Chapter 06: Just Stumbling Around in the Dark

We piled back into the hideout, Rachel took her seat and pulled out another forty. She held up the drink. "You sure you don't want some, Max? We've got beer, weed, Adderall, oxys, coke. Whatever your vice."

Max shook her head as she trailed over to the bench again. As she sat down, she pulled out her baggie of Xanax. "Pass me a water?" Rachel gave her one of the big bottles and she downed a segment. "In the spirit of being open and honest, I don't want either of you to offer me any drugs. I don't want to get high."

"Is it okay if I ask why?" I asked as I knelt down and grabbed one of my own beers.

The Max Armor came back up after Max set her water down. "It brings back bad memories. Can we leave it at that?"

"Sure, Max," I muttered.

So much for the open part of "open and honest."

Cracking my beer open on the table again, I retreated to the seat at the back of the hideout. Sitting down, I let my imagination run wild. Could it be that she had some sort of bad trip and got someone killed? Stealing a glance over at Rachel, I found her watching Max out of the corner of her eye, though I was sure Max was none the wiser. Could Rachel have been wondering the same thing as me?

"Max, I'm sorry," Rachel said. Her fingers toyed with her drink as she stole glances at Max. "Chloe kind of sold me on this mousey girl that she had to drag along to do anything rebellious. Never imagined you'd actually beat either one of us."

"I should've thrown in the towel instead of going with that bullshit accessory after the fact thing," I admitted, letting my head fall back and rest against the cinderblock wall. "It was kind of a stretch, anyway."

"Definitely a stretch," Rachel agreed.

Max's armor came down as her hands kneaded her thighs. "I don't know. Like I said: it needed to be said. Besides—" a grin touched Max's lips "—it just reaffirmed that Chloe's still got my back." Letting out a dark chuckle, she continued, "I confess to murder and you just offer to help hide the body? That… means a lot, Chloe."

Even though I couldn't really see Rachel's smile from my position, I could definitely feel it. "Chloe's hella awesome like that. I'm a pretty good judge of character, and even I underestimated just how loyal and determined she is."

"What am I, a dog?" I asked, throwing the compliments back at her, relying on the playfulness in my tone to let Rachel know I really did appreciate the praise, even though I didn't feel like I deserved it.

"You're a bitch. Get it right, Price," Rachel bit back, a friendly teasing in her voice.

"Queen Bitch to you, Amber," I replied, refusing to back down.

"Nope. That's Victoria's title. You haven't earned it." I laughed at that and so did Max.

God, was it good to hear her laugh again. I held up my hands in surrender. "You're right. No way I'd even want to compete against her for that title."

The laughter died down, and I couldn't help but to feel a little left out. Usually, I was more than content to hang back and just keep my eyes on Rachel, but from the back of the hangout, I could barely see Max. Stepping up, I grabbed my seat and dragged it over by the table and facing Max. "So, what next?" I asked, looking over at Rachel.

With a wry smile, Rachel shook her head. "My games keep blowing up in our faces. I think it's time to let Max choose what to do."

Max leaned over, looking past me. "I know the first thing I want to do."

I looked back over my shoulder and a huge grin found my face as I saw exactly what Max was looking at. Two lines of graffiti stood out. I swelled with pride, realizing that I had started some sort of fucked up tradition with my trusty sharpie. Just as I was about to retrieve the black vengeance from my pocket, Max pulled a sharpie out of her bag. Even more pride flowed through me.

A girl after my own heart.

Max squeezed by me, taking her black marker to the wall to add her name. As she capped the marker and stowed it, Rachel piped up, "You're officially one of us, Max." She raised her drink in a toast, and I quickly crashed my beer against her's.

"Hell yeah, Max," I agreed. "Practically our leader. After all, you're the one that actually got out of the bay."

Her face flushed at that, and she ran back to her little corner. Fuck was she cute. I thought to mentally kick myself, even before Rachel glared at me, reminding me to keep it in my pants. Wait. Didn't Rachel say that Max had the hots for me? I turned up my beer, though my eyes stayed locked on Max. Things just got fucking complicated. Or, rather they got complicated as shit hours ago and my dumb ass just now caught on.

"So Max," I said to break the silence and put a stop to my thoughts from clawing at me. "What are we gonna do?"

"Maybe, instead of a game, how about a story?" Max asked, picking up her bag of cheese puffs. "How did you two meet? I want to hear the whole story."

I beamed, though I caught a plastic smile on Rachel. It was a helluva story, and for me it was fucking awesome. For her… that's a story that'd pick at a lot of festering wounds. "Rachel? You wanna tell her?"

"Yeah. Yeah, it's fine." Her words belied that tone that screamed that it wasn't. To prove it, she leaned forward and got up. "I'm gonna raid the glovebox," she said, holding out her hand for the key. "Why don't you start?"

I passed her the key, knowing full well that she was about to accelerate her unsober to dangerous levels. But Max didn't need to know that. I plastered on my smile again, this one far less enthusiastic. "So…"

Rachel ended up taking the story like a champ. And she wasn't so plastered that she fell out, either. It probably helped that Max actually engaged and seemed to really enjoy the story. She kept on getting this weird, melancholic smile on her face that I couldn't place, though. I'd have to ask Rache later what the fuck that was about.

"Rachel, I… I never knew," Max said to her, her voice full of sympathy. "Did you… I mean, you and your dad?"

"I don't talk to James any more than I have to," Rachel said, her voice devoid of her airs and forced pleasantries. Though it was subtle, I also caught a bit of a slur. Her forty went right back to her lips. "Home hasn't been home for years."

