Chapter 41:

DPOV

Lissa, Christian and Eddie over at Oksana and Mark. Apparently, Christian has asked his aunt to find a hotel for a couple of days so she could cool down. I was grateful. It saved me from yelling at an old friend. Although how much of an old friend she still was I didn't know.

Lissa actually squealed when I dropped her, Christian and Eddie off. I figured she was excited to meet Oksana. Adrian must have talked her up.

Janine stayed with us. Not that we had any room but my mother insisted because she wanted to get to know Janine. She was family now. I don't think Janine knew what to do with that. They were very different women.

She was still giving me the cold shoulder. I don't think Janine considered me family just yet. But the only way to improve that would be for Janine to see how much I loved Rose and Rose loved me. But that didn't mean I was looking forward to it.

Adrian also had moved to Oksana and Mark. That way they could do spirit together. Mark was an accomplished Guardian so I didn't mind my charge staying over there. And I knew he needed a break. This house has been very crowded, with all the kids and my sisters. It had become a bit much. Adrian didn't really look all that well when he left last night.

I sat at the kitchen table nursing a big headache. I was grouchy. I knew that. Adrian practicing spirit had been what woke me up early. Why was he getting up early? He never got up early. But he and Lissa had been too excited to learn from Oksana. Oksana had held off on teaching Adrian a lot because she didn't want to have to explain things twice. So they mostly did some basic healing, since Lissa was well versed in healing. But now they could explore all that spirit had to offer.

My mother was up early too as always, and was making everyone breakfast. I swear sometimes my mother was too perfect. And I knew that was upsetting Janine. Janine stayed a guardian after Rose was born and because of that missed out on many things in her life. My mother was the pinnacle of motherhood, being there for every bump, bruise and accomplishment. But she gave up on her duty to do it. In some ways I was glad Rose and I would never have to face that choice.

I saw the tension coming off of Janine. Rose and my mother were chatting and I saw a look of jealousy on her face. I was getting a little frustrated with my mother. Did she have to rub it in her face? It wasn't helping things. Janine was still furious with me and didn't speak to me at all. I didn't need my mother adding to the drama.

Rose and my mother were now laughing, the babies were crying and Paul was shouting at me if I wanted to play with his cars.

"Come on uncle Dimka! Play with me. Play with me!"

I didn't know why a busy house was bothering me all of a sudden, but when my mother asked me if I could help her make her famous homemade bread from scratch like we used to do, I snapped.

"Could you give it as rest already? Not everything has to be made from scratch!"

Hurt crossed my mother's eyes. Janine was getting up and taking a defensive stance. I didn't know why until I realized I was shaking. My entire body was hotwired. Electricity was running down my spine and not in a good way. My mother looked scared. I never wanted to see that look on her face again. Not after my father. When I looked over at Rose, understanding crossed her face.

She ran up to me taking my head in her hands.

"Look at me comrade. Breathe. Stay with me. Breathe."

I did as I was told. I breathed in and out. I had never felt like this before. There was something cold creeping inside of me. But I was focusing on Rose, my Roza. She was my world and right now the only thing I could focus on. I let her soft voice tether me. I tried to fight this because I could hear the fear in her voice. I felt her soft hands on the side of my face. Her hands, her voice, her eyes. I focused on her until everything else was gone and it was just me and her. After that I could slowly find my center and expand my world again.

"I am here, Roza."

I sat down in the chair again. Roza in front of me squatting down, her hands covering mine.

"It's starting isn't it?" I said not looking at her.

She shook her head. Not because she didn't agree with me. We both knew the darkness was taking its toll, but because she didn't want to believe it.

"No, it won't be like it was with me and Lissa. Lissa and I were bonded before she had a chance to figure out her powers and the darkness. She never learned to deal with it on her own and I was too protective of her taking it all. Adrian has been dealing with the darkness himself for years. It is just hitting you now hard, because he healed you and then me. It took a lot out of him. It will get better. You two will find the healthy middle ground Lissa and I couldn't. Oksana can help. Lissa can help. And I will always be here, bringing you back, like you did for me. We can do this comrade."

