In galaxy very far away very long ago

DRUM SOLO was in his itchy jedi robe which he hadted as this was before epic adventure to save ter the universe but some time afte legeancagry jedi defeat evil empoer. This jedi was Luke Wkayler, and he was the one to train Drum Solo into NEOP Jedi Order on the planet of Bharaont. Smugglers call it Trakin.

In the Jedi Dojo, Drum Solo, who was without his legeanrdy speed porange glasses and had less rofcking but still not to bad rocking hair, leaned against the wall to wipe seat off his forehead.

"Haivng trouble?" Said leagnardy jedi Luke Salker, who was to train Drum.

"This JEDI buinseess should be not of my business," Drum Solop spit disrectfully, not having fun in jedi timeple, when he could be flirting with the babes at the new arcade in town.

"You need to focus harder," said Lule. "u will never be jei hero if you don't put in the effort."

"Mayb ei odn't want to be jedi loser," Say Drum Solo, taking over Jediu cloak, "maybe I only here because Princess GeneralLeia think you loser who need more student."

Old bear4e3d Luke grimaced but not like fast food grimace, "Take that back you TURD!"

And he didn't, this ANGERED Lulk, who was strongt in the forced but not sith quite yet. For that, he need to become even angeryed, which Drum was silling to comply.

"Stupid dumb mop head, nerf heareder." Drum flick lit cigarette at him. "Im outta here, me too cool to be stuck with Tatooine boy."

Drum had sucessfully pissed Luck off. Luke then use evil sith force strangle on Drum. "You WILL rerspeck me. I savet Galaxy too, you know. Darth Vader was my dad, so that make me son of chosen one."

But Dru was not listening to Lu. "I'm not listening, goodbye!" And he somehow escaped from his choke hold which is foreshadowing for later events.

At the front lobby of the jedi temple, Drum Solo lookered around to get one last looking in of where he spent his summer vacation. "I'm taking one last look," Drum Solo said, "and STUPID jedi temple." He saw the yogurt machien that no workeded. It had Yoda face on it in terrible joke Drum Solo thought was lame.

He saw the training facility with the poiles he had to jump from which game his rate leaping ability. He saw the rope he had to climb with aline child molester at boottom meant to make him climb faster. He didn't like that very much. And over there was the sacred jedi ball pit that taught him to better swim than sink.

"What a shit show," Drum Solo grumbled and he went out front lobby and went to go to arcade to score some high score and maybe score, he thought.

After getting some babes but with only moderate success, (one had went to use bathroom and no show up) he was ready to start his density. Which began by looking for trouble in no on other than the smuggler den place.

The doors were open, but in order to make dramtes entrance, he closed them, then opened them again but with more cool. "Where all the cheap weemon at?" He say into nearby speaker phone so everyone heard including guests in the hallway.

But there was a disturbance in the force, this was a complete sausage party and we arent talking about the food kind! There were no weemen in sight and so, Drum began to fire rounds into the air like a madman just to make a scene. "Fine, if there are no willing ladies, least you pansy men can do is give me a good fite!"

Adn they did.

This board Drum, who was ALREADY board because he was with Uncle Luke Dumbwalker earlier and abandon jedi weight. So he deceit that he needed to create his own destiny different way. "I know!" He spokt. "WHat I'm missing is a sweet pad for all the sexy singles to crash at. Hmm, but what party in Galaxy can I possibly crash thats so big?"

Just then on TV by guy who face he broke with his fist, came on TV was leegnardy business tycoon, Buzz Creamer, who was advenrsting is new creams which were aid ti be all the buzz.

"Don't get buzzed on this deal! Or you'll be creamed in no time!" Buzz made cool sales pitch, witch Drum tought could use more work in all honesty.

"Ooh, looks like we have our first space customer!" Buzz speckle and picked up phone. "Hello? This is local resident salesman, Buzz Creamer. How many tubs of Buzz Cream yousa picking up today?"

Drum stammur, "Umm, yeah. I was actually calling to tell you that you r sales pitch is kinda lame. Maybe we can be business partners and I can make most of the profits?"

This was idea too good to be true, so Buzz Creamer replied, "Okay man, i'm sending you coordinates to my office now! Come dressed business casual."

