You made your way through the empty and cold halls of the bunker. You couldn't sleep again, and the exhaustion was starting to weigh on your bones. You carried your heavy limbs into the kitchen and began to make a cup of tea. Your movements were lazy and clumsy as you pulled things from the cabinets. You rested your weary body against the counter and closed your eyes, waiting for the water to boil. It was times like this, times when the world was still, that you could let your walls down for a moment. Everything that you had built up to keep all the bad out came crumbling down with a crushing silence in your head. You could breathe for a moment. Relax into the feeling of air filling your lungs. You loved the silence of the bunker. How the halls echoed with the peace of night. There was something about the serenity and how it swept you away into its peaceful embrace that made your heart open.
Your head rested against one of the cabinets, and you felt the air on your skin. Felt everything that you didn't allow yourself to feel. The ache. The need. The wanting of something just out of your reach. There was something building inside you, and it was getting harder and harder to ignore. You felt in when he looked at you, the heavy and abundant feeling that consumed you completely. You felt it when he touched you, his skin like flames against yours, hot but fleeting flames that were always gone too soon. Sam was becoming all you thought about. The way his eyes seemed to hold yours and communicate everything he was thinking without saying a word. The way his hands would work delicately over your injured skin, stitching you with precise lines. How his brow furrowed when he was reading a complicated piece of lore. He was perfect, and you were falling hard. You knew you couldn't, though. Knew it was dangerous and shaky ground to walk on. Knew that the hurt would kill you if you let yourself feel the good completely. So you buried it deep within you, building walls with locks and bolts. Locking the feeling inside your heart and throwing away the key.
Sam woke from his slumber with a low and husky groan. His mind waking and his body fighting back, trying to roll back into peace. He sighed and relented into getting up, suddenly feeling restless. He moved throughout the bunker with heavy limbs and tired eyes until he heard something. The distinct sound of running water filled the air, and he knew that it was you before he even looked. Something was happening between the two of you, something he couldn't explain. He seemed to wake every time you woke. Seemed to know where you were and what you were doing before finding you, just where his instincts told him he would. He didn't understand it, but he didn't want to. All he could think about was how you made him feel. How seeing you made his heart jump, and his chest tighten. How your eyes seemed to tell him everything he ever needed to know, passing information back and forth without speaking one word. How your scent instantly calmed him, bringing him peace as he has never known. He felt comfortable with you in every sense of the word. Listening to you rattle off information about lore and monsters always made him smile with pride. Hearing you hum while folding laundry or showering gave him chills up his spine. When you let your hair down, all of his stood up. He couldn't look away from you if he tried. He was completely and utterly captivated by you.
Sam found you in the kitchen, right where he knew you would be. You were leaning against the counter, your head resting on the cabinet. The only light was coming from above the stove, illuminating you in an amber glow. You were wearing a tank top and sweatpants, a sweater was draped across you with one side exposing your shoulder. The way the light cast shadows across your features made Sam do a double-take to see if this was all a dream. The water began to whirl and boil, the steam starting to surround you in a hazy cloud. You turned and poured the water into your waiting cup and bounced the tea bag a few times. You turned back around and leaned against the counter once again, exhaustion evident on your features. Sam knew he had to say something, that you would eventually catch him staring, so he made his way into the kitchen quietly as not to scare you.
"Hey, Y/N." He said, trying to keep his voice quiet. Your eyes opened, eyelashes fluttering against your skin.
"Hey, Sam." You responded with a soft smile that took Sam's breath away. "Want some tea?" You asked, pointing to your own cup. Sam smiled and nodded his head, sitting on the countertop and facing you.
"Can't sleep?" He asked you.
"No, my mind won't stop turning. It's like a movie I can't shut off but don't want to watch." You confessed to him, looking up at him from under your lashes. Sam wanted to tell you so badly that this was his favorite version of you, raw and real. Not worried about what others would think, just completely open and honest with him about everything.
"I hear you." He said, "I have been having trouble sleeping as well. It's like my body craves sleep, but my mind won't let me rest." He nodded, licking his lips nervously. He usually didn't open up like this, and it was making him apprehensive of your reaction. You looked into his eyes then, really looked deeply into them, and Sam's heart stopped beating for a moment.
"That's exactly how I feel," You began, your mouth saying the words as if you were unsure of what was going to come out once you started. "like my subconscious knows I want something, but I can't figure it out for myself." You reasoned, your hands moving with you as you spoke.
"Strange how we both feel the same way," Sam admitted, and it was strange. How could you both be feeling the exact same way? You raised your eyebrows and nodded your head, agreeing with him that it was suspicious.
"Would you like to just hang out? Maybe the movie will turn off after a while." You offered, lifting both cups of tea into your hands and walking through the bunker. Sam followed you, watching the way the shadows danced across your skin.
You sat down on the couch, pulling your legs under you and resting your head against your hand. Sam sat next to you and took his cup of tea, shaking his fingers from the heat. You found a blanket and draped it across your legs, loving the warmth it brought you.
