Thank you for all the reviews! Your reviews made me so happy. I did not expect that many. It's nice to know you Careesers are still out there checking on this fandom. Here's the second part to Disappointment.

Joss watched her third sunset and prepared for another night without John.

The first twelve hours without him had been the worst. Especially once shock wore off. For that was when she began to worry over her continuously silent phone.

It was torture not knowing if the silence was due to her husband needing time to think, and figure out if he could commit to her in the way she asked. Or if the silence was the result of him deciding to use that bullet.

Just as the waiting was about to drive her insane, Finch appeared at her door with Bear and news. Finch hadn't gotten in her door good before he was handing her his phone. Joss's eyes scanned the text displayed on the screen that had come from John.

Finch I'm safe and alive.

Don't come and find me.

Trust me.

I just need time to think.

Then after a minute a second text.

Tell Joss I love her

It wasn't much news, but it was enough to set Joss's mind at ease. At least a little.

Finch offered to ignore John's wish to be left alone. Offering instead to give Joss John's location if she wanted it.

Joss however refused to take Finch up on the offer. John wanted time and Joss would see that he got it. He had a big decision to make and Joss didn't want to make it harder for him by showing up when he wanted to be left alone.

Besides she meant what she said when she left that hotel room. She wanted John to come to her. She needed to know he made up his mind about them.

Finch, however was still worried about her and looking to help in some way, he left Bear behind. To keep her company since John was gone and Taylor was away on a trip with his dad.

Her bedroom darkened as night crept in and minutes continued to pass.

Joss took a breath, disdaining the lonely feeling that chased away slumber. Each hour had her worried that John was only strengthening his resolve to give up. This had been, in Joss's opinion the biggest blow to their marriage since they had become husband and wife.

She couldn't recall feeling so utterly let down. So betrayed and alone. As much as she tried not think about the events that had happened, she couldn't push them out of her mind.

Joss just couldn't understand how John could claim to love her and yet hurt her in this way.

Bear gave a light whine which pulled Joss from her heavy thoughts. She gave the dog a rub on his back. Normally she didn't let him on the bed, but tonight she didn't feel like fighting with anyone.

Suddenly Joss stilled and Bear's ears perked up.

Was that a knock? Joss wondered, remaining still and quiet.

She waited a beat then it happened again. A little louder this time. It was most definitely a knock.

Joss groaned. Who would be at her door now?

Annoyed at being disturbed, she threw off the covers while grabbing her gun. "Bear," she called.

Instantly he was at her side and together, they quietly went downstairs. Peering through the peephole Joss gasped, seeing John on the other side. She braced her hands against the door pausing for a moment before instinct overtook her and she sprang into action.

Setting the gun down her hands shook while she rushed to undo the locks, questions flooding her mind. Why didn't John use his key, being the foremost.

Easing the door back, Joss peered outside, seeing what she hadn't been able to see through the peephole.

John's hands held a large and very lovely bouquet of flowers. The colorful flowers seemed to be the only part of him that stood out in the night's shadows.

Although he wasn't wearing his signature black suit, his current attire had him practically blending in with the night. He was covered in black from his leather jacket and collard shirt to his black jeans. His dark attire not only blended in with the night, but it seemed to match his somber mood.

His face now carried a three day's growth of a beard. And his eyes… Though no longer bloodshot and glassy, those cool blue orbs were dim with despair. Filled with misery that surpassed what she had seen previously.

Realizing they had been silently staring at each other, Joss rested her head against the door warily. He was a sight for sore eyes and even though her heart was still raw with feelings of betrayal, a part of her, a large part still just wanted him back home in their bed where he belonged.

"Hi," she spoke softly. Treasuring this brief moment when she could pretend that everything was okay and she didn't have to be strong.

"Hi Joss." He paused. "May I come in?"

There was no point in delaying the inevitable Joss realized. Wordlessly Joss stepped back. Her eyes followed John's hesitant steps as he entered. Instead of going to the living room he paused awkwardly in the small entryway as if afraid to go further in.

His confident and stoic air was gone, replaced with uncertainty which had Joss feeling sick as to what this visit tonight would mean for her. For them.

Bear, perhaps sensing the tension, remained quiet and calm. His head twisting back and forth between John and Joss. The only sign that he was excited to see his master was his wagging tail.

Again Joss realized they were staring at each other. John's eyes roving carefully over Joss's frame before he came to himself. "These are for you."

He held out the flowers and Joss after a beat took them. Holding them to her, she allowed herself a moment to admire the arrangement. It was beautiful.

She squeezed her eyes shut. And this suspense was aggravating. They had done enough stalling.

Joss's gaze lifted. "So is this an apology… or goodbye?" She forced her voice to remain steady. And she stood stiff as a soldier at attention trying to prepare herself for the worst.

"An apology."

Joss nearly fell over as the weight of the past few days instantly lifted with those words. She blinked several times. An apology? He said an apology. Her hands gripped the flowers as she tried to calm her racing heart. She couldn't let herself get excited yet. This conversation was far from finished. And John had much more talking to do. Joss cleared her throat before she trusted herself to speak.

"Don't you want to come in and sit down?" She nodded toward the living room. When he didn't move, she took the first step, understanding that he was going to be following her lead tonight.

The couch cushions sank beneath her weight as Joss sat down, holding the flowers a little closer. Instead of joining her, John remained on his feet. He had yet to remove his jacket or to do anything to make himself comfortable. He kept his distance from her and from the furniture. Acting like a stranger in his own home.

