Dean did everything he could to find Sam. He asked around, called in old favors, traced his cell, did location spells and got nothing in return. It was as if Sam didn't exist.
Or was dead…
No, he couldn't think like that. Thinking like that made him lose hope and he'd never let go of Sam without concrete evidence. Not until the body was lying in front of him would Dean ever believe Sam was gone.
So he kept looking, exhausting every option. All he gathered was that Sam was in the US still, somewhere North.
He asked Cas to help him, and he did. Somewhat. Castiel would pop in every week or so and check out one of their leads, then disappear after the trail went cold. He gave the angel a little leeway, the dude was looking for his runaway dad, who apparently had something going on. From what Dean remembered when his Dad was still alive, he could sympathize. Didn't mean he wasn't grumpy about it, the longer away from Sam he was, the more agitated he got.
He took on a few cases where he could, a few salt and burns, a pagan god who was dressing up like celebrities, a werewolf who was eating not only the hearts but the liver as well, and a wraith in a mental health institution.
It was rough without Sam watching his back, and it made Dean all the more eager to get him back.
It was four months of Sam being gone that something big happened.
Dean was in another motel, tracking down some ghost, when Cas burst in. The angel looked ruffled, his eyes wide and practically rolling in their sockets, his clothes in disarray and hair windswept. Dean was immediately on his feet.
"Whoa! Cas, what the hell happened?"
"Father has been sited once more," Cas said in a rush. Dean was kind of freaked out. This was the most emotion he had ever seen in the angel and it was really weird.
"Yeah? Where'd the old man turn up this time?"
"Heaven."
Dean's eyebrows furrowed, "Okay? So he pop in and out, bake a cake, what?" he said slowly. It was Castiel's turn to furrow his eyebrows.
"No, God has no need to bake desserts."
Dean snorted, "I mean, what happened?" Castiel's face smoothed back into its normal stern look.
"He grabbed a newly arrived soul, most likely for a resurrection. From what I could gather, He also had a brief interaction with Raphael, though I have no knowledge of what occurred between them. Raphael has been in seclusion since."
"Ok, so what's our next move?"
Cas's thumbs rubbed against his pointer fingers, a fidget that clung to his human vessel. It made him look surprisingly human all of the sudden.
"I need to see the soul, the one that God cast into Hell, and is currently residing in Heaven's prison."
"How do we do that?"
"You cannot do anything, I must find a way to sneak back into Heaven to interrogate them."
"Dude, you can't go back up there alone, not with all of those winged dicks gunning for you on their bosses' orders. I'm coming with." Castiel gave him a very stern look, conveying a very strong 'you are very stupid' feel.
"Dean-"
"No man, you're not going in alone. I'm coming with."
If Castiel was more human, he would have sighed.
Thankfully, it didn't take going to Heaven to interrogate the soul.
It took two days to gather information and ingredients for whatever ritual Cas had to perform on Dean to keep his soul aware as he was in Heaven. But as the second day was coming to a close, the two of them were found by a group of angels.
They were immediately on the defensive, pulling out angel blades and preparing to fight. But the group of angels just stood there, unmoving, until one in the middle took a step forward.
"Castiel." They were in a female vessel, with dark eyes and darker skin. Their voice hummed with power even under the flat tone and expressionless face.
Cas's eyes narrowed, his grip shifting on the blade, recognizing Gaanwil, a seraph.
"That will not be necessary, we have been tasked with locating you and keeping you here. Without force." Gaanwil said, eyes not leaving Castiel's, not acknowledging the human beside him.
"Why?" Cas demanded.
"Rapheal wishes to speak to you." They said.
"That is only more incentive to leave."
"The Healer knew you would think that, which is why he gave me permission to disclose his reasonings for speaking with you."
"Which being?"
Gaanwil's face twitched, just enough to show their displeasure. "He requires your perspective on the soul that was brought to Heaven's cells. The one Father threw into Hell."
Dean then butted in.
"Fuck that! That's all kinds of shady. How do we know you won't just toss Cas into a cell once he gets there?" Gaanwil didn't even look his way and gave no indication that they heard him other than a slight twitch in their eye.
"Answer Dean's question." Cas all but hissed out. Gaanwill gave Castiel a long look before tilting their head to the side and slightly up, as if gazing across the distance. Their eyes became glazed for a moment before clearing once again.
