A/N Before anyone starts screaming at me just know that: SHE WILL COME BACK DON'T WORRY!

Chapter 28 - Regrets

Breathing out through his mouth the water splattered, blown away by the air but much more took its stead and the stream of the shower draped over him like a second layer of skin. It was cold yet his skin was burning as if he had a fever, it was another part of the curse he'd been born with. Something that made him different, a part of the killer within him. Finally lowering his head to evade the water, he stared down at his bloodied hands. Fresh blood drenched his skin and as he stroked his jaw he felt the thick substance wash away, even then his skin remained tainted. He knew he would be living with the pain, it would become a part of him. His fist clenched as anger soured through him, he wanted to punch something but knew it would be in vain. Erica wouldn't come back to life and it was his fault, there was nothing he could do about it.

It had been an accident, the fault of adrenaline clouding his senses. But that was nothing but a stupid excuse of a coward too afraid to admit he was a killer, like a murderer trying to justify the kill by ignoring the evidence right in front of him. He had no excuse for what he'd done, he was a murderer and now he had the eyes to show it.

The door to the bathroom opened but he'd already heard him coming minutes ago, from when the front door had opened on the lowest floor. His senses were working feverishly, picking up the smallest sounds. Wet dog, like a dog who'd bathed and then gotten into a car. It was strong almost disgustingly so but it was familiar, a scent he'd grown used to through years of being around the man. Mickey had always looked up to his father, like an idol. Someone, he'd imagined he'd be like when he grew older, how young and innocent he'd been back then. But he'd gotten what he'd wanted, he'd turned into his father. A bloodthirsty killing machine, the only difference was that Mickey was still following his father's orders like the stupid beta he was.

''Get out,'' he sighed in a low tone, eyes glaring at the reflection in the tiles in front of him. His eyes flashed but the wolf remained dormant, tired from the fight. He was calm but his muscle tense, his heartbeats even but his blood boiling with rage.

His father didn't listen, Mickey hadn't expected him to. Earl had never followed anyone's orders so why would he start now? Instead, he remained stood in the doorway, watching with a calculating look in his eyes. Then he finally spoke, ''You know what makes us different from werewolves?''

The question made Mickey sigh, frustrated that his father chose to start up a conversation when all he wanted to do was be left alone. Yet here his father was and there was no way he was going to do as Mickey wanted, so he stared into his reflection trying to tell himself to stay calm, ''If you gonna give me a lesson about history do it quickly and then get the fuck out.''

''I'd forgotten the vile languish kids use these days,'' his father mused before their eyes met through the reflection, he smirked as he leaned against the doorframe knowing full well he was getting on his sons' nerves, ''Although some werewolves are born through generations of bloodlines, that girl Erica was not. She knew about the risks and yet accepted the bite, they're all gonna die for a foolish attempt at being something they were not born as.''

''What's that got to do with us?'' Mickey strained, his jaw clenched as he thought about the reason Erica had accepted the bite. She had been suffering from a severe case of epilepsy, she'd have seizure causing her to be bullied. She'd been shy and lonely and Derek had preyed on that, although it had felt wrong at first she'd redeemed herself and became someone likable. Mickey hadn't been friends with her but he knew her story, he'd watched her transform. It was true that Derek had told them about the hunters but they hadn't been the ones to kill her, it had been him. What could ever prepare someone to get killed by someone they trust?

''Werewolves are power-hungry and like vampires, they go around biting every insecure, easily manipulated child they can find out on the streets. All for one purpose, to build the strongest pack,'' his father pushed away from the wall causing Mickey to finally glance over his shoulder, their eyes meeting, ''We're different because our loyalty runs deeper then a bitemark, we're tied by blood.''

''If you could you would have done the same thing,'' Mickey said not the least impressed by his father's speech, they weren't any different then Derek, Peter, or even Deucalion. Powerhungry monsters seeking a pack, to rule the world and to be the strongest possible. Everyone in the supernatural world aspired to be on on top of the food chain, to eat rather than be eaten.

His father chuckled, didn't deny it because he knew it was true. Mickey wasn't the young kid he'd been while his father remained back home, he'd grown older and wiser. He'd learned about the world he'd been born into, Earl let his hand fall onto the doorknob as he prepared to leave, ''I probably would, like Scott McCall will in time.''