I nodded, but I wasn't sure. I understood it now. The darkness took everything good about you. I was afraid of what I might do. I didn't care if I was a bit moody, but I had seen Rose become murderous. I was the only one who could stop her. I knew now Rose could bring me back. She held a piece of my soul and I knew she would keep it well. But even when I had done the same for Rose I first had to restrain her. I had pinned her in the cabin and it had taken a lot out of me to control her.

I was a lot stronger than Rose, physically. If I was being controlled by the darkness I didn't know if Rose could restrain me long enough to get through to me.

I had visions of hurting her. I was remembering what my father used to do to my mother. He said he cared about her yet he would take his uncontrolled alcohol induced rage out on her. I knew the same kind of violence was in me. I had worked hard to control it. I worked my whole life not to turn into my father. But I was scared I was fighting a losing battle. I looked away from her, suddenly ashamed.

"What is going on? What happened?"

Janine had dropped her guard a little, but was still surveying the situation carefully.

"It's the darkness Mom, Adrian has been using a lot of Spirit, to heal Dimitri and to heal me. It is catching up to both of them. But it will be alright."

Janine could hear the lie in her words, but didn't comment on it.

"Is this what happened to you?" I heard the crack in Janine's voice. Until now, the darkness was just a concept for Janine, not really understanding what it had meant and what it had done to her daughter. But what just happened here is a long way away from the damage the darkness had done to Rose. Although if I had a choice I would have saved her in that cave a thousand times over, I guess something good did come out of it. Rose was free now.

"No, Mom, I was much much worse. But don't worry Dimitri won't progress to that. I won't let him."

I saw Janine being taken aback by Rose's comment.

"What do you mean much worse? I saw you at the Academy, you were fine."

I saw Rose sigh.

"Tell her girl."

Rose looked up at Babushka's words. My grandmother always had a neck for knowing things she wasn't supposed to. Rose nodded.

"Mom, why don't you sit down, I'll tell you all about it."

We had skipped about the part where Rose was controlled by the darkness mostly. We had talked a bit about Rose and I because we needed to explain why Rose went back into that cave and why I would disappear after she was gone. But she never told her mother about what happened the two years she and Lissa had been on the run.

Rose was about to begin her story when the front door opened and a very flustered Adrian walked in with a confused envoy of Spirit users, fire user and two guardians in his wake.

"Hey cousin, are you okay. I was feeling particularly moody this morning and all of a sudden it was gone. I haven't felt so light in days. You took it didn't you?"

I crossed my arms over my chest.

"I didn't mean to, but it was seeping into me I guess."

He looked around, taking in the room and scanning over the people in it.

"So nothing happened?"

I sighed. Did he really expect me to start thrashing around and demolish this place and people?

"I blew up at my mother over black bread, but Rose calmed me down."

"Oh okay. Your aura is still pretty dark though." He again looked around and everyone was kinda staring at us. Adrian was taking in that everyone was seated and that Rose was in front of everyone.

Did I interrupt something? He asked through the bond.

"Rose was just about to tell her mother about how the darkness works and how it had affected her."

Adrian was keen on hearing that and so was Oksana. But I saw everyone take a seat, either on the still available couches or on the floor.

Oksana sat next to me and placed a hand on mine. I could feel her heal me.

"Just a little to take the edge off. You two will be fine, it will just take time."

I nodded my thanks. Now that some of the darkness was gone, I felt like I could breathe again. And now that I wasn't plagued by negative thoughts I could appreciate her words. Adrian and I just had to find a balance.

We originally wanted to keep the extent of which Lissa had affected Rose a secret because it would jeopardize her position at the academy and as Lissa's guardian, but now the darkness was no longer a problem for her, it might be good for people to know just how many kills she has made and how devoted she was to Lissa.

I saw Rose take a deep breath and lunch into her story.

"It started after the accident, when Lissa and I were on the run…"

By the end of her story everyone was gawking at her. I saw her mother look from me to her and back. I think she was starting to piece together how exactly we had ended up together. There was no doubt in my mind that even if Rose wasn't so affected by the darkness we would have been together but maybe it would have taken a bit longer. I didn't know if Janine considered this to be a positive thing, but I think her opinion on me changed a little. I was what had been standing between her daughter and insanity.

"So you killed like a lot of Strigoi, how many?" Christian seemed to have found his voice first.

Rose looked down at her hands.

"I am not sure, quite a few. But I don't recall how many."