"Raphael has agreed to swear an oath upon his Grace as insurance." This seemed to relax Castiel, but Dean was confused.
"To swear an oath upon one's Grace is binding. They cannot go back on their word or risk dying." Castiel explained, sensing Dean's puzzlement.
"So he pulls a Harry Potter with this Unbreakable Oath and we get to leave when it's done? No sneaky, biblically underhanded scheming?" Dean tutted.
The trenchcoated angel nodded before addressing Gannwill, "I state the full terms of the oath before agreement."
Gannwill nodded, moving forward a step with their arm extended. Castiel clasped hands with them, light flickering in both of their vessels' eyes. They were still for a long moment before Castel spoke, a single "Agreed" before pulling back.
"The hell.." Dean muttered, looking between the two. The darker skinned angel stepped back into the formation behind them right before the group disappeared.
"What the hell just happened?" the hunter groused. Castiel turned to him.
"I made an agreement with Raphael. I will be meeting them at a specific location in an hour's time."
"How'd you talk to him? He wasn't even here!"
"Gannwill acted as a conduit between us, linking us so we could discuss the terms of the oath before agreement."
Dean grunted, not liking being left out of the loop.
"So, where are we going?"
An hour later, Dean and Castiel were in an abandoned warehouse. The epitome of supernatural gatherings. For once couldn't it be a nice motel room or comfortable lounge? Why a dusty, dirty, rat filled hole in the wall? Dean was pretty desensitised to dives like this, and he was kind of miffed by it.
Raphael held the same vessel, with his stern set eyes and dark skin, large hands and broad shoulders. He had changed his vessle's clothing, now wearing a well fitting three piece suit in a handsome maroon color.
"Castiel." He said in the barest of greetings.
"Raphael," the seraph returned. The Archangel gave him a long look before indicating to the area behind him.
"The human is there."
It was a large, suspiciously clean box or shed. It sat in the middle of the room and held one door onto its side. Two angels stood on each side of it, their backs facing the box.
Castiel headed towards the door, Dean hot on his heels.
What happened next was… odd.
Dean expected to see a man tied to a chair or up against the wall. What he hadn't expected to see was a dimly lit room with glowing orbs floating everywhere and at every height, with no other person within.
"These are memories," Castiel informed him, after Dean had expressed his confusion. "Each orb is an experience, a snippet of his life from his perspective."
"If these are his memories, then where is he?"
Castiel paused from looking around and turned his head towards Dean. "He is here. James McClellan is a soul without a vessel. Angels can take a soul on Earth and bind it to a temporary vessel for a short time. Normally this is not needed, we can view the soul and their memories within the confines of heaven without stress. But since the oath prevents me from reentering Heaven for the interrogation, this made do."
Dean was still confused, and a little creeped out. He was standing inside a person's soul. The thought grossed him out.
"What are we looking for?"
"The memories of the night he died." Cas said, stepping around a few orbs that hovered lazily around knee height. Dean didn't touch anything, not liking the slimy feeling most of the memories gave. Most of the orbs glowed with a light green light, but some oozed a sickly yellow or burnt burgundy. If he focused hard enough, he could see faint images run along their surfaces.
"This one." Cas called. Dean looked away from the yellow, spotting the angel in the far corner of the room, gazing at a yellow-red orb that hung about chest height. Moving over, Dean could see spiderwebed cracks along the surface of it, the light dimmer along the fractures.
"The memory has been viewed so many times it's beginning to waver. This is perhaps why Raphael decided to allow this now. Another viewing will more than likely disintegrate the memory entirely."
"Memories can disintegrate?"
Castiel hummed. "While in a vessel, memories are clusters of synapses within the brain, made by nerve cells clustering together when an electric reaction occurs. Every time you remember a memory, the clusters change, new pathways form in the brain or they are destroyed. This is why many humans cannot remember their early years or remember something completely different than another who experienced the same event."
"So like with witnesses, the more time passed the less reliable their testimony."
"Precisely. It is not dissimilar without a vessel. However, without something physical to anchor the memory, it is more exposed and fragile. This memory has no doubt been viewed hundreds of times by angels of various strengths. It has taken its toll and the memory is close to collapsing." Castiel reached out and gently cupped the orb between two of his hands. "Hold onto me Dean."
The hunter reached out and placed a hand on Cas's shoulder. The world melted away around them as they were sucked into the memory.
Not a moment later, Dean gasped, wrenching himself out as the orb finished showing them the recollection.