Drum Solo ignore this and when he go to Buzz Creamer space bad in orbit of legeanrdy business planet, Amazon 3, but before this he had actually walked out of arcade and was confronted by the stench of virginity and loserness. It was his stupid brother Ben Solo (Later to be called Kylo Ren for somereason)

"Brother," Ben Solo said in his hammy down jedi robe, "Why did you quit jedi order? Now Luke Skaylker is really pissed and he hit me when I spillered his drink."

"Sorry," Drum Solo say, "not sorry, I quit because jedi do not live there lives to teh full. I will make mown density and being getting laid, unlike YOU, dumbo ears!"

"Leave my ears out of this and stop being jerk." Ben Solo said, "I won't tell mom about this, just like I didn't tell her you flunk out of collage because you party whol time. You should seriously get job though. Maybe Space Home Depot hiring?"

"Maybe," Drum Solo think deeply and say, "maybe you could go fuck yourself," he said cooly and walk by.

"One of these days," Ben Solo muttered cruelly and eivly on his breath.

Upon hearing his bitching, Drom Solo pretent he about to hit Ben Solo and Ben Solo flinch like a pussy and Drum Solo laugh and leave. He didn not know that Ben Solo tinkered, 'boy one day I will get him. Too bad I am not strong enough but hmmm maybe I can power up other ways?'

At Amaozon 3 business hip , Drum, he go to bug boobmed lady at counter and say, "What is up? Babe. Am to here to meet the creamer," said the drummer, Drum Solo thought.

"Please take a seat," aid the lady.

Drum Solo did but when he do so, he greeted by Buzz Creamer but in color, green. And this Green Buzz Creamer ask for pitch, "So what is pitch?"

And Drum Solo, with bright eye, said, "You are going to love thios:"

"Buy this epic product, or you will forever be the gay alone!" Drum shaked hands like jazz hands but not at all.

Buzz Creamer thinked, "Hmm, not bad. Has potential, wait a minute. Aren't you second son of Legendady Smuggler and Rebel General Han Solo?"

This was true, but it was not something that Drem was eager to discuss. "Umm yeah, but im not lame veteran war hero like my old man. Im just like to get the job done and have some fun along the way."

"I dig it," said Buzz Creamer, "then sit here." He did. Drum Solo sit for HOUR before going, "WHY I SIT HERE FOR HOUR!?"

He kick down officer doro and find office empty? The fuck? He investaro. He find note saying: Han Solo son, I not Buzz Creamer, Thanks for million redit idea!1 Get Pwned."

"How dare he," Drum Solo crush note, "How dare he say I Han Solo son! I am not his son! He is my dad!" This was personal for him and when he got to parking lot he see man chewing at lazer tooth pick.

"Hey, kid," said mystery cool guy, "I hear you got swindled."

"Whoa whow to kwnow?" Drum solo ask.

"You just scream it," said Mystery man, who just happened, "Name's Dennis Cooch," look like Woodely Harleson in white spakce jacket. "How about this? I'm here to do smuggler heist against Buzz Creamer and stil the leangry speed glasses, you help me get the billion recit glasses and you can have my help hunting down man who steal your idea." He pasued for dramatic effect, "CHAZZ Creamer, evil brother of Buzz Creamer who do this kind of thing."

And so Drim Solo saw his density, "All right, old man," Drum Solo say, looking at business partner of Cooch, who look like Danearyous Tarageuion for Game of Thrones expect with red hair and bigger boobs, "biut first introduce me to tonight's enteratiaent."

There was a lot of exposition here and we dint feel like righting it. "Wow, it all makes scents to me now!" Exclaimed Drim after Cooch finished giving his chalkboard presentation.

"Yeah, probably would have been easier if I just showed the ropes instead, but I left them at home." Cooch sayed. "Anway, let us get going while Sun is still in orbit!"

So Cooch took out his super cool intergalactic space moped, which is similar to moter bike but not as epic or cool. It kind of like Moter bike for young kid or dad, but Drum thought it might be good idea to steal if things went south or north.

After several boring minutes of small talk on way to Chazz Creamer secrate hideout in galaxy near near them and not so far away, they arrived only to see evil hencment outside with laser mini guns and cool daggers like in Elder Scrolls Oblivoon.

"Lert me handle this, grampa." Drum said and took out cool cigar then he kepet in jacket pockit.

They hostile on site and shoot at Drum Solo but Drm Sol shoot back awit his dtursty lasery postpol with plasma rounds which he didn' twant use because they more epxnesite then argaurl laser pispotl bullet sbu the use dthem and they epxleod siuper fater and he get into tther eand fight het meimi stboss stitrahga tawy.

