Hello everyone. I have been absent for a while. But I am starting back up. When I was reading my olderst story I on holiday i could barely look at it, it was so bad I was rewriting as I read it. Somehow I started here on chapter 28. It is a complete rewrite. there won't be any new plot twist, just (hopefully) much better writing. I do a bit more background here and there and more dialog for more character development. I hope you like it. I have also done chapter 29, and 30 and will upload those soon. I don't have a lot of writing time. But I must admit writing again feels good.

Chapter 28:

DPOV

I tried to open my eyes. My body felt heavy, my eyes even heavier. The very bright lights in the room did not make it any easier. I heard the steady beeping rhythm of a machine. I had heard that beeping before. I knew where I was. I was in a hospital. I eventually was able to open my eyes fully and groaned from the sheer effort it took. I looked down to the side and saw tubes coming out of my body, or going into my body, I couldn't tell yet. The liquid was clear so it must be saline coming in? maybe mixed with some pain medicine. If it was, it wasn't doing much. I was surprised I wasn't hooked up to a ventilator or extra oxygen. Because I was having trouble breathing. But I looked at my saturation levels on the machine and they were fine.

I groaned some more trying to sit up a bit, trying to see the rest of the room. Two hands came into view and helped me sit up. I let my eyes move up the hands and arms to look upon my helpers face. I was very surprised when I saw it was Adrian. He had a strange look in his eyes. It was almost tender. I wasn't used to that from him. He looked like how I felt. His eyes were bloodshot and he had large bags under his eyes.

Adrian had looked bad before. His hangovers often left him a little worse for wear, but this looked different. He wasn't drunk. What was he doing in my hospital room? Why was I in here? What had happened? I slowly moved my hand to my neck, as if that gave me all the information I needed.

"What happened?" I managed to croak out. My voice sounded hoarse, as if I hadn't talked in days.

"You lost a lot of blood. You are stable, but you were out of it for a while. I would have healed you, but I am all tapped out. Lot of people needed healing."

So that is why he looked so tired. He had been helping people from the Strigoi attack and the subsequent rescue mission. My breathing became more labored with each and every thought that went into figuring out what had happened on that mission. My first thought was about Rose, as it always seemed to be. I remember her in the sun. I could remember her screams. But I couldn't remember more, because my chest got even tighter thinking about her. A feeling of dread spread through my body like gangrene.

"Rose, where is Rose?" I asked Adrian desperately.

He looked down at his hands and I thought I saw a tear fall onto the ground. I sat up more, forcing my large body to comply. I was sitting at the edge of the bed, willing Adrian to look at me.

"Adrian, where is Rose?"

I had flashes of Rose screaming again. She was in the sun, she was safe, but in the flashes she was moving back into the shadows again. Why would she do that?

Adrian looked me dead in the eye, his tears flowing freely now.

"She's gone, Dimitri, she is gone."

My breathing stopped. Now I know what had caused it to tighten in the first place. Rose. Rose was gone. My reason for breathing was gone.

I tried to get up, but found it very hard. My body had lost a lot of blood. Adrian tried to move me back onto the bed, but I was resisting him.

"No, it can't be, she was safe in the sun. She was safe.

Adrian pushed me back onto the bed.

"You were both nearly safe, the rescue mission was a success, but a Strigoi was able to get you on the way out. He dragged you back in and fed from you. Rose went back in to save you. She didn't come back out.

No, this isn't happening. She went back to save me? She died because of me? I couldn't process this. I didn't believe him. Rose had fought so many Strigoi in her life, and she had always survived. They were wrong. Maybe she was just hurt, maybe she was still in those caves, making sure every last one of them is dead. I wouldn't believe she is dead until I saw it with my own two eyes.

"Take me to her, I want to see her, I need to see her."

Adrian looked at me with pity. Was her body so mangled that people weren't allowed to see her? This sometimes happened. Strigoi would be too rough and it was better for the family to not see the body. But this wasn't happening to Rose, because Rose wasn't dead. She couldn't be.

"Dimitri, they didn't find a body."

Of course they didn't find a body, because she wasn't dead. But the way he was looking at me, willing me to understand so he didn't have to say it, it was finally sinking in. She wasn't dead. She was undead.

