Standby: Chapter 6

...

I wish your mom and I could be friends
I think about her now and then
How we drove up to her house
I'll never see that dog again

~ Orla Gartland, Heavy.

...

Six Years Earlier.

Christmas at Downton was beautiful, totally utterly and completely beautiful. A huge pine tree stood at the edge of the Great Hall, adorned with crystal decorations that had likely been in The Crawley family for generations.

Having decided against going up to London with Mary and Matthew, Sybil sat by the fire in the drawing room surrounded her parents, her Aunt Rosamund and her two grandmothers. She drew her legs up underneath her, almost feeling like a little girl all over again.

Cora and Robert Crawley were whispering quietly to one another, every bit as in love as Sybil remembered from her childhood. Her Aunt and Grandmother sat next one another opposite them, clearly in the midst of some argument or other.

Smiling at the comforting familiarity of the scene before her, Sybil turned to her American Grandma.

"You know what's strange?", Martha Levinson asked conversationally. She eyed her granddaughter over her the rim of her whiskey glass with an affectionate smirk. "You and I live on the same side of the pond now and I see less of you than I ever have before."

Sybil's smile faltered apologetically. "Oh I'm sorry, Grandmama", she replied softly, gaze returning to her parents. She knew that they would berate her for pushing herself too hard if they were privy to the next words that were already more than half way out of her mouth."Medical school has proved rather demanding and..."

Martha waved a hand, completely dismissing her granddaughter's apology.

Of everyone in Sybil's immediate family, it had always been her American Grandmother who was most supportive of her somewhat unconventional dreams. "But you're enjoying it?"

Beaming, Sybil nodded. "I am, I really really am."

The smile on Martha's face only widened in return. She patted her granddaughter comfortingly on the hand.

"Then don't worry about it, Sybil. Your family will all come around soon", she reassured gently before tossing a mischievous smirk in the direction of Sybil's other grandmother; The Dowager Countess of Grantham. "...and besides, it'll be a comfort to your other grandmother to have a doctor in the family. Violet Crawley is many things, but getting any younger definitely isn't one of them."

Sybil found herself fighting a smile. "Don't let her hear you say that."

Martha's eyes glinted wickedly. "You aren't going to tell on me."

"I suppose not."

The two women fell silent for a moment, the older surveying the younger with an expression that slowly morphed into something that was as close as Martha Levinson could muster to one of concern.

"Why are you still here, Sybil?"

Raising an eyebrow questionly, Sybil set her own glass down on the coffee table in front of her.

"What do you mean?"

Gesturing vaguely to their surroundings, Martha chuckled; not unkindly. "Why are you still at Downton on New Years Eve, my darling. Mary and Matthew are gone back up to their friends in London and Edith is chasing tail at Hexham. What about you, Sybil? I'd always pegged you as the wild one...my protégé."

Her grandmother's final comment was punctuated with a wink and Sybil found herself supressing an eyeroll.

"What's wrong with spending time with family at Christmas time?", she asked, her tone just a touch defensive. "As you already said, I hardly see any of you often enough."

Dismissing her granddaughter's rebuttal entirely, Martha ploughed on. "I thought you'd be visiting Dublin at some point? Hadn't you a guy over there? Very handsome, great shoulders, kept putting his foot in it with your father."

Sybil bit her lip, eyeing her grandmother tentatively. She drew herself up with all the airs of the aristocrat she was, hitching on a tight lipped smile that even Mary would be proud of. "Tom and I broke up, Grandmama."

Martha's teasing grin wavered slightly. "That's a shame. I liked him."

Sybil glanced up at grandmother, somewhat surprised."You might have been the only one then."

"I remember you quite liked him too."

"I did", Sybil said, fumbling slightly. It still hurt quite a bit to think about Tom, more than she would ever let on. Grappling with the slight ache that had settled in the pit of her stomach, she sighed in frustration."...I do but-"

Martha smiled openly, a genuine smile."Then what else matters?"

Present Day

It's easy to loose interest in your surroundings when you're sitting around in a pub several hours before closing time.

Small talk already made and several rounds of drinks already gone through, Sybil and Tom agreed to go for a stroll and somehow (for old time's sake) ended up on the Old Library roof of their former university.

While Trinity College's Old Library Building was always famously one of the campus's most beautiful structures with its beautiful Byzantine style architecture, it also had (for the student's and former students who somehow had gotten their hands on the access codes) one of the most all encompassing views that Dublin had to offer.

The lights of Westland Row, Pearse's Street and Nassau Street glowed softly below them, shedding light onto the grey pavements and red brick buildings that were usually teeming with life.

