DPOV

The chains were a nuisance, but I was able to sleep. I could go a few days without sleep if I had to, but I think I already had been. Being unconscious for a couple days wasn't exactly sleeping. I didn't really feel safe sleeping in a place like this, but I had little choice. Besides, Rose had made it clear she didn't want me dead. Well, she didn't want me to stay dead.

I don't know what scared me more, dying in this place where nobody would ever find my body, or whatever was left of it once those Strigoi were done with me. Or turning. There was something appealing about turning. She was right. It was the only way we could be together. Certainly now. There was no future with Rose as Strigoi and me as Dhampir. I wasn't that stupid to think that. But I knew I could never do it. I could never turn. Not even for her.

But the other side of it was that I had to kill Rose and I didn't know if I could do that either. It had been my mission for the past few months, but part of me didn't want to find Rose, because I knew killing her would be difficult.

And then there was the matter of me being chained to a bed, in a cell somewhere in a building full of Strigoi. If I wanted to get out of here. If I wanted to live, hell even if I wanted to kill Rose I would need to find a way out first. And my mind was coming up blank.

The door opened and Rose walked in. "Good morning Dimitri."

"Is it really morning?" I asked. I didn't know where I was, so maybe Rose would give me some information, willingly or unwillingly.

"It is. It is why I can be here with you. We have business to take care of here at night. But during the day we mostly have to wait it out. So I spend it here with you."

She crawled onto the bed. She moved towards me like a predator towards their prey. There was something very Rose and not-Rose about it at the same time.

"What kind of business?" I asked, trying not to feel something by her advances.

She looked at me shrewdly.

"Do you really want to know, Comrade? I am not sure you have to stomach for it. At least not yet."

I didn't want to know. I didn't want to know that Strigoi were more than mindless beasts, that there were people in this world that did have a soul but were still involved in business with Strigoi for the money. And most of all I didn't want to know that Rose had any part of it. But I needed some information. Maybe if I figured out what kind of business I could narrow down where I was.

"If I am going to be part of it, I want to know what I am going to be a part of."

She raised her eyebrow. She knew I wasn't ready to turn. But I hoped it wouldn't deter her from explaining as much as she could.

"Last night I was a guard on a shipment coming in. We were the hired help. There aren't any better guards then people who can't die."

"What kind of shipment? Drugs?"

"People. Mostly prostitutes from human trafficking networks, which is why they prefer me. They think a woman won't help herself to them. That they will be safe until they reach the casino."

Casino. So it was human trafficking in Las Vegas. We hadn't left the city yet. Good.

"Were they safe with you?"

She looked at me and raised an eyebrow.

"You want to ask me if I helped myself to them, Comrade?"

She found it amusing. She believed I asked about if she had violated the women. Maybe she did, or at least wanted them. I wondered how different those desires were in Rose. How much she was led by the animal instinct of the Strigoi. But I knew another instinct would be way stronger.

"Not like that. Did you feed off of them? Do the traffickers even know what you are."

She shrugged.

"I only took a bit to last me the night. And I hit it well. They didn't seem to complain about it much. And no, most humans we have dealings with don't know the full extent of our power or its source. They just know that we have quality warriors and they pay well."

There was an entire organisation made up of Strigoi here. I wondered how many were here. And who was in charge. I also wondered how many male Strigoi were here and if she had given in into some of the other instincts she had.

I shifted a little bit on the bed. I didn't want to feel this way. This protective, this jealous.

She noticed my movement and smiled, leaning in a little closer.

"Oh Dimitri. What is wrong? Are you thinking of how and maybe... where I bit those girls?"

She assumed I was worked up about the girls. And dammit now I was. Now I was imagining her on the inside of their legs taking a small sip, the girls in ecstasy. My emotions and my desires were all over the place. She was messing with them all.

"I did have a little fun with them. I actually gave them pleasure with my bite. That is more than will ever be said about the men they will have as clients. I take pride in that."

She moved closer to me. She put one leg over mine, moving it up and down. I hissed.

"I could do the same to you? Have you never wondered what it was like? To feel the euphoria when the endorphins hit?"

I had seen Ivan feed from humans. I had seen their eyes roll in the back of their head because of it. But it always felt empty to me. Another drug to numb their own life. I would never let anyone bite me and make me weak for a high. I knew Rose felt differently, she had confessed to me once that she had this irrational jealousy when Lissa fed from a feeder. She had fed Lissa when they had been on the road. She knew the effect of the endorphins and what it did to her.

"I haven't."

