A/N: I have returned again, after years, to this story. This chapter is not a direct continuation of the last one, so the title is a bit misleading. This is a short story taking place in the period after Alex and Piper broke up. I wanted to experiment when writing this and I sincerely hope you like it and are not too disappointed after reading this.
"Honey, I am home."
It is the first thing Larry says every night when he walks into their shared apartment. He thinks it is a cute gimmick; Piper thinks it got annoying months ago. She was half-convinced that someone could have died, and still Larry would enter the house using the stupid phrase. Sure, it was funny at the beginning, during those first months of co-habitation after their break, when everything was new and exciting when Piper was blinded by love goggles. Not that she doesn't love Larry anymore; she's just not madly, head over heels in love with him. To be fair, she isn't sure she ever felt that way about her six-month boyfriend. She does like him. She likes him a lot. He can be funny and caring. He just lacks… passion.
"Hey."
She doesn't bother getting up. She'd spent three hours over her best friend's – Polly's – kitchen counter stirring up pots with soap liquid, trying to find a mix that was just right and she had only minutes ago found that perfect spot on the couch.
Larry is taking off his favorite coat that Piper thinks is a few sizes too large for him. He claims it feels more comfortable that way and Piper doesn't argue back, because she has to admit that he looks good in it. He is in the process of kicking off his second shoe -he never bothers to unlace them- when he says, "I got the promotion."
Piper wasn't paying attention to him; her mind was divided between the late-night show playing on the TV and thinking about if she and Polly should raise the prices of their soaps. "What?"
The sound of his keys hitting the ceramic bowls echoes in the small apartment. "I got the promotion." He is not angry; not yet. He knows she gets absent-minded sometimes as if she's left her body here while her mind is somewhere far away.
That makes her turn around. "Really?" She doesn't have to pretend too hard to be excited for him. A promotion would be good for both of them. Her mind is already racing, entertaining the possibilities of what they could do with the extra money. They could buy a new coffee machine; their old one -which Piper had from her old college days- is at its last legs. Or they could decorate the place. Getting a few pieces of art, maybe some fake plants would really bring the place together.
"Yes. I thought they were going to pick Michael, but they didn't. They picked me." He sounds very proud of himself, but also a little surprised; he genuinely did not believe he was going to get picked. Is Piper a terrible person for finding his lack of self-confidence attractive in an endearing way?
"Of course, they did. You are much better than him." She doesn't know if that's the case, as she never really listens when he talks about work -hey, it's not her fault it's extremely boring- but she feels like she has to say it. That's what a good girlfriend would do.
She's up now and her entire body protests but she ignores it as she hugs him, inhaling his ridiculously overpriced perfume. She has told him countless times that she doesn't really care about it and that they should be spending their money elsewhere, yet he keeps on buying it. Piper knows it's not meant for her but rather for the rich assholes in Larry's law firm with their tailor-made costumes and Italian shoes. If buying this makes him feel like he belongs, who is Piper to judge?
"Congratulations baby." She murmurs into his neck before pulling back to kiss him lovingly on the lips. She is proud of him.
"We should celebrate." He says suddenly. "Get the champagne."
"Larry, baby, maybe it would be better if we went out to a nice restaurant tomorrow. I'll make a reservation first thing tomorrow morning."" Piper sharply realizes that she only calls him baby when she is trying to manipulate him. The guilt settles on her stomach, making her frown.
He doesn't notice her sour expression, nor the reluctance in her voice. "Of course we will." He exclaims and Piper can tell from the sound of his voice that there is no talking him down; he is drunk on his own success. He grabs her and kisses her again, this time with tongue. "I will take my lovely girlfriend to the best restaurant in town but right now I want to get drunk," he leans in conspiratorially and whispers in her ear, even though they are alone in the apartment, "and make love to you."