I pushed Adrian away, in the process ripping out the saline line I had in my arm. The pain was a reminder I was still alive, whereas Rose was not. I saw my blood dripping onto the floor, but I could care less. I walked into the hallway, well more stumbled, but I was moving and that was the point.

I moved towards the Guardian dorms. The walk was short, thank God. First of all, because I was still very anemic from all the blood loss and walking in and on itself was a task, but I was also still in my hospital gown, and I didn't actually want to flash the whole campus. I had a few Guardians stare at me as I entered the building, but they didn't say anything.

I walked into my dorm room. Rose had only been here a couple of times, but it was like her whole presence lingered in this place. When I looked towards the bed, I remembered the lust charm and the night I got drunk when she helped me to my room and stayed the night. Her presence was all around me, except she wasn't here anymore. She wasn't anywhere. Her soul had left this world, but her body hadn't. That was still out there walking around, mocking the person she used to be.

My grieve fueled my rage and I flipped the bed, hoping it would ease my memories. When that didn't help I picked up all the western novels in my bookcase. She had made fun of them on numerous occasions. I saw her devious smile as I looked down at the books. I took a couple of them and threw them across the room. I could find a memory attached to almost each and every object in my room, so they all had to go. It eventually took the heavy desk to break me.

I started to cry and lean against the wall. I slid down, because I simply didn't have the strength left to stay up. I wanted to blame it on the blood loss, but I knew that it was her haunting memory that left me lifeless on the floor. I didn't know how long I had sat there on the ground, my hand around my knees, my head against the wall, just trying to breathe. It could have been seconds, it could have been hours. But eventually I saw someone come into my room.

It was Alberta. I tilted my head a little so I could look at her, but that was all I was capable of. Alberta had aged a decade in these last two days. How many more had fallen? For how many more kids and teachers had she cried?

"Dimitri I… " She was struggling with her words. Her voice sounded small. Alberta always sounded authoritative. She didn't have to shout or threaten, she just needed to say something and people would listen. She commanded respect. But right now, she sounded broken.

"Dimitri, I am sorry for your loss. You were out of it for two days. This afternoon there will be a memorial service, for those that have fallen. Maybe if you are up for it, you can attend."

She waited a few seconds for me to say something, but when I didn't she left the room and I tilted my head back and looked straight ahead. I let the tears fall silently now. I didn't know what to say, I didn't even know if I could talk. What was there to say. Rose was my everything, and now she is gone.

That afternoon I did go to the memorial service. I was able to get dressed, eat something and slowly move towards the funeral grounds. I was leaning against a tree at the back. I couldn't sit at the seats, watching everything from up close. Alberta had known about me and Rose, but if I sat at the front and couldn't control myself, everyone would find out, and I will not defile Rose's memory like that.

So I stayed at the back and watched the service. Although I think I was done crying. I think I was done with everything. Now I just felt numb. I know I should be feeling my wounds, but I didn't. I know I should be feeling the cold wind against my skin, but I didn't. I didn't feel anything but the suffocating feeling of her absence.

When they called her name and moved her picture to the front I could hear Janine's wails. It was almost as loud as Lissa's. She had been loved by many, but I couldn't join them up there, because people will think of our love as inappropriate. As I looked at the two women in front crying for Rose I resented them greatly. I wish I could tell the world I loved her, that she was mine and I was hers. I wish I could sit with Lissa and tell her it would be alright. That I would still be her Guardian, because that is what Rose would have wanted. And it would have been. Rose would want Lissa protected above all else.

But I couldn't. I couldn't pretend that everything was going to be okay and protect Lissa. Lissa took too much from Rose. She hadn't had her own life, because she was always taking care of Lissa. It was Lissa's darkness that had pushed her in a life of fighting Strigoi. It was Lissa's darkness that made her believe she could save me. If it wasn't for that darkness Janine and Stan would have been able to stop her, and I would be the one with the picture up there. If it wasn't for Lissa, Rose would still be alive. And now she is not. Janine wasn't much better. She hadn't seen her daughter in a long time. She had abandoned her and now she would never have a change to get to know her.

I was shaking with rage towards the two women at the front. But then I let my fist deflate in shame, because I knew who was really to blame for her death. Me. She had come back for me. If I had stayed professional, she wouldn't have come after me. I knew that was a lie. Rose would have taken any opportunity to save someone, even if it meant she would die. But I couldn't shake the idea that I was to blame. Just like I couldn't shake the feeling that Lissa was to blame or Eddie or anybody. Any reason to explain why she was gone.