"Liar. there isn't a dhampir that hasn't."

She closed in on me. Her breath was hot on my neck. I could feel her fangs scraping against my skin. I rattled the chains, trying hard to get free. But I knew it was in vain.

"I want to taste you Dimitri. I never wanted anything more."

I wanted to argue. But my protests died on my lips as she pierced my skin. First I felt pain as she broke my skin, but then the endorphins flooded my system and I was lost. The feeling was amazing. I didn't feel the ache of the chains on my hands, I didn't feel the wound on my neck. I didn't even feel the loss of Rose right now, because I could feel her right here with me. For the first time in a long time, I could feel at peace and forget everything that has happened.

She pulled back all too soon. I barely saw her get up from the bed. She gently kissed my lips as she left but I was too high to respond. I didn't need to. My grin would let her know how I felt.

The high faded all too soon, and with it my peace left me. I felt oddly cold. I knew it had nothing to do with my blood loss, she really hadn't taken much. I wanted to call out to her. I wanted her back here, to ease my pain. But my internal screams only produced a silent whisper.

I needed this pain. It is what kept me from turning. If I gave in, if I gave into her, I knew I would never get out of here alive.

But it was torture waiting for Rose to return. She was gone most of the night and would only visit me during the day. It is how I kept track of the days. This was day four now, at least of me being awake. So all in all I had been here a week. I didn't know the time exactly but it was somewhere midmorning. Usually she would come visit me around this time.

As if my thoughts had summoned her, I heard to lock on the door open. I smelled her before I saw her. I got a good whiff of her jasmine shampoo and bodywash. It was funny how different she now was yet some things were still the same.

She walked in and my heart rate increased at the sight of her. It had always done that, but I was afraid this time it had a different source. I remember the last time she was here. I remember her bite. More importantly my body remembered. After one hit my body was conditioned to want it. And I hated it for it.

"I brought you some food. You have to eat to keep your strength up."

"For what exactly?"

I don't think the state my body was in, had any influence on my turning process. She could emaciate me and I would still be a strong Strigoi once I was turned.

I saw her thinking about my question. Realizing that indeed I didn't need to keep my strength up for her plan to work. It would probably help to starve me. She tapped a finger to her lips.

"I am not done with you yet. It would be a shame if you passed out on me when I was having my way with you."

She wiggled her eyebrows and laughed. The comment was so Rose it hurt. She was so close, yet so far away.

"So this is fun for you?"

She nodded as she untied me so I could eat.

"Before I found you, I was bored out of my mind during the daylight hours. You know I could never sit still. I need to be active. I miss sleep. Twenty four hours in a day is actually not that fun. But that will all change when you turn. We can spend that time together."

I remember well how impatient Rose was. I imagine having a window of 8 hours everyday to fill would be hard for her.

"What did you do before I was here." The moment the words left my mouth I regretted it. Because I imagined what Rose could do in those hours. There were a lot of Strigoi in this compound. I am sure they all faced the same problem. And probably had thought of the same solution. I growled imagining Rose spending it with someone else.

She tilted her head. She looked at me and smiled. She knew where my thoughts had gone. She always did.

"Get your mind out of the gutter please. I train. Like I always have."

I let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding. I didn't know why it mattered to me. It shouldn't matter to me, but it did.

"Not that they didn't offer. Some even demanded." A wicked smile came across her lips. The cruelty in her eyes magnified. It was ablaze with a rage I didn't know she had in her.

"Those are dead now, ripped to pieces. After a while they knew to leave me alone. They figured I would come to them if I needed their services"

"Why, why wouldn't you spend it with other Strigoi?" I didn't think I wanted to know. No good could come from my question. The words I wanted to hear would never leave her lips as a Strigoi. But I asked the question anyway.

She looked down at her hands first then back at me. There was something gentle in her eyes that hadn't been there a moment ago. She closed in on me. I could practically see the red around her eyes dim. She put a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Because who could ever compare to you?"

My breath hitched in my chest. Why was she making this so hard on me. One minute she was a cruel Strigoi talking about ripping apart anyone she had a disagreement with, and the next she was looking at me with all the love she used to have for me. What was I to believe?

She looked at me expectantly. She was waiting for me to make my move. She wanted me. I could tell, but I could also see she wanted me to want her. Of course I did. I would until the day I died. But would I want this version of her? I could see she was waiting for me to reject her. But I couldn't. The Rose I saw a moment ago that ripped suitors to shreds I had no problem rejecting but this one. I just couldn't.

