updated 22-11-2020 ( this is the second chapter I have updated. a few days ago I updated chapter 28, I am not sure if I will do all of them, but it is fun to write again)

and sorry if people are getting notifications for chapter 50. something with the order in which I tried to update this chapter, makes the links go al wrong. If I just update, you won't get a notification. if I delete the old chapter and upload the new one, it appears as the last chapter and I have to reorganize the order, but the link is already send out as the last chapter. If anyone has any idea on how to solve this, let me know. I will be trying some other things, so if you get a lot of notifications, sorry. ;)

Chapter 29:

DPOV

"You need help with that?"

It was testimony to how long we had been going at it for an Alchemist to ask if she could help treat my wounds.

Sydney was a young Alchemist and she had been working with us for four months. I had kept my promise and I had tortured every Strigoi on the west coast. The trail seemed to be heading down towards the south, but the pattern was erratic. The trail of bodies I left behind meant I had to call Alchemists regularly. After a few weeks, they had put Sydney on our case permanently and we had direct communications with her to make the process more efficient.

At first she had been terrified. All Alchemists were. They do their jobs, but they stay as far away from us as possible. I don't remember any of them coming within six feet of me, and it had nothing to do with me being a giant. Well maybe it did have a little bit to do with that.

Sydney had been the same. She was professional but weary at first. She was hesitant with me, but she was downright terrified of Adrian. After all he was a real vampire. Most Alchemists never see a Moroi. But it had taken Adrian only opening his mouth for all that fear to dissipate. When she realized Adrian was an absolute idiot, she started to relax. Over time she had come to talk to us like we were actual human beings. Case in point being her offer to help stitch me up.

"No I got it."

She rolled her eyes as I struggled to stitch the deep cup on my shoulder. Adrian had healed me on more than one occasion, but for small wounds I preferred the normal healing process. I told myself it was to preserve Adrian's spirit. I didn't want to exhaust him, but I knew I liked the pain, because for a few moments I felt something else than the ever present feeling of her absence.

"Don't you ever learn Sage, he doesn't want your help. I, on the other hand, can find some good uses for your hands." He said and wiggled his eyebrows for good measure.

She rolled her eyes again. As she was used to my stoic refusal for help, she was used to Adrians innuendo's. But I could see the small pull on her lips. She didn't mind. She found him amusing.

"All done. The wind will take care of the rest. If you keep this up Guardian Belikov, I am going to run out of chemicals."

I had indeed killed a few tonight, and the night before and the night before that. But still no Rose. The best we got was a few Strigoi who had been in the raid, or who had heard from someone who had been in the raid. But nobody seemed to know Rose.

"Thanks Sydney." it was as much a dismallal as it was a thank you. I started to slowly walk back to my car. The amount of bruising on my body was starting to slow me down.

Adrian said a quick goodbye to Sydney before following me to the car.

"Why don't you let me drive tonight." honestly I was too tired to argue. Adrian looked at me funny, but he got into the car and drove to the hotel.

I was able to keep it together long enough to make it into our suite, but when I sat down in the chair my exhaustion started to catch up with me.

Adrian grabbed a couple of shot glasses and started to pour himself one. He offered me the other, I always decline, but I was staring at it now.

"Come on Dimitri, I know you want to. Why don't you let loose a little. You don't have to pretend with me."

And I didn't have to pretend with him. Over the past few months, Adrian and I had become something else than what we were. 'Friends' wasn't quite the word, more confidants. He was there for all my breakdowns and I was there for his. He meant what he said. He loved her too. I had thought she was just an infatuation for him. Like all other girls were. But I should have known. Rose was special. Not just to me. And he had proved it.

"It isn't that I don't want the drink. It is that I do… too much."

Adrian actually scoffed. "You can hold your liquor, Dimitri, I have seen you. You actually beat me."

"When I am in complete control and I drink for fun or to beat a punk eyeing my girl yeah… but it looks too good right now. I don't want to feel this way anymore Adrian. I am tired of hurting and I am tired of fighting. It would be so easy to drown myself in that Vodka, to just stop feeling for a few hours. You even got the good kind. " My hands were itching, they were rubbing up and down my pants, just to keep busy. How easy indeed it would be to numb myself using alcohol. But I would rather feel every bruise and every broken bone, before I would become him.