"Fine fine, have it yor weigh!" Chazz Creamer sighed on projector screen. "You will regret coming here, Drum!"

But he didn't and probably wouldnt' since he was too cool to lose to a recolored character reject. "Birng it on, slimeball1!". Then the small key for the mini boss room fell out of television screen that said, "to be useed with mini boss room one".

So they put the key in and the door ate it which wa really stupid because they were planning on resuing it for later but no was okay too. Cooch say, "Yeesh! I'm nt liking the look of this place, kiddo. Remind me to betray you later if it had to come to that."

Fortunately, Drum did not here this since he was busy marking out with hot chicks that were chilling inside the mini boss room.

Then, mini boos fell from ceiling like in comedic gag. The man stumped around a bit and it was Greedo's son, Lusto!

"Me no gusto sir Lusto!" Drum said but wr arent sure how he knew his name...yet!

Lusto spoked with secret sith language that very few jedi evan know. Maybe Luk did, but he wasnt here right now so it dint matter. The lesson on Sith linguistics was next week and Drum already quitted.

"Can't uderstands ya, sleezescum. But maybe you can understand the sound my laiser pistol make!" Drim that threw his gun at Lusto's head instead of firing it normally. "Oops, umm, can I get that back actually? Kinda need that itemt to fight the final boos later."

But Lusto stoler it and was readying to fire beam at him. Forutantely, Cooch new this mgiht happen and so handed Rum a hand me down training lightsaber which midldy infuriated him because it reminded him of stupid jedi training. "Im hate ity, but it'll do for now."

So he make epic slash like he sawed in Kill Bill 3: Live Another Day or Dye, and it cut down Greedo son in seconds, which was good because our heroes would probably need to eat soon.

Because they did and in next room was food court with many exotic foods such as Gunguan Soup and R2D2 lagana, and Tattoonie Tatties and mor eimportantly there was some tattoonie titties for him to sample which he did while having sex while old Cooch ate lunch alone and flet like jaded loser uncle and bitrhtdayparty, something Luke Skalyeralekr could probably relate to Drum Solo tinkered.

So they went to next room which was mini booss humber tgwo and it was a monster! "Have fun fighting my pet said Chazz Creamer"

And it was the alien beast thing that Obi Wan had to fight in Episode 2 except instead of head it had had giant dick end for head so Drum Solo dodge it agttack with legs using his own legs and he grab the dick head head and spin it over on backa nd shover it up bung hole. This alien was gross and eyveryone cringe and Drum Solo said, "Time to go fuck yourself!" And he shoved it head in deeper and beepign sound gould be heard.

Drum Solo walk waay an not look back and light cigarette as it explode for some reaso. "Good luck against the third and final mini boss, faggot looser," taunted Chzz Creamer from radio.

And then i was time for last mini boss. Who cold it be? It was none over then Unlce luke in the flesh, or spirit. It kinda lookt like a force ghost except alive. "Wait, what the heck are you doing here? I already told you, im not interested in being sad patehtich jedi night!" Said Drum.

"But it is Day and not night." Luke mockered.

"SHUT UP! I Dimt Care. You know ho I am? I am the GRETIST in the world, or will be someday."

"No, Leia call me and say I should stop you because you violated curfew." Luke sexplained.

Drum was sad. "Damn, forgot to check back in with General Lieuh. Remind me to have sex with her later." He was saying to no one.

Luke say, "Im bringing you back, in one piece or not. I don't really care, I just need to stop you from hurting more inovenet people."

Drum sayied, "BORING! This is why I made leaf in first place! You never get to the point. Try this on for seized."

Drum shot blasts of eermergy at Luke, who thought would be easy to stop with the force, but the beams keep going. "Why isnt it working?" He wondred.

So Drum was happy to explain. "Easy, I sprayed my bullets in 'force b gone' reppelamt. Alos, this gun has a 'no force mode', morun."

"Noooo! I will be back someday, in future story!" Luke rasided robot hand in air like weirdo with mad. "Just wait til you fight Buzz Creamer look alike, Drum!"

So Luke Skywalekr walk to his space ship on patio, it was really dumb looking and kind of lame looking because Luke was lame like that. Doro open and Ben Solo there to open door. Luke step on ship and say, "Ah, Ben Solo. At least the GOOD Brother is here to help me out."

And Ben Solo make evil face at Drum Solo and they fly off.

