Chapter Eighteen
If you had asked me four years ago where I would find myself five years into the future, I probably would have told you I'd be in college and Anthony and I would still be together. When I was sixteen I never expected to have a child so young, and I never expected to all of a sudden have my life thrown into some kind of episode of Supernatural. I strongly believe everything happens for a reaoson, but what kind of reason would grant me every hand I have been dealt? I wouldn't trade my little girl for anything in the world, but I do wish things would have been better. If I knew the things back then that I knew now, I never would have said yes to Anthony. I never would have gone with him to prom and lose my virginty in the middle of a field.
After having Penny, taking on the role of mom wasn't easy. Never knowing my birth parents and then being shipped off to live with my birth grandparents just made it even more difficult. I felt alone, even when Anthony graduated and moved to be closer to me, I still felt alone. After I moved I lost touch with my friends from high school, no one even knew I had a baby. That was one of the agreements Anthony and I had for me to keep her. That I wouldn't tell anyone outside of my immediate family. I was isolated.
When my due date was closing in, I was beginning to think that maybe I couldn't do this. Maybe I should give her up for adoption and give her the life she really deserved. But, as soon as I held her in my arms I knew that from that day forward I would put her first above anyone and everything. Because that's what she deserved. She deserved someone to love her unconditionally and without a doubt. She was my baby, my daughter, and I wasn't giving her up. I had to do what was best for her, which is why I found myself in La Push pulling into Paul's driveway. Penny was with Bella for the day so I could do this. I put my car in park and got out of the car before I could change my mind.
As I was walking to the front door my hands began to shake and my heart rate was rising. I raised a shaky hand to knock on the door but before I could it was yanked open and I was face to face with Paul. He stared at me with wide eyes and slack jaw. I lowered my fist and took a deep breath before speaking.
"We need to talk. Are you busy?" At my question he seemed to have shooken himself from his thoughts before nodding his hand and standing back so I could come in.
"My parents are out and my sister is at a friends house, so it's just us." He stared at his feet as he shoved his hands in his pockets. "We can talk in the living room if you want?" I nodded my head and followed him into the living room. It was nicely decorated with pictures of him and with his family. The walls were panneled with wood and the couches were black leather. It felt very homey. "What did you want to talk about?" He asked as he sat down in the arm chair and I took a seat on the couch.
"I have some things I need to tell you, about Anthony. But before I tell you anything, you need to promise that you won't lose control and get angry. Okay?" He took a deep breath and blew it out before nodding his head in agreement. "Okay, it all started when I told him I was pregnant..."
~~~TOS~~~
When I was done telling him everything up to the night of the accident I had tears running down my face. I've never been a cryer, but I guess maybe what happened with Anthony had a deeper meaning and was more damaging than I let on. I looked over at Paul and saw he had his eyes closed and he was shaking. He was taking deep breaths to try to settle down, but I could tell he was having trouble with it. I quickly got up from m spot on the farther end of the couch and crouched down in front of him. I gently put my hands on either side of his face and stroked his cheeks with my thumbs. He was still shaking but it wasn't a violent has it was just a second ago.
"Hey, calm down. It's okay, I'm okay. Penny's okay. You're okay. Everthing is okay." He opened his eyes and what I saw would have made me cower just a week ago, but right now as I was looking into his yellow irises I felt safer than ever. I gave him a gentle smile before he pulled me into his lap so I was stradling him as his face settled into the crook of my neck. His arms were wrapped tightly around my waist and I could feel him taking deep breaths. I had one hand in his hair while the other was rubbing calming circles in the middle of his back.
"I'm sorry if I'm making you uncomfortable. But this is the only way I can calm down after what you told me. I'm sorry for how I acted a week ago, but you have to understand I only acted out like that to protect you. I don't even want to know what would have happened if I didn't stop him." I sighed and gently laid my cheek on ther top of his head.
"I forgive you. I'm sorry, too. I missed you so much." My voice broke at the end of my sentance and I clasped one hand over my mouth to stop the sobs from racking my body. "I'm sorry, I don't even know why I'm crying." I tried to laugh it off but a sob came out instead. Paul pulled away and took my face in his hands before giving me a stern look.
"Hey, stop that. You don't need to cry anymore. Besides, you're an ugly crier." He grinned cheekily at me and made me laugh as I smacked his shoulder.
"Jerk!" His laughed vibrated throughout my body and made me laugh in return. "So, we're okay?" I asked.
"Yeah, we're okay." He smiled at me softly before pulling my lips down to meet his.
~~~TOS~~~
That weekend was the weekend of the fighting that would take place against Victoria, and to say I was nervous would be an understatement. I was stressed to the max. Penny was with Charlie for the weekend in Seattle, far from Forks to be safe. I would be staying with Bella and Jacob on top of a mountain far from the fight and hopefully as safe as possible. Seth would also be staying out of the fight because he was too young and Jake was staying out because Bella asked him to. I wasn't going to ask Paul, mostly because I know he would have said no anyway and he's one of the best wolves they've got.
We were currently setting up our campsite, well Jake was, I was pacing back and forth and working a hole in the ground.