"Why Dimitri? Why is drowning so bad."

"Because I won't become him. I won't use alcohol to numb myself."

I was surprised at my own admission. I knew why I didn't want the drink, I just didn't think I would tell Adrian. But I suppose we had come far in these last few months.

"So that is it. I always wondered where all your control came from. Because I can tell, you know. I can see your aura. I can see you blazing with emotions even when you don't give anything away. But you have this need to control everything, because if you don't you might unleash yourself… there is only one person in your life that can leave you with that kind of trauma… Daddy issues, am I right."

I nodded. Of course Adrian knew. Adrian could see the real me. I couldn't hide from him. Maybe I didn't want to anymore. It was oddly freeing.

"My father was a real piece of shit. He would come around every so often and leave his mark. I have never seen the man sober. It seemed to intensify his rage and it was all directed at my mother. And he would always blame it on the alcohol, but he would never quit. When I was thirteen he nearly killed her. So I kicked him out and he never came back. But it doesn't matter. He is still here. Even if I know he is in some fancy hotel room getting drunk somewhere, he is still here." I said pointing at myself.

And he was. He was always in my head, fueling my decisions. I will never use alcohol as a coping mechanism. If I did I was afraid I couldn't stop. I knew I wasn't my father. I knew I could make my own decisions. But I was always afraid that whatever had driven him to alcohol and violence was in me too. What if I was too weak, like him?

"Fathers tend to do that." He sounded experienced. I knew Adrian probably had a similar problem. His father was always in his head, disapproving of him. He had spoken on the phone with him a few times over the last few months and it always ended badly.

Adrian emptied his vodka in one go. He looked at his glass and then back to me.

"Is that why you disliked me? Because I was a blatant drunk, like him?"

I scoffed. Adrian was a lot of things, but he was a good man. I knew that from the start.

"No. I don't like people getting drunk, it always puts me on edge, but I learned very quickly what kind of drunk you were. You have never become violent in all the times I have seen you drink. I know I don't have to worry about you. I didn't like you, because you were looking at Rose like she was your next meal."

He chuckled. "But you worry about yourself? If I recall you could hold your liquor pretty well. And you were more of a silly drunk."

It was true. I had never been that drunk before. I had trained to hold my Vodka, to make sure I never ended up as my Dad, but boy, can Adrian drink. So why was I so worried now? How much could have changed in a few months. But I knew. I knew why I couldn't risk it. Because I might like it too much. I might like the numbing feeling over the constant pain. It was a slippery slope and I wouldn't put myself on it.

"So I was thinking of maybe staying here a few days. Maybe we can rest before we move on. You have to heal and this place is nice enough." As tempting as that was, I couldn't, the trail was already starting to cool down. Soon all Strigoi from the raid would be scattered across the world, and it could take years to find her, if I found her at all.

Adrian saw my hesitation. "Two days. And you sleep most of it. Then we can move on."

"Can't, this place isn't warded. I have to stay on guard during the night."

"But it is early morning now. The sun is just about to rise. Now we sleep and tonight we will figure something out. You can't keep this up Dimitri. You can't beat up all those Strigoi and Guard me all the time. I am ok. I can take care of myself. Sleep."

I had told Adrian I wasn't his babysitter. Being his Guardian was just a cover for me to get money and resources to get what I wanted. But I still couldn't help it. I needed him to be safe.

He was my only tether to the world. I hadn't talked to my mother in those four months. I had a few calls from Alberta, but always let them go to voicemail. He was the only person I saw besides Sydney. I knew if I lost Adrian, I would truly be lost. Strange how a few months can really change a situation. It is why a few weeks ago I let him feed off of me. Usually we were able get to feeders. Adrian might be off the grid, but he also had money. So a few hundred dollar bills and a fake name and he could visit every feeder house on the way. But it had been more than a week and we were in no position to get to a feeder. I had never been bitten before, but the rush of endorphins and the slight respite from the pain of losing Rose left me almost euphoric. It is also why I made sure we weren't far from feeders everywhere we went now. Anything to stay in control.

