"Hikari, Hikari wake up." Itachi shook her gently avoiding as much of her skin as he could. It healed nicely, but it was still a bit painful for her if someone touched it roughly. It was still freckled. He could still see the brown spots scattered all over her arms and her neck, and her face. It looked so cute to him.
"What?" Hikari groaned.
"Come on, get up."
"Why?"
"Just do it. Come on Hikari."
She swatted his hand away then covered her face with her pillow.
"No."
Itachi sighed. "Here, I'll help you, but you need to get up."
Hikari huffed in annoyance, but ignored him anyway.
Itachi rubbed his face in frustration. "Hikari this is unnecessary. I'm just trying to help."
She still didn't say anything.
Itachi sighed again and set the glass jar on her bedside. "Fine, here it is, remember to put it on."
It was medicine for her skin. The one Sasori made for her.
She hates looking at it. She got angry just seeing it.
That's why Itachi was doing that. Pestering her until she woke up.
Itachi got off the bed.
"Are you going to talk to me today?"
She didn't answer.
She could only muster one word answers, if she tried to. But she couldn't find it in herself to actually talk.
She's had enough crying.
"Okay." He took the pillow off her face gently, giving her a kiss on her forehead.
With that, Itachi walked out.
Hikari stared into the ceiling, letting a tear slip out of her eye.
She still cried anyway, pathetic.
"Any luck today?" Deidara asked, hopeful.
Itachi shook his head.
"She didn't even look at me."
It was rare seeing the two of them getting along.
But they had a mutual interest at the moment.
How to get Hikari to feel better.
"How long has it been anyways?"
"Sixteen days, I think."
Deidara frowned. "No way. That's it! I'm going to talk to her."
"I don't think-" the door slammed shut. "Well there he goes."
"Hikari, Hikari, Hikari, Hiiikkkkaaariiii."
He was met with a whack on the face with her pillow.
"Ow! Okay I deserved that. Listen dude, you gotta get up."
"No."
"What?! Whaddya mean no?! Hikari you have to understand! You left me alone with these bastards for too long!"
"Don't care." She turned away from him, covering her ears with her pillow.
"Ohoho no you don't! Listen to me! You left me with a bunch of... Stiffs!"
Hikari almost smiled at that... Almost.
"Nobody is even laughing at my jokes anymore! I can't have fun! There's no one for me to bother! Sasori-danna is gone and I-" he choked up.
That alarmed Hikari.
She sat up slowly, eyeing Deidara wearily.
He averted his gaze away.
Hikari stared at him uncomfortably. It was the first time she saw Deidara cry.
Because Deidara didn't cry.
Hikari took a deep breath and offered him to sit beside her with a small sad smile.
That was all it took for both of them to break down together.
Itachi tapped on the armrest of the couch, thinking of how to make her feel better.
He knew the grieving process took months or years, but he was always used to Hikari just bouncing right back.
She wasn't this time. She was bottling up her feelings, she refused to talk to him, or anyone else.
His tapping grew more incessant.
He rubbed at his eyes as they lost focus again, squinting at the book in his hand.
It didn't work. He set the book down and leaned forward, digging the heels of his palms into his eyes.
Maybe he should call it a night.
Or check in on Hikari for the night.
That seemed like a good idea.
"Itachi?"
She looked at him sitting beside her on the bed.
He came by earlier, neither of them offering words to the other.
He hummed in reply.
"Is there, I didn't check in a long time is there anything to eat?"
Itachi set the book down looking at her so fast it hurt his neck.
"Eat?"
"Uhm yeah." She fidgeted her thumbs around.
She was asking for food. He didn't have to force her to at least eat something to survive.
She wouldn't allow him to give her any more than the bare minimum, no matter how hard he tried to, so to see her asking for it.
"You, you want to eat."
"I-I think so."
Itachi sprang up immediately. "What do you- what do you want?"
"I don't know. Cereal?"
Cereal? Cereal was better than nothing.
"Okay, okay cereal. I think we have that. Anything else?"
"Uhm, no I don't think so."
"Okay, I'll bring that to you."
"N-no wait I was just asking I'll go get it."
Itachi ignored her and trudged downstairs to the kitchen.
She was talking to him. More than a couple of words at a time.
She was progressing, slowly but surely.
Itachi pulled a bowl out to get her what she wanted. He still wished she talked to him about how she felt, but he would take what he could for now.
Hikari ate her cereal in silence. She wasn't hungry, not in the slightest but...
Every time she ate something Itachi would grow less tense.
Everyday she ate something more than the day before Itachi would sink away in relief.
Every time she put a spoon, a fork or chopsticks into her mouth, Itachi would seem less worried.
Hikari didn't want him to worry over her like that. He worried enough as it is.
Cereal was the only thing she could think of having at the moment. She didn't want to eat.
But she had to anyway.
"I'll come back tomorrow okay?" He gave her a short peck on the lips.
"Okay."
Hikari closed her eyes when the door shut behind him.
She tightened her grip on her bedsheets biting her lip until she drew blood.
It was okay, pain was okay, pain was grounding. It helped her thoughts from going astray.
Pain was welcome.
She needed a shower.
"Hey."
Hikari dropped her glass of water, startled by the voice she hadn't heard in so long.
"You gave me a heart attack." Hikari bent down to pick the glass shards up.
"Sorry didn't mean to."
"Where have you been?"
"Eh, I've been around."
Hikari looked up at him, giving him the stink eye.
"Think you're funny?"
"No I just didn't want to deal with you."
She stopped picking the glass shards, pursing her lips.