"So, what would you like to talk about?" Sam asked you, bringing one leg onto the couch and turning his body to thoroughly look at you. The way the shadows cast upon his structured face sent chills down your spine. His green and gold eyes seemed to shine even brighter against the dark backdrop of the bunker. You shrugged and giggled slightly, letting your head fall in thought. You smiled somewhat and bit your lip, letting your eyes wander back to Sam.
"What's your favorite smell?" You asked him, running your thumb over the lip of your mug. He gave you a crooked grin and looked away for a moment.
"Um. It's strange, but books and all bookstores." He smiled and scratched the back of his neck, turning his face away from you for a moment.
"I love that smell too. It always makes me feel peaceful." You licked your bottom lip, feeling shy under his gaze.
"What's your favorite book?" He asked you, leaning a little closer.
"Y/F/B." You said quickly.
"I have never heard of that one. Can I borrow it sometime?" He asked you, running his fingers through his hair; you could smell his shampoo.
"Of course." You nodded, trying to calm your heart. "What's your favorite book?" You asked, tilting your head to the side.
"Oh man, I have read so many that it's hard to pinpoint one, but if I had to pick…I guess it would be this one I found in this old bookstore one day. It was pouring outside in Montana, I think; we were in town for a case. Something stopped me; just something about this bookstore made me want to go inside. It was the ultimate bookstore smell." He laughed then, a genuine laugh that made his eyes sparkle. "It was called 'Before I Go To Sleep' it's about a woman whose memory resets every morning and she doesn't know who she can trust." He explained, looking away and getting lost in the memory, eyes seeing the past instead of the present. You loved it when Sam let himself go. Loved it when he was open and free. Seeing a genuine smile across his ridiculously handsome face made your entire week. You lived for those smiles.
"I would love to read that too." You grinned at his carefree expression. You watched his shoulders relax, and his eyes close in relaxation.
"I'll lend it to you whenever you would like. Ok, favorite sound?" He took a sip of tea, pink tongue coming out to lick off the excess liquid. You reluctantly tore your eyes away from his face and cleared your throat.
"Y/F/S." You replied, taking a sip of tea as well.
"I like that too!" He said excitedly, his hand coming out to gesture at you while you both fell into laughter.
"Ok. Ok, what's yours?" You asked between breaths. He paused for a moment, holding his breath and looking directly at you making your heart drop. Oh no, what happened? Things were going so well.
"What?" You asked, brushing your fingers across your face. "Is there something on my face?" You asked, suddenly self-conscious.
"No, no, no, you're perfect. I was just thinking of my favorite sound." He said, shaking his hand at your question. "Um, the sound of rain on glass." His voice was different, more solemn somehow. Not as calm and cheery as it just was.
"I like the rain too." You smiled at him, trying to bring the light back into the conversation; you were desperate to keep talking. His eyes met yours once again, and he let out a breath through his mouth.
"I think I am going to try and get some more sleep." He said with a soft smile that didn't touch his eyes.
"Ok, goodnight." You replied.
"Thanks, Y/N. I enjoyed talking to you tonight. Rest well." He said, standing and looking down at you.
"Me too, Sam." You straightened your back, trying to tell him you wanted him to stay. He looked down at you, an almost pained expression on his face as he leaned forward slightly. His mouth opened and closed again.
"Night." He said, turning away from you and making his way down the halls of the bunker once more. You lowered your head and swallowed thickly, feeling the insecurity crawl up your spine. You made your way back to your room and curled yourself under the covers. You weren't as warm when Sam wasn't near you, weren't as free. You felt your walls slowly build themselves back up, the locks sliding into place once more.
Sam laid down in his bed and stretched his long legs. His mind instantly thought of your face, the disappointment when he said goodnight. He hated himself for leaving you there, but he was letting himself get swept away. Letting his emotions take control, and honestly, it scared the shit out of him, shook him deeply to his core. When you had asked him his favorite sound, he froze. How could he tell you it was your laugh? How could he tell you that every time he thought of happiness, your face flashed through his mind? You were everything he wanted and more. That's why he had to leave tonight. He almost told you all he was thinking and feeling. He almost pulled you into him and let his instincts have their way. Tell his mind to be quiet while he let his skin explore yours in the darkest hours of the night. He shook his head and closed his eyes, praying for sleep that never came.
The Next Night
Your eyes opened to your dark and empty room. You rolled onto your back and laid your forearm across your eyes. You knew that this was going to be another sleepless night. Your body begged you to fall back into rest; your joints were aching under your skin. You moved out of bed, grabbing your sweater along the way, and made your way through the maze. Your body instantly knew where you were going. Your mind in a haze as your feet brought you into the library. Sam sat at the table, two cups of tea in front of him. You smiled at him and sat in the chair across from him. He slid one of the cups over to you, eyes never leaving yours. You bit your lip and instantly felt yourself opening up again. Forgetting all the bad in the world and only seeing its beauty for the first time in your life. The locks began to wiggle against the walls, begging to be let down again. You were scared. Scared to be wrong. Scared to be seen. Scared to be hopeful. Everything was swirling around you in a swarm of emotions and tentative faith. Then you looked at Sam. His genuine and kind eyes were looking deep into yours, and you felt like you could breathe again. You forgot about last night. Forgot about how empty you had felt when he left you on the couch. Your shoulders relaxed, and you gave him a soft smile, letting him know you had forgiven him.
