AN: This is a missing moment from Blye, K., Part 2 (3x17). How did Kensi know that there was something more for Julia to explain when she and Deeks talked in the bullpen?

Oh, and I blew my 1000-word count out of the water on this one, but I figured since this was a two-part episode, that was okay. In fact, since it was a double-length episode, I should double my usual word limit, right? In which case, I came in juuust under budget – go me!

Kensi slowly wandered around the ground floor of Julia's house, trying to imagine what type of person lived there. So far she'd guessed that her mother was unmarried, since there were no pictures of her and any one particular man among all the photos on display in the common areas she'd explored. There were also no pictures of younger people at various stages of life, so Kensi was forced to assume her mother had no other children.

It seemed like a big house for just one person, though. Maybe she'd remarried and subsequently divorced, Kensi thought. She'd always imagined her mother wasn't alone. What else would keep a woman from her daughter but another man and other children?

She had to admit to some astonishment earlier when she'd seen the photos and mementos of her own childhood that Julia kept in the hutch. She honestly hadn't thought her mother cared that much.

Kensi was also surprised that she liked the décor of the house. It was simple yet elegant, and she wondered if her mother had done it herself. She remembered that Julia always seemed to have good taste, and liked to show it off. It was one of many ways Kensi believed she was nothing like her mother.

Making her way back to the foyer, Kensi was glad to see the small cleaning crew hard at work on the stairway landing, apparently being supervised by Deeks. Clairmont's body had been removed by the coroner's office, and after LAPD left all that remained was the mess and destruction.

"Hetty's got people coming over soon to replace the glass in the door upstairs, and Rick and Juan here are almost done. They already got rid of the blood in the second floor hall," Deeks said as he cocked his head toward the men in protective gear treating the area that had been stained with blood and bodily fluids not too long ago. "I checked it out and that seems to be all the damage."

Kensi nodded, watching the crime scene clean-up techs work. "Yeah, that sounds about right."

"Hetty will also have someone take care of any bullet holes on the outside of the house, but that'll probably be tomorrow. Sam and Callen went around and marked them before they left. I'll give your mother the name of the company later, when I bring her back from the boatshed." Deeks paused, studying his partner intently. Her mind seemed to be elsewhere.

"You good?" he asked cautiously.

The paramedics had arrived and wrapped her ribs and treated her arm where Clairmont slashed her. "I'll live." After another moment of silence, Kensi said, "Thanks. For dealing with the repairs to the house."

Deeks shrugged, "Hetty set it all up."

"But you stayed behind to make sure it all gets done right. You didn't have to do that."

"Your mother shouldn't have to see this, or deal with it."

Walking past his partner and indicating that she should follow, Deeks moved into the living room and away from potentially curious ears. Dissatisfied with her previous non-answer he asked again, "You really okay, Kens?"

She didn't meet his eyes for a few beats, and then only briefly. "I'm fine."

"Uh huh, we both know what that means."

"I'm good," she corrected. "It's just…a lot to take in." When Deeks simply stared at her, Kensi continued, "I learned my father was part of a black-ops team that specialized in irregular rendition, I finally know the truth about his death, and I found out my mother is living in California again."

"Twenty minutes from you," he reminded her. Kensi remained silent, but he asked anyway, "You want to come with me to pick her up?"

She quickly shook her head and crossed her arms over her chest in a protective gesture, "No. Just because I don't want the woman dead doesn't mean I want her in my life again."

Deeks sat on an overstuffed couch and Kensi followed his lead, perching on the edge of a catty-cornered wingback chair. "Listen, I don't know much about what happened between you and your mother, but she told us some things that I think you should know."

"Us?"

"Callen and Sam were at the boatshed when we got there." He smiled, "They were a little taken with your mom, I think."

Kensi flashed a look of annoyance. "Why? Because she's still attractive?"

Deeks chuckled softly, "No, although Callen couldn't stop staring at her for a while."

"Then why? What has my mother done in the past fifteen years that's so great?" She waved her hand around the perfectly-decorated living room, "Other than make enough money to live well, apparently." Kensi had a hard time keeping the bitterness from her voice. Despite what she'd told Deeks, she was hurting and exhausted, both physically and emotionally. She didn't have it in her to pretend right now, and she was relieved she didn't need to with him.

"It wasn't what she's done with herself since you last saw her, it's what she did that caused you to run away."

Kensi shook her head slowly, clearly confused. When she finally spoke, her voice was wary. "What do you mean?"

Deeks looked her in the eye, trying to determine if his partner was ready to hear what he was about to say. Deciding the time probably wouldn't get any better, and believing she wouldn't speak to her mother otherwise, he said it bluntly: "Kens, she knew about Oscar-Sierra."

Kensi whispered, barely able to get the words out, "What? How is that possible?"

