Hikari chewed on her lips. She knew she had to tell Itachi at some point. How was she supposed to tell him though?

"Hey you're back." Itachi tapped her on the shoulder.

"Nothing!" Hikari jumped and pushed him away gently.

"Okay? How did it go is it already over?"

"No, I left early." Hikari sighed her heart beat going down a notch. "There's something I have to tell you. You might want to sit down for this."

"Why, is it bad?" He asked sitting down on the couch facing her.

"Well..."

"Are you okay?" Hikari swallowed the lump in her throat.

"Yeah, I mean- yeah. I guess." Itachi stuttered unable to trust himself to talk for too long.

Hikari sucked her lips in her mouth and slid closer to him. She reached for his pinky with her own and held it tightly.

Hikari was surprised when he pulled away and stood up from his seat. She frowned as she stared at his back, Itachi walked away from her and he gradually disappeared from her sight.

Hikari sighed and hugged the couch pillow and rest her chin on it, pulling her knees to her chest.

"Well done Hikari."

Hikari paced anxiously in her room. It just wasn't happening.

" You should rest a bit. You'll fry your brain at this point."

"I can't remember it. For the love if everything I can't remember. I knew it a moment ago I'm sure I-"

"Hey, hey, hey. Don't beat yourself up over it." Mangetsu wrapped his arms around her, her back meeting his chest. He kissed her temple and hugged her tighter. Closer.

Hikari's hands trembled. "I feel like I'm losing myself again. I forgot mom's name again. I'm scared."

"I know."

"I don't want to forget you again. I don't want to forget Kisame or Zabuza-san or Juzo-san or Itachi-kun or Sui-chan. I don't want to forget Yukine or Hana-san or Tsuki-chan I-" Hikari's lips wobbled as she tried to keep her sobs at bay.

"Shh, we'll figure this out, okay?"

Hikari nodded through her tears, she reached to wipe them away but they just kept coming.

Mangetsu stroked her hair to comfort her. He didn't like any of this. Hikari was forgetting a lot of things. Things they've both spent over five years trying to have her remember.

It all started when she saw that snake freak back in Konoha.

She hadn't noticed until Mangetsu had asked her about the last time she visited her mom's grave. Hikari gave him a confused face before she asked who she was.

It all went downhill from there. Over the course of the last few weeks Hikari had forgotten her mother's name four times already.

Right now would be the fifth.

She fell into a never ending spiral of self-doubt. She hadn't spoken to Itachi or Kisame a day after she got back from Konoha.

She didn't forge anything either. She cleaned her room vigorously everyday. Nothing he did seemed to convince her that she had already cleaned her room an hour before, and that this was why she felt so tired.

She misplaced stuff all the time.

She was gradually going back to the helpless fourteen year old all over again.

He was almost tempted to find a Yamanaka to help her. Hell he was prepared to go ask Kakashi even though he was never fond of him. Or the fact that Hikari had developed an alliance of sorts with him.

Mangetsu sighed when he felt Hikari's breathing going ragged again for the third time today.

"Hikari, calm down. Please."

He wasn't mentally prepared for another panic attack.

Hikari blinked at him as he stood there glaring at her.

She didn't understand what she did but all she knew was Mangetsu was frustrated with her.

"I thought I told you to rest."

"I am resting."

"No, you are training your ass off when I specifically said you should rest!"

"But I didn't train at all today."

"No Hikari you were supposed to rest."

"I was resting. Then I got bored."

Mangetsu almost screamed at her in frustration.

"You're supposed to fucking rest you shit head! Not train because you got bored!"

"Well what was I supposed to do?! Itachi-kun won't talk to me. He hasn't been outside in a week. I'm worried but I can't get into his room, he's locked me out you know. Kisame is away god knows where, puppet man and Deidara have a mission. The God damned Uchiha is planning something I'm worried about and I've been thinking too much about it and about why I'm suddenly forgetting everything I've worked so hard the past five years to rember! So please do excuse me if I want to do something other than lie down and rest to get my mind off of things!" Hikari pulled at her hair in frustration. Tears pooling in her eyes. "I've been worried about something since I got back from the chuunin exams and I can't remember what it is." She whimpered, pulling her knees to her chest.