In the distance, Tom could just about make out headquarters of Google and Facebook all the way out near the docklands, see the head of the millennium Spire and the chimneys of Jameson's Distillery. More close at hand, the rooftops of The Berkeley Library, The Graduate Common Room and The Pav came into view, usually filled with students, lecturers and tourists alike but now having reached a quieter nighttime state.

Tom watched silently as Sybil swayed, a little buzzed from the alcohol, as she took in the sight of her former home. Her fingers gripped the railing with one hand, the other surrounded the neck of a bottle of Bulmers.

The evening breeze ruffled her hair and Tom felt as though, for just a moment, that he'd travelled back in time.

"So, Tom Branson", Sybil started with a lighthearted grin, her voice tugging firmly him back to the present. She adopted a tone that wouldn't have sounded at all out of place at a job interview, her eyes glinting in jest. "What else have I missed? How has your life been?"

"A little strange at times, but not bad."

"Strange how?"

Tom didn't know what possessed him to say it, but he thought it may have had something to do with the alcohol, his current nostalgic train of thought or the fact that Sybil's life had seemingly changed so much in recent years while his had reached a rather uncomfortable and smothering state of paralysis.

"Well, I got jilted at the alter last year which was definitely a highlight."

Sybil's eyes widened and she stepped back from the railing to sit beside him. "You were engaged?", she asked, tone falling somewhere between sympathy and shock.

Tom rolled his eyes, "Don't sound so surprised", he replied only half teasingly, unsure whether or not he should be offended by her disbelief.

"I'm not surprised", Sybil clarified with a shake of her head, seeming to understand his train of thought. "Any woman would be lucky to have you. I just...I just never thought you'd get married so young. Goodness..."

Shrugging, Tom found himself agreeing with her.

The person Sybil had known in college definitely wouldn't have gotten engaged at barely twenty five. At one point, Tom even remembered having argued during college debate that marriage was a purely capitalist institution that completely went against the principles of socialism.

Christ, hadn't his younger self been quite the hardliner?

"To be honest, I'd never thought so either...but she wanted to."

Sybil eyed him cautiously, clearly trying to decide whether or not it was in her place to inquire further. After a few seconds, it seemed as though her curiosity won out.

"So what happened?"

"While Sarah and I were both ready for a serious relationship at the time, I s'ppose we just didn't...fit. D'you know? At least not in the ways that matter"

Sybil smiled understandingly, letting out a tired breath. "I do actually, all too well. During my first two years of medical school, I didn't really have much time for a relationship. Then at Christmas one year, my parents introduced me to Larry."

Tom glanced sideways at her, a single eyebrow raised. "The entitled arse?"

Smirking humourlessly, Sybil nodded. "Yeah, the entitled arse", she agreed, her voice quickly loosing a fair chunk of it's mirth. "They introduced me to Larry...and that was just it for a while. For the first time in my life I was doing exactly what they expected of me."

Tom nodded soberly, taking a swig of his beer as Sybil pointedly looked away from him, gathering her emotions, before continuing on.

"Strangely, it ended up being the longest relationship I've ever been in. I think it worked for as long as it did becuase Larry and I had such busy schedules. We hardly ever saw each other at all towards the end."

As he watched her Tom felt a ripple of concern rush through him...a feeling that, when it came to Sybil, wasn't altogether foreign."So ye drifted apart?", he asked carefully.

Sybil shook her head, taking another sip of her drink. She decidedly avoided Tom's eye, her tone audibly bitter. "Not exactly, Larry cheated on me with his secretary. Painfully unoriginal of him really."

"Feck it, Sybil. I'm sorry."

Sybil shrugged, the furrow between her brows deepening. "Don't be. The whole thing was a stupid waste of time on my part."

"You and Larry were together for what?", Tom asked, trying to recall what she'd told him earlier. "Three years"

"Yeah", Sybil replied, huffing out a humourless laugh. "I spent every single bloody weekend with Larry Grey for three years. Of all people! Jesus Christ, I was nuts!"

Tom smiled at her thoughtfully, definitely blaming the next words that came out of his mouth on the alcohol he'd consumed. "So that's one hundred and four days a year for three years. Giving a sum total of three hundred and twelve days."

Sybil shrugged, slightly bemused by his calculations."I guess so."

A slightly cocky smile twitched at the corner of Tom's lips and he returned his gaze to the university's quad and campanile, the very spot where they'd first met on Fresher's Week all those years ago. He'd hadn't exactly thought of the pair of them coming back here, but it was rather fitting that they did. "But you and I were together for over a year."

Sybil smirked, understanding what he was getting at. "So you're still technically my longest relationship?"

"Technically."