But I think today I would take him up on his offer to look out for himself. It was daytime after all. I laid down on the bed and slowly started to drift off.

When Adrian woke up just after the sun had gone down I was already studying maps at the table. I had had a solid six hours of sleep, so I was well rested. Adrian usually wanted north of eight hours before he was up and running again.

I tried very hard to ignore the tightening of my chest as I remembered that Rose too liked to sleep in. But it wasn't surprising. I recognized Rose in everything. In the smallest details I would see her. After all she was my life, why wouldn't I see her everywhere.

"What are you doing?" He said as he was rubbing his eyes and pulling on a shirt.

"Studying the map of the area. Strigoi would most likely be in this area. There is an abandoned warehouse on the edge of town here. I think we should start there."

I think the people in the next suite heard Adrian's large and deep sigh.

"I thought we were getting some rest, before we went out again. You aren't even healed yet from yesterday, or the day before, or the day before that."

"I have rested. And I am fine. But if we wait too long we will lose any chance of ever finding Rose."

Again, the deep sigh.

"You say that every night."

"And every night it becomes more true. We will eat something, rest here for the night and then in the early morning we can go hunt some Strigoi."

Adrian looked at me intently. I swear he was contemplating compelling me another day of rest, but then he closed his eyes and shook his head. He started to look for the room service menu and started listing things we could eat.

Just before dawn we were in the car towards the warehouse. I hoped to do a little recon while the Strigoi were up and about. Then when it was light out, I would go in and ask them nicely if they had seen Rose.

So Adrian and I sat in the car staking out the place, we had been here for two hours but we hadn't seen anything yet. It was an industrial warehouse, but bordered on the forest behind it. It was a smart place for Strigoi to hide. I was counting on it. I was getting impatient and I needed to find Rose soon.

"I am going in."

"It isn't light out yet. We don't know if there are Strigoi in there and how many."

It should have been my first clue that I was being rash, Adrian was commenting on my strategy and had I not been so eager to find Rose I would have listened.

"I am just going in to take a look. Odds are there aren't even Strigoi there. And I don't want to waste time on this if there aren't any."

"And if there are?"

"I know how to take care of Strigoi, Adrian."

I left Adrian in the car and walked towards the entrance. I wasn't in the mood to placate Adrian. I knew he was worried. He was always worried. But I would not back down. Not for a few cuts and bruises. I have had worse.

I entered carefully. Despite my size, I knew how to be silent. I checked the first room, but nothing. Second room, nothing. I moved towards a large open area and heard voices. The cruelty in a Strigoi's voice was a dead give away. Somehow their lack of humanity penetrated every piece of them. Then their voices were silent, but replaced with another sound even more evil. I knew the sound of feeding by now. And Strigoi were messy eaters. I also knew it was more than one, probably two. I could handle two.

It was always a struggle dealing with two. And as Adrian mentioned, I wasn't in peak condition at the moment. But I can handle two. I had to, to find Rose.

I grabbed my stake from my duster. I gripped it tightly. I entered by opening the double doors leading into the large room. I had three very surprised Strigoi stop their feeding. But their momentary rage was quickly replaced with more hunger as they took in my Dhampir physique.

Damn three. It was rare for Strigoi to stay in large groups. One was common, two wasn't rare but three was a lot. I wasn't prepared for three. It wasn't light out yet. If I ran I would lead them back to the car, to Adrian. Besides they would catch me before I reached the car. I had to survive and I had to ask them about Rose.

So I readied my stake and went to work.

"I am looking for a newly turned Strigoi, she was turned in the Saint Vladimir raid. Dark hair, dark eyes, beautiful. Her name is Rose."

Two of them looked like I was crazy, they were young, I could tell, they were only focused on feeding now. But the third had recognition flash in his eyes. He knew Rose. I had to get rid of the young ones quickly.

I launched at one of them, my speed took him by surprise. He clearly hadn't seen a Dhampir fight before. Former human by the looks of it. Which was in my favour. The older one that recognized Rose was former Moroi. It was a bit of luck that I hadn't encountered an ex-guardian. Although rare among Strigoi, they were the strongest among them. With Strigoi strength and speed and Dhampir guardian training they were a tough opponent.