I grabbed the sides of her face and brought her closer. I closed my eyes and I kissed her. I felt her relax under my touch. She moulded into my body. She grabbed my shirt and I could feel her hold on for dear life.

She eventually broke the kiss. I looked into her eyes and I could see the brown color of her eyes dominate. Was it just me or was her skin warmer and not as pale as it had been a moment ago. She retreated almost shocked at my reaction. But the further away from me she went the colder she seemed to become, and just like that the red around her eyes was bright again.

She growled and pushed herself from the bed. She stormed out.

I sat there on the bed, wandering what the hell happened. I had felt Rose so close to the surface, the moment she realized it too, she shut down and all I could see was the Strigoi that had inhabited her. Was this what it was like for all Strigoi. I always believed that when they were turned the monster inhabited their body but they themselves were gone. Dead. But maybe they were trapped. Always fighting with the Strigoi for control. No one had even mentioned anything like that, but then again our encounters with Strigoi were usually short lived. But maybe Rose was special, because she was shadow kissed?

These thoughts plagued me the entire day. But eventually I fell asleep.

I drifted off into nothingness and I was grateful for the rest. There was no right answer and my thoughts were going around in circles. But when a visitor appeared in my dream I knew I wouldn't get the rest I wanted. Adrian stood in front of me, and he looked visibly relieved to see me.

"Oh thank God, I have been worried sick."

Did he know how much he sounded like my mother?

"I am fine." I may have said it a little harsly.

He crossed his arms over his chest.

"Well, where are you, what happened?"

I didn't know if I should tell him the truth. Maybe it was easier to believe I needed space then for him to know where I was. It wasn't like he could help me. But then again, Adrian could see right through me. And he deserved the truth. I wasn't the only one who gave up everything to find her.

"I found Rose, she is here with me."

He looked shocked.

"Is she alive? Your aura is lighter than it has been for a long time."

I hesitated. No she wasn't alive, but she wasn't exactly dead either. When I first learned she had been turned. I believed Rose to be dead and a monster was simply occupying her body. But that wasn't the case. But how could I explain that to him?

"Sort of. I don't care about what she is now."

I could see the hope in Adrian's eyes go away as I confirm her current state to him.

"Dimitri you know it isn't her right. The Rose you knew doesn't exist anymore, that is the whole reason we were on this damn quest."

I got angry. How dare he. He didn't understand. I could feel some of my Rose seep through so every now and then. How was I supposed to let that go? It was almost as if I could touch her but she was just out of reach. I felt her tug at my heart but there was a barrier between us. But still I would rather have those small little moments where I could pretend I still had my Roza with me.

But he didn't understand that, how could he. How could he possibly know how much she was a part of me. And how scared I was to let that go. He didn't understand how scared I was of the person I would become without her. I felt a rage build up inside of me, one that at the moment could only be directed towards one person.

"You still can't stand the fact that she loves me, that she chose me. You would try and do anything to get between us. This is as happy as I have been in the last four months and you are not going to ruin it. Just because you saved my life doesn't mean you get to dictate it."

He was taken aback by my outburst. He had a sad look on his face. He pitied me.

"I wasn't trying to ruin your happiness. I was trying to do, what I have been trying to do from the start. Save your life. But I guess at some point I have to accept that you don't want to be saved."

Maybe I didn't, maybe it would be better if Rose and I burned together. As if reading my mind he responded.

He threw his hands in the air in defeat, then pointed towards the empty space behind me.

"That is not her, Dimitri, and you know it. And if you don't get out now and kill her, you will die. She will kill you. You can't hold on forever."

With that he left the dream and I woke up. His words were nagging at me. I wanted Rose, needed Rose, I didn't know if I could leave her, if I could kill her.

If Adrian had been here with me, he would see what I saw. He would see that Rose was still in there somewhere.

Rose came in with a plate and she smiled the dazzling smile. But it had lost some of its appeal. The red in her eyes was so bright tonight, I wondered if I had imagined the whole thing. How much had it been my own mind playing tricks on me. I had been in here for a week. I had been suspended from the ceiling for a few days, I had been fed off, on top of the giant clusterfuck that had been the last few months, maybe I had gone insane. I wouldn't have been the first Guardian.

She sat down next to me on the bed. She handed me the plate and I took it. I was eating when I realized she wasn't eating too. Not that she had in all the days I had been here, but it hit me now that Rose and I would never have a romantic dinner together, her diet not exactly being conducive for a nice time. I would have to turn before Rose and I could enjoy a meal together. The bite I had suddenly became hard to swallow.