He was shaken, to the core, at what he had seen. How was this possible? How did he even get it? Where did he even get it?
The sound of something shattering distracted him. He looked up to see Cas, who was holding the remnants of the orb in his hands. The 'glass' was fading like a mirage in front of his eyes. The angel's eyebrows were furrowed.
"Cas…" Dean didn't know what to say. Sam, his Sam, had been there, in the bar that God had destroyed. Why? How even?
Puzzle pieces were slowly slotting into place in his head.
"Cas." Dean called again, steadying his voice.
"This is most odd." Castiel said, his face set in confusion. Without a word, he turned to the front and moved to leave. Dean was quick to follow, still at a loss for words and wondering what the hell Cas was going to say.
Raphael stood outside the door, looking expectant. One eyebrow arched in question.
"The memory was foggy but I was able to see enough. Father's grace was more damaged at that point than when I had seen Him. Granted, this event was before my resurrection, so it appears He is healing Himself. But It looks to be at a rate far slower than He should be capable of. I doubt He would intentionally remain injured, something is ailing Him." Castiel looked disturbed, as did the other angels in the room.
Dean looked between the two angels in front of him, wondering if they were being serious. Were neither of them going to mention the elephant in the room? Sam had been there! In the damn bar!
He went to open his mouth and yell at the idiots, but something stopped him. A nagging feeling in the back of his head that clamped his mouth shut. He'd sit on this information for now.
It took a few more minutes, Castiel describing the damage differences between the Grace in the memory and the Grace he had seen. In the end, Raphael looked unhappy, and Dean didn't know if it was because of the smaller amount of information or the state his Dad was in. He didn't ask.
The hunter waited. Until the angels disappeared with the box and him and Cas were long gone as well, rolling down the road. Cas had been ready to flutter off to wherever, but Dean had kept a hold of the front of his coat, giving him a stern look as he pushed him into the front passenger seat.
"Dean, i must-"
"Eh-eh-eh! No. You sit and stay for a minute." Dean hissed as he started the car and drove off. It wasn't until they were well out of town that Dean broke the tense silence.
"Sam was there." He spoke quietly, as if he spoke too loud something would snap.
"What?" Castiel looked at him, baffled.
"What do you mean what? He was right there at the table, playing cards with the other dudes. He was right in front of us in the memory! Are you telling me you couldn't see him?"
"I… Dean, when we observe anything, we do not look at the vessels. We look at the essence, the souls and powers within. When we viewed the memory I was looking at what was housed within their bodies, not the faces of the vessels that contained them."
"Well that's stupid! You should have seen that. Sam was there, Cas!"
"I did not sense him."
Dean was quiet for a moment, thinking hard.
"Do… Do you think that whatever juice that Sam's got, that maybe It's hiding him?" Castiel's eyebrows furrowed.
"He would not be able to hide himself completely, I would have been able to sense him there, even if I was unable to tell who he was. The only things I sensed were the humans and my Father. There were no other angels around."
"Well maybe that is him!" Dean practically screeched. The angel let out a startled "What?" as he looked at the crazed human driving next to him.
"Think about it, Cas! The cage opens, Sam suddenly has powers from an unknown angel, can do all this crazy shit! And right as that happens your Dad starts popping up all over the place!"
"What is the point, Dean?" Castiel growled.
"What I'm saying, feathers, is that I don't think it's an angel's Grace that's juicing Sam up." Dean said, matter-of-factly.
"You think Sam holds God's Grace?" Castiel looked greatly skeptical.
"Think Cas, Sam stumbles upon some of God's Grace, gets juiced up. Maybe he's had it for a while now and the demon blood was keeping it down." The angel made a quiet, offended noise.
"Impossible, no demonic substance can withhold the power of God."
"I'm theorizing here, Cas. But what if all of this isn't actually God running around with a bum leg? What if it's just Sam all powered up on God, fumbling around and causing a racket on accident?"
Cas was stunned quiet, looking at Dean with wide, wild eyes.
"It… it is possible."
"Then we need to find him!" Dean proclaimed loudly. He jabbed a finger into Cas's chest, not taking his eyes off the road. "But just to two of us. I ain't letting the halo crew get their hands on Sam just to juice him like a lemon for Grace."
"I- ok Dean." Cas's voice was small, confused. He sat in the car with Dean until they reached Bobby's house two days later, the lost look never leaving his face.