Something crossed his face. He looked a little down.

"You really didn't need my help when Strigoi attacked the school, did you. I was just getting in the way."

Rose had a brilliant smirk on her face.

"No way, we were awesome. Could I have handled it on my own?... probably, but you made it so much easier. And us together showed the world how it is supposed to be. Moroi fighting alongside guardians so we can all survive. I will never regret that."

Christian had a smirk on his face now too. It was true. What Rose and Christian did that day was one of the reasons why Moroi teachers had volunteered on the rescue mission. Word had spread and the debate was going on stronger than ever.

RPOV

It was weird. Now everyone knew my secret. Lissa and I had been hiding this for so long and now it was out. But I felt a million times lighter; maybe also because I didn't have the darkness anymore, I didn't have to tell the story with fear in my mind. I was still afraid for Dimitri, but I knew that his relationship with Adrian was a lot different from my relationship with Lissa.

I was in the kitchen getting some snacks. All this talking about my life made me hungry. I didn't mind being the centre of attention, I was used to it. But these were intimate details I had been hiding for so long. It wasn't just something that was in the past. What I discussed here could affect my future.

Eddie joined me in the kitchen. Eddie had been quiet for the most part. He was never one to show big emotions, but I didn't know how he would be taking this. He didn't expect any of this when he came with Lissa to see another spirit user.

"He, Castille, how are things going with Lissa?"

"Good, Good," He seemed a little apprehensive. He was shy for some reason and I didn't know why. He was fidgeting with his hands.

"Eddie, what is wrong?"

I could see his eyes glister over when he looked at me and he launched himself at me enveloping me in a hug.

"Oh God Rose, I am so glad you are back. I had already lost Mason and I lost you too. Because of me. Can you ever forgive me."

He wasn't making any sense. I pulled back.

"What do you mean?"

"You went on the rescue mission because of me. You were turned because you came along to rescue me."

I understood it now. Why he had been reluctant yesterday. Everyone was feeling guilty and blaming everyone. I knew by the way Dimitri looked at Lissa and Eddie that at least in part he held them responsible for what happened at the caves, but most of all he blamed himself. Eddie blamed himself. But I was done. I was alive and wanted to enjoy my new found life not have to nurse my friend's guilt.

"Eddie Castille, you listen to me. I make my own decisions and own choices. And most of the time they are reckless and dangerous. This was no different. I knew I could help and so did Mason. He showed me where to find you and the others. You heard me, I am experienced in fighting Strigoi. I would have insisted on the rescue mission regardless. Hell I would have gone on my own if the academy didn't want to send a team. I would have died in those caves anyway. IT. IS. NOT. YOUR. FAULT."

He nodded. I saw Dimitri standing in the doorway. My speech was as much for him as it was for Eddie. I needed everyone to move on and stop blaming everyone for poor decisions. Me included. I needed to let go of my resentment of Lissa. I loved her like a sister, but I knew that my actions as a Strigoi came from somewhere. I was partly responsible for taking so much darkness from Lissa. And I think that now that we are no longer bonded we could be equal sisters again.

Olena had invited everyone to stay over for breakfast, we still hadn't had any. Between Dimitri going off and Adrian crashing into the house, we sort of forgot to eat. Lissa said they hadn't had breakfast yet either. And I was starving.

And we could fit everyone as long as people didn't actually have to sleep here there was room, and God knows Olena had enough food to feed an entire orphanage if she wished.

While Olena continued with the preparations for breakfast, I sat down next to my mother. She seemed deep in thought.

"Are you okay Mom?"

She snorted. "Shouldn't I be asking you that?"

I was okay. I had my family and friends back. I was alive and married to the man I love. Life was good at the moment. I was happy. But my mother obviously wasn't.

"I didn't know, Rosemarie. I didn't know any of it. I didn't why you ran, I didn't know how you were suffering or coping. My daughter has fought countless Strigoi and I didn't know."

Not a lot of people knew. Just Lissa and Dimitri.

"Nobody knew Mom. That was kind of the point."

She got up exasperated. "But I am your mother. I should have known. You should have been able to come to me when you felt Lissa was in danger. You should have come to me when you knew the darkness was affecting you like that."

She down again, defeated. "But you didn't because I wasn't there."