Great, Piper thinks before she can stop herself and immediately wonders when she started thinking of having sex with her boyfriend as a chore. She tries to blame it on her tiredness, but she knows she is not convincing anyone, least of all herself. She forces herself to smile and mutter an okay before going to the kitchen to find the champagne. Piper reaches for the cheaper bottle but pauses. Surely this is a proper occasion for using the fancy bottle that Larry's colleague brought over when they had him and his wife for dinner a couple of months ago. And yet Piper selfishly wanted to keep it for something more special. And by that she did not mean Larry proposing to her; honestly, that was the last thing she was thinking about. She was thinking something more in the terms of having Polly and her boyfriend Pete over, maybe Piper's brother too, for New Year's Eve. Anything would have been better than opening it now when she was too tired to properly enjoy it. But it is Larry's big night, and she is not going to ruin it by being a bitch; at least, she is going to try very hard not to.
She grabs the expensive bottle and two glasses and makes her way back to the couch. Larry has managed to find and light every candle they own and has scattered them around the apartment. He notices her staring, so he says, with a self-satisfied smile, "Romantic, huh?"
More like, fire hazard. "Very." She places the champagne and the glasses on the table and sits down on the couch. "No, let me." She says when Larry reaches for the bottle.
"I want to do it."
"When you do it you always pop the cork." He probably thinks it is charming.
"That's how you are supposed to do it, Pipes."
An exasperated sigh. "No, Larry. No, it's not."
"Why are you being such a killjoy?" He is joking. His good mood seems unaffected by anything.
"I am not. I just don't want you to break anything in the apartment."
"Fine. I'll be careful." He reaches for the bottle.
"Larry…" Piper warns him but lets him take it. It's his night. Maybe all the money he gets from the promotion will go to repairing whatever he breaks. Whatever. It's his money.
He manages to open it without popping the cork and he grins at her. "See. I told you I wouldn't." Piper fights the urge to roll her eyes. "You worry too much, Pipes."
"You worry too much, Pipes." She laughs softly. Piper was always terrified of being the target of laughter, but she knows Alex is not making fun of her. It is a laugh that says you are weird and annoying, and I sometimes cannot stand you, yet I love you. Isn't that hilarious?
"You worry too little."
"Nothing has happened to me so far." She hums playing with a lock of Piper's hair. It was longer back then.
"But it could." It is the first time Piper let herself admit that what the brunette was doing is dangerous. Sure, she trusted Alex and knew that she could probably take care of herself, but she also had a feeling that it would not end well. To be fair, being a drug dealer never did. Piper often felt like her relationship with Alex was a ticking bomb; everything could be destroyed in just a moment if someone in school found out about them or if something happened to— No, she didn't even want to think about that. She wished Alex would stop being a stubborn, pessimistic idiot and realized that life had so much to offer to a bright, young and passionate mind like hers. She wished she could get the brunette to understand that she was throwing it all away by getting involved with a drug cartel.
Alex is lying on her chest and her back is exposed to the chilly air. Piper knows she should cover her with the sheets, but she loves how the moonlight reflects on her ivory pale skin. It is a perfect contrast to her long raven black hair. Oh, how Piper loves that hair. She has mentioned several times now having blue highlights and while Piper doesn't necessarily hate the idea, she will miss lying on the bed next to her and feeling as if she is looking at a renaissance painting.
She abruptly turns and the sheet covering her chest slips for a moment, giving Piper a quick glimpse of her breast. The effect it has on Piper is utterly unfair. How can it scandalize and excite her so, mere moments after sex? She has never felt that way about anyone else, man or woman. She feels like she can never get enough of her like no matter what she does, her desire for Alex will never be quenched. Sometimes the thought fucking terrifies her.
"Are you scared you are going to lose me?" She loves teasing Piper. Loves how her eyes narrow and how her mouth opens, just slightly, when the blonde gets annoyed. Plus, it is too easy.
"Fuck off. It's not funny."
"No?"
Piper shakes her head, all serious.
