Zuko lies awake in his bed, the fight for sleep forfeited hours ago. He cant stop thinking about that awful play; the ending where he died and people literally cheered really shook him up. But the scene with him and Katara under Ba Sing Se is what plays back on a loop whenever he tries to close his eyes. Somehow the Ember Island Players had reached into his mind and pulled out one of his most secret fantasies; the ghost of Katara's hand on his scar never fails to make him blush when he relives it in his head over and over. He had been so stupid then, to walk away from her like that. But nothing can be done about it now, and Zuko decides that maybe a quick snack will help clear his head.
He makes his way down the dark hallway towards the kitchen, treading quietly as to not wake anyone. But to his surprise, there's a small light coming from the kitchen. He enters the already lit room to see Katara slightly slumped over the table with a glass half full of amber liquid in front of her. Next to the glass is a mostly full bottle of fire whiskey.
"Mind if I join you?" Zuko doesn't bother to ask Katara where she found the bottle; he knows his parents had kept a stash somewhere, and it had definitely crossed his mind to go looking for it while he was here. But now more than ever he feels that a drink might help him relax.
"Be my guest." Katara slides the bottle over to him, sounding like she was only on her second glass of the strong alcohol. "I'm not much of a drinker, I don't want you to get the wrong idea. I just couldn't get that damned play out of my head."
"Don't worry," he grabs a glass and sits down on her left, subconsciously positioning himself so that his scar isn't in her view. "I'm here for the same reason. I told you the Ember Island Players were bad."
"Yeah, you did." She chuckles at that and takes a sip of the whiskey. Her face scrunches up as she swallows, and Zuko internally admits to himself that it's absolutely adorable. Then he remembers why he can't have thoughts like that, and takes a large swig of the strong fire whiskey.
They sit in a comfortable silence for a while, each of them sipping at their drink. Zuko refills his glass twice in the time it takes for them to start up a conversation. He's definitely feeling the warmth of the alcohol in his veins, making his limbs feel a little funny and his head a little fuzzy. Katara is just finishing her second glass when she speaks.
"You're drinking a little fast there, don't you think?" Zuko sighs, and puts down his now empty glass.
"Yeah. It just sucks being back in this house." He hasn't talked about it with anyone, but Ember Island carries so many bitter-sweet memories for him, and it's been hard to reconcile who he was then and who he is now. "Things have changed so much. I was so happy when I was here when I was younger. And then I was so angry for so long. And now I'm…" He sighs and runs his hand through his hair. "I don't even know what I am. I'm not unhappy, but I don't think I'm happy either." Katara rests her hand on his arm, and when he looks over at her he sees concern in her eyes.
"I'm sorry Zuko."
"I just don't feel like I belong anywhere," he continues on, the alcohol loosening his inhibitions enough to let him talk about how he feels. "I thought I belonged with my family when I was young, but then my father banished me without a second thought, and probably hoped I'd never come back. And I knew that I never belonged out there searching for the Avatar, even if I was in denial. Now I'm here…" He shakes his head and a sad smile spreads across his face. "I know you've all accepted me, and I know this is my destiny, but I still don't feel like I really belong here with you all. You've been fighting for what's right all along, and I haven't been. I don't think I'll ever feel like I belong anywhere." He can feel himself getting choked up; he hasn't let out these thoughts to anyone, and he feels like the floodgates have been opened. "And in that stupid play when everyone cheered when we died— when I died— it just makes it feel so much more real."
Before he can think about it, Katara's arms are around him, and a few stubborn tears are falling from his good eye. They sit there, just holding each other, for what feels like an eternity. If Zuko has ever felt like he belonged anywhere, it's here, in Katara's arms. But he can't tell her that, at least not now. There's too much going on in the world to burden her with his romantic feelings. Plus, it's obvious to him that Aang has feelings for her, and Zuko doesn't want to intrude if anything is going on between them.
"Zuko..." Katara slowly pulls away, using her thumb to wipe away the tracks of his tears. She leaves her hand on his face, and his cheek feels hot and tingly under her touch. "No matter the mistakes you've made, you do belong here. It may have taken some time for you to get here, but you're on the right side now, and that's what matters. You had to turn against everything you've been taught, everything you've ever known to come with us. You're family, Zuko, no matter if you feel like it or not."
He thinks the alcohol must be making her more affectionate, and when she leans forward and kisses his scarred cheek, he feels like he might start to cry again. He brings his hand up to press against hers and tilts his head into her touch. He is slowly coming to realize that the only person that has touched him out of love and not hate since he left home is his uncle, and feeling Katara's hand on his face is something he never wants to let go of. She moves closer and hugs him again, practically sitting in his lap, and he wraps her up in his arms. He may not feel like he belongs anywhere yet, but he thinks that he will always feel at home in her arms.