"Favorite snack?" He asked you, the left side of his mouth rising in a smile. You giggled and narrowed your eyebrows, looking into the distance and really giving it some thought.
"Y/F/S." You responded, your voice slightly shaky. "We all know yours is like carrots or something." You joked. He laughed, dimples showing through his scruff.
"Actually, I have always had a weakness for popcorn. I like how it's crunchy but easy to chew." Sam said, his finger coming up to correct you.
"Favorite quote?" You asked, spinning your mug on the wood table.
"Oh, that's a good one. 'Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.'" He said, his eyes diverting from yours to remember the quote.
"I like that. Who said it?" You asked, leaning forward in your chair.
"Gandhi." Sam said with an embarrassed smile and nod of his head. You smiled too.
"'Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.'" You said, your eyes staring directly into his.
"Isn't that also Gandhi?" Sam asked you, his eyes softening. You nodded your head and bit your bottom lip.
"We have a lot in common." He said, almost to himself.
"We certainly do." You agreed, letting your words settle in between the two of you.
The Next Night
Sam's eyes opened to the sound of feet walking along the floor. He smiled to himself and sat up quickly, ignoring the protest from his joints. He practically raced through the bunker, eyes scanning for you. His feet brought him to the couch again. You were there, lighting the fireplace. You rose the match to your lips and blew it out, the smoke dancing around your face. Sam held his breath at your beauty and made his way over to you, sitting down on the floor. Your face turned to him, smiling up at him with a loving expression. Sam felt all the worry he held onto tumble to the ground once again. His shoulders relaxed, and all the tension left his body. The night passed with the two of you discussing your favorite things. Holding onto the memories in the making. He couldn't get enough of you. Everything about you filled everything empty in him. You yawned, and he felt the exhaustion wash over him at the same time. Before he knew what was happening, the two of you were lying together on the floor. Sam closed his eyes and felt the peace surround him. He relished in the calming force you had over him. His eyes fluttered, your breathing slowing in your chest. He felt his heart beating in time with yours. He drifted off into a peaceful and restful sleep that made him feel years younger. He woke to you curled into him. Your lips were parted, and deep breaths were filling you. He smiled down at your peaceful expression, knowing what he had to do.
The Next Night
You shot up out of bed and ran off into the bunker. Your feet couldn't take you to him fast enough. You raced into the library and rounded the corner, seeing him on the couch. You smiled and sat down next to him, letting your leg touch his.
"Y/N, there is something I need to tell you." He said, his elbows coming to rest on his thighs. Your heart dropped, and heat rushed throughout you.
"Ok." You nodded, trying to hide your rapid breathing.
"I...well...I'm not sure how to say it." He paused for a moment, and you thought you were going to die. "I love you." He looked at you now, connecting his eyes to yours. You swallowed and opened your mouth to speak, but not knowing what to say. "I can't tell you exactly when it happened, but I love you. One day we were friends, then we were best friends, and for some time now, I have been madly in love with you." He confessed; your eyes widened. You had no idea what to do; of course, you loved him too. Of course, you should tell him. You couldn't believe it, you had been feeling a building love for so long now. He felt it too. He loved you, and you loved him. You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding and smiled at him.
"Sam, I-I love you too." You said, your hand covering his.
"Good, because I have wanted to do this for a very long time." He said, his hand coming up to cup your cheek. You closed your eyes at the feeling of his skin on yours. He leaned forward and pressed his lips against yours, softly at first. Your heart rate skyrocketed, and your blood raced through your veins. You let out a small moan, arching your back into him. It was as if someone poured warm honey down your body. An uncontrollable wildfire was spreading throughout you, consuming everything in its path. You ran your fingers through his hair, holding onto it slightly. This was it. This was everything you had ever wanted and more. You knew now that he was the one. Your life had led you to him so you could be with him. His hands circled your waist and pulled you closer to him. You climbed onto your knees and pulled on his hair, tilting his head back slightly. Your legs straddled his hips, and you opened your mouth to him. He tasted like home. The walls in your head fell and you knew it was permanent this time. You could feel the locks being swept into the ocean, the waves crushing them. You smiled against his lips, rolling your hips into his. He groaned and pulled away from you slightly, resting his forehead against yours.
"Y/N," His voice was a breathy and rough whisper that made a chill run down your spine.
"Sam." You let your fingertips dance across his lips before delving into another mind-melting kiss.
Finally, the world was in harmony.