The brunette pouts, mimicking her lover's expression, "Not even a little bit? Just a little bit." She uses her thumb and index to show Piper what she means but all Piper can think of is that her fingers were inside her just moments ago. It makes her cheeks heat up; it is not shame -there's never shame with Alex- but desire. She kisses her passionately swallowing an amused and quite smug laugh. Alex can be an asshole sometimes. Her lips taste of cheap beer and smoke; the combination should, by all means, be disgusting, yet Piper can't get enough.
"Tell me, why do I put up with you?"
"Easy." Alex says falling back on the bed. "You like me too much."
Piper punches her in the arm but doesn't say anything because she is right. She really, really likes Alex. Hell, she even loves her. In all her previous relationships determining when and who should say the four-letter word was very stressful. With Alex, even though neither of them had admitted feeling this way, they both somehow knew, as if it was a certain fact about the world, some primal truth etched into their souls, something that always was and always will be.
"Seriously, you should be careful."
"Always am, Pipes. You know that."
It was not much in terms of reassurance, but it was the best you were going to get from someone who worked for an international drug cartel.
"Tell me about the new shipment again."
Alex laughed. Piper loved how she closed her eyes when something amused her as if she couldn't believe what she was hearing. "That's your idea of pillow talk?"
"Eighty per cent of our conversation is pillow talk. We barely get out of bed."
"Touché." Alex abruptly turned to look at Piper. The brunette was not a friendly person. If she didn't like you -and in most cases, she didn't- she didn't bother hiding it. Yet, whenever her gaze would fall on Piper her expression would soften, the hard lines of her face melting into a smile. "Have I told you how beautiful you are?"
"You have, but not nearly as many times as you should?"
Alex just hummed entangling their fingers. She brought them to her lips and kissed the top of Piper's hand before placing a long and lingering kiss on each of her knuckles. "You know, you have a knack for business."
"No, I don't."
"Yes. Yes, you do. Why did you major in psychology, anyways?"
A shrug. "I don't know." A pause and a sigh later, "I thought it was more ladylike?"
"More ladylike?"
"Yeah. It's not that I hated it. Stop laughing."
"That's so fucking stupid."
"Shut up."
"Make me."
Never one to back away from a challenge, Piper swung her leg over her lover and with one quick move straddled her, their faces suddenly close enough that the tips of their noses touched.
"Kiss me already you coward."
Simultaneously Piper leaned in and Alex pulled her closer. In between pauses for breathing, the brunette said, "You could major in business if you'd like. In fact, I think that you should."
"You mean go back to university?"
"Yeah, why not?"
"I don't know… I got my degree a few years ago. I only recently got a job. I can't go get a new one."
"Sure you could." A kiss on the neck. "You." On the lips. "Could" Nose. "Do." Left eyelid. "Anything." Right eyelid. "You." Forehead. "Want." Piper pulled her in. It was a kiss that said -screamed- I love you more than anything in the entire world and if I don't have you right now, I might combust.
"I want you."
"You have me."
"Piper? Earth to Piper?"
"Huh?"
"Piper! I am talking to you."
"Sorry."
"Where did you go?"
"Nowhere." Larry did not seem to believe her. He was gullible but everyone has their limits. "I'm just tired. Sorry, baby." She kissed him in an attempt to convince him that she was here with him and not lost in a seven-year-old memory of her ex. It was funny how the word ex only ever meant Alex. There had certainly been many others, both before and after the brunette, and yet she was the only one that had mattered. The only one who still haunted her, seven fucking years later. Just a thought of her made Piper's heart ache inconsolably.
Piper was in New York, drinking and talking with Larry but her mind couldn't stop thinking about her ex-girlfriend whom she hadn't seen in over half a decade. She thought about her scent; vanilla and something else she could never place. She thought about her hair and her beautiful emerald eyes that could melt her away with one look.
Larry is still not convinced, but he lets it go. He does not like conflict, which most times means, as Piper has discovered, that he also doesn't particularly like honesty. It scares Piper sometimes, how their relationship starts to become more and more like her parents'. Play-pretend to keep up appearances and hey, maybe you'll even convivence yourself that you are happy, and everything is perfect.