"Your father told her. She didn't approve, and that's why she left him."

"What are you saying? That there was no other man?"

"No, there was no one else. She lied so you wouldn't be disappointed in your dad. Just in her."

Kensi leaned forward, putting her elbows on her knees and her face in her hands. When she glanced at Deeks several long seconds later, she thought he looked as pained as she felt. "I've spent half my life angry at my mother for betraying my father and for trying to take me away from him, when in fact she was protecting me from thinking less of him? And for all that time, I thought my father was a hero and that I knew everything about him except why he really died, but that's not true either. What am I supposed to do with all of this, Deeks?"

"First, your father was a hero, Kens. He did what was asked of him to protect his country. Difficult and important missions that most men couldn't do. You still have every reason to be proud of him." He waited a few beats before gently suggesting, "As for what you should do, maybe think about talking to your mother?"

Kensi knew Deeks was right about her dad. Hell, as a sniper she'd been in similar situations herself. But her world had just gone topsy-turvy; things she once accepted as fact had been disproven. It was unsettling, to say the least. She didn't want to make any decisions about her mother just now. Kensi Blye did not react on emotion; she acted on instinct, and hers were all off.

Deeks sat there silently, a comforting presence, and continued to observe her as Kensi allowed herself to begin to feel the grief of a lost half-lifetime with her mother. Before long a thought occurred to her. "Why didn't she come back after he died, then?"

He debated if he should share anything, but ultimately went with the little Julia had told them. "She didn't say specifically, but she mentioned that you said you never wanted to talk to her again. Could be she was just respecting that." It was a weak defense, even to Deeks' ears.

"My father was dead and I was alone! She should have come back, been a mother to me and told me the truth, especially if there was no one else in her life. All this time I thought she chose some other family over me, but there was no one…so why did she stay away?" Kensi hated how pathetic her question sounded. But she was thankful for the frustration she felt because it kept the tears at bay. The last thing she wanted was to start crying over her mother in front of her partner.

"Kensi, only one person can answer your questions. You need to ask her."

"And if I don't like the answers? What if she wanted nothing to do with me? I said horrible, hateful things to her that last time. Maybe a single, childless life was better than raising a stubborn, angry teenaged girl who always preferred her father."

"I don't think that's true. You didn't see her face earlier when I mentioned your name. She misses you. I'm pretty sure the only reason she came with me today was to hear about you, because she sure as hell didn't believe it when I promised she'd see you. Look, maybe you both have some explaining to do, but you were the kid and she was the adult. She knows she hurt you. I really believe she regrets the decisions she made."

She shook her head. "I haven't had a relationship with my mother for literally half my life. How do we get over that?" Kensi stood up, feeling trapped and restless. "I don't know what to do, Deeks."

"Talk to her. Or better yet, just listen to what she has to say. Come to the boatshed with me, and I'll give you two some space, or I can stay if you want. Honestly, Kens? You already haven't spoken for fifteen years; can things get any worse if you see her now?"

She let out a slow breath before agreeing, "I guess not."

"So you'll do it?"

Deeks seemed happier about it than Kensi felt. "Maybe you can just hang out on the pier?"

He smiled brightly, "Sure thing, partner."

Deeks' phone sounded, and he pulled it from his pocket to check the message. "Text from Hetty, she wants you back at ops ASAP."

Kensi didn't know if she was more relieved or disappointed.

"Want me to cover for you? Go. I'll tell Hetty you just left to see your mother. You don't have a cell; she won't be able to contact you until you get to the boatshed, and by then she probably won't insist."

"No, I think this is the universe telling me that I need a little more time before I see her."

"But you will?"

"Yeah, I think so. Maybe I'll stop back here on my way home later."

"Good," Deeks slung his arm over Kensi's shoulder and walked her toward the door, "I wouldn't want you to make a liar out of me."

Kensi smiled lightly, the first since he made her laugh at her apartment that morning. "Thank-you for everything today, Deeks. For believing in me, giving me space, keeping my mother safe, having my back, all of it. Plus I'm sure it couldn't have been easy to tell me all that about my mother. But I'm glad you did. You were a really good partner today."

"That's it? Really good? Pretty sure I'm a really good partner every day, Kensalina. I think after today I should be referred to as the world's best partner, or something equally suitable. Maybe most awesome and bravest?"

"Certainly not most humble," she stepped out from under Deeks' arm and pointed a finger at him. "Touché."

"That's not how – you know what, never mind. I'll give you a pass this once because you've had a rough day. But soon, I'm going to school you on the proper use of that word, and you can add most patient to the ever-growing list of glowing superlatives to describe your partner."

Kensi gave Deeks a real smile now as she opened the door and stepped outside, marveling at how he could make her feel better. "Deal."