Hello, everyone. I understand that you might be wondering where I've been for the last two years and why my activity dropped so suddenly between 2016 (apart from a one-off update to one story in 2017) and now. This has been very difficult to write, it's personal without giving away information that isn't too personal, and it has taken a lot of thought, time, and effort, so please bear with me. I apologise that this isn't a new chapter for any of my current stories but I am explaining why I suddenly dropped off in 2016 and haven't been active and publishing new content since then (apart from the one-off update in 2017).

Unfortunately I am still dealing with the repercussions of my father's sudden and tragic death in September 2018, which coincided two years after I'd gone through a very traumatic event in 2016. The traumatic event in question did have an effect on my ability and motivation to create videos on my Youtube channel but I still felt motivated enough to engage in my YouTube channel if not on my FanFiction channel. My father's death, so close to this difficult anniversary, knocked me back for six - completely destroying my motivation to create videos and any semblance of motivation that I'd had for writing the stories which were linked to my YouTube channel. Apart from the one-off update I added to "The Plantagenet's Rose" in 2017, which did not feel like an enthusiastic update and was done when my enthusiasm should have been higher and not forced, I have not had the mental energy or enthusiasm as I once did to create content.

In the immediate aftermath of my father's death I have had to be a carer for a terminally ill family member, and recently have had to deal with the knowledge that they do not have much time left, and as well as getting back to work in the aftermath of my father's death I have had to help look after said family member and look after myself and my mental wellbeing. On top of all this, the coronavirus pandemic has had an affect on my time and wellbeing. The past two years have been very challenging for myself and my immediate family and this had had a repurcussive effect on my motivation to write and create videos. It's taken enough mental energy as it has to think of the write words to say and type this all down for you guys. I feel really bad knowing that's been three years since I've updated my stories - I hate it when I'm reading a good story and unfortunately the author never got around to finishing it, so I feel like the ultimate hypocrite here! Unfortunately every time I try to write I just feel tired and my brain cannot think of the right words although I can conjure up great ideas while I'm trying to sleep! I've written down small sections of dialogue and scenes that I could put in a chapter but they just never join up to make one chapter. Maybe I should get a beta to help co-author the stories. How does one go about getting one, I wonder? Being severely dyslexic, a recent discovery, I might add, hasn't helped either...

I want you guys to know that I recently started writing a potential new chapter for "The Plantagenet's Rose" in September, but it's been really difficult trying to get the physical and mental energy to write for you - all my thoughts turn to mush even though what I can conjure up imaginatively is really vivid. I have a whole family tree and back stories and future stories mapped out for the "Back To School!" Universe, I have done since 2017, but my personal life has had to take centre stage, especially when my father suddenly died so close to the 2nd anniversary of the traumatic event I went through in 2016.

I have been thinking about writing an author's update for both of my channels for a long time and this is it. I've just uploaded a video that I actually finished days before my father fell ill and died in 2018, so watching that video gives me bittersweet feelings, but I wanted to share it with you even if my father never got to see it himself.

I am glad to see that I still get comments and new followers to my stories despite my level of inactivity since 2017 and I'm very grateful for that; I hope my channels provide some entertainment for you, especially in these difficult times.

I hope get back to working on my channels and creating more content for you all, but please understand that this requires myself to have enthusiasm and motivation, time to spare, and overall a positive wellbeing to create the best content I can for you, and if I do not have these things, especially a positive wellbeing, then I cannot and will not create good stories for you all - I won't make half-hearted chapters for you all when I'm not inspired to; that would be shoddy of me as a writer. My sibling still actively writes and publishes on FanFiction but they were able to take solace in writing in the aftermath of 2018, nor did they suffer from the traumatic event I suffered from in 2016. We all respond to trauma and bereavement differently - my sibling, who is also severely dyslexic, was able to take solace in writing, I did not. I struggled to generate enough enthusiasm to write, not could I get my mind to concentrate and focus on trying to write and enjoying it, so I did not and could not write or create videos.

You might be thinking, "If Richard was able to write all of this large and detailed update down and publish it, then why hasn't he used that time and energy to write and publish another chapter instead?". It's because my time has been taken up with what has happened and I've had to put my emotional and mental wellbeing first, and write only when I've felt able enough to write - even if that's taken me three years to do so. I also wanted to let you all know that I have not given up on either of my channels, I have not abandoned them with no intention of continuing with them, and I know that you all deserve an explanation for why there has been so little activity since 2016, apart from the one-off update I published to "The Plantagenet's Rose" in 2017. This has taken a long time for me to feel enthusiastic and driven enough to write down this author's update and a lot of thought has gone into writing my thoughts down in an adequate way.

Please have patience with me and bear with me - I want to finish my stories but please understand that I will not regularly be updating my works - I will do so when I have the time, enthusiasm/motivation, and a positive wellbeing - only then will my stories be adequate in my mind for you all to enjoy them. I am probably being too harsh with myself for not regularly updating since that one update I made in 2017 and for not giving you guys an author's update explaining my lack of activity since 2016, considering everything that has happened to me in the past two years and is continuing to happen to my family in regards to my terminally ill relative, and especially during this pandemic. However, I hope that you can understand why I have been so inactive in light of all of these factors and the amount of responsibility it has placed upon me in regards to looking after myself and my immediate family. I hope you all still enjoy what I have written so far. At least my enjoyment of reading others' fan fiction has not been destroyed, although that also was affected by what happened specifically in 2018.

One of my favourite stories to read on was published in 2008 and as of 2016 has not been updated, so I try to remind myself that if the author in question still hasn't finished their story after what is now 12 years of writing, then I have bad about being inactive in the last three years. What I'm trying to say is that because of the traumas I've been through my passion for video production and writing has been drained, and it's taking me a long time to get those passion levels back to my pre-2016 and pre-2018 days. I say 2016 as well because before I went through the traumatic event of that year, I was a frequent publisher on both of my channels - before 2016 I updated almost several times a week. If 2016 hadn't happened then I wouldn't have slowed down my activity on both my channels, and it would have been the events of 2018 which would have solely affected my ability to create content on my two channels.

All in all, I love the stories that I have written since 2012, regardless of all that has happened, and I hope that you all do too. I hope that you all preserve through these dark times, especially as we all head towards what will be a difficult Christmas and New Year for us all, and that we can all come out together stronger than we were before. We will recover from the pandemic and I hope to recover enough from my personal tragedies to finish what I have started in regards to my stories on this channel in a way that ensures that I am as enthusiastic and passionate about my writing, and my video production on YouTube, as I was pre-2016 and pre-2018, and create finished stories that are satisfying and enjoyable to read. Once I have finished my stories I will rewrite the early parts of my two main stories - BTS! and TPR - as I wasn't as experienced in writing in 2012 as I was in 2016 and as much as I have been now. I stress that these edits would focus on the early parts of my stories and also any other parts that seem awkward or could be improved on - I really wouldn't want to rewrite all of them as there is a charm and nostalgia when I look back at the way I used to write when I was first starting out on .

I stress that I am not quitting the channel, and I hope to finish my stories, but it will take time and I will need a lot of that.

Thank you for being so understanding and I apologise for my lack of activity for the past three years and my lack of an update explaining why I haven't been active on either of my channels.

Kind Regards, Warm Wishes, and Love To You All,

Richard.