I ate in silence while Rose sat next to me and played with my hair and ran her fingers up and down my chest.

"Have you thought anymore about my offer?"

She was excited, almost giddy. I hated to disappoint her but I had to.

"I have, and I am not going to let you turn me Rose. I enjoy what we have here, I don't want to jeopardize that." I lied. I was just at an impasse. I didn't want to turn. I needed to escape. I needed to figure out a way I could kill her. The last part kept me paralyzed to this spot everytime.

She humphed like a little girl. It was almost funny.

"Maybe if I make your time here miserable. Would that help?" Her eyes flashed bright red and I felt a pang of fear. Her tone was playful but I knew full well what she was capable of. But honestly I think it would help. If she was the monster around me all the time, it would make my job a lot easier.

I was thinking about Adrian visiting me. I knew he was right on some level. Even if she was Rose somewhere beneath the surface, did it really matter? It was clear this version was the dominant one. Maybe killing her would indeed free Rose. I didn't want to think about Rose actually being trapped in there for the last four months.

I was done eating and I didn't want to be having this conversation. I needed more time. I needed a way to distract her. So I kissed her. It had always been the way to distract Rose and at least that hadn't changed.

She responded and molded into me. We fell together on the bed with me on top of her. Normally she would take over and end it all too soon, but this time it was different. I didn't want to stop. I knew what I had to do, but I couldn't, not yet. I didn't know how yet. I needed Rose. She seemed to have picked up on my intentions and kissed me vigorously. I could feel my Rose clawing at the surface. I pulled her close against me. Keeping her body close to mine.

Before Rose was turned she would allow me to dominate her. But not this time.

She flipped us over and was straddling me. She took no time in getting her top off. I ran my hands over her exposed skin and I felt her shudder. I was glad to see I still could have that effect on Rose. I pulled her back down again and gripped my fist into her hair, her long soft silky hair. I moaned into her mouth as our lips found each other again. She had one hand in my hair and one was traveling down my chest to the ridge of my hips. She was slowly stroking me through my pants and I relished in the feeling. Next thing I know she unbuttons my pants and pulls them down. I did the same to her although I took my time. I flipped her over and slowly moved my hand from her back down to her ass. She was leaning into my touch enjoying every minute of it. I pulled her pants down and was admiring her beauty. Even with her pale skin Rose was beautiful.

She ripped my boxers off, I hoped she had a spare somewhere and I pulled her panties down and took her bra off. She had enough of me on top and she had me pinned before I knew what hit me. Her hands were pinning mine above my head. Normally she wouldn't be able to keep them there but now she was stronger than me. Her eyes flashed again and I nearly stopped. But then she lowered herself onto me and I was lost.

All rational thoughts went out the window. All doubts were gone. It was just Rose and me, the whole world falling away. She was moving her hips and I joined the rhythm with my own. She let go of my hands and instead placed hers on my chest. I was panting from the exertion. She kissed me but could only do so for a small amount of time before I needed to come up for air. She moved her lips down my collarbone to my neck.

I kept one hand on her hip guiding her and the other went into her hair. I lifted us up and kissed her again. Rose was still straddling me and in this sitting position I was deep inside of her and she was riding me like a cowgirl would ride a horse. I couldn't take it anymore. I knew she was close too. I held on as long as I could. Something in the back of my head saying this was wrong. But the look she was giving me was so warm and loving I didn't want to stop. I didn't ever want to let her go. I could feel her walls clamp down on me and I heard her cry out.

But this is where things deviated from how sex had been for us before. The moment she climaxed she bit down and drank from me. I couldn't hold on any longer. The mixture of pleasure, pain and endorphins was too much. The moment she bit down I released myself inside of her.

It felt like a bucket of ice was dumped on me. This wasn't my Roza anymore. What had I done?

We fell down on the bed and I was still a little loopy. The last time she bit me the bite had left me with a fabricated sense of peace. Now it hadn't. I wouldn't let it. Because just like the happiness from the bite isn't real, neither is this version of Rose. I have been fooling myself. I needed to get out of here. I needed to escape.

She lay on top of me, her head on my chest. I could feel her quick heart rate. The idea of it was strange, her undead state still fueling her heartbeat. She was solely focused on me. This might be my chance.

I didn't have a chance to finish my plans of escape because I was sucked into Adrian's head. This was an emotion I hadn't felt from him before. Pure excitement, he was almost giddy. I saw him looking at an old man.