My mind switched to Rose, Rose would be one of those strong Strigoi. Would I be able to defeat her? When she was a Dhampir we were quite evenly matched. If I found her, would I be able to set her free?

My momentary distraction cost me a blow to the head. I recovered quickly and kicked him in the stomach. He fell backwards. I was down by his side in an instant with a stake in his heart. One down two to go.

Now luckily Strigoi didn't really come to each other's aid. They lacked cooperation to fight simultaneously and usually they enjoyed the blood sport too much to intervene.

So I could take them on one by one. The second Strigoi attacked me. This one was more coordinated than the last. I knew I could take him. That wasn't the problem. I also needed to preserve enough energy not only to take the last one on, but to keep him subdued long enough to question him about Rose. I knew it wasn't going to be easy, probably I was going to die, if I didn't kill them both quickly. But I was so close to finding Rose, this might be my one chance, so after I had taken down the second one, I tried to subdue the third instead of killing him.

I think if I had fought to kill him, I would have been fine. Well, maybe not fine, but I would have survived. After all, I was a highly trained guardian. But the thing is, we were trained to kill, not to subdue or interrogate. So it was costing me more energy to try and hold back while I was fighting him.

He kicked my against the back door and it flew open with me flying with it. The door was busted and so was I as I landed in the grass near a tree at the back of the compound. The motion had broken a few ribs and I was struggling to breath. Probably a collapsed lung.

The Strigoi was stepping outside. It was still a bit before dawn. Maybe if I could last a few more minutes? Make a run for it? But before I could figure out a plan, the Strigoi was one me. I tried to break free of his hold, but I couldn't. I didn't have anything left. The Strigoi was crushing me under his power and I cried in agony.

"To bad you won't see her again, she sure is a feisty one. She fitted right in. I think she is in Las Vegas now. To bad you won't be able to do much with that information."

He sank his teeth into my neck and I my cries of pain stopped. It was weird. His fangs in my neck felt pleasant. The endorphins flooding my system were making the transition to the other world easier. My surroundings got darker and darker. I thought it was strange because shouldn't they become lighter now that the sun was coming up?

It wasn't long before the world fell away completely.

Panic. Heat, cold. Panic. Tired. All those emotions were flashing through me and as I looked down at the bloody mess on the ground. My hands were on someone's chest, they were just sitting there, they weren't performing CPR or anything. Why? I had CPR training as a Guardian. I wiped away some sweat from my brow and ran it through my hair. It was shorter than it used to be. Why?

I got disoriented and took a big gasp of breath. It was easier to breathe now. My ribs felt fine and my punctured lung was gone. As I breathed in and out I could smell the pine from the forest behind us and the oil from inside the compound. Everything seemed brighter than it had yesterday. I could see the sun in the distance and it was beautiful. I was still alive and for the first time in four months, that felt like a good thing.

I slowly got up. Adrian was sitting next to me. He looked exhausted, but very very relieved.

I looked around to see where the Strigoi was, but all I could see was a scorched piece of grass

a few meters away.

"What happened?... Did you do that Adrian.?"

Adrian leaned back with his hands on the grass. It seemed he would keel over if he didn't support himself.

"Well somebody had to rescue your sorry ass. Tell me you at least got something useful?"

The biggest smile came across my face. "She is in Las Vegas."

Adrian now too had a big grin on his face.

"Well I better call cleanup."

He took his phone and called Sydney. I felt a weird flutter in my chest when Adrian was talking to Sydney. I recognized it, I had felt something similar when I would think of Rose in the first few weeks we had known each other. But why was I feeling it with Sydney? I looked over to Adrian, and he had the biggest grin on his face.

I wasn't feeling it. He was.

I let the shock wash over me as Adrian finished telling Sydney were we were.

"Adrian… how much did you heal me. How bad was it?" I asked already knowing the answer. The weird orientation, the shorter hair. Hell the softer hands going through the hair. I had been in Adrians head.

He shrugged. "You were pretty bead up. For a moment I thought I had lost you. But you are one stubborn bastard."

No, I wasn't.

"Adrian. Look at my aura."