Piper is tired and slightly tipsy, and the thought of Alex fucked up her mood. She knows she is being a bitch when she says, "You know, I've been thinking." Larry simply hums in response, waiting for her to elaborate. She almost decides against saying it; it will almost certainly lead into an argument and will probably ruin Larry's night. Ultimately, she discovers that she does not care. The realization feels like a needle through her heart; it stings, knowing that you don't love your long-term partner, yet the wound it leaves is small. She'll survive. Hell, she's survived far worse heartbreak than this. "You know, I've really enjoyed working with Polly."
"You are constantly complaining about it."
Piper rolls her eyes. He doesn't get it— doesn't get her. He never did. "Yeah, because it's exhausting trying to balance it with my day job."
Larry's eyes narrow and his left eyebrow twitches just slightly; it's a tell-tale sign that he is surprised with something and that that surprise can quickly turn to anger. "What are you saying?"
She sighs. His tone is accusatory as if he has any say in what she decides to do with her life. "I'm thinking of quitting my job."
"What?" He is emotionless now. A blank canvas. She knows he is waiting for her to tell him it's all just a joke. And she could do that. Oh, it would be so easy to tell him exactly what he wanted to hear. He would laugh and they'd drink some more and then they'd go and have sex for around ten minutes or less – Larry never lasts longer when he's had a drink – mutter meaningless I love yous and go to sleep. But she is so tired of pretending that she is happy with her life.
"You heard me, Larry."
"Is this a fucking joke?" She resists rolling her eyes and shakes her head instead. "You want to quit your job to sell fucking soap you are making out of Polly's kitchen?"
"I want to go back to university. Major in business this time."
"What?" He all but barked. "So, you are telling me, that not only will you stop making money, but you are also going to spend a fortune on a worthless degree?"
"Worthless?"
"You already have a degree, Piper. You have a decent job. I let you make these stupid soaps with Polly because I thought having a hobby would be good for you but—
"You let me?" Piper was fuming.
"Do you know how much university costs? I know your daddy paid it for you the first time, but I sure as hell won't be paying for it."
"I didn't ask you to." She spat out, revolted by Larry's condescending attitude.
"You are thirty-two years old."
"Exactly! I have to do this while I am still young."
"And what about having a family?"
"What?"
"What about having a family." He was no longer angry; he sounded absolutely defeated, like a child waking up on Christmas day and finding no presents.
"I haven't— I— It's too early, Larry."
"No. No, it is not. We've been steadily together for five years, living under the same roof. We are in a good place financially and I think we should start at least thinking about it."
"Larry—"
"I want a baby, Piper."
Piper knows she has no right being so surprised or feeling ambushed. She knows that Larry is being completely reasonable and that she is in the wrong for treating him like a place holder, someone who is just there in the background for her to use whenever she needs to. She knows that he has feelings and dreams as well. She also knows beyond a single doubt that the idea of being pregnant and having Larry's baby makes her want to throw up. And yet, if she closes her eyes and thinks about her life in five years she cannot imagine anything else, because, honestly, she is too much of a coward to leave Larry, because that would mean she would have to stop pretending and finally be honest with herself. And because that terrifies her even more than having a family with Larry she says, "Okay."
It is clear that he did not expect that. "Okay?"
"I want— I think that we should have a family, but not now. I am not ready for a child, Larry. Not yet."
"Of course. I completely understand that."
"I mean, we are not even married."
"Let's get married then."
Piper has never felt this cold in her life. This is how he chooses to purpose to her? Without a ring, or a romantic surprise planned? This is the story she'll have to share whenever people ask them about their engagement?
"I—" She sighs. "Okay." She says and feels like she has given up any dreams or hopes of having a different life.
He smiles and kisses her. "I love you, Pipes."
Piper kisses him back, hoping he'll think the single tear sliding down her cheek is a product of utter joy.
A/N: I would love to hear your thoughts on this. Would you be interested in something similar in the future? Let me know. Thanks for reading!