This unsure version of John Reese was something new for Joss.

"Want to talk about it?" Joss said quietly. She wasn't asking. Only prompting.

"I am sorry Joss. I didn't mean to hurt you the way I did." He began slowly "You have to know that. I…" He appeared discouraged, his eyes shifting away. "Joss I admit I have held onto the bullet, but in the hotel room… that was the first time I considered using it since meeting you."

Joss glanced down. For a moment she had hoped that he was going to tell her she had misunderstood the whole thing. That what she saw that day was not what it looked like. Unfortunately, she allowed herself to hope too soon. She managed to nod, wanting him to continue.

"I know it was wrong for me to even think about using it. But I didn't know it was wrong for me to think that way three days ago."

Her brow furrowed and she looked at him incredulously. What did he mean? How could he not have known it was wrong?

Setting the flowers on the coffee table, she clenched her jaw trying to be patient.

Then, perceptive as he was, he started to answer the questions she hadn't even voiced.

"Joss I've lived most of my life without a family. I've never been tied to anyone the way I'm tied to you. I've… never had a wife." His unsure almost embarrassed tone hooked her attention. "And Taylor, he's the closet I've come to being a parent. You and Taylor didn't come with instructions and I'm doing the best I can. But this whole mess Joss has let me see that… there's a lot about being a husband and stepfather… that I still don't know."

The crease in Joss's brow eased away.

"I would give my life for you and Taylor. You know that. But you don't know that I would give my life for you in more ways the one. I would die to protect you and… I'd remove myself from your lives if I thought I was more trouble than good. It's how I've been for years. It's how I've… shown the people I love how much I love them. It's what I did with Jessica. It's the reason I fought what was between us as long as I did.

In the hotel I thought Joss that if I really loved, I'd make the sacrifice of giving you up. I thought I was being selfish by living. By forcing you and Taylor to have to deal with my baggage. I convinced myself you deserved better than me." His voice was rough. Each word forced intentionally out.

"That you'd never have… what you really deserve as long as you were with me." He closed his eyes tightly. "But I knew I'd never be strong enough to walk away from you." Slowly his eyes opened only to collide with hers. "That's why I took out the bullet. I knew it would be the only way I would ever be able to leave you."

Joss listened letting the tears fall. Her heart breaking as she considered things from his perspective. John was so strong and always so sure of himself that at times even she forgot that a large part his life had been far from normal. He had been thrusted into this family thing. And now that she considered it she had some expectations of him as a husband that his background simply hadn't prepared him for.

"You challenged my way of thinking about love." His voice softened as he continued. "If… I really love you… I'll always keep living. I'll never stop trying to be the man you deserve. That's why you were upset wasn't it? Because the bullet meant that I was going to give up instead of fight."

Joss nodded the action causing more tears to fall. He did understand, she realized with relief.

Joss lightly jumped with she felt John's fingers gently touch her hand. She hadn't even realized he had moved.

"Joss?" He knelt down in front of her and it took some self-restraint for Joss not to bring him closer. "I'm sorry I didn't see it before." He lifted her hand and kissed her knuckles with a level of reverence that sent a shiver down her spine. "It'll be a struggle to change my way of thinking, but I won't let you live in worry, wondering if or when something will push me to use that bullet."

She bit her lip hearing him repeat her words back to her. He released her hand, but did not break eye contact as he pulled an object out of his pocket. Holding it up for her to view.

Reluctantly Joss tore her focus away from his eyes to see the velvet box. He flipped it open and Joss's chin wobbled at the object within. The bullet stared back at her now attached to a glittering chain.

John removed the necklace fastening it around her neck. His fingers traced the chain down until he positioned the bullet above her heart.

"This is my promise to you, that I'll never use this. I'll always fight to live for you. I'll love you enough to keep trying."

Joss had so many things she wanted to say, but John managed to overwhelm her and the words wouldn't come. Reaching out she palmed his face and pulled him roughly to her. Her lips pressed firmly against his and she quickly deepened the kiss.

He sighed leaning into her kiss before he mirrored her actions. Hands cupping her head. He continued his apology in his kiss. He wiped away the tears that he had caused to fall from her eyes.

With his fingers gently caressing her cheeks, his lips moving intentionally over hers, he tried to promise that he'd cherish her more now, than he ever did. Tried to convince her that she really was the best thing in his life.

To assure her that he was ready to give her another part of himself. John broke the kiss when he felt Joss easing his jacket off his shoulders. When he looked at her, she smiled softly.

"You are staying? Aren't you?" John heard the light teasing in her voice and he smiled. The guilt finally starting to lift. He trailed his fingers down her jaw then withdrew his hand.

Slipping out of his jacket he threw it to the other end of the couch even as Joss pulled him up beside her. He didn't hesitate to hold her against him as he stretched his body out on the couch, toeing off his shoes in the process.

Bear followed, laying down on the floor. Accepting that he would be the third wheel tonight.

Fingering her new necklace Joss burrowed further into John's chest and tangled her legs with his. Not quite believing this nightmare was over. She rested her arm over his stomach amazed that in spite of his faults her love for him had only grown deeper. "Thank you for making the right choice John," she mumbled against his shirt even as she felt another wave of tears. "Thanks… for choosing me."

John's chest tightened as he held her. Completely aware of what he'd almost lost. He pressed a kiss to her head. "I'll always pick you Joss. Never forget that."

Thanks again for reading and reviewing. Hope this ending met up with your hopes.