Mangetsu sighed. Maybe he was being insensitive to her feelings.

He sat down beside her and pulled her trembling hands away from her head gently, holding them in his own comfortingly.

"It's okay, Hikari. I'm right here. I'll always be right here."He raised her hands to his lips and kissed them softly, a bright smile drawing itself on his lips.

Hikari's lips wobbled as she gripped his hands tightly. She really didn't want to cry again.

But she did anyway. Basking in the comforting presence that was her best friend.

She knew she's safe as long as he was there.

Hikari bit her lip as she knocked on Itachi's door. "Itachi-kun I'm coming in." She opened the door slowly and peered inside.

"Itachi-kun?" He was nowhere to be seen. Hikari frowned as she stepped inside to have a better look. She still couldn't find him.

Hikari sighed and was about to turn away before she heard it.

All the coughing and gagging that came from the bathroom.

She took slow hesitant steps to the closed door and opened it carefully.

There he was lying beside the toilet, leaning back against the wall. He looked pale and almost lifeless.

Hikari sat in front of him, wiping his mouth and chin with a hand kerchief then took him by the hand to gently lift him up and away from the bloody mess.

She took slow and steady steps because his weren't. He was struggling to keep up with her, stumbling and tripping.

Hikari was patient leading him slowly to his bed, squeezing his hands tightly for comfort and kept her eye contact with him.

When they finally arrived at the bed. Itachi collapsed onto her.

Struggling to keep him balanced as she sat down on the bed, Hikari wrapped her arms around his back trying to get both of them comfortable.

Itachi felt her arms around him but he was just so tired. He could barely register anything that was happening. Her hand in his hair, scratching his scalp gently. Her soothing voice as she coaxed him to rest a bit more. He really did want to rest for a bit. To listen to her sweet voice as he closed his eyes. To feel her hands trough his hair as he went to sleep.

Itachi could barely move his eyes let alone his mouth. He could hardly breathe, yet he couldn't sleep.

Hikari finally laid him down on the bed. She pulled the chair from his desk and sat next to him, running her hands through his hair.

Itachi, finally gathering enough strength to look up at her hand as it worked carefully and gently through his hair. He didn't have a fever this time around.

He knew exactly what triggered the violent attack he had earlier. Yukine had told him not to stress. But how could he not after he learned that his baby brother was cursed by Orochimaru.

How could he remain calm after that piece of information?

He opened his mouth to call out to her. "-kari."

"Oh no don't speak it's okay. Whatever you want to say can wait. Don't talk just yet. Close your eyes and sleep okay? I'll be right here when you wake up."

Her words reminded him of the rare times he'd fall ill back at home. His mother's gentle touch, her gentle words. Her small worried smile.

His mouth twitched slightly upwards at the corners. Thanking Hikari in his head, he closed his eyes and had a dreamless sleep.

"Looks like that has to wait, don't you think?"

"Yeah." Mangetsu nodded solemnly. He could see just how worried she was. He was worried too.

Three days went by, Itachi kept going in and out of consciousness. Barely registering Hikari as she fed him or gave him his medicine.

Itachi sat up feeling groggy and gross. "Hikari-san?"

His eyes traveled across the room, he couldn't find her anywhere. He took a deep breath but coughed slightly. He felt a slight pressure on his lap. Looking down he saw her hand resting on his knee and her face buried in the mattress beside him.

At the sound of his small cough, Hikari sat up and looked up at him. "I'm up."

Itachi only saw her like that twice, once when he was sick in the land of snow and the other time when she hadn't slept for weeks and didn't come out of her room.

This would be the third time to see her looking so haphazard. "Did you sleep at all?" Itachi asked her knowing her answer.

"Yes."

"Hikari-san."

"No. But it's fine. How are you feeling? Can I get you anything?"

"No, you on the other hand could get some sleep."

"I'm not tired."