I was about to walk away when I saw Janine bury her face in the arms of a man I had never seen on campus, but I had known all my life. Even from the awkward angle I was seeing him at, I could clearly make out the features of Abe Mazur. He was holding Janine and looking to the right to Rose's picture. I had never seen Abe Mazur emotional, and although I wouldn't call him emotional perce right now, he showed a lot more than usual. I wondered why he was here? And then it hit me. Rose. He was here for Rose, because he had lost her too. Suddenly the resemblance between father and daughter was unmistakable and I wondered how I hadn't figured it out the moment I met Rose.

Great another person that did not know her, did not love her the way I did, but was able to mourn her openly. He had been absent from her life and yet he was at the front whereas I would never be recognized as anything other than her mentor. He hadn't even known her. She hadn't even known him, although that last part may have been for the best.

I walked away and back towards my room, trying very hard not to let my own guilt or resentment for those people on the first row take the better of me. I walked inside but it felt empty, it had nothing to do with the spartan living conditions of a Guardian. I just didn't feel like I belonged here anymore. I couldn't stay here, with all those people. They could cry all they wanted, they could mourn her. But I would save her. It was the only thought that kept me going, knowing I can do something for her, that none of them can. I could save her. I could set her free.

I started to pack my meager belongings. I grabbed a duffel bag out of the closet and started to fill it up. I didn't know how long it would take, but I knew I wouldn't be back here soon. If I would come back here at all. I knew what this meant. This meant desertion. I had heard of a Guardian that left to hunt down his lover turned Strigoi, he is still on desk duty at Court. He had been gone for several months, but he had failed. I wouldn't fail.

With a steely determination I walked out. I left a note on my desk with a single word on it for Alberta. It read Sorry. Sorry that I couldn't stay and protect Rose's friends for her. Sorry I had her killed. Sorry I won't be returning here.

I was just at the door when Adrian showed up. He was standing against the doorpost, a cigarette in his hand. I hated the smell of his clove cigarettes. He didn't look at me.

"Where are you going?"

I sighed exasperated.

"You know where I am going."

He looked to the ground. He did know. He knew I couldn't let her stay a Strigoi.

"And after?"

I laughed humorlessly, was there going to be an after? I knew I didn't want to return here. I knew I didn't want a menial job at court, I would go insane, and I knew I didn't want to live without Rose. Everytime I tried to think about what I would do after I had set her free, I could only come up with one conclusion.

"We were never meant to be apart, in life or in death. Besides, I am deserting, there is no coming back after that."

Adrian was looking at me intently, I think he was reading my aura. He knew I was serious. I just didn't know if there would be anything left of me after I had killed Rose.

"Alright then, I am coming with you."

I looked at him strangely. It was then that I saw the bag next to him. Did he really think I would take him with me? He would be a liability.

"No, you are not. It is way too dangerous."

"I don't care. You aren't the only one who loved her. I know it wasn't the same. I saw you when you heard she had died. I saw you die with her. I am devastated she is gone, but I know I will survive eventually. But you… I can see now how much you loved her… but I loved her too and I am going to do for her, the only thing I know I can do for her.""

"I am going to kill her Adrian. How are you going to help me do that?"

He shook his head.

"Setting her free is your task. I know I can't help with that. But I know she didn't want this life for you. So I am going to help you. I have had you reassigned to me. I was so distraught by what happened that I needed to get away and I needed a capable Guardian by my side. We can go off the grid under the disguise of my grief. You will still have a job when this is all over… You can save her… but let me save you."

I just looked at him. It would solve a lot of problems. The most immediate being transportation and money.

"Fine, but I am not your babysitter. If it comes down to getting information and setting Rose free or protecting you, I will let you die, without blinking. You understand?"

He nodded. But I had already packed my bag and was on the way to the parking lot. Having him as my charge meant I would be able to get a car. I was already starting the engine when Adrian was opening the door on the passenger side.

"So where do we start? How are we going to find her?"

I drove out of the parking lot and through the gates. I looked in the rearview mirror, leaving behind the place that had meant so much to me, where I had fallen in love against all odds. But right now I had to leave those memories at the gate and focus on the task at hand.

"I plan on torturing every single Strigoi between here and the end of the world until I find her."