Rolling her eyes, Sybil smiled. She followed his gaze back out on to the grounds, an odd sense of peace coming over her. "You know what? That's oddly comforting. Cheers."

Tom chuckled, watching her out of the corner of his eye. "You're welcome, Syb"

Her eyes soften ever so slightly at the nickname. Sybil bit her lip silently, as though toying with the next words that fell from her lips. "Tom, when you were younger, did you believe that there would be countless people with whom you would connect with throughout life? Do you remember that?"

Smiling soberly, Tom had to admit he understood the feeling perfectly. It was a feeling that always, without fail, came over him when he thought of Sybil. Even now, she was the only woman who he could genuinely call 'the one who got away'.

"And then you wake up and realise that those kinds of connections happen only a few times?", Tom finished simply.

Sybil nodded. "Exactly."

He grimaced at the strange tug he felt in the pit of his stomach as he looked at her, unable to pull his thoughts away from everywhere they'd gone wrong."It hurts doesn't it?"

She sighed deeply in agreement, her eyes glazing over just a little. "Sometimes"

Taking another sip from his beer, Tom felt the urge to push the conversation just a little bit further. His mother and sisters had always complained he'd had all the sophisticated the subtlety of a concrete brick.

"You never did come back to visit. Six whole years, eh? That hurt too."

Sybil eyed him cooly, giving him that breezy look that told him he was every bit as much to blame as she was. "I did actually", she said, her tone perfectly nonchalant."...but you were a little busy at the time."

Tom frowned, genuinely taken aback. He'd never ran into Sybil since the day she'd left...had he?

"Wait, what?"

Sybil raised her eyebrows, surprised at his confusion. "New Years Eve 2015", she reminded firmly. "Does that ring any bells?"

Tom wracked his brains, coming up with flashes of a wild night and a killer hangover on New Years Day. Kieran had been very insistent that year on getting his younger brother back out on the tear and back 'into the saddle'...with predictably disastrous consequences.

"Jaysus Sybil", Tom said, knowing that whatever state she'd found him in couldn't have been good. "Why didn't you ring beforehand?"

Sybil smiled almost smugly. "I'm not sure that would have helped matters for either of us."

"Oh Syb, I-", he started, feeling the immediate need to excuse whatever his drunken arse may have said or done.

Chuckling, Sybil looked almost pleased with the discomfort she'd caused. "It's okay, Tom. Water under the bridge, right?"

"I am sorry, Love", Tom said, attempting to fumble out a genuine apology. He wished he could remember what he'd said to her...but just couldn't. "Truly"

Sybil eyed him almost affectionately, taking another swig from her bottle. She poked him teasingly on the arm, a smile playing about her lips. "Look at you, overestimating your long term impact!"

Tom returned her smile, albeit with some hesitation. "You always did say I was full of myself."

Sybil smirked thoughtfully, her smile faltering somewhat.

"Hmm, and I'm still standing faithfully by that description."

Silence engulfed them for several minutes, the nighttime bustle of Dublin, the faint sounds of chatter from the Schols buildings and the distant yowling of Trinny, the college cat, filling their ears.

"You know, Tom", Sybil said softly after some time, not quite meeting his eye. "In hindsight, I think you made the best decision. You weren't ready to leave Dublin when we finished college."

Tom nodded in agreement. "Probably not. But then again, you were always a lot braver than me."

Sybil whirled around to face him, surprising even him when she immediately took up arms against Tom's own self depreciating joke."That's not true!"

Unconvinced, he smiled at her somewhat tenderly. "You left England all on your own at seventeen, Sybil...and went off to America at twenty one. That's more than I can say. I'm in my late twenties and I've never lived anywhere but Dublin."

"But you love it here, Tom", Sybil argued, remembering very well their final argument all too well. He'd chose his loving and supportive family, his home and a chance at his dream career over her...Sybil couldn't exactly fault him for that. After all, she'd likely have done the same. "You always did."

Tom eyed her seriously, knowing he may very well end up regretting the next words that fell from his mouth...but then again, that had never stopped him before.

"Not as much as I loved you...once upon a time, anyway."

To his surprise, Sybil laughed aloud.

Stretching her legs, she wordlessly fumbled her way into a standing position before offering Tom a hand to pull him up. Despite the weight of his admission, a comfortable sense of true companionship fell between them...just like old times.

"Well, now I can say for sure that you've definitely had too much to drink. Let's get out of here, shall we Tom? I thought you promised me a grand reacquainting with Dear Old Dublin!"

A/N: Let's just pretend it hasn't been six months, shall we? Hahaha! I'm so incredibly sorry for the late update. Hope you guys are still enjoying this :)