Looking at the background I could see he was still in Las vegas. I could see the Bellagio in the background. Adrian was focussing on the man's aura. It had a number of colors in it, but one I think explained Adrian's excitement. It was gold.

The gold swirling around the man was beautiful. It was in stark contrast to the darkness I could clearly see around the man. It was almost suffocating the gold.

The man didn't seem to have it all together, no doubt the effect of spirit, but Adrian was excited about the man. It was rare to find another spirit user, so I could understand why Adrian was excited. But the man was also a grim reminder to what Spirit could do. I needed to get back to Adrian. I needed to be there for him, like he had been for me.

I needed to get out of here.

I forced myself back into my own mind. If I was indeed able to escape I could be with Adrian tonight. He could tell me all about the other spirit user.

Rose was still peacefully lying on my chest, oblivious to my experience. I was glad, I didn't need another episode as she had last time when I exhibited bond-related abilities.

I looked down at Rose and from this view I could pretend she was still my Rose. I didn't see her red eyes, I didn't see my blood on her lips. But I could no longer pretend. I was so desperate to hold on to anything of Rose I hadn't wanted to see how different she was. But now I know. Now I knew we could never go back to what we were.

I looked around at what I could use to get away. I hadn't seen Rose lock the door. Probably because then I was still shackled. But I was free now. I needed something to incapacitate Rose, I didn't have my stake here.

The chains. I needed to plan this. I needed to quickly put the chains on Rose and get away. The chains were lying just beside my hands. I didn't even have to reach. I picked them up and in one swift motion I had one of her hands chained. The one that was lazily placed over my chest, wrist just sticking out.

Rose glared at me but was too late to prevent me from clicking on the second one. She was furious by now.

"I am sorry Rose."

I stood up and quickly pulled on my pants and sprinted out the door. I looked back at Rose and I had expected rage. But what I saw almost made me stop and crawl back into bed with her. She was pissed, no doubt but the emotion in her eyes was hurt. I also knew I wasn't going insane. Rose was still in there, but it didn't matter anymore. I would complete my mission and I set her free. I had to, to free us both.

I sprinted down the hall and encountered a Strigoi, the look-out. I evaded him, and knocked him to the ground then looked around the room for anything I could use to fight him. I was grateful, Rose had kept my strength up for her games. But I had to move quickly. I knew the chains wouldn't hold Rose for long.

I was desperate, I had the look-out on my heels. I turned around,maybe there was something in the room. When I saw it my face lit up.

I saw my duster.

Now as much as I love my duster, and as much as I would need it later on when I go outside in nothing but my pants, I picked the duster up for an entirely different reason. It held a backup stake. Although this was Las Vegas so I doubt anyone would really notice a half-naked man running around. I just hoped they simply took the duster off and did not look inside of any of its hidden pockets. Rose must have hung it outside my room to give to me as a gift when I turned. Or she kept it out of sentimental value. Either way, I would greatly improve my survival chance. That is… if it still held my stake. It would be foolish of them to not search my pockets, but my back-up stake was well hidden.

I pulled it on and felt inside. Yes. Some god was definitely looking out for me. The Strigoi that had been on the look-out had caught up with me. I engaged the Strigoi and found him rather easy to stake. They must have put the young one on patrol, seeing as it was a terribly boring job. Their mistake.

I could see the exit and it had a small window. It was daytime. As long as I could make it outside I was safe. I made my way towards the door but something flashed in my way. Rose. She had escaped the chains and was coming after me. I hesitated only for a moment. I engaged her and we fought. It was almost like old times. She knew all my moves and I knew hers. But where I used to be the strong one and she the fast one, she now held both those cards. But I still had height over her.

Kick, punch, block, kick. I knew I couldn't afford to get hurt by her. The impact would debilitate me. So I was on the defensive until I could see an opening. There was something different about Rose's fighting style. Although Rose was never a patient girl, now it showed in her fighting too. As a Dhampir she needed to fight smart. Now she relied on her strength too much. It made her sloppy. It was testimony to her new nature as a Strigoi.

I saw the opening. I pinned her hands down and shoved her against the wall. I lined up my stake to her heart, but stopped only millimeters from her chest. I hesitated. I looked in her eyes and was surprised what I saw in them.

She had a gentle smile on her face. She was accepting her death. Not because she wanted to die, but because she didn't want me to feel guilty. But I couldn't. I couldn't be the one to erase the last piece of Rose that existed in this world. I wanted to set her free, I did, but I couldn't. Not when she is like this. I dropped the stake and fled outside, into the safety of the sun.

I had failed her. The most important staking of my life and I had messed it up.