Itachi sighed massaging his temples slightly before turning to her with a glare on his face.

"Sleep."

"No."

That stubborn woman. Itachi pulled her hand and forced her to lie beside him on the bed.

"Itachi-kun! What-"

"Shh, just sleep." He rested his cheek on her head and hugged her close causing her to blush.

"But-"

"Please."

"...Okay." She finally gave into her body's demands and allowed her eyes to droop close, her head resting on his chest.

Itachi waited until her breaths became steadier and smiled slightly. A couple more hours of sleep wouldn't hurt.

Neither of them spoke about what happened that night. It wasn't awkward between them but they felt that if they did talk about it it might become awkward.

Hikari lay restless in her bed. For the love of everything she held dear, Hikari couldn't sleep.

"Maybe you need someone to sleep beside you hmm?"

Hikari blushed. "I do not! I'm just worried!"

"Right right."

"I mean I have to tell him that I'm not going to be around for at least a couple of weeks. What if he has an attack like the last one and I'm not here? You saw how he was then didn't you?! He wouldn't be able to do anything by himself and despite what we all know, Itachi-kun's pretty forgetful when it comes to his medicine what if he forgets or misses a dose or-"

"Hold on, hold on. Breathe."

Hikari breathed deeply.

"Let it out."

She did.

"Again."

She repeated the process.

"One more time."

She obliged and nodded.

"Better?"

"Better."

"If you're so stressed why don't you give him one if those communication devices you created."

"I did."

"Then you have nothing to worry about alright?"

Hikari nodded. "Okay."

"There you go. Now tell me what we know until now."

"Well.."

Hikari sat down on the floor of the hotel room. Her clothes thrown askew, book in hand and a lollipop in her mouth. She was finally out of the base filled with men. She really really wished she could slip back into her old habit again of staying half-naked when she was indoors. But it wasn't as if her colleagues were really gentle about it.

Granted she cut Hidan's hand's off when he touched her, and gave Deidara quite the beating, but that wasn't her problem.

The panic Itachi would have anytime she was dressed like that or lack thereof threw her off. She would wonder if maybe he didn't like her. Or he didn't want to see her. She'd grown insecure and looked in the mirror. She never had a negative reaction to her body before that.

Hikari was confident in everything she did. Even mistakes she did them with confidence. It was almost comical how she'd be so confident in something only to discover she was wrong. She was confident in her image, the way she dressed, the way she walked, spoke. Everything.

Except that one little thing that always bothered her, and she wondered if Itachi was bothered by it too. If he was sick of it like she was.

She stood up and walked towards the mirror turning slightly to see her back.

She wondered if the scars, the jagged lines, the burn marks bothered him. If it made him sick.

"This shit again?"

"Can I help it?" she smiled sadly.

"God damn it Hikari." Mangetsu sighed putting his fingers on her back. "How long are you going to keep this up?"

"I don't know." She looked to the ground ashamed. "I thought I didn't care about it but-"

Mangetsu sighed for the umpateenth time that day and rested his chin on her shoulder. "It doesn't matter. None of it." He traced the biggest scar on her back with his index finger, running his hands from the center of her neck to her right hip. It was the longest and biggest one she had. And the oldest one too.

Hikari nodded quietly. Mangetsu kissed her shoulder in comfort before leaving.

When she got like this, Hikari should be left alone.

Hikari closed her eyes and wrapped her arms a across her stomach.

She was fine. It was all fine. She sat back down and picked up her discarded book.

She thought too much.

Her hunt wasn't going that great. If she got discovered she'll be arrested for sure.

Hikari was lucky few people knew her identity. She was even luckier to stay under the radar even after joining the Akatsuki.

She was trying to gather information about him, and maybe herself in the process.

Surely if her body was subconsciously afraid of him it meant something right? Deidara had pointed her in this direction and now there she was infiltrating a base without any plan whatsoever.

"I'm just saying maybe this is a waste of time."

"We lose nothing being here, Hikari. I'll always be right here you know that. You'll be fine."