This would probably imported, but not for now.

So Boss Key fall from skied that say , "for Drum Sole and co.". "Yest! I earned this." Drum thought allowed and he had pat on back from Cooch who was ready to betrayer him any second now.

IN THE BOSS ROOM which was really epic with tall height and pillars and red banners and lavaa nad excellent view of exploding store that exploded on repeat, sata at bign office desk was the Chzz Creanmer.

"Time ot get creamed, N00b," said Drum Solo who ran and dodged their laser pistol attacks and jumped on desk of Chazz Creamer.

Drum grab the throat of alien boss and they gag and say, "What are you doing? I'm Buzz Creamer!"

"What?" Drum Solo say in atsonhsipment at big reveal.

"I am Buzz Creamer," said left head.

"And I am Chazz Creamer," said right head, which was kind of greener than Buzz's green half.

"That not true," Drum Solo say in shock, "that's impossible!"

"Well what do you think the two heads for? POOPING?" joke Buzz. Drum thought joke was lame and bunch him in face.

So Chazz say, "Sorry about the stealing your idea thing. I am a big thief in this side of galaxy."

"He always stealing my business and money," said Buzz Creamer, "it's kind of our gimmick."

"Well. It is retrarded," asid Drum Solo.

"Hey, at least we have good brotherly relationship so I not sith lord or anything," Chazz Cremaer said with wink.

"Let me make it up to you, Durm," said Buzz Creamer, "you can have these speed glasses we just develop.d Most advanced in galaxy but we can't use them on account of having one eye on each head."

"Well, I guess that make it fair," said Drum Solo but as he reach for glasses cooch take them first and said

"Sorry, kid, I did say I was here for these," and Cooch take the glasses and finally betray Drum By tazing him with taser sand in the eyes. If only he had the glasses on! Cooch laugh big time and run off but that story for epistael later.

"What a bust!" Drum Solo shout in fursattion, and Buzz and Chazz only shrug because they weren't reinbusrtng him.

"Where is that chick at?" Drum Solo ask, "atleast I know one way to take out frustration."

And the girl from before say, "Ah Drum Solo. But there is one more betrayilng left. For I am Lesbon of the planet Dykeia."

But Drum had hab enuff of betrayor for one afternoon. "Im getting sick of this." And he roasted her, with his SUPER mega gun.

Which cause her to transofpmr in her Meaga Insepct Lesbon bug form, which look kind of like secretary frim earlier scene so I guess that was her in digusiess.

"Whoa, talk about clevur reveel!" Drum was excited to have cool epice battel after all the disappointing fights up until now. He normally not killer weemon, unless their ugly or gay or both, so this was okay he figured.

"Sorry lady, if I can't be inside you, no man can!" And Drum took out HUGE anti-homo seeker missile that he borrowed from his dad's gun closte.

"Wait no! We can talk about this!" She cried. "I can pretend to be straight!"

"How bout, curvey?" He say with coolness and blowered her up to Kingdom Kong in space! "Now that, not so easily photoshopped."

Buzz Creamer politely asked him to leave but Drum took a bunch of officer supplies to sell on way out. He was so frustrated by lame-o day, he call up old collage buddy, Poe Damon, to have drug fuleed party with on drug palent of Drugonia.

There they did many drugs and do speed race iallegally on face of giant. Or something. But Drum Solo do maybe too many drugs, though he DOUBT that possible, because during escapade, he have sex with General Princess Leia good time. "Gues yo can see, I'm quite a MOTHER FUCKER!" Which was grosst but it was Stare Wars, so incest was part of the story and Leie no stranger to it.

Luckily, Poe Dameorn, knew he wasn't remembering this shit, and did yet more drugs. They do som many cool space drugs, they get dumb idea to call and make fun of Luke Skalyler for having sex with his sister. But when they call him on Zoom Zoom, he on screen wearing dress and lady make-up and screamt, "OH NO!"

But Drum and Poe look at each other and think it the drugs and hang up. Phew, for Luke!

"Wow, what epic drama story about me!" Drum said with sex. We aren't sure. "Can't wait to rool the galaxy! Hope my dumb dad is proud, wherver he be. Not my business, that Jedi busines."

And so, he and ladies around the globe all throw party in his honor for killing notiris Dykei monster. Now she can hurt no weemon or men for that matter.

As for Dre, he knew that there were many more adventshurrs to tell of him. But that was for another day.

The Endor