"Hazel, calm down. Everything is going to be okay." Bella laid a calming hand on my shoulder and I visibily started to calm down. "Tonight they're having one last training day and then tomorrow the real thing begins. Is your anxiety okay?" I loved my sister, I really did. She was always so caring and so nice to me. I raised both my hands to my face and nodded my head yes as I took several deep breaths. There was no way I would be sleeping tonight.
"Alright, ladies. The tent is set! Now how about a fire for some food?" Jake said clapping his hands together. His tongue was poking out of the corner of his mouth causing Bella and I to giggle. "What's funny?"
"Nothing, Jake. You're just adorable, that's all." Bella said, leaning up to kiss his cheek. I turned away and looked over at the landscape. Washington really was a beautiful state, sure Georgia was gorgeous, too. But Washington would always be my home.
"You okay, Haze?" I turned around and saw the concernon Jake's face.
"Yeah, I'm okay. Just thinking. You guys go ahead and get started on the fire." I smiled softly at the both of them before turning to look at the view again.
After Paul and I had made up, we spent the majority of the day and most of the night talking about anything and everything. He told me about his ex and his family and his grandfather. He shared so many personal and intimiate things about himself and his life that I never even thought would have happened to him. He told me about what he felt when he first phased and how heartbroken he was that he was unable to stay with his girlfriend. He also told me how happy he was that everything happened the way it did because it led him to me. I told him stories about myself, about growing up with Charlie in Forks. I told him about my grandparents and how I didn't know who my real birth father was. I told him more about my fear of wolves and about Anthony and I told him how I was also deathly afraid of the dark, at which he continued to tease me for an hour after.
It felt so nice just to talk to someone about everything and anything for hours. I missed being able to do that with someone, I missed the getting to know each other stage of relationships. I had a feeling that even as I continued to get to know Paul better, I would still be surprised at the little things I would come to know about him. I really cared deeply for Paul, as much as that scares me it also makes me happy to care so deeply for someone like that again. Penny also loved the shit out of him, so that was a plus and he didn't seem to mind that I had a four year old. Otherwise that would be a total dealbreaker.
I was brought out of my thoughts when Bella told me the food was ready. I ate very little that night, trying to calm the nerves in my stomach. When we all settled for bed, Jake stayed outside to keep watch while Bella and I huddled for warmth in our shared sleeping bag.
"Bells?" I whispered softly.
"Yeah?" She whispered back.
"I'm scared." I choked down the sob that threatened to break threw my throat. Bella gave me a soft smile before scooting closer to me.
"I am, too. But, it'll be okay. Paul will be okay, we'll be okay. No matter what, you and I are in this together. Don't forget that." I sighed and smiled back at her. I nodded my head in agreement before closing my eyes and drifting to sleep easier than I thought I would have.
~~~TOS~~~
The next morning I woke up with a start and my mind instantly went to the bad place when I noticed Bella wasn't next to me. I bolted out of the sleeping and out of the tent to see Bella standing next to a phased Jacob. He jerked his head at me and Bella turned to me, offering me her hand. I quickly made my way over to her and clasped our hands together, entertwining our fingers. She informed me that Jake was phased just in case if he was called into battle in an emergency.
A few minutes later a smaller grey wolf showled up and growled at Jake. Jake looked over at us before bolting in the direction the grey wolf had come from. I assumed the wolf was Seth, and my suspicions were confirmed when Bella said hello to him.
It felt like an eternity went by and then the worst thing to ever happen, happened.
Victoria showed up with her little boy toy and started circling the three of us like we were prey. I felt my eyes widen in fear and I clung closer to Bella.
"I'm not afraid of you, Victoria. Don't you understand that I'm not Edward's mate anymore? I have no ties to him. Your revenge would be for nothing." I wanted so badly to tell Bella to shut the fuck up, but I knew she wouldn't listen to me anyway. The red head stopped circling for a split second before she laughed hauntingly.
"I don't care about the revenge anymore. Now I'm here for the thrill of the hunt. And look at that, I get two for the price of one. How exciting." I felt tears begin to prick at my eyes. I couldn't move, I felt frozen to the spot. Bella shifted so she was in front of me, protecting me from the vampire in front of us. "Oh? What's this? Isabella, you've grown a backbone I see. Maybe I'll just change you instead, you could be useful." Victoria crouched like she was about to pounce. When she jumped Bella me far behind her and I landed on my back, my head making a loud smack sound when I hit a rock.
I shifted so I was sitting up and tenderly reach a hand behind my head. When I pulled my hand away, my fingers were coated in blood. Bella was on the ground with Victoria on top of her, but as she caught wind of my blood she changed course. She got off of Bella and started to walk toward me. My eyes widened in realization. Bella's fearful eyes reached mine and before I could call out to her to stop, she grabbed a nearby rock and sliced open her hand. Victoria whipped her head back around to look at Bella and just as she was about to pounce on her again two wolves came barraling out of the woods and lunged at Victoria before dragging her down the ridge.
I tried to stand, but I must have moved too fast because my vision began to get fuzzy and then all I saw was darkness.
~~~TOS~~~