"Yes, because I'm such a pathetic human being."
"That's right, wanna know why?"
"I- I think I've had people telling me that enough to last me a life time, thanks."
She got up throwing the glass in the trash.
"Hikari listen to yourself, what's pathetic about grieving? About being human? You're not allowing yourself to grieve. I think you already know the damage that could do."
"I- I can't, if I do then-"
"Then I'll be right here, ready to pick up when you're feeling down. And you know who else?"
"Who?"
"Itachi, he'll be right here too. Listen to me, you need to give yourself a chance to actually cry. Let it all out. Come on Hikari, c'mere."
Hikari bit he bottom lip to keep it from wobbling. He knees gave out from underneath her, as she held her stomach, pressing her forehead to the floor.
Mangetsu sat beside her patting her on the back.
"Everything is going so wrong. Everything's a mess. I lost everything, I still can't remember who I am, who I used to be what I did, it still hurts. It still haunts me, I see people I've killed but I can't even remember what they look like.
"I hate myself, I hate how I look, I hate every scar I have, I hate that I don't know when or why or how I got them. I hate that the people I love left me behind. I hate that Yukine moved away and I have to travel three days to see him.
"I hate how Zabuza, and Juzo died without me actually spending any time with them even though I can barely remember who they are. I hate how I call Kisame by his first name. I hate that I joined the Akatsuki. I hate that there are two people I couldn't save because I'm so fucking weak. I hate that Itachi is trapped and I can't do anything to help him.
"I hate that Kakashi doesn't trust me. I hate that I hurt Naruto. I hate that I'm alive even though I don't deserve it. I hate that Sasori died. I hate the fucking medicine he made me. I hate that Itachi is trying to help me and I'm not letting him. I hate that he's going away. I hate that you're dead." She gripped her head pulling on her hair.
"I hate that I'm stupid. I hate that I can't comprehend chess or shogi. I hate that I can't go back home. I hate that I'm selfish, that I'm a horrible human being. I hate that I'm crying. I hate that it hurts. I hate it all. I hate me."
Mangetsu wasn't expecting all of that.
"I know, I know. It sucks."
"You don't say." She sniffled. Wiping her tears.
"Do you feel any better?"
"No."
"Do you want to cry more?"
"Ye-yeah."
"Okay, cry as long as you want. I'll be here."
"Hikari?"
"Come, come in." She wiped her tears away.
"Hey."
"H-hi, hi."
"Were you crying?"
"Uhm, yeah, I, I was. I was."
Itachi sat beside her.
She reached out to him, stopping halfway.
He met her hesitant gaze.
"Do you have something to say?" He asked gently.
"I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm sorry, I was ru-rude and unbearable and, and I hurt you and I never want to, to hurt you, ever, ever, I-"
"Hey, hey, breathe."
She took a deep breath too fast then started choking.
Itachi laughed. "It's okay, Hikari. You're okay."
"Okay."
"There we go. I know what'll make you feel better."
"What?"
He reached out then gave her a broom stick.
"A broom stick? I don't understand, how is this supposed to make me feel better?"
"Get up, come on."
"Wait where are we going, Itachi- Hey!" She helped as he dragged her off the bed.
She tripped over her feet tangled in the covers.
"Ow."
"Come on! Get up!"
"I'm trying."
"Well try harder."
"You could help me you know!"
He crossed his arms waiting for her to detangle herself.
She huffed in annoyance before banging her head on the floor.
Itachi winced.
"I'm trapped here forever, that's it. I'm never getting up."
Itachi shook his head getting out of the room.
"You want me to what now?"
"Hit me."
"I won't hit you, Itachi."
"Fine by me." He shrugged, swinging at her with his own broom stick.
"Ah- hey!" She jumped away barely avoiding getting hit.
He just swung again.
"What the hell is wrong with you?!"
He hit her forearm. "No talking while sparring. Are you gonna keep dodging forever?"
"Sparring?! Hold on, no one ever told me we were sparring!"
"Well I am now." He jabbed at her, but she blocked him off.
"Is this supposed to make me feel better?"
He shrugged. "That was the idea. You think you're up to it?"
"I can try."
It wasn't really sparring, but more of a get your body moving kind of thing.
They both sucked at fighting with a broom stick.
They both landed hits, Hikari more so than Itachi, but Hikari had a hunch that it was because he was letting her.
"Are you ready to call it quits?" He asked her hitting her stick.
"I thought you said no talking?" She panted.
"Hmm, I did, didn't I."
Their hair was sticking to their foreheads and necks in an uncomfortable way.
Hikari had long ago discarded her boots and stood barefoot on the grass of her backyard.
Itachi still kept his clothes on, but Hikari had half a mind to take hers off.
"I think I'm ready for a cold bath if that's what you're asking."
"Maybe I am." They both discarded their broom sticks.
"Will you brush my hair after I'm out?"
"After my own shower, yes."
"And, and braid it for me?"
"Yes."
"And stay the night?"
Itachi smiled. "Yes."
Hikari gave him the brightest smile he had seen the past month.
They still had a long way to go, but Hikari was making progress.
That's all he could ask for.
A/N: I've been gone for quite sometime, I know. The good news is, my wrist is considerably better. I still get flashes of pain but it's a bit more bearable now. I can go back to writing and drawing. Anyway here's a chapter. it's short and angsty and fluffy all the same. The rating of this story will be changing in a few chapters, because of their contents. I'm saying it now, the rating will change to M because of mature content that will be present in the upcoming chapters. I will announce the rate change when it's time comes, but until then, please enjoy!