NOTE: I combined some chapters. If you're looking for the update, check about 1/3rd into the next chapter.
So I'm actually a human dumpster fire and less than a week after starting my revision I changed my mind about how I'm doing things. I decided to combine my short ass chapters to make something more cohesive. Sorry I can't make up my mind about things.
I am completely gutting this story and rewriting. Because I feel like it.
Anything in italics is Rose's thought or a flashback.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Prologue
When Rose Weasley was eleven years old, she her lost wand. It's sort of like losing your glasses or your car keys only a thousand times worse. Your wand is the key to your magic. It's what makes it happen. Of course, there are wandless spells, but those are awfully hard; impossible when you're an eleven-year-old.
But Rose wasn't really worried about the fact that she wouldn't be able to do magic without it; she had only had it for a few days and had never actually done any magic with it except for a swish here or there just to see what would happen. She was worried about how her parents would respond. They were leaving for Hogwarts that very day for her first year, and she had only a few minutes to look for it. She could hear them calling from downstairs.
"Rosie, time to go!"
"Hurry up Rose, or we're going to be late."
Rose was in a panic. They were going to kill her if she didn't walk down those steps with her wand. She could see it in her head; her mother shaking her head in disappointment. Rose could hear her father telling her she couldn't go to Hogwarts now and that she would have to live the rest of her life as a muggle. She tore her room apart in desperation to find it, but it was simply gone.
There was no way they would ever forgive her for losing it. Rose knew wands were expensive and her dad wouldn't want to have to buy another one. They would send her away to live in the muggle world all by herself. She would have to walk the streets of muggle London begging strangers for money. She would have to be barefoot all the time and wear thin, ripped clothes even in the winter. Eventually she would die of frostbite or starvation. No one would come to her funeral. Her parents wouldn't even miss her. They would probably be happy to just have Hugo.
Eventually they would forget all about Rose. "Rose who?" they would say, when old friends inquired about her. "Oh, you mean that ungrateful little brat who lost her wand? We sent her to live in the streets of muggle London. She was just a no good, rotten little girl. She would have been a terrible witch. But enough about her. Did you hear? Hugo made Head Boy!"
What a horrible future she was destined to live. Rose contemplated just taking her school trunk and sneaking out the window instead of going downstairs to face her parents. She was sure she could find her own way to Aunt Ginny and Uncle Harry's house. Maybe they would take her in as a servant…
"Rose! Come on!"
Slowly, she descended the steps with her head hanging and her hands empty. She sighed as she entered the kitchen and had to face them.
"Rosie," Ron Weasley said, "what's wrong?"
"I… I can't find my wand…"
His smile dropped.
"What do you mean you can't find your wand?" he asked.
"I mean that I lost it; I can't find it. It's missing." Ron's ears were slowly turning red.
"Ronald," Rose's mother said warningly. "Why don't you go out to the car? Rose and I will be out in a minute."
After her father left with Hugo in tow, Rose's mum smiled down at her. Hermione Granger-Weasley reached into her pocket and pulled out her own wand.
"Accio Rose's wand," she said. And sure enough, the wand came flying down the steps and into her hand. Rose simply couldn't believe it. It had been as easy as a summoning charm. Rose looked at her mother with disbelief. Hermione winked at Rose and said, "It's amazing what magic can do." She then patted her on the head and walked out to the car.
That was the day Rose realized just how wonderful magic truly is. But that's really not the point. Why this story? Sure, it's sort of funny and it's nice how Rose's mother got her wand and she understood the power of magic and the greatness of the gift she had. But those aren't the reasons this story is so important. The severity of losing her wand was great. Her mother helped her find it, but if that Accio wouldn't have worked, she would have been in deep trouble. And while the consequences that were running through her mind may have been the product of an overactive imagination, the consequences still would have been severe.
But you see, Rose lost something else; something even worse than her wand. The consequences of this are going to be ten times the consequences of losing that. And the disappointment of her parents will be even worse.
You see, Rose had lost her virginity.
OoOoO
The first thing Rose Weasley realized when she awoke was that she had a headache. No, not just a headache. Her head felt as though it had been split in two. Her mouth felt like cotton and when she opened her eyes, she immediately closed them again at the bright light shining through the gap in the curtains around the bed.
The second thing Rose Weasley realized was that there was someone laying behind her on the bed. No, not just behind her. Around her. Arms were wrapped around her midsection and fingers were entwined with her own. A leg was hitched over her thigh. And something hard was poking into her lower back. Shit, what did I do?
Rose counts to ten in her head before trying to open her eyes again. She looks down and sees first that she is naked and then that the hands that are holding hers are male. She sighs. She should have known that from the pressure on her lower back. Rose very slowly and quietly extricates her hands from the other person's. They come instead to rest on her stomach. Oh merlin, what did I do?
Rose looks at the sheets on the bed and the comforter that (barely) covers her hips. She is in her own bed; at least that's something.
What had happened? Who was she with and how had she gotten here?
Rose closes her eyes again, hoping for something to come back to her, some memory of the night before to remind her what had transpired. A flash comes to her.
A masculine hand with long fingers, reaching out with a glass of amber liquid. "Come on Rosie, just one drink!"
"I guess one drink won't hurt…"
"Brilliant!"
Rose blinks. It certainly hurt the next day.
A view of everyone in the room from above them. Loud music and people calling her name. Cold shoulders and midsection. A hand tugging hers, bringing her off the table.
"Why don't you put on your shirt and we can go dance with everyone else?"
Bodies moving, touching, so close together. Hands feeling and liking.
It felt as though ice water had replaced her blood. Cold dread seeps through her as the last fragmented memories come to her.
She wants to rip his hair out when he thrusts into her for the first time. But slowly, that pain turns to sweet pleasure and she can't get enough. She tries again, and again, and again, but it's still not enough.
Rose becomes acutely aware of just how sore she is between her legs from trying again and again and again. And then her mind fixates on that hair she had wanted to rip out. White blonde hair.
Just as this thought strikes her the hands on her stomach start to move. One hand slides up to cup her bare breast, while the other slides down to dip between her legs. Rose freezes for only a moment. A small moan gusts past her ear as the body behind her stretches. She feels the hard length that had been resting on her lower back slide down towards her bum. That puts her into action.
Rose bolts upright and scrambles to the foot of her bed. Her eyes finally fall on the body occupying her bed. She shuts her eyes one last time, trying to will him gone. When she opens them, her blue eyes meet grey.
"Oh bloody hell," she mutters.
His eyes blink once, twice, three times before he sits straight up in bed. "Oh shit. Rose."
Looking back at her is her best mate, Scorpius Malfoy, completely starkers in her sheets.
OoOoO
"Scorpius, what the bloody hell is going on?"
He runs his hands through his already mussed, near white hair. He looks at the comforter, then back to her, then back down at the comforter. "Fuck," he mutters quietly.
"Scor, how did we get here?" her voice is rising quickly to a near screech. "What happened last night?"
"Ravenclaw party," he says, as though that is even remotely an answer.
She moves here hands in a gesture to have him keep talking. His eyes are on her face, then flicker down, then back up to her face. Rose pulls the comforter up to cover her body. This uncovers him. She looks directly at what was pressing up against her before he woke up. She gives a squeak and closes her eyes, motioning him to cover up. Before her eyes close she notices a rust colored stain on the sheets near his legs.
"I think we're a bit past that," Scorpius drawls, his trademark nonchalance coming out. He covers himself anyway. "We were at the Ravenclaw party last night. We were drinking. You were drinking. A lot. I think you were on the table in your bra dancing at one point. I know I got you down. Didn't want you to fall or anything." He gives her a smirk, "I think you owe me a thank you for saving your life."
"Scorpius," Rose growls, "how did we get here?"
Scorpius raises an eyebrow. "You don't remember?"
"Obviously not!" She shakes her head. "I remember bits and pieces."
"I know we danced together. If you could call it dancing. There was a lot of touching. All on your part, I might add."
"Clearly I was very drunk," Rose mumbles.
"Clearly," Scorpius drawls, looking unamused. "The rest is a bit of a blur. I think we snuck into the hall for a quick snog and then we must have come to your dorm, though I can't imagine why…"
"Scorpius, just tell me. Did we have sex?" she's looking at him seriously.
"I'm sure you're truly missing bits and pieces from all the alcohol last night, but if you want to pretend you don't know the answer to that, I don't know who you're trying to kid."
"Oh Merlin!" Rose moaned, dropping her head into her hands.
"Yes, I think you said that quite a bit last night."
"Scorpius, you tosser! I can't believe you did this!" Rose gives him a ferocious look. "You know I wanted to wait and you went and had sex with me when I was drunk anyway!"
Scorpius' eyes light up and he growls out, "You do not want to play the blame game with me right now, Rosie. Under no circumstances did I take advantage of you. You started the touching on the dance floor. You initiated the snogging. I didn't ask you to go down on me in the corridor and in case you hadn't noticed, we're in your dorm room, not mine. Who do you think brought us here? I didn't have sex with you! We had sex with each other."
Rose's face grew hot at his words. "I don't believe you! Show me your memories! I want to see what really went on."
"No," Scorpius said, almost too fast. "No way!"
"And why not?" asked Rose.
"Becau-because they're my memories. How would you like it if I pilfered through your memories?"
"I'd let you if you couldn't remember what happened the night before."
"Would not. Stop being such a baby and accept that I am not the only one to blame here. You're not a virgin anymore," he says the word like it's a curse. "There's nothing you can do about it now. Move on."
Rose's face is nearing the color of her hair and tears start to form in her eyes. "I know that, okay. I just- it was supposed to be special event, with a special person, and I was supposed to at least remember it."
"Rosie," Scorpius sighs, once more running his hands through his hair, "I know this isn't how you wanted to lose your virginity, in a drunken stupor with your best friend. If I could go back and change it for you, I would. But we can't change it. Let's just move on. We don't have to talk about it anymore, okay? You barely remember it anyway, so just pretend like it never happened. Alright, Rosie?" He holds his hand out to her.
"Alright." Rose tells him, putting her hand in his.
"Let's get ourselves cleaned up and we can meet in the Great Hall for lunch in a while, okay?"
"Yeah."
OoOoO
Six weeks into classes marked six weeks since Rose Weasley and Scorpius Malfoy slept together.
They agreed that they would forget about it and so they did. To the best of their ability. Rose felt self-conscious the first week or so, sometimes avoiding Scorpius, feeling embarrassed knowing what they had done together. But not remembering most of the night certainly worked to her advantage, making it easy to fall back into their old routines of sitting together, eating together, studying together.
Scorpius did not seem at all affected by their night together. He turned immediately back to winking and flirting with everyone in a ten-foot radius. Aside from Rose of course, which was fine by her.
The term was well underway and so were the pressures of performing well in classes. Rose was spending most of her time buried in her books and stress eating, while Scorpius was spending most of his time buried in a random girl and poking fun at Rose's stress eating. As the pressure of the term mounts weekly, Roses stomach starts protesting her eating habits and giving her terrible spells of nausea. The strain of a packed school schedule always causes stomach issues for Rose.
At dinner one night in the third week of October, Scorpius was missing from the dining hall, so Rose sat at the Gryffindor table with her family, not missing his jabs at her appetite. She reaches for another helping of roast when a voice calls out from a few chairs down, "Rosie, if you keep eating like that, you'll end up looking like Hagrid! What is that your twelfth helping?" Rose looks down the table to see Louis grinning at his clever jab. Rose gives him the two-finger salute and a sneer. Leave it up to one of her many cousins to step up and take Scorpius' place taunting her.
Her family alone should have been enough to distract her from any residual awkwardness with Scorpius. They were loud and large. Rose welcomed the feeling of being surrounded by the rowdy crew of Weasleys and Potters.
Al and Roxie were having a heated conversation, while little Lucy was trying to keep up with what they were saying and pick up a few pointers. Molly sat beside Lucy reading, while Louis made faces at her when her attention was off him. Dominique was laughing with Lily, while Hugo played a game of Wizard Chess with Fred between bites of his roast.
"Knight to E6," Rose's brother says around a mouthful of roast.
"Hugo, don't talk with your mouth full," Lily scolds him. "You're acting like Uncle Ron during Christmas dinner at gran's house."
"Sorry," Hugo says sarcastically, making sure to open his mouth as wide as possible to show off the food he hasn't swallowed yet. Dom and Lily exchange a look of disgust before returning to their conversation. Molly finally notices Louis' faces and she sends an obscene hand gesture to Louis which she tries to hide from her little sister. Lucy catches it of course and asks her what it means.
The buzz around her fills Rose with a warm feeling of familiarity.
"Rosie, help me out here," Al calls from across the table.
"Yes?"
"Roxie seems to think that the Cannons are going to make it to the quidditch world cup!"
"Of course they are," Roxie says throwing up her arms, obviously incensed, "they're the best damn team in England!"
"Oh, Roxie," Rose laughs, "there's no way the Cannons can beat Puddelmore. I mean, really, I know you love the team, but look at the stats. You sound like dad."
Roxanne just rolls her eyes. "Uncle Ron's a smart man. At least when it comes to quidditch. I still say…" she continues to Al, who shoots Rose an appreciative wink for helping him out.
Rose finishes her third helping of dinner before picking up her satchel and heading to the library to finish up some last-minute studying for tomorrow's potion's class. On her way she notices a familiar shock of blonde hair and stops in her tracks.
Scorpius has a fifth year Ravenclaw, who might be named Trish or Tracie or something else with a T, pushed up against the wall next to a statue. He is snogging her like he needs her to breathe. Rose stands for a moment, scandalized and suddenly a little lightheaded. A memory surfaces.
They duck into an alcove in the corridor. Lips pressing together, bodies pressing together. Hips moving. Growling. Her back against the wall. He's in control. She moans against his mouth.
Rose feels the blood rush to her head and her stomach twists. She walks briskly down the corridor, averting her eyes from Scorpius and the girl, searching instead for the nearest bathroom.
She barely makes it to the stall before she throws up her dinner. She chokes and heaves until her stomach is empty, then lays her head on the porcelain of the toilet, gulping for air. Her mouth feels sour from being sick.
Finally, the ill feeling passes and she's able to stand up on shaky legs. Rose leans up against the stall door and tilts her head back. She's counting back in her head, doing the math. You're a Ravenclaw Rose. Look at the facts.
She finally closes her eyes and lets out an uneasy breath. Oh no, it can't be…
So, I decided to rewrite this story. I don't know why- it's almost 10 years old and I haven't written any fanfic (or anything nonacademic) in about that long. While this prologue is basically the same as it was originally, the rest of the story is not. The overall gist of the story is the same, but when I originally wrote it, it was in first person. It was also quite dreadful. I wrote this back when I was 15! Of course it was bad! So now that I'm a full-on grownup who actually has life experience with some of the things in this story, I thought it might be nice to give it a real go. I hope you'll stick with me. I have a strange and overwhelming need to get it out.
Reviews are appreciated.