The mention of his best friend caused Mickey to frown, a pit forming in his stomach knowing they could truly never make up. Scott wouldn't be able to forgive him for what he'd done, he was just too good to forgive a killer. But neither could Mickey imagen him stood next to the list of power-hungry alphas in his mind, Scott wouldn't fall so low. His father was leaving but he called out to him, ''Scott's better then you, he's better than all of you.''

His father didn't argue as he simply closed the door, Mickey watched as the door clicked close and he realized just how cold the water had become.

...

He was nervously biting the skin on his lower lip, his leg shaking restlessly as he leaned against the car in the driveway. His eyes stared up at the window on the second floor as it would somehow alert Allison of his presence, yet the lights remained shut off and his courage to ring the doorbell had disappeared the moment he stepped into the driveway. So there he stood, alone like a creep just waiting to either turn back around or actually man up and ring the doorbell.

A car engine rumbled in the distance, approaching slowly yet with purpose. His eyes drifted from the window until he was glancing over his shoulder, watching as Chris's car came into view at the end of the street. He pushed himself away from the car just as the other parked, his eyes meeting with Allison'. She didn't look alright and even though he felt bad for it, it made his relieved to know that he could push aside his feelings and focus on her. Even though Chris was looking at him with hard eyes, he ignored it in favor of watching Allison as she got out of the car. She didn't hesitate to jog over to him and he pulled her against his chest, sucking in her scent as he buried his nose in her hair.

''Where were you? I mean where have you been?'' she asked, his voice muffled by his hoodie but he could still hear the way it cracked as she forced herself not to cry.

He hugged her closer, stroking the back of her head as he kissed her on the side. Her presence made him feel whole again but it also made him realize that he'd once again not been there when she needed him. It was becoming a foul habit and he was determined to change that, to come clean about everything and then live the rest of his life protecting her. But as he was about to tell her everything his eyes fell in the woods, his father was watching him.

The words died on the tip of his tongue and he sighed, pulled back so he could stare into her beautiful brown eyes and he smiled, ''I missed you.''

Her eyes were shifting, searching his for the answers he refused to give her. He could tell it was making her frustrated and so he cupped her cheek with his hand, she didn't pull away but her frown remained, ''I was worried about you.''

''I'm here now?'' it was almost a question asking if she would forgive him, a cheeky tone in hope that he would get away without further questions. It was obvious that she knew what he was doing but yet she smiled as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

His smile grew as he leaned down to let their lips meet, it was just a few seconds but he realized how much he'd missed her. Her warmth, her soft kiss, or the way she wrapped her arms around him like she was keeping him from going away. She made him feel loved, safe, grounded. She was his everything and he wanted her to know that, so as his words lacked he hoped to convey it through the kiss. He hoped she understood and he was glad Chris had left because no father would let such a moment between his daughter and a boy last for as long as it did.

When they finally leaned back his arms remained around her waist, keeping her from moving away. She didn't seem to mind the way she was still holding on to him but her eyes had turned much more serious and then the sadness returned once more, ''I'm moving back to France.''

''When?'' the question escaped him before he had the time to tell her not to go, asking the wrong question but somehow he knew she wouldn't change her mind. So he sighed, ''For how long?''

''I don't know,'' she said finally letting her arms fall from his neck, averting her eyes as if she felt ashamed of her choice, ''Maybe never.''

The arguments were forced down as he blinked back the tears realizing what she was implying, she was going away maybe forever. He couldn't go with her, at least not now. He felt tense but forced himself to remain calm, to stay strong in front of the girl he loved. So he smiled, forced himself to, ''Is it because of me?''

''No,'' she exclaimed before realizing it, repeating it in a more calm tone as she cleared her throat, ''It's me, it's my family. I've lost so much in just a few months, I did terrible things. I- I just need time to find myself, the new me in this new world.''

He understood, he truly did but it didn't stop him from hurting because of it. He wished he could be the support she needed to get through it all but he'd been bad at that ever since he first met her, bad at being there when she needed him the most. Maybe they both needed to grow, to find themselves. So even though it hurt him, torn him to pieces. He would let her go.

''If you ever decide to come back, I'll be here,'' he finally said still refusing to let her go, his eyes locked with hers as she finally found the courage to face him knowing he wasn't going to fight her.

She smiled, barely. Trying to be stern but failing, ''I won't make you wait for me.''

''I'm not going to,'' he smiled as he dried away a stray tear that fell from her eye, leaning down so their eyes were on the same height, ''Because I love you.''...