her humor. Just the sight of the cake sends her face to complete disgust.

"Meredith, you okay?" Maybe it was her irritated gaze towards the cake or her seriousness, whatever it was, her sister notice she was loathing to be there.

"No." My best friend is leaving, my Italian resident is in love with someone else, and I'm not supposed to care because we're nothing. I feel nothing for him, and my daughter is forty. "I feel less okay than I have in a long time." Better to keep it simple and add a classy touch to the vomit of sentimentality with another sip of her drink.

"Oh, my God. I knew it!" Amelia squealed with way too much enthusiasm.

"Knew what?" She reviews the possible answers in her mind, yet she comes inconclusive about what her sister's referring to.

"You're in love with Alex. It's okay. I'm not judging." Never in her wildest dreams, she thought of something that stupid would leave Amelia's mouth. "I have suspected it for years, but it's a bad day for the revelation."

"Amelia, stop talking." The alcohol was beginning to hit her for her sister's luck. In another situation, she would probably put her hand on her mouth to stop her from rambling.

"Right, because people could hear, and that would be really bad." Meredith rolled her eyes to the point she almost felt them pop out of her face.

"No, because I'm not harboring any secret feelings." For him. "You may be harboring secret feelings for your ex, who you're playing house with, but I am not in love with Alex." She made sure to say every single word to Amelia's eyes to send the message clear and straight.

"Fine, you're in love with DeLuca." Meredith wasn't even drinking; yet, she choked when those words were processed by her brain. "Please tell me at least I'm right. I already had enough humiliation for a day."

"And I already had enough of you for the day." She walked out without explanation. Normally, she would find a way to ignore/listen to Amelia, but not today. However, her sister's curiosity reminded her how messy her situation was hence it was time to do something about at least one of her problems.

She made the rush decision of creating a fellowship for Jo to keep them at Grey-Sloane, it was a bulletproof plan, and she had to tell her now before they decide. Life hates her sometimes, on her way to the bridal suite, she bumped into someone, her someone.

"I'm so- Meredith!" It was quite comical how baffled they both appeared. He wasn't supposed to be here, they talked about it, and he never said anything about coming. "Carina invited me as her plus one. Apparently, she and Jo bonded over her offering for her study." She was speechless. When did he learn to read her so well?

"Ouh!, good for you." She patted him on the chest and started walking, but he pulled her by the arm closer to him. They were breathing the same air; their noses were touching, their eyes fully connected. They didn't move for a few seconds enjoying the company and the heat of their bodies. Even though they saw each other yesterday, there was a sense of reunion. "Someone could see us." Meredith whispered. They weren't somewhere public, but it was near the entrance, too risky.

"You're acting as if that didn't turn you on more." He was teasing her. Controlling the velocity of his words, keeping his eyes on her lips, and slowly stroking her arm, letting his fingers dance around her without cautions. "Per favore." His Italian makes her knees wobbly; she has to hold him tighter to not fall.

Fuck it.

Their lips met in a passionate kiss that communicates every little thing they will never say out loud. It messy, and they're ruining their hair with hungry hands that didn't seem to get enough of each other. Andrew wanted to sneak his tongue in her mouth, but Meredith knew that if she allowed it, she would probably drag him to a room, and she needed to make Jo the offer.

"Enough, it's my best friend's wedding. We are not doing this." She takes a few steps back, fixing her hair and putting space between them, not trusting her self-control. When it comes to him, sometimes she even forgets her name.

"Come on, Mer, you know it's time." He -understandably- was getting tired of having to hide his feelings for her. They were dating, or at least that was the way he was defining their relationship. But Andrew was afraid to say it out loud because he knew she would cut him off without a second thought.

"Time for what?" Oblivious Meredith was the worst Meredith because she never meant it; of course, she knew what he was referring to, but she wasn't ready. Once the bubble burst, all can go to hell, like right now.

"Don't play that one on me. You know perfectly what I'm talking about." Andrew knew that she was going to reject her feelings and push him away. He decided to cut some of the distance between them, being aware of how vulnerable she can get under his gaze.

"I want to hold your hand in public," He grabs her hands, bringing them up to interwind them so she can appreciate how well they go together. "I want to have lunch with you at an actual table," They both laugh at that. The bunks in the on-call room may not be the best tables. "I want to cross eyes with you unapologetically," He lets go of one of her hands to take her chin. Making sure she sees how much he means every single letter. "-and the most important thing." His hands travel to her cheek. At this point, Meredith forgot where they were and what they were saying before. "Voglio mostrare a tutti come tieni il mio cuore nel palmo della tua mano."

I want to show everyone how you hold my heart in the palm of your hand.

Meredith felt something expand on her chest. Filling her with a sense of relief and other sensations, she was not ready to mention them; however, ready for him to understand. She starts the kiss this time around, less raw, less needy, just pure emotion, and enjoyment. Euphoric, it was the only way to call it. Their mouths take their time to rediscover the other, she tastes like whiskey, and he tastes like beer. An awful combination seemed like the sweetest most delightful thing in the world right now.

