"What in the entire fuck was I thinking?"
Storming back to her office, Olivia was pissed at herself for allowing her emotions and assumptions to get the best of her. It was a complete lack of judgment on her part.
They weren't dating. Hell, haven't even fucked, thanks to her uncertainty and it was probably a good thing she didn't rush that one. Why was she all invested in a man whom she had pretty much denied access over and over again? By the looks of it, his ex-partner was a hot mess and a half and still a part of his life.
She didn't need any of this.
Co-hosts were not required be close buddies. Olivia knew several comrades who couldn't stand their partners so there was no reason for her to be an exception. They were hired to do a job and do it well. Her feelings — or whatever this dynamic was with Fitz — had betrayed her duties for this job. Morning Live was different from her previous assignment as an anchor, when she only had to read a script, and give the people the news. Of course, she was pleasant on screen, and could deliver perfectly. She never tried to outshine anyone but she worked well all of the people she co-hosted with during newscasts. There was no real pressure. Of course, there had to be a chemistry, but nothing like this.
Why was this a struggle? Maybe Edison was right and she wasn't ready for this spotlight, with the meticulous pair of eyes on her constantly. Or, quite honestly, did the combination of learning something new and navigating her exact feelings for Fitz, was the problem and that's why she was so frustrated.
Locking herself in the office, Olivia wanted to make it clear that no one would try to find her or attempt to "talk it out". She had to think out an effective plan, because if the office rumblings were happening because of an unfortunate exchange on the Wharf boardwalk, she couldn't imagine the footprint of gossip if everyone found out what was going on between them outside of the station.
Thirty minutes into her alone time, the phone rang.
"What?"
"Hi. What's going on?"
"Nothing that concerns you."
It was Cyrus on the line and he scoffed loudly. "That is a lie and you know it. No. High. Fives. You haven't high-fived each other since Friday's broadcast. You need to tell me what's going on. It's becoming obvious you are not having a good time right now. And if I can see it, then the viewers will too. Does it have to do with Fitz? Is he making you uncomfortable?"
"No. I received poor feedback over the weekend and it got to me. Made me second guess myself and what our objective is with the show, and that backfired."
Olivia was lying. There was no reason to share with Cyrus her truth for now, it was none of his business.
"Understandable. We all get frustrated and discouraged, but we need to move on from there. I would like you to talk with Fitz. That's why Annalise has those weekly meetups, so you can reset, if you will. Make sure you're on the same page. People are going to talk and that's their fucking problem. They're going to think one day you two are together and other day, you hate each other's guts. But you have to put all of that aside because we hired you to be on. For a full hour. Please. I don't care if you hate how he talks, or don't like how he picks at his food, or can't stand how he winks and flirts with other people in the studio. Just…do what you need to make it work. At least until after ratings."
There was truth behind Cyrus' lecture. November ratings were vital to a show's success. If shit wasn't clicking, there would be personnel changes. Olivia couldn't afford to get fired, or get moved to a secondary role. She had to get it together.
With a polite nod, Olivia replied, "Thank you."
"Do you want to take the rest of the week off?"
The question threw Olivia off: two and a half months into her new gig and she was being asked to take a breather? Was she that unreliable? Although they had been awkward, nothing was that terrible. The tweets were positive and Annalise would have ordered them to come into her office.
"You know, that won't be necessary, Cyrus."
"Are you sure? I want to make sure you're well rested and back to what we know you're capable of."
Olivia was starting to get defensive. "Did you give Fitz the same offer?"
"Well, no."
"With all due respect, I do not like where this conversation is heading, Cyrus. I will be fine. Tomorrow morning, I will be ready. All personal matters will be irrelevant. Thank you for your call."
She hung up, seething. If anything was going to happen, she needed the respect of everyone at that station, including her superiors. The double standards regarding a woman were frustrating as all get out.
Olivia began her quick mission to apologize to the people she crossed paths during the week. The first person she saw? Jake Ballard. The sight of him made her roll her eyes. He wasn't the worst person in the world, but his classic smug looks, awkward responses, and cocky personality, didn't help his cause.
"Hey."
"Hello."
"How are you?"
Knowing he was fishing by his drawn out question, Olivia fixed her annoyed expression and stated, "I'd rather not discuss it with you, but I want to apologize for my less than stellar behavior this week."
Jake nodded with understanding. "Apology accepted. I don't blame you. I bet it's hard working with him."
Suddenly confused, Olivia asked, "I beg your pardon?"
Jake shook his head, coming closer to her, lowering his voice, as if he was ready to reveal a deep secret about Fitz. "He must have done something terribly wrong to ruffle your feathers, because you two have been so good together. That's what happens when you get paired with a handsome S.O.B. The pressure is on! Those California boys. He must be a playa, playa, playa."
She frowned, even more annoyed by all the word vomit. "Jake. Let's not do this. I only wanted to apologize."
As she passed him, Jake added, "Be careful, Pope. There are other men in this town who can show you a good time and they won't try to embarrass you in public."
Olivia stilled in her heels, thinking of all the ways she could tell him to fuck off. Instead, she pivoted back to him. Taking a breath, she gave a half-smile.
"Don't know where you were going with that, but unless we are discussing segment topics, the state of our show, or shooting the breeze about D.C. weather, don't ever talk to me like that again. See you tomorrow."
Olivia used the rest of her time at the station to find the people she crossed and potentially offended by her angry tongue. She found Laurel and Michaela in the break room and spoke her peace.
"His ex looked like bad news. She has to be jealous of you two," Michaela offered, wanting to stay on Olivia's good side. "If she really knew how awesome and professional you were, she wouldn't step to you. I hope he reminds her that you're not the one!"