"I am a little worn out here Dimitri."

"Goddamn it Adrian, check my aura!"

He squinted his eyes at me and I felt myself being pulled into his head. The sensation was weird. I was looking at myself through Adrians eyes. I could see several colors swirl around me including a small but distinct rim of black. Adrian stopped looking at my aura and I returned to my own head and body.

Adrian fell backwards in the grass and I joined him.

"Fuck." was the only word he could muster. Yes this wasn't good. Being bonded to Adrian was not something I looked forward to, but it did beat the alternative.

"Thanks. I know this isn't something either of us wanted, but thanks."

"Are you sure you want to thank me?"

I thought about it long and hard, just after we left Saint Vladimir I didn't want to be alive anymore. I didn't want to exist at all. But the moment Adrian had brought me back I was grateful he had. I might regret that later but I was grateful.

"Yes Adrian. I am happy to be alive. Not just because I have unfinished business, but just to be alive."

He laughed a little. "Well good on you. Being bonded to me is better than being dead. How far we have come haven't we."

Yes, yes we did.

We laid like that a for a while, neither of us really being able to get up, just staring at the sky, seeing it turn from dark to pink to blue.

"Where are you. Adrian, Dimitri? Where are you?" It was Sydneys voice and she actually sounded worried. Adrian noticed it too and that flutter went through both of us again.

We really needed to have a conversation about that.

"Here." I shouted. I sounded hoarse and exhausted, but Adrian looked worse.

When Sydney rounded the corner she quickly moved towards Adrian. Hmm… maybe this wasn't one sided.

"Are you ok?" The question wasn't directed at both of us, just to Adrian.

"Yeah, i am fine. Big oef over there decided three Strigoi were a walk in the park. He got… hurt badly. I am just exhausted from healing him."

It had taken Sydney a little bit of time to get used to Adrian healing me in the field. I don't think Sydney had ever seen Moroi magic let alone Spirit magic. But now she was used to it more and she knew how much it cost Adrian. If only she knew how much he had to heal me.

She actually punched me in the arm. It did kind of hurt. "When is enough enough Dimitri. Had you gotten yourself killed what would have happened to Adrian? And all this healing he is doing isn't healthy for him and you know that."

She was scolding me, me a guardian. I smirked. She wasn't even realizing she was coming to Adrians aid. Adrian on the other hand was over the moon by Sydney's reaction.

"Yeah Dimitri, you should appreciate me more."

Oh I am sure I will appreciate him plenty from now on. I just growled at Adrian. He laughed but it sounded flat. He really was exhausted.

"I'll get you to the car, then I can clean up. So there were three Strigoi. I'll put it in the report you killen another three Strigoi."

My back was getting pretty full. I wasn't claiming every Strigoi kill I did, because the numbers would be too high and I would get a lot of questions as to why I was endangering Adrian by going Strigoi hunting. But I claimed just enough so we could explain it as chance encounters. Adrian would normally spend a lot of time in places it was logical for Strigoi to hunt. Clubs and stuff. Since he wanted a break from his normal Moroi scene he was now visiting a lot of human establishments with a higher risk of Strigoi. Or at least that was the story.

"Actually put me down for two, the other one Adrian killed."

She looked at Adrian in shock then back at me.

"You let Adrian near a Strigoi?" I just groaned.

"Hey do I get a molnija now too?" Adrian asked me

"No." That wasn't a good idea. It would indeed let people know Adrian was too close to a Strigoi to kill it. Besides Christian hadn't gotten molnija after the raid on the school. Maybe it was something to consider if Moroi did start to fight with us more.

"Just as well, I suppose. I wouldn't want to mar perfection."

Sydney sighed. "Come on, I'll get your 'perfect' ass back to the car."

"Ahh Sage, I knew you would come around."

Back at the hotel Adrian could only fall onto his bed. It took everything he had to just walk up the stairs, being supported by Sydney and myself. Although I was tired, coming back from the dead will do that to you, Adrian had healed almost all my injuries, so I was in good shape.

"So was it worth it, did you at least get some information?" Sydney asked as Adrian was loudly snoring in his bed.

"I did, she is in Las Vegas."