Her voice was small, almost non existent. I had never seen the great Guardian Hathaway like that. I pulled her close into a hug.

"Mom, It is okay. I know being a Guardian is important."

She turned to me. "But not more important than my daughter. You have to know that Rose. You have to know that I would have come if you had called. I would do anything for you."

She started crying again. Oh God, what had I done to my mother.

I contemplated her words. I believed them on some level. I knew if I had called and she actually believed me she would have come. But I hadn't called because the story sounded so made up. Darkness and spirit coming from two fifteen year olds, she wouldn't have believed me. But I also knew my mother loved me. So what was a harmless lie to sooth my mother.

"I know Mom, I know."

I hugged her again. I got up and dragged my mother into the kitchen with me. Olena was busy cooking up a storm. I was trying to get my mother to bond a bit with Olena. I knew my mother was as bad a cook as I was, but we could help chop something and maybe expedite the meal, as I said, I was starving.

When my mother saw what my intention was she looked at me faul. She didn't like Olena, not because she didn't actually like Olena, but because my mother apparently had an inferiority complex regarding her motherhood and Olena embodied motherhood.

I stared her down, moving my eyes from her towards Olena and back. She did say she would do anything for me. Well making nice with my mother in law was one of them. Oh God my mother in law. I was married! I was still getting used to that.

Olena graciously accepted the help and gave us both a shopping block. We were cutting vegetables and actually talking a bit when the door slammed open again. I knew they kept the door locked after dark. But during the day apparently it was open to anyone walking in. We didn't need more people in this house.

I could see the man from my position in the kitchen, but I doubt he could see me. He didn't seem to see much. He was looking around furiously. He was looking for something, but I didn't know what. But what struck me was that he was Moroi, they didn't have a lot of those in Baia. I was on high alert. What did he want?

The only thing that made me less apprehensive about him was how ridiculous he looked. He was quite a sight. He was wearing a bright colored suit and had a gold earring in his ear. He had dark skin for a Moroi and dark hair in curls. It gave him an exotic look, the clothes only adding to that. He looked like a middle-eastern business pirate. The sight was funny.

What wasn't funny was him honing in on his target and his target happened to my new husband. He walked up to him and stopped only inches from his face. The sight was almost comical. The Moroi was a few inches shorter than Dimitri and wasn't nearly as muscular, but he didn't seem to care.

The scary part was that Dimitri seemed to shrink under his gaze. This man made Dimitri look small.

He started poking Dimitri's chest.

"You sick bastard. You married someone and had them take on the name Rose Hathaway? What kind of sick fantasy is this? Why are you obsessing over my daughter? You would defile her memory? I will skin you. I will tear you limb from limb. I will…"

"Abe calm down."

My mother was walking up at the man and you could see the anger make way for genuine surprise. I was too stunned to think for a moment too.

"Janine?" Okay so they knew each other, and on a first name basis. Starting to think again.

"Leave Guardian Belikov alone. He hasn't done anything wrong."

You could actually see her thinking about it. She was tapping her hand against her chin.

"Well other than sleeping with his seventeen year old student that is."

Oh Mom not helping. This man's face, Abe, was morphing into anger again.

Slowly my mind was catching up to what was being said. They were on a first name basis and did he just say daughter? I looked at the man again. Of course he was. Look at him! I was his spitting image. Just when I was starting to form a relationship with one parent, the other one shows up.

He was about to launch himself at Dimitri again, Dimitri was taking it like a man though. My mother wouldn't do anything to save Dimitri. Well, maybe she wouldn't let Abe 'skin him alive', but I could see the small smile pulling at her lips, she would let this man play with Dimitri. I wouldn't though. I made my entrance. Every bit of control went out the window. I was calling his anger and raising him furious. How dare he?

"Daughter? Daughter? What right do you have to talk about me? To talk about my life. To insult my husband?"

I nearly spit the word husband in his face. He was shocked for sure. He was standing there with his mouth open but no sound came out. I had a feeling this Abe wasn't left speechless very often.

"He has been there every step of the way for the last few months, sacrificing everything and anything for me. What have you done for me? Huh? Huh?"

I was screaming at him and standing very close to him now. I had pushed Dimitri out of the way to get to him. Dimitri was just standing there ready to intervene if necessary. I didn't know if he was there protecting me from Abe or Abe from me.