Laurel had a different take on the matter. "That's the beast of this business. Always under the eye of someone and people will always want to take you down. I'm sure you two will figure out a balance, even if you date other people. Or if you decide to..."
"Laurel," Michaela playfully reprimanded.
Olivia tilted her head, clasping her hands together, remaining calm. It felt like everyone was in the mood to give shitty advice.
The dark brunette shrugged, tapping her toe on the linoleum. "It's bound to happen. Mark my words. Something will. I see how you look at each other. He adores you, has been smitten since screen tests. And if you're ready to tear us apart because of something his ex told you, while you were working... that's a sign, Olivia. He'll ask you out by Christmas."
Inwardly, Olivia was going haywire. How did she not notice this? She assumed Fitz's attraction to her was after Annalise hired them. Not the first day. She didn't even realize when she began her crush on him.
"Well," she interjected, with a cordial grin, "I doubt that will go over well, given our positions. But thank you for your understanding. See you in the morning."
Slowly crossing the hall, Olivia decided to give her most important apology last. Third door on the left. But as she approached, the door swung open.
"Oh, shit!"
"Oh my God, I'm sorry."
The two were clearly shocked to see each other in that moment.
Fitz reached for her arm, "I didn't know you were coming."
Clutching her necklace out of routine, Olivia rambled, "Sorry. I thought we could talk, but you must be busy so I'll catch you tomorrow."
Fitz's eyebrows lifted as he smiled, watching how flustered she was, stumbling at her words. "No, please, come in."
As she walked into his office, Olivia allowed herself to breathe. The confidence she always knew she possessed, faltered a bit when she was in his presence. Not because of fear; she was not scared of him. But the feeling of being vulnerable, that was something she never permitted to have around others.
"So…"
Fitz kept his distance, hands in his pockets.
Closing her eyes for a few seconds, Olivia recited the quick statement she thought of earlier. "I was out of line. I shouldn't have taken what occured on Saturday to heart. I let it override my thinking and got us in a tad of hot water with management. It will not happen again. Please accept my apology."
Everything was so official with her. As she finished, Fitz crossed his arms, but he had this goofy look on his face.
"What?"
"Absolutely, Miss Serious."
Olivia's eyesbrows lifted, feigning offense. "What?"
"I forgive you and I do appreciate this. I know you were upset. Had every reason. But, you're just talking to me. You can be honest with me. You do not have to be extra professional with me. Hell, you're wearing a green dress with Uggs on."
"Thank you and shut up." Olivia had to smile, letting herself relax.
Fitz added, "If you are ever pissed at me, I need you to tell me as soon as you can. Because I can't stand at it when you don't look at me. I'm so used to seeing you. Your beautiful eyes. I know when you're off and I'm sure you know when I'm not having good days either."
"That is true..."
She paused, intently keeping her eyes on him. He knew what was coming next.
"Go ahead, Liv."
"What Mellie said... Is it true?"
When he didn't respond immediately, it made Olivia nervous. In her mind, she thought Fitz would adamantly renounce that woman and everything would be settled.
"Oh."
"No," he firmly replied. "I broke up with her before I came here. There's so much to explain, but God, no. That was the first time we've talked since I left."
Olivia put her hands to her side, leaning against his desk. Summoning her courage, she spoke, "I don't care about what you did in Los Angeles, or what you're up to here. But I need you to be honest with me. Are you a playboy? For real? Because I don't mess with playboys, fuckboys, or anything labeled with the phrase 'boy' in it. I'm not about to get my heart played with if that's the case."
"Liv."
Watching him move towards her, she lifted her hand. "We don't have to be exclusive. I shouldn't expect that from you and vice versa. Just…give me a heads up."
"Stop right now," Fitz sweetly requested, putting his hands on her hips. "I only have eyes for you."
Those blue eyes, full of admiration for her. Olivia was rendered speechless. That whole foolish lecture for nothing.
A loud series of knocks interrupted them, and Marcus poked his head in. Thankfully, they both had quick reflexes and separated.
"Fitz! Sorry, Olivia. We have a request for you to sub our noon broadcast, are you available?"
"Sure," he nodded. "Give me a few minutes."
When the door closed, Fitz strutted over to Olivia, nudging her legs apart, so he could get closer. "Hey. I like you and I am not seeing anyone. I hope this is the same for you. If you will let me, can we talk later?"
Olivia could believe him; she knew he was good for it. Taking his hand in hers, she agreed.
"Yes. I would like that. We should talk. I'm sorry for assuming."
"I think," he started, rubbing her arm. "We should start over. Hi, I'm Fitz Grant, and I'm your co-host."
"Hi. Olivia Pope. Nice to meet you. I like you too."
Fitz softly chuckled, before leaning down to kiss her. Olivia's breath hitched, as she melted, feeling his soft lips on hers. Gripping her hand on the desk, she had to stay present, because their time was limited. But damn, she was reminded of how well he knew her, physically. Rubbing his thumbs on her jaw, pulling her in closer. Her cheeks rose while their kiss deepened, while her left hand lightly ran through Fitz's gelled curls, careful to keep them set.
She groaned when Fitz gingerly inched away.
Looking right in her eyes, making sure they could see one another, he said, "I have to go. But I want you to have a great day. Text me when you're free."
Olivia squeezed his hand as they walked to the door.
"Sounds good."
Another quick kiss and off Olivia went to grab her stuff, so she could leave, finally. Her new challenge — keeping a poker face around the office, so no one would know what was going on. This little secret of hers.
Olivia decided stay busy for the rest of the day; working on decorating the apartment would be a good idea.
She had a feeling the night would be a long one and she'd want Fitz at her place this time around...
I haven't finished a chapter this quickly in a long time!
Dedicating this chapter to Miss Giulia. I hope you like.
It's short, I know...but next chapter...well, you'll see.
xo