"That's why we have American Rust," I said, pulling out beer number five from the pack. They were already warm, but I had a good enough buzz going on that it didn't matter much. It certainly helped that Rachel and I finished off another joint during our story.

Max put on a tiny smile. "Your home away from hell…"

"Exactly!" Rachel said, holding up her forty.

Somehow, Max understood the gesture and clinked her water bottle against it. We were such good influences on her. "So, I guess it's your turn, Caulfield. What're you running from, taking shelter at American Rust?"

Max shrank at that, her gaze falling away. "I guess… I'm a little different from you two. I mean, my home in Seattle was never… bad. It just… wasn't home." She looked up, her eyes fixated on me with such an intense gaze, I looked away.

I took another gulp of warm beer as I fidgeted just a bit. "Yeah?"

"I didn't have something to run away from, so much as there was something I wanted to run toward. Shelter away from home isn't something I need, it's… I just want to be… here. With you."

Her words warmed me far more than the beer ever could've. My fingers traced along my burning face that I prayed wasn't as red as it felt. "Why wait five years, then?"

Max sighed, shaking her head. "I guess… if there was something I'm running from, it's the future. A future I'm terrified of and I don't… I don't want to die with nothing but regrets."

"That's deep," Rachel said, a little belch squeaking out after her sentence. Holding her drugs and liquor may have been one of Rachel's many talents, but she hit her supply pretty hard over the past hour or so. She'd need to sober up if she didn't want to pass out and miss the rest of the day.

Or not.

I sighed as her head lulled to the side and her eyes closed.

"Rachel? Are you okay?" Max asked, her eyes wide as she got up and leaned toward her.

"She'll be okay," I reassured Max as I slipped her half-finished forty from her limp grasp. "She overmedicates sometimes." With the forty safe from spilling all over her, I lightly patted her cheek a couple of times, getting her eyes to flutter open. "Hey, come on. You need to lay down."

"Mmnh, I'm fine," she protested, her voice weak and slurred.

Despite her words, she did little to protest when I pulled her up and let her lean against me. With a little help from Max, I got her back to the truck and let her sprawl out on the seat. Helping her get comfy, I made sure that she was positioned so that if she got sick, it would end up on the passenger side floor. I left the door open, too. Just to make sure she got plenty of fresh air, and just a little hope that she'd be awake enough to puke outside the truck if it came to that.

With Rachel safe in the truck, I walked Max over to a rusting heap and sat on the hood, pounding the spot next to me with my palm. She hopped up and we both watched Rachel in the truck for a minute before I felt like I had to say something. "S-sorry about Rachel," I muttered, my fingers playing with my bracelets as I gave a little shrug. "Those wounds are still kind of raw for her. Her first instinct is always to just… escape."

"Do you know what ever happened to Sera?"

I looked over to find Max staring at me. "Nah." A shake of my head dismissed the notion. "She's not exactly a person to be easily found. Don't get me wrong, I tried, but…"

"Can I help?"

My brow furrowed at that. Of course Max would want to help. She was Max. Doing the right thing wasn't something I did or other people did for me, except Rachel… Max. "We don't… have any leads."

"Did you? At any point?"

I shook my head. "After I saw her there at the mill… she totally vanished." With a sigh, I toyed with some of the hair sticking out of my beanie. "Part of me hopes she just went back to California. The rest… I-I never told Rachel, but I don't think her dad stopped at that. He went so far to keep them apart… I think… I don't think there's anyone to find, anymore."

Max's hand fell on my arm as she leaned toward me. "Does Rachel know?"

"It's not something we talk about, but yeah, I think she suspects the same thing," I said, raising my gaze to settle on my doped up angel, secure in my piece of shit truck sitting in the middle of our sanctuary—a goddamn junkyard long since forgotten. "Arcadia Bay is a fucked up nightmare, Max. You didn't need to come back here."

Though Max's hand never left my arm, I felt another hand on mine. I looked over, finding Max staring back at me with those big, blue eyes. "Yes, Chloe, I did. I don't care if it was hell itself, if that's where you were, I'd go."

The arm she held might as well have been paralyzed, so I used my free one to wipe my eyes. When the fuck did I start cry? Why? "Shit," I muttered, trying to keep myself together as my breaths caught in my throat. "S-sorry, Max."

How the fuck did I ever deserve a friend like her… like them?

"I want to tell you everything. You know that, right?" Max asked, her fingers tightening their grip on me, as if she were pressing the words themselves into my hot flesh. "Do you… do you really believe that the truth should always come to light, even if… even if keeping it in the dark is the only way of protecting the people you love?"

"Yeah, Max, I do," I said. There wasn't even a need to think about it. "Truth is freedom. If it hurts someone, at least they know. They can only make the decisions they really want if they aren't being lied to. Otherwise, it's just stumbling around in the goddamn dark, hoping to do the right thing and never really knowing."

I jerked my arm free, realizing that my tears dried as quickly as they spilled. Pointing over at Rachel I continued, "If I didn't tell her about her dad, she'd still trust that two-faced bastard. And what if that asshole put her in danger again? Her life might be shit, but she knows now who he really is—to not put her faith in him."

"Don't… don't put your faith in me," Max mumbled. I looked over to find her head hung so low that I couldn't see her face, and she had her Max Armor up. "I know… I'm betraying you by keeping secrets. But I won't let anyone put you in danger. Least of all me."

Just what the fuck happened to you, Max?

"Oh, jeez!"

I looked up at Max's shout to see Rachel, hanging halfway out the truck as she puked her guts out. "Shit!" Even from our spot, I could see that she was getting it all over herself. I was on my feet, headed her way. "Max, why don't you go get our shit from the hideout? Pretty sure Rache's gonna need a shower."