"Rosemarie?" Abe had gone from enraged to almost emotional. He didn't think twice about it and hugged me. I could barely breathe. With his hug my rage disappeared as well. Well a bit. He had heard I died, no doubt. It was a little heartwarming. At least my father cared enough about me that he wanted to protect my memory and he obviously cared if his hug was any indication. Question remains why I had never seen him before now?

He pulled back and looked at me.

"How? I was at your funeral."

"Well you must have known the casket was empty." I said only half joking. Usually people that were taken by Strigoi got a memorial stone, but no actual grave or casket because well, there simply wasn't anything to bury.

He still looked at me funny. My mom walked up to him.

"Come on Abe, it is a long story. I'll tell you." She said guiding him away from me. They went into the adjacent room.

Olena came up to me from behind.

"Abe Mazur is your father?" She whispered as if he could hear her.

She actually looked a little scared. She knew my father? I had never known his name, first or last, but as I was staring around the room, I could see every Russian person in here, scared and a little intimidated? What was that about? Lissa and Eddie looked as clueless as I was.

"Am I supposed to know who that is?"

"You don't know who Abe Mazur is?" Christian replied, as if I was a child who didn't know the color of grass.

"No, am I supposed too?"

Everybody just kept staring.

"Roza, dear, your father is a… very influential man." Olena was carefully saying to me.

"Influential how? He isn't Royal. Mazur isn't a royal name."

"Some say he has more power than the queen." Karolina added.

I was getting confused. Very confused, why did everybody know so much about him. More power than the Queen? Nobody had more power than the Queen. But I believed it somehow. He radiated power and Dimitri had shrunk under his gaze. But how had he gained the power. What were we talking about. Magic? Money? Contacts? All of the above?

"How? He is just a Moroi?" for the first time I started to notice the Guardians that were still waiting outside. There were four of them. They were his Guardians. Lissa didn't even have four Guardians.

"He is a mobster Rose, your father is like the freaking boss of all things shady. He has got his hands in every pot if money is to be made. And he is the worst enemy to have. The name Abe Mazur is synonymous with 'batten down the hatches." Christian all but clarified.

I let his words sink in. I mulled it over in my head. My father was a mobster. A very influential mobster. I had always wondered where my rebellious side came from. Sure I got my temper from my mother although my father had one too I suppose. But my mother was a stickler for the rules, whereas I liked to think myself more of a free spirit if it came down to it. I would do what was necessary, not particularly what I was supposed to do.

"Huh, that is where I get that from."

My mother and, as it turned out, my father walked back into the living room. Abe however was still furious. My mother had no doubt told him of my darkness, the turning, turning back and Dimitri. I was starting to think the latter was still a problem.

He walked up to Dimitri again. Still poking that finger in his chest.

"You, you. What makes you think you are worthy of my daughter?"

Dimitri was about to reply with what would have no doubt been a romantic speech about how he loved me and would protect me and all that shit when Yeva stepped in between them. Abe's eyes went from looking up at Dimitri to looking down at Yeva. They were staring each other down. I had never seen anyone stand up to Yeva before, even my mother was a little scared of her. But my father stood his ground, earning his reputation as a badass and from what I have just heard, Yeva was earning hers.

"What makes you think, your daughter is worthy of my grandson?"

She retorted. Adrian piped in from the back.

"And the grandnephew of the queen."

All of us looked at Adrian for that.

"What? He is!" Adrian reiterated.

We had informed the newcomers yesterday that Dimitri and Adrian were bonded and that they were cousins. Lissa had asked me if that was why they were both attracted to me. I had shrugged. Her guess was as good as mine.

The two scariest people in the room paid the rest of us including Adrian no mind. Abe didn't look shocked and from the looks of it he had had dealings with Yeva before. I am guessing he was aware of Dimitri's parentage. Well knowledge is power right? And Abe struck me like the kind of guy that would want a lot of power.

"Come on old man, give it a rest." I said as I clapped him on the back.

Abe looked over at me now staring me down. Oh he was going to learn just exactly how much I was his daughter. I placed my hands on my hips and defied him, standing my ground.

After several moments he straightened out and smirked at me. I smirked back and a bond was formed.