Time is frozen, and they are the only people left in the world. Nothing else matters like them. "I want it too, but I can't, at least not today." She doesn't even know how she managed to speak after being breathless seconds ago, but she does it because someone has to stop. Today was not about them.

"I have to be there for Alex and make sure he doesn't move to Boston." She can see the disappointment in his eyes as they fell to the floor in defeat. "Hey, hey, I'm not saying it's impossible, just give me one more day, then we figure this out and see where it leads us." As if taking turns, now she holds his chin and gives him a bright smile that he takes as comfort, still not being satisfied with her response.

"One more day, I can take it." His eyes don't match his words, nonetheless, and as much as it hurts, Alex is her priority. She gives him a quick peek and leaves until he walks away out of her sight. One problem semi-down, a thousand to go.

She has her talk with Jo making sure she doesn't sound pushy, considering she already sounds desperate. Though no one could blame her, she has taken enough loss for two lifetimes already, holding on to one of the few people left was rational. What wasn't rational was the universe's necessity of crossing her path with Andrew's in very public areas.

She stares at him from the distance. He is wearing a grey suit -corny Italian, she thought- that accentuates all his attributes, enhancing them to a point greater than perfection. His orange tie complements the outfit while bringing a colorful touch, and don't get her started on his hair. She could talk about those curls for hours. Just the mere thought of her finger running through his hair makes her bite her bottom lip in a very lascivious inappropriate way.

Meredith feels the need of getting closer to him and, without thinking, walks to where he is touching his arm to warn of her presence. "I offered Jo an attending job." She said with a mischievous smirk. Casual talking was common between them. It would usually happen while they're putting their clothes on, but there wasn't any difference with this new context, was it?

"You did what? You offered her an attending job? Why did you do that?" The speed of his words barely managed to express his surprise. It sounded like an impulsive decision, it wasn't much of her style, and these days, she would have told him before doing anything. He can be unsure about many things regarding their relationship, but he is sure she tells him everything.

She could sense some jealousy in his voice, which was reasonable. "She earned it. She's a good resident, and she'll make a great attending. The same goes for you." She felt the necessity of saying something to reassure him he was seen by her in the professional too. Maybe that would avoid some fights in the future.

"Thank you," There was a hint of flirting on his expression of gratitude for the gesture. "but Mer, come on." The change of tone throws her off a little bit.

"What?" She countered, clueless about what was wrong. She was begging he wouldn't say something that implied they should have discussed that.

"We both know that's not why you offered a job to Wilson." Good answer. He gets closer to her with a grin on his face. "I get it, you want to keep Alex around, but that's not fair." He was using a seductive tone playing with her senses, full-on mode to try to persuade her not to manipulate her friends to do what's convenient for her. "For what I'm listening around here, she just got offered one of the most exciting fellowships in the country. It's a career-defining moment." He is not going to tell her what she wants to hear. He has never been that way, -a thing that Cristina appreciated- however, the truth stings deep in her heart.

"I didn't do a fellowship year. I'm doing just fine." She uselessly tries to defend her point.

"No one compares to you." He's dangerously close to her. He basically told that to her lips. She can feel how his hand is treating to touch her. "Have I told you how good you look in that blue dress?" He whispers to her ear, leaving a kiss on her lobe, making her shiver.

"Andrew." She scolds him in a low voice, she asked for twenty-four hours, and he is making them feel like a lifetime. He pulls back from her a little bit, just enough.

"It's an amazing opportunity, and maybe if she is not going to take it, I can give it a go." Her mouth opens instantly, and he's gone before she could say anything. Andrew DeLuca dares to leave her standing there alone, all messed up and dazzled. He's going to pay for that one later.

"Definitely, it has to be DeLuca you are secretly in love with." Amelia's voice startled her to the point she jumped from the scare. "It has to be. All those times I have seen you two together, like a second ago, I thought it was a mutual crush or a fling. I mean, I get it. He's very hot. I would hit that myself-" If she doesn't interrupt her now, she will never stop talking.

"I am not in love with anybody." Yet. "Will you just stop projecting your secret love all over me?" She tries to divert the subject, but lately, her sister seemed to be more fixated on her personal life than usual.

"I'm not projecting. You have feelings for him." Amelia was right, but she also shared with Meredith the ability and necessity of having to deflect everyone from her problems. The actual difference is that her sister required loud voices and strong gestures to understand.

"And you're clearly falling for Owen again. You're never home-" Today was interrupt your sister when she's talking day.

"That's better than being with you and Mister I'm quiet as a mouse, for your information, you guys aren't, and do you think we will never going to realize he spends almost every night there?" Meredith's lost for words. She could swear they were being careful, turns out her sisters were being -for the first and probably the only time in their lives- respectful and polite, waiting for her to tell them. If Amelia hadn't said it, she would probably keep believing they didn't know.

"Hey, I know it's hard for you to open up after everything you have been through," Her sister's voice was sweet and calm. She knew she was walking on eggshells with this subject; nevertheless, it was now or never. "but since you started seeing him, you look alive again." She places a hand in her arm to stop her from walking away. She must hear this before she ruins something good in her life. "You just got happy in a world without Cristina and Derek, and I think it's because of him."

"I know," Meredith's eyes fall to the floor in frustration. She plays with her fingers out of anxiety. Feelings have never been her best area. "and he knows it, in a weird way. He knows how hard, is for me. He is patient and never pushes me." A small smile forms on her lips, remembering the opportunities he has had to drove her to the edge and he hasn't. All the time, he has been tolerant, and those rare but existing times when he just shut up and listens not because he wants or has to. Is who he is with her. "It's going to take me a while, but I do want him to be more." She takes a big breath as a sign the door has closed; it's all the sentimentalism Amelia gets. "Besides, I already kind of told him, the thing is with him being more, there is going to be stuff I can't say to him, and Alex… he's my Alex, and he's leaving. I don't want to be alone." The puzzle is solved. Little Amelia Drew can rest now.

"Okay, but even if I am kind of falling for Owen, I will always be here for you." Meredith is glad her sister didn't make further comment on Andrew, why her love life was so relevant at her best friend's wedding?

"Oh, whatever." She loves her, she really does, but Amelia has the one thing she hated about Derek. She feels like she can resolve all of her problems. It's sweet but irritating.

Meredith thinks she has had enough drama for the day and decides for the first time in a while to relax and enjoy the party. She doesn't see him after their brief encounter. Perhaps he is with his sister. It's not like she wants him to be around her all the time, yet, the company wouldn't kill her. Their sense of humor is pretty similar, and he's good at making her laugh. He even sometimes makes her feel ridiculous. To her surprise, the one who's making a fool of themselves on this case, it's him.

"So, in the meantime, please, continue to enjoy the canapé and, um, this toast by this handsome..." Of all the possible ways she was supposed to run to him again, him being drunk and giving a speech was not on her list.

"Maybe not the best choice for a toast." Meredith says to Catherine and Maggie without moving. A cruel and bold move coming from her. However, her curiosity about what he was going to say took the best in her.

"Hello, I'm Andrew DeLuca. I'm a co-worker of Alex and Jo." He looked heavily intoxicated, also comical with the way he was holding the microphone and the beer, swinging around with slurred speech. She was wondering how did he get to that state in a matter of an hour. "Uh, well, more than a co-worker, actually, uh, blood has been spilled between us, so that makes us family, I guess." Meredith considers that her mark to get closer in case he says something more impertinating. "Hey, we're having fun, well, I was, but, seriously, you guys, uh. I'm happy for them, you know, because when two people find a moment, just, like, a moment. You guys, of real and true love that doesn't ask you to wait and wait while you're just screaming and bleeding and asking for a chance, you have to celebrate that." And that was her cue to take the microphone from him.

She chooses to ignore every single word he just said for the sake of the future of their relationship. She is more thankful he didn't mention her name. "Thank you, DeLuca." Meredith grabbed Andrew by the shoulders and gave the mic to the wedding planner. "Let's go take a walk." There were some confused looks throw at them. She decided to ignore them because the main reason has to be him.

She didn't speak to him until she was sure they were alone. They were walking, linked by the elbows through the beautiful small bridge. The scene was quite romantic by itself, but she felt the necessity of saying something to him, taking advantage that he probably wouldn't remember in the morning.

"Andrew, I know I'm not the easiest person in the world. Most of the time, I don't understand me." Meredith has to take a big breath to put some memories from her past to sleep a while longer. "But also, I know how much it sucks to lose the person you love. Which makes it difficult to open myself to opportunity because I always feel like I'm losing something or someone." She stops walking to look him straight in the eyes. Andrew is probably not registering any word, but nobody can take away from her the sensation of freedom.

"Andrew, you are young, and you have that face. You are falling in love material." He's looking at her with the sweetest eyes possible. Perhaps his mind thinks this is some hallucination. " I'm still trying to decide if I'm willing to take the risk of putting myself through such pain." She takes his hands and holds them in front of them. "However, you make me feel optimistic by painting life for me in a whole new color palette. You make me want to get my heart broken again, even if the thought of it terrifies me, that's life, and it's beautiful, and it's messy. It's a beautiful mess, and for you, I won't cling to what was. I'm deciding to look at what might be-" She had more speech left, but she didn't mind being interrupted by him kissing her so passionately, so hard and so full of feelings she wouldn't admit, yet, it was already there.

"What the hell, Mer?" Alex.

Shit, I forgot to call Cristina.

As I said, I wasn't planning on finishing this, but it ended up decent? Idk, I just hope the timeline isn't confusing.

Honestly, I didn't want it to finish it because I want to see how the season progressed and so far, I'm not mad. I mean, it could be better, but I take what I can get, ignoring how disappointing it was episode 3 for me. Anyway, I still have a whole bunch of drafts and ideas, whatever happens, this season is giving me a lot of ideas.

Feel free to follow me on tumblr and ao3, and request!

The song is Poison by Rita Ora, I thought of a million different names, I have the file like four or five times more with a different title.