"Doesn't make me less worried. I'm scared."

Hikari didn't usually admit she was scared. Especially to him. She never wanted anyone to look down on her, so she never showed fear. But right now as Mangetsu looked at the eighteen year old his eyes softened, how far had she come from all the way back then?

"Funny enough you seem to remember the passage ways here."

"I- I really wish I didn't. I don't know why."

"I'll leave you to concentrate okay?"

"N-no! Stay." She bit her lips. She really didn't want to be alone.

"Okay okay, no need to worry."

Hikari sniffled and continued her search.

"Found it!" Hikari pumped her fist in the air when she found her photo. "Surprisingly, creepy snake man is organized."

"We should get out of here then."

"Couldn't have said so sooner! Let's-"

The door slammed shut making Hikari turn around. A gray haired man stood before her.

"Shit. I really wished to go undetected today." Hikari wined.

Her opponent attacked her with a chakra scalpel.

"Uh-oh, he's a medic." Hikari flinched away.

Unsheathing Mangetsu Hikari pointed it at his throat.

"So you're the infamous Heiki."

"Oh this is bad." Hikari whistled. "Okay look buddy I really don't want to fight so-" her eyes widened as her cheek bled slightly. She got away in the nick of time.

Hikari sighed and sheathed Mangetsu back.

"Hikari, calm down." Mangetsu panicked. He tried so hard to prevent her but Hikari didn't like it when people made her bleed.

It made her blood boil.

Eyes flaring red with anger she marched right up to him and held him by the collar.

His eyes widened he didn't even know she was in front of him until he was slammed into the wall.

"Bye bye four eyes." Hikari smirked sinisterly looking him directly in the eyes.

"Good luck getting out of your own mind, you little shit." She let go of his collar and watched as he slid down the wall leaving a small blood trail behind.

Picking up the files she dropped Hikari walked out of the room.

"Making me bleed like that. That little shit I should've killed him."

"You need to calm down."

"I am calm!"

Mangetsu sighed. "You should work on your temper."

"No I should work on me leaving second chances. Let me go back I'll kill him and then we'll be rid of another scumbag." She turned to the direction the came from and marched ahead.

"Hikar, turn around."

"What?!"

"Walk away, we need to head back."

Hikari gritted her teeth, but obliged anyway.

"I'm nervous and scared and-"

"It's okay, open it when we go back. You don't have to open it now." Mangetsu took the file away.

"Okay, okay." Hikari put her hands in her face. "Okay."

"I don't get this."

Itachi frowned.

"It makes no sense. I- I thought.. I thought I might find something but-"

"Hikari-san."

"There's nothing new here. Nothing. I know all of this."

Hikari stared blankly at the papers in front of her. "Name, birth date, blood type, origins? I know all of this!"

"Hikari-" Itachi's eyes widened when Hikari threw the file across the room. Itachi heard the swoosh as the papers went flying into a corner. He never expected her to be this angry.

"Maybe you should leave." Mangetsu told him before leaving himself.

Itachi's frown deepened. Maybe he should leave her to calm down.

He calmly went to pick up the scattered papers and left without a word. Looking back at Hikari as he closed the door.

She was curled up in a fetal position her face in her hands.

Itachi never saw her looking so small before. Granted she wasn't the tallest he's met but somehow she wasn't small in the slightest. Her confidence and energy made her presence bigger. Now, Itachi couldn't see her the same way.

He opened his mouth to say something but decided against it. Hesitantly, he closed the door but stood outside it for a few minutes.

She let out a heart wrenching sob once he closed the door.

Itachi listened to her sobs outside her room, balling his hands into a fist and biting down on his lower lip.

He never wanted to hear them again.

The new cover is up! i literally spent like three hours or so drawing it so i really hope you guys like it! Feel free to send me your own so I could make them into covers. If you're intrested I'll give you my e-mail! Also I thought that this cover shows Hikari's feutures more clearly while expressing her sassy personality. Feel free to give me your opinions. Criticism is always welcome as long as it's